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[Approved] Horogorom Vulkheit[Archived]; Up for consideration
Topic Started: Dec 6 2014, 05:13 PM (882 Views)
TheAlchemical
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× General Information

Name:Horogorom Vulkheit
Gender: Male
Age: 24
Height: 6'8"
Weight: 280lbs
Species: Human
Appearance: Towering over and standing wider than most others, Horogorom's build leaves little question to what manner of combatant he might be, or so it would seem. Horogorom's childhood was spent on fishing and trading vessels, and despite his growth spurt into a hulking mass, his nimbleness and keen eye never left him. Faster than most would expect, a layer of lean climber's muscle sits underneath a thick layer of barrel chested fat. his appearance would appear distinctly Persian. His face a dark mask, cracked by windburn at only 24 years. Adorning his grimace of a face is a thick handlebar moustache and a long tuft of chin hair braided into the the eyeholes of the skull of a small exotic bird reminiscent of a parrot, though with a prominent hornlike bill across its beak.

Portly and sporting more of a mug than a face, a crop of greasy, matted black hair sits atop his large head. Slicked back with years of salt and sweat his jet hair juts unkempt from a tightly woven silk Rajasthani turban dyed a regal, almost azure, shade of purple. His attire consists of little more than a loose pair of linen trousers adorned with red stitches, a sash across his waist dyed an almost obnoxious shade of pumpkin orange and a pair and a pair of black buckled boots. Across his collar and back hangs a large sealskin cloak that drapes to the middle of his calves and is held together with a crude pewter broach in the shape of a scimitar encircling an exotic bird.

His scimitar is a simple, yet well crafted steel weapon. Adorned with no markings but the smith's insignia its steeply curved blade extends 92cm from the hilt, making it notably larger than more common varieties. A blueish rayskin handle and brass crossguard and pommel appear to be the only adornments.

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Profession: Jackpot Hunter
Reputation: 0 (Rank H)
Background

Backpack


× Physical Statistics

[0/0]
[50/50]

Aura: 7
Might: 7
Agility: 10
Endurance: 8
Accuracy: 18

× Nen Techniques

Basic Nen Techniques

Hatsu Affinity: Transmutation

[6/6]
[0/0]

Hatsu


[16/16]
Techniques
Edited by TheAlchemical, Dec 19 2014, 01:28 PM.
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TheAlchemical
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Okay, I've done another round of adjustments and I think Horo is ready to ship out.
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Ken sweatshirt
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Everyone's always telling you to be humble. When was the last time someone told you to be great?

Moved to approval
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Ken sweatshirt
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Everyone's always telling you to be humble. When was the last time someone told you to be great?

Put a time limit on how long the poisons last. * also, currently the 'time limit' depends on the others endurance, nice move but it seems like the higher their endurance, the higher the poisons last. That doesn't make sense, right? Make it the opposite, the higher the endurance of the opponent, the lower the onset and time. Maybe a correlation between your aura and the target's endurance?

One post preparation post, in that post you'd also decide which method, would be a pretty fitting condition, though it isn't necessary.

Put a cap on the strength of the poison *Make it by rank, say you can take max rank G type of poisons or something

Second hatsu probable needs a hatsu name lol.
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TheAlchemical
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The time limit was designed that way, it's basically a way for my ability to not immediately be hosed by powerful stats. The idea is that the longer my Hatsu lingers in their body and works its way into every nook and cranny the harder the target will succumb to it. It I'm facing an opponent with 100 Endurance and I inject them that means it'll take 25 post (What I would assume to be quite a long amount of time in RP) to even have any effect on them, but will affect them for 50 post. My ability would be kind of pointless if it only worked on chumps. This is clearly an extreme example, but it brings my point across.

A post of preparation doesn't seem unreasonable, I'll tack that on.

I'll add in the ranking discrepancy, but I'll probably have to take a look at the system first so I can gauge it myself. I don't really know what a G-Rank is capable of. That might be something we could address when my poisons begin to grow in power.

And I'll name the hatsu.

Edited by TheAlchemical, Dec 10 2014, 02:24 PM.
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Ken sweatshirt
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Everyone's always telling you to be humble. When was the last time someone told you to be great?

Yeah, but there is a difference here. The way it normally should be, it wouldn't be only effective on chumps, it would be the most effective on people of your level and below, and lesser on higher people, like seems natural. And even in the extreme example, you're able to hit them for 5 pages long. Think about that. 100 Endurance. 5 pages long.

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TheAlchemical
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Yes, you're totally right. But like I said, it's a very extreme example.

But if I'm fighting someone with 100 endurance. I'm probably not coming out of that fight alive. Not only will I not be fighting someone with 100 in a stat for... presumably years if I stick around that long, but even if they let me hit them over and over with my sword for 5 pages of posts, I probably still wouldn't kill them.

That's an extreme example. Say they are still way above me and have 20 endurance, it will take 5 post to come to effect and last for 10. Yes, a strong effect, but while I'm in that fight I still need to beat them myself, and I have 0 damaging hatsus, only a moderate debuff. My damage output is low without a true offensive hatsu, so my engagements with hunters much stronger than I will be sparse and I'm sure largely unfruitful without assistance.

