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| [Approved] Horogorom Vulkheit[Archived]; Up for consideration | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 6 2014, 05:13 PM (881 Views) | |
| TheAlchemical | Dec 6 2014, 05:13 PM Post #1 |
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× General Information Name:Horogorom Vulkheit Gender: Male Age: 24 Height: 6'8" Weight: 280lbs Species: Human Appearance: Towering over and standing wider than most others, Horogorom's build leaves little question to what manner of combatant he might be, or so it would seem. Horogorom's childhood was spent on fishing and trading vessels, and despite his growth spurt into a hulking mass, his nimbleness and keen eye never left him. Faster than most would expect, a layer of lean climber's muscle sits underneath a thick layer of barrel chested fat. his appearance would appear distinctly Persian. His face a dark mask, cracked by windburn at only 24 years. Adorning his grimace of a face is a thick handlebar moustache and a long tuft of chin hair braided into the the eyeholes of the skull of a small exotic bird reminiscent of a parrot, though with a prominent hornlike bill across its beak. Portly and sporting more of a mug than a face, a crop of greasy, matted black hair sits atop his large head. Slicked back with years of salt and sweat his jet hair juts unkempt from a tightly woven silk Rajasthani turban dyed a regal, almost azure, shade of purple. His attire consists of little more than a loose pair of linen trousers adorned with red stitches, a sash across his waist dyed an almost obnoxious shade of pumpkin orange and a pair and a pair of black buckled boots. Across his collar and back hangs a large sealskin cloak that drapes to the middle of his calves and is held together with a crude pewter broach in the shape of a scimitar encircling an exotic bird. His scimitar is a simple, yet well crafted steel weapon. Adorned with no markings but the smith's insignia its steeply curved blade extends 92cm from the hilt, making it notably larger than more common varieties. A blueish rayskin handle and brass crossguard and pommel appear to be the only adornments. Image Profession: Jackpot Hunter Reputation: 0 (Rank H) Background Backpack × Physical Statistics [0/0] [50/50] Aura: 7 Might: 7 Agility: 10 Endurance: 8 Accuracy: 18 × Nen Techniques Basic Nen Techniques Hatsu Affinity: Transmutation [6/6] [0/0] Hatsu [16/16] Techniques
Edited by TheAlchemical, Dec 19 2014, 01:28 PM.
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| קּParadox | Dec 6 2014, 07:51 PM Post #2 |
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Your hatsu could work like this you could a max debuff of 6 Sp and each type of delivery affects a different thing lets say gas right could debuff accuracy right if it gets in there eyes injection could affect endurance topical could be might and oral aura or however you want so lets say you gass someone that would be 2 Sp you debuff you could do it 3 more times so they get a 6 debuff. Or mix it up and give them a bunch of other effects ect ect. |
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| Asylum | Dec 6 2014, 09:10 PM Post #3 |
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Prone to Madness
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'Any Type' of Poison isn't going to be acceptable, probably no matter how you slice it, as one of our site's rules for hatsu specifies that all of any ability's effects must be described in its description. You need to describe the exact effects that the poison has in your Venom Demon ability, not just state that he has many and how long they take to take effect. It is possible for you to have multiple poisons, however, if you describe each one - but the more you add and the effects of each one will begin to increase its rank. On another note, you won't be getting Killua level poison immunity at r2. Rank 4 will give you immunity to weak poisons, Rank 8 to moderate ones, Rank 14 to strong ones, and Rank 28 to most. We also don't differentiate between normal poisons and nen-based poisons (unless the nen poisons are specified as different). |
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| TheAlchemical | Dec 6 2014, 11:13 PM Post #4 |
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For the "any poison thing" I get it, but it is useful as a condition slot. So I'd like to keep it, and any effects of poisons he has available to him will be specifically noted, though I could use the terminology as a way to rationalize his spending AP during revisions to add new effects. I believe it'd be a good balancing point for him acquiring more potent or lethal poisons. He can't inject himself with something that will kill or permanently paralyze him, so it's a good way to make him keep a deadly poison in the vial as opposed to hitting himself with it. As for the poison immunity, message received, it will be properly edited. I have 2 AP remaining, what should I do with it? Make up a new hatsu or ramp up my poison? If the latter how would you suggest I do so? How do you feel about his needle hatsu? It's pretty simplistic and straightforward. It can't do any meaningful damage on its own other than maybe drawing a drop of blood, so I'd assert that it's either a high Rank 5 or a very low Rank 4. Also, I posed this question earlier. Do we have any rules for stat reduction and bringing someone to zero SP on a stat? Will 0 Might make them go limp? Will 0 awareness blind them etc.? Any other nitpicks are welcome, any suggestions or improvements are even more welcome. |
