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[Approved] Fuma Abel[Archived]; Ready for Review
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Topic Started: Aug 13 2014, 08:35 PM (564 Views)
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Superguest
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Aug 13 2014, 08:35 PM
Post #1
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× General Information
Name: Fuma Abel Gender: Male Age: 27 Height: 6'1" Weight: 175 lbs. Species: Human Appearance: Abel is a slender man of wiry build. Having never really focused on strengthening his body or having the means to eat properly when he was a child he has grown to have a rather slim body. Still Fuma does work out regularly in order to maintain a semblance of proper diet and exercise. Because of such his muscle tone shows that he is above average in a lot of areas. Mainly his leg muscles seem particularly well defined in comparison to his arms showing a preference of running in his routine over lifting weights. This fact though is often hidden behind his clothes as his muscles aren't defined enough to be easily noticeable through the clothing.
Abel is largely clean shaven rarely allowing even a stubble to grow on his face. His hair has been left to grow long enough that long bangs have grown down to his chin framing his face. The back of his hair is cut just short of the nape of the neck allowing for the front portion of hair to fall further and straighter than the rear. His hair is a dark silver hue one of his more physically noticeable traits. Despite living a rather tough and dangerous life within a crime syndicate Abel has really only managed to attain one noticeable scar. His near-death baptism has left him with a particularly vicious looking scar on the right side of his face running just down his lips. The scar is a shadow of the physical abuse he took at the time, but still a permanent reminder of what was necessary for him to attain Nen.
Having once worked for a crime family Abel has continued wearing the general attire favored by most higher ranking members of such an organization. The assassin typically wears a black suit and tie with a white button down shirt underneath the jacket. The suits are tailored and cut to fit his form perfectly. The fabric used isn't as expensive and lush as some of the more prominent suits are made from, but it displays a certain modicum of wealth not normally possible for one who was raised in the slums. Even if the assassin were thrown into pitch battle he would still prefer his expensive loafers and tie over anything that might be more appropriate given the circumstances. It is a matter of pride that he look his best even in the heat of battle and he rarely is seen outside this uniform.
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Profession: Assassin Reputation: 7 (Rank H)
Background Birthday: July 7 Personality: Abel has had a rough life and that life has helped to shape his personality. His time on the streets has forced him to gain a considerable amount of street smarts, but unfortunately as he has never really ever had any formal education he isn't overly intelligent. He doesn't have a big vocabulary or have much of a grasp over topics that would require a more learned individual to understand. To make matters worse he often attempts to cover up this weakness by needlessly getting angry when others attempt to do so. From his point of view they are doing so to purposefully make him look stupid. Thankfully, despite having a quick temper he has always been quick to get over his anger allowing situations to not always dissolve into a fight so long as Abel is given enough time to cool his head. Abel can be a tad impatient, that impatience being the root cause for his departure from organized crime. He can be a bit like an petulant child when it comes to getting what he wants and he rarely takes the time to think over all the reasons why he should be patient and wait before getting those things. If it suits his needs or for whatever reason someone manages to convince him otherwise he has enough self control to squash his impatience, but he typically indulges it otherwise. One of the few times he controls that side of him is when he is hunting an individual. Having once been a trained assassin for a small mob family Abel gained a taste for stalking humans and then ending their lives. His impatience is part of why he enjoyed the work so much. When it comes to killing others he is methodical often watching the victim for days before making any plans at all let alone moving against them. In that time his impatience wars with his need to stalk and learn about his prey. However, that growing agitation of impatience only proves to heighten the satisfaction of the kill as all his patience and watching proves to crucially aid him in his success. Abel has grown largely bored with the world having found that only stalking and killing others can satisfy him. It is difficult for him to mimic