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[Approved] Zane White[Archived]
Topic Started: Dec 1 2014, 04:23 AM (242 Views)
theonewhowins
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× General Information

Name: Zane White
Gender: Male
Age: 11
Height: 4'11"
Weight: 100 lbs
Species: Human
Appearance: Zane is a kid, so obviously he's short. A look of disinterest is what most often appears to be on his face. His hair is black in color, mid-neck length at the furthest back, and is rarely tidied up at all, instead having oddly thick frizz. His normal outfit consists of a blue-grey hoody over a black tank top, and a pair of black track shorts with slightly intricate white designs. Along with these, he usually wears black sneakers with light blue shoelaces. The most notable feature about him is the right side of his face having a perfectly vertical scar right through the eye, stopped just short his hairline and jawline. His eyes are a dark azure color. Zane's aura is tufts blue interior with an odd shift to cerulean with no subtlety at a certain distance away from him.

Image


Profession: Adventurer
Reputation: 0 (Rank H)
Background

Backpack


× Physical Statistics

[0/0]
[0/50]

Aura: 10
Might: 10
Agility:10
Endurance: 10
Accuracy: 10


× Nen Techniques

Basic Nen Techniques

Hatsu Affinity: Enhancer


[3/6]
[0/0]


Hatsu Theme:
General Hatsu Description:
General Hatsu Conditions:

Hatsu Abilities


× Non-Nen Techniques

[46/46]
Techniques
Edited by theonewhowins, Dec 2 2014, 01:03 AM.
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:)Westborn
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The Most Responsible Adult in your Living Room

So, uh we're going to need to debuff Zane some. Most notably The Kings Disposition. A permanent buff of that magnitude just isn't possible, let alone one you're able to stack onto itself 4 times. If you want a buffing hatsu try to focus it into a few areas, such as one that increases agility and accuracy, one that does strength and endurance, or whatever other combination you want. You're also going to need to come up with a condition for these abilities, such as he needs to meditate for a post to activate one of these states or something if the sort.

As for his techniques, 'mastery' of a skill is going to take more than just 4 skill points. Insulation is the only one that comes close to bring the proper price, but for that you'll need to decide where your immunities lie instead of running into heat, cold, and electricity. If you want insulation to be that strong you could make it into a hatsu, by again, remember you'll need a condition.
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Asylum
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Prone to Madness

Acrobatic Mastery, Chemistry Mastery, Hearing: Make these rank 8.

Athletic Mastery and the Art of Killing:
I'm not willing to approve these as they are. The former basically seems to only says that he's good at physical activities and can break records when performing them when those should be feats accomplished through stats and not techniques (Acrobatic Mastery has the same problem, at least where its not related to flexibility).

As for the latter, its fine if you make some form of martial art with a focus on fatal moves and explain how it works, but you can't just make a technique that just says he's good at killing people and nothing else. For starters, no one will want to fight your character if you're describing every single chop or punch he throws as a certain kill move when realistically no one would be able to kill other chars near their level with relative ease.
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theonewhowins
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Alright, This should roughly cover it then. I've edited my stats, techniques, hatsu abilities, and hatsu affinity.
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Paradox
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approved 1/2
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Ken sweatshirt
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Everyone's always telling you to be humble. When was the last time someone told you to be great?

Seems good.

Approved
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