All together my ability works well in conjunction with other PCs and allies, but in a one on one fight it only gives me a truly significant advantage against someone of my own power level. I'd assert that my power level alongside this hatsu isn't completely out of line for a PC of this level.
Edited by TheAlchemical, Dec 10 2014, 02:49 PM.
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Asylum
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Prone to Madness

A nitpick of mine: I told you that you could only keep two poisons of three at a certain level you previously had... so you removed one and buffed the other two!? Kinda cheap man.

You haven't changed the rank of the hatsu to 2 like I asked.

I didn't intend for you to only allow one poison to work on an opponent at once, just that he couldn't inject someone with his entire repertoire with one attack - but including a cap per target is a pretty good condition in and of itself which would let you get away with more.

Zunga is completely right when it comes to duration. The poison should have a reduced effect on stronger opponents if anything, not increased. That makes no sense regardless of how long you set the onset as. As I assume the poison will still take effect even if you don't stick around to fight them.

As for the needle hatsu, I agree with Entropy that it would make a lot of sense to literally conjure a needle to inject his poisons with. Conjuration and Transmutation are next to each other on the affinity chart for reasons like this. That said, I can also see you excusing it as transmutation - if Gon can have a transmutation ability involving making his nen sharper I don't see why you couldn't do pointy. Of course, making the pointy aura hollow so as to store poison and giving it an injection mechanism makes it more complicated than that. So this is my opinion: if you keep it as Transmutation make it r4, but if you make it Conjuration it can stay r5.

On another note, I have some ideas for improving your hatsu that you might be interested in, but I don't want to go into detail here. If you want, we can talk over PM.
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TheAlchemical
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Oh, sorry about that. Those aren't necessarily buffs, in the interest of describing every effect a hatsu has I felt it was appropriate to describe exactly what it meant when a poison's effects took hold. If a person's might is reduced it should make them weaker, but what defines weaker? What defines less accurate? It's more of a means to an end than a buff. It's assumed that might poison would weaken a person's muscles and and accuracy would make it more difficult to discern an opponent's presence but I felt it was better to say so. Ultimately the weakening might take hold different ways, but they seemed like good descriptors.

I did change it to rank 2 for a while, but because of some edits I did for others the power level dropped before it came to this point. I can edit that, but I do think 4 whole AP seems excessive for me including a reduction of its effective time. I can reduce its duration, but in exchange I'd like to preserve one of the AP.

From what I've seen of other hatsus on the site I feel like my ability is being misconstrued as greatly out of line with most others in power level and potential lethality, but I suppose that's not my place. Right now, yes, the ability has the potential to hit someone of my level of SP pretty damn hard, but I don't see a reason why my character has to be punished for taking on something much stronger than him other than getting his ass handed to him.

One improvement that might be made is keeping the onset and duration equal instead of double, that should take the edge off its power level I suppose.

I'd rather take the needle up to r4 if it means its ratio doesn't drop to 80%, honestly. It'll cost the same amount of AP one way or another.

I would like to once more argue for the duration of my hatsu, I understand that the stronger an opponent the less effective it might be, but we aren't talking about an enhanced punch or a lightning strike or something tangibly making contact. We're talking about what could literally be considered a nen "curse". My aura is taking on the properties of a poison and is being imbued upon them and works it way through the entirety of their body before they must succumb, so it fits in my head whilst maybe not mechanically for this forum. As far as I've had it explained an average post whilst in combat is only 10-15 seconds, maybe 30 seconds max. Against a very, very durable opponent with 20 endurance my poison will take just over one minute to succumb to IV poison and would only last about two and a half minutes. Hell, a balloon full of NO2 lasts about that long. Were I to want to use the poison like an assassin and spike a drink they'd be more inconvenienced by the alcohol than my poison.

I'm sorry if I'm coming off bitchy and persistent, but it feels like my ability is being neutered and it's kind of disappointing knowing that it will not only be ages (weeks to months) before I'll ever be allowed to use it, and that once I am able to use it when I'm out of the Hunter exam, it'll basically be a drop in the bucket against most opponents.
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Asylum
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Prone to Madness

Ok, topics I talked to you about in the chat:

1. Duration (not onset time): Can't make it have a longer duration on stronger opponents. Either make it so that the duration decreases as endurance increases, or at least stays static. This will be changed as the new poison system is released.

2. Rank: Keep the part about only one poison working on any single opponent at a time, and you can keep it as r3. Make it so that multiple can infect one person at a time, and it would need to be r2.

3. Poison Effects: Accuracy Debuff and the doppelgangers would be considered separate effects.

4. Syringe hatsu: Make r4 transmutation or r5 conjuration. Both have their benefits, but I wouldn't worry about the 80% part for such a simple 'conjure syringe'.
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Ken sweatshirt
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Everyone's always telling you to be humble. When was the last time someone told you to be great?

1/2 approved
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