the same pleasure he gets from a successful hunt since his Nen and abilities largely allows him to divulge in whatever vices or desires he likes without much in the way of immediate consequences. Since there is the real immediate threat of death when tracking a strong opponent it forces Abel to adjust and be patient. It is why he has now become attracted to the idea of the sort of prey who can use Nen. This may in turn cause him to seek out the Hunter Association. Although he holds no particular love or hatred for the Hunters Association one thing is for certain, it contains powerful individuals. With new inductees every year and countless members Abel will have a plethora of targets to chose from. For now his determination to continue meeting those challenges is what spurs him to continue getting stronger and honing his abilities so that he may take on even deadlier opponents. Origin: Abel was born to an impoverished family in the slums of Kal-Shyn. Unable to find proper jobs or wages to free them from poverty Abel was raised watching wealthy tourists visit the city only to flash the wealth and status he would never have and then leave. His poor house life and the resentment he held towards those with money and power would eventually lead him to crime in those early years. At first his crimes were rather low key. He picked a few pockets where he could and stole a few trinkets from markets with kiosks. Eventually his exploits would be noticed by the local crime syndicate and finding some potential in him he was recruited to run numbers and perform other menial tasks. The syndicate would prove to be a much better family than his own in the following years. They taught Abel how to survive in Kal-Shyn, how to become more than what he had been born into. What had been only petty crimes grew into more serious offenses as he grew older and tougher. Instead of simply picking a pocket he now waited in back alleys to mug innocent bystanders who ventured down the wrong path. He was an impatient young man always seeking more from his position, always willing to perform decisive action to get what he wanted. The transition from petty crook to paid muscle for the syndicate was inevitable. As muscle for the crime family Abel put his merciless attitude to good use. Although he wasn't necessarily stronger or faster than your average person he was accurate enough with a gun to take a life and willing to do so without a moment's hesitation. This ruthlessness made him a fine man for dirty business. However, his penchant for violence and the fact that he could quickly rise to anger also made it almost impossible for him to naturally raise any further in the organization. He simply couldn't be trusted with any jobs of more delicate nature. So as Abel once more became restlessness with his role in the organization he once more was presented with opportunity. Although most members were largely incapable of using it there were a few elite of the family who had long since discovered Nen. For most crime syndicates it had become a necessity of business to ensure any self respecting family had a few Nen users on the payroll. Abel's particular crime family had a more blunt approach to cultivating Nen users than others had. Rather than spend all those long years gradually awakening and training members to use Nen periodical bouts were held in which any member who wished to prove their worth and take their chances could challenge one of the Nen users to a fight and with luck survive a usually brutal baptism. Many died unable to deal with having their Nen forcibly awakened while many more were simply found unworthy and killed outright during the fight. With no other way to continue rising in the family and presented with the real chance of power Abel took his chances with baptism. His fight was more of a massacre than anything else, but thankfully he had somehow managed to survive it. Although it took him months afterwards to heal neither the forced opening of his nodes or the damage he took from the fight had left any permanent damage. as Abel's body healed he was able to use that time to begin discovering and practicing the basic abilities of Nen. His practice not only allowed his body to heal more swiftly, but gave him the foundation he would need to take those lessons further without the guide of a teacher. When his body had fully recovered he used his newly acquired Nen to rise once more in the crime syndicate becoming a hitman for the family. His Nen certainly made him a more efficient killer and as time went on he found ways to implement the more advanced abilities of Nen. However, he found that the basic abilities were lacking. With his newly acquired Gyo he was able to see what he was missing by watching others challenge the elite in hopes of surviving baptism. He witnessed abilities completely unique and unlike any of the basic abilities that had seemed universal to all Nen users. In time he learned these abilities were called Hatsu and he sought to create