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[Approved] Ruron[Archived]; Waiting for approval
Topic Started: Dec 8 2014, 11:30 AM (576 Views)
Lapin Ranger
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× General Information

Name:Ruron
Gender:Male
Age:20
Height:1m70
Weight:70 Kg
Species:Human
Appearance:pale skinned, long black curly hairs, grey eyes, a 2days beard, always look tired, calm or bored, a sort of sarcastic smile. Always half dressed casual/class
Several scars on the body:
a highly visible on the right side of the head, at the border of Hair
a trace of scratches on top
lip split up slightly (also a scar)
a scar on the right corner of the chin
several traces on the hands (burns, scratches, ...)

Image


Profession: Aspirant hunter
Reputation: 0 (Rank H)
Background

Backpack


× Physical Statistics

[0/0]
[0/50]

Aura:12
Might:8
Agility:10
Endurance:12
Accuracy:8

× Nen Techniques

Basic Nen Techniques

Hatsu Affinity:Manipulation


[5/6]
[0/0]


Hatsu Theme:
General Hatsu Description:
General Hatsu Conditions:

Hatsu Abilities



× Non-Nen Techniques

[15/16]
Techniques
Edited by Lapin Ranger, Jan 10 2015, 01:32 PM.
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Asylum
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Prone to Madness

Apologies for the late response. In the future, if you're looking for feedback in a WIP progress profile post a reply in it so the mods know to review it.

Comments:
You're going to need to go into a lot more detail for the Ruron disease, and its unlikely that you'll get it for r5. Just free control of all an opponent's senses can't be earned easily. I say stick to one sense, and describe the extent of the control he gains. I also don't understand how you mean for it to be spread.

The buffs you provide yourself with Self Puppet are much too large considering the really, really weak conditions. Same for your other hatsu.
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Lapin Ranger
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I think it's good.,normally it is correct

If it is still not correct I have a few ideas to rework the character, otherwise I would change the character deeper

Don't apologies that's my bad :3
Edited by Lapin Ranger, Dec 14 2014, 01:35 PM.
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Entropy
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Taking Notes

Check your formatting on your non nen techs, and reduce your hatsus drastically as you only receive 6 starting ap. Read the below link if you need help, or ask about it in chat.

http://s1.zetaboards.com/Hunter_X_Hunter_RPG/topic/4533447/1/#new
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Kain
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Tiger Lord aka Star Lord aka Vigo aka Chocolate Thunder

For Ruron Disease

Effect: Transforms all other people that the afflicted sees into Ruron, giving them a false identification of their target. This confuses them and in turn effects their ability to make wise/safe choices and possibly disrupts their mental capacity to deal with the situation.

(Could look somewhat like this. Doesn't give specific debuffs, but kinda implies that their perception and ability to reason is lowered.)


- Also specify what a biological sample of Ruron is. - An alternate you could say is that they spread the disease the same way they got infected.

Which brings me to another way to infect the target. You could also splash them with blood.

-You'd also need a way to dispel the affliction, maybe something along the lines of needing another dose of your blood to life the affliction. Other than waiting for the post limit to be reached.

-Cooldown should be a bit longer. Maybe around 2 posts.

-Also, you mention being "healed" can you expand on what that means exactly in reference to your ability.
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:)Westborn
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The Most Responsible Adult in your Living Room

For self puppet I'd like to know how long does he need to stretch. Does he need to do the Goku, stretch each leg for a second and you're good to go, or does he have to go all out yoga master?

Also, Ultra Slash. No to doing damage through guards. You could say it can cause a slight numbing effect, but no damage through blocked guards.
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Ken sweatshirt
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Everyone's always telling you to be humble. When was the last time someone told you to be great?

1/2 approved
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Asylum
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Prone to Madness

Change the number of victims that the ruron disease can affect to 1, but with the ability to increase it by investing TP later.

Self Puppet... 4 posts does not equal one week. Maybe like 10 posts, minimum. Can you describe the backlash more too? Since its like an adrenaline rush, is it the normal stuff like torn muscles and heavy exhaustion? You need to add a duration as well.
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:)Westborn
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The Most Responsible Adult in your Living Room

Approved, 2/2

PS, when you make changes, a post telling us you did it usually prompts a faster response time :P
Edited by Westborn, Jan 12 2015, 08:35 AM.
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