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| קּParadox | Dec 6 2014, 11:19 PM Post #5 |
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You also have Tp to upgrade your hatsu so you don't need to spend Ap for a upgrade its another option for you don't forget... |
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| TheAlchemical | Dec 6 2014, 11:20 PM Post #6 |
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Thank you, I forgot about TP. For some reason I thought it was only for Non-nen. Any ideas for how I can put those two AP to work? |
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| קּParadox | Dec 6 2014, 11:23 PM Post #7 |
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3 choices save them use them or upgrade what do you feel you need the most. |
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| הּKen sweatshirt | Dec 7 2014, 08:02 AM Post #8 |
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Everyone's always telling you to be humble. When was the last time someone told you to be great?
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I'd advise saving them, soon you can get more AP and maybe throw another R3 hatsu in there. |
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| Asylum | Dec 7 2014, 05:30 PM Post #9 |
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Prone to Madness
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Make your Venom Demon hatsu rank 2. I say also remove one of your current poisons so you only start with two of that level. Regardless, when the system is up, you'll need to fill out a template for each of these poisons. The system should fit well enough with your ability, as poisons are divided into ranks. The higher the rank, the more points they will have to spend on varying effects. Method of injection is also considered in this system. One thing I want you to add is some condition stating that he can only use one poison at once. In other words, he can't inject somebody with every single poison in his repertoire at the same time. He could however inject someone with one poison, then switch to another and use a different one. For another matter, how does the transmutation of his aura work? Does he just will it and his aura is now poison? Does the 2 post cooldown mean that he has to wait two posts before changing poisons? Syringe Hatsu: Is there any limit to how many syringes he can make or how large? Can he coat his body in an armor of syringes? Can he make them 10 feet long and stab someone from a distance? If you want to keep this as rank 5, then you'll need to keep it simple - basically, keep them of normal size, place a limit on the number, and make them stay in his hands. |
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| Entropy | Dec 7 2014, 06:38 PM Post #10 |
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Taking Notes
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In addition to everything Asylum said, could you clarify on the "he must have suffered the effects?" If he has immunity to most poisons, him having suffered the effects of most poisons would be unlikely. Furthermore, injecting himself with the poison would have little to no effect on him, so it hardly seems fair that it would bolster the attack's ability. Furthermore, while the transmutation into poison works with the aura, however, transmutation is giving your aura the properties of something, not actually creating it. Given that, I would recommend making the syringes a conjuration hatsu, and add limitations like Asylum said. Another note, for your non nen techs, I feel you could overall add a little more detail. For the first two, add some info beyond "trained to fight with". How do they fight with them (think style such as fencing, or swashbuckling), where does that style excel, where does it struggle? You also have the motif of forcing the defender to choose one or the other, however this is unrealistic, as other factors could allow the defender to bypass this constraint. Instead, try to go broader than "uses the opening created by an opponent dodging or blocking either of the strikes to land a successful hit with the other." and describe how the attack takes place. For example, you could instead say something along the lines of "launches two feints, converting the feint that is not dodged/blocked into an attack aiming to hit the opponent, should they create an opening". I know it's a tad bit nit-picky, but I hope the input can be useful. |
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1:19 AM Jul 11