his own. Having discovered what Hatsu was and having cultivated the basic principles on his own the syndicate decided to aid his efforts educating him on the affinities of Nen and helping him to realize his own, Emission. Once Abel had gained all the pieces of information he needed he began to create his own Hatsu. It took time to create, but finally Abel managed to make something that fit into his own character. Target Practice proved to be a deadly and efficient Hatsu for a hitman. Nen couldn't be seen by your average bystander and thus his assassinations not only were difficult to stop, but also difficult to investigate without the help of Nen. However, once more Abel grew complacent. Although the family had many enemies they refused to send Abel against anyone who could use Nen or was suspected of having bodyguards capable of such. Frustrated about being coddled Abel grew to resent the syndicate that had taken him in. They had trained him to be a killer and he had grown to enjoy it. He was largely an impatient man and having to stalk and kill his prey had been a true test for him. Every success held its own euphoric reward and the more difficult the prey the better the reward. With the family no longer providing him with the challenges he desired he began to look outside it. It was during this time that he first heard rumors of the Hunter Association and groups of individuals who collectively used Nen. Abel had never met a Hunter himself, but he had heard from the Elite in family that they all had Nen to some degree. Hunters who tested themselves against every manner of beast and man would no doubt provide Abel with an abundance of challenges. So without much thought of the consequences or the perceived circumstances surrounding it Abel faked his own death to ensure the family would not go looking for him. With that settled he set out chasing rumors of opponents who possessed Nen, hoping to find strengthen his body and meet these dangerous challenges outside his own criminal family. History:
Backpack Jenni: 500,000 Equipment: Laptop, Mobile Phone, Survival Kit Arsenal: Wrist Guards with metal plating along the outside to help protect against blade weapons.
× Physical Statistics
[0/3] [0/53] Aura: 20 Might: 5 Agility: 10 Endurance: 9 Accuracy: 9
× Nen Techniques
Basic Nen Techniques
Hatsu Affinity: Emission
[5/6] [0/1]
Hatsu Theme: Target Practice General Hatsu Description: As a hired gun for a crime syndicate Abel always had a certain appreciation for the art of killing someone at a range. He especially enjoyed doing so without that person ever realizing what was happening until it was too late. As such it felt only natural for him to develop a Hatsu which allowed him to most easily accomplish this without the need for even a gun. Thus what Abel created was a Hatsu that created a homing beacon that served to draw in any Emission attack he launched. For now he uses his own hand to mimic a gun firing out Emission attacks from his finger. His ultimate goal is for each finger to represent their own form of Emission attack providing him a deadly arsenal to enact his target practice. General Hatsu Conditions:
- Requires use of hands to mimic gun and to begin Bull's-Eye.
Hatsu Abilities Hatsu Name: Bulls-Eye Type: Supportive Hatsu Category: Emission Hatsu Rank: Rank 4 Description: By touching something and concentrating one's Nen the user creates a bulls-eye on the target wherever the user was touching. The bulls-eye is no larger than a fist and is red. Conditions: - Must physically touch target to enact ability
- Must remain within En Range for ability to remain active
- May only have 1 target effected with ability at any given time
- User must say activation phrase, "Target Sighted," to enact ability
Range: En Range Effect: This bulls-eye is created completely from Nen and thus cannot be seen by anyone not possessing Nen. By itself the bulls-eye does nothing. However, when the user fires an Emission attack said Emission attack will lock onto the bulls-eye and depending on the bullet will home in on the target alongside other various effects. The bullet will always aim for the exact position of the target, the diameter of the bulls-eye nothing larger, only activating elsewhere if something is placed in the direct path of it and the target. When touching the target the user must say, "Target Sighted," in order to create bulls-eye. The user can also remove the bulls-eye by saying, "Target Lost," at any time. The bulls-eye can only ever be placed on one individual at a time and if a new target is created the old bulls-eye will immediately disappear. The bulls-eye will also vanish if the target dies/is destroyed, if someone with a Nen-Removing ability rids the target of it, or if the user dies. There is one other condition which allows the target to remove bulls-eye without the help of Nen-Removal, the compliance/death of the user, or their own death. If the target touches the user's body exactly where the bulls-eye is placed on his own body it will also rid himself of the bulls-eye. Meaning if the user places bulls-eye on the left back shoulder blade of a target then so long as the user touches the left back shoulder blade of the user in the exact location their bulls-eye will be dismissed. The victim is further provided a clue to this release method by an identical bulls-eye in the same location on the user. The bulls-eye on the user provides no additional effects beyond being a method of inadvertently alerting the victim where he must touch to release the Hatsu. It is only active within the user's En Range, outside of that the bulls-eye goes inert. If the target falls back within the user's En range the bulls-eye will once more become active. If the target moves out of range after any Emission attack is made said Emission attack will continue moving in whatever projected path they were left set at unless the target falls back into range at which point the Emission attack will fix its course to lock back on to the target. While in range the user can use bulls-eye to get a general idea of which direction the target is in from their position although they will get no sense of distance or elevation based on this sense. If the target is touched by the user while they are in a state of Zetsu than the bulls-eye receives a special attribute. The bulls-eye will enter a special state of In requiring the use of Gyo or En to notice it. However, once someone does notice it with Gyo or En, regardless of whether the target was the one who noticed it, then it will immediately become visible to all who possess Nen. The bulls-eye will also leave this special state of In if it becomes inert or immediately after the first Emission attack is made and locks onto it. Cooldown: 3 Post Cooldown From Time Of Placement Hatsu Name: Concentrated Fire Type: Offensive Hatsu Category: Emission Hatsu Rank: Rank 3 Description: By concentrating Nen into the user's finger a ball of aura can be fired from said fingertip. Conditions: - Requires a finger gun with index finger as barrel and thumb as hammer.
- Requires verbal command, "Pew Pew," with each firing.
- May only fire 1/4 Aura times per post
- Can Only Fire With Lethal Intent
Range: Fixed range of Bull's-Eye or when Bull's-Eye is not activated simple ballistics range Effect: If coupled with Bulls-Eye this bullet of aura will travel in the straightest path to reach said target. If Bulls-Eye is not activated then the bullet will only be fired in whatever direction the finger is pointed at and follows the same physics applied to normal ballistics. The strength of Nen infused in the bullet can affect both power and size of bullet, though unless done otherwise all bullets will be the size and shape of your ordinary magnum round. All bullets will instantly disperse once contact with a physical object is made and will release all the energy stored within the bullet instantaneously. These rounds can be fired as quickly as it takes for the user to cock and release his thumb, mimicking the release of a hammer on a gun as it fires. Concentrated Fire has as much power and lethality as a handgun even against a Nen User. However, techniques like Gyo or Ken will reduce the amount of damage received on impact. Cooldown: 1/4 Aura per post
× Non-Nen Techniques
[16/17]Techniques Technique Name: Urban Hunting Technique Category: Stalking/Tracking Type: Supportive Range: 1-20 Meters Technique Rank: 4 Description: Growing up in a tourist city Abel has gained a certain comfort around the sort of body traffic one can see in a more crowded city. In fact his comfort in such conditions has spawned unique talents. When it came to his job sometimes it helped to learn the routine of a person, to follow them and learn his target before he made a move. As such he has become adept at following individuals in urban settings. Despite the numbers of moving bodies Abel has gained a keen sense for keeping track of a single individual within a crowd and being able to remain on their tail even as people and sounds work all around him to distract him. So long as the individual remains within 20 meters and no immediate distractions beyond the norm force him to break his concentration he can follow someone even if visual contact is broken for a few seconds.
Technique Name: Concrete Jungle Stealth Technique Category: Stealth Type: Supportive Range: 10+ Meters Technique Rank: 4 Description: Growing up in a tourist city Abel has gained a certain comfort around the sort of body traffic one can see in a more crowded city. In fact his comfort in such conditions has spawned unique talents. One such talent has been to blend into the crowd and hide himself among the urban backdrop and people. By creating at least 10 meters of distance between him and someone else Abel can successfully use his comfort with crowds and dark alleyways to slip from their notice and hide. The range must be consistently kept to remain from notice and any sudden or obvious movement/actions is counterproductive to the technique.
Technique Name: Turtle Shell Technique Category: Martial Arts Type: Defensive Range: Personal Technique Rank: 4 Description: A basic martial arts technique created during his time as a hired gun. As mostly a ranged fighter Abel has been forced to adapt to enemies attempting to move within close range to become more effective. Since he is not for much physical combat Abel created an easy technique to help protect his vitals and help cushion some of the force behind a blow. When it becomes obvious that Abel has no way to dodge an attack he will curl his body up drawing in his arms and possibly his legs in order to create a buffer between his more vital areas and the attacker. It provides little in the way of evasion, but maximizes on protecting Abel until he has a chance to maneuver out of the dangerous situation.
Technique Name: Flurry Strike Technique Category: Martial Arts Type: Offensive Range: 3 Meters Technique Rank: 4 Description: A basic martial arts technique created during his time as a hired gun. As mostly a ranged fighter Abel has been forced to adapt to enemies attempting to move within close range to become more effective. As Abel is not a powerhouse his major concern in close range combat is landing clean hits rather than powerful strikes. In order to do so Abel quickly steps in for this technique attempting to move within the guard of his target and then lashes out with several rapid punches. The punches themselves do not do much in terms of physical power, but are meant to overwhelm the target's guard and ideally land a few clean hits.
Edited by Asylum, Aug 23 2014, 11:36 AM.
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Kain
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Aug 16 2014, 02:45 PM
Post #2
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Tiger Lord aka Star Lord aka Vigo aka Chocolate Thunder
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For Bull's Eye:
Does the target you placed disappear when its hit by your aura? or is it like a continuous thing?
Also, when your aura homes in on it, does it only strike the place where the target is? (Ex: Target is placed on victim's face, does the aura only aim at the face or does it expand to the entire body?)
Make Cooldown 3 also, please.
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Concentrated Fire:
Could you compare the strength of the bullet to something? Because, I'm seeing it as an extension of your might x aura stat.
Also, there needs to be some way to gauge just how long you could continue to fire before exhausting yourself. This'll need to be somehow tied in with your aura stat I believe.
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Superguest
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Aug 16 2014, 06:34 PM
Post #3
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Bull's Eye Answers:
It does not disappear if an attack successfully makes contact with the bulls eye. It remains until one of the conditions mentioned for release from it are met.
It only aims for the exact location of the target. So yes it would aim for the face in your example. However, just a reminder that it does take the straightest path. So if the target had his back turned to Abel it would attempt to hit the target through the back of their head. I edited it to make that clear for future convenience.
Cooldown changed.
Concentrated Fire Answers:
See the strength of the bullet is where I am confused. I certainly wouldn't mind it being an extension of might x aura like you suggested. However, I was told by Paradox and Kenichi on the C-Box that power was largely associated with conditions and that at the time mine would be predominantly weaker, as it only had 1. Now its very possible that they were including might x aura (or either or) in their equation and just hadn't told me, but frankly I'm still a little hazy on what would be more appropriate a gauge. In either case I increased the Condition count by 3. If that has any real effect on my Hatsu would be good to know for future reference. If not then Might x Aura would be more than an appropriate judge of power. I'll be happy to edit it in either case based on your reply.
Just added this as a condition, placed it under cooldown as well. I'm still really new to the system so wasn't sure what would be considered appropriate. For now I placed it at 1/4 my Aura stat per post. However, if you think that it is too high or if anything I could get away with more I'd be open to your input.
Thank you for your review and time.
EDIT: There was talk on the C-Box of using my En Range rather than the 20 meters described in bulls-eye. Seemed as if the general consensus was that it would be better to use that then a fixed range. Just wandering if that would indeed be ok to alter and exactly what was the equation on that again? If I remember correctly it was 3/2 Aura.
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Superguest
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Aug 17 2014, 04:43 PM
Post #4
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Alright as discussed in the C-box all changes should be made.
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הּKen sweatshirt
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Aug 17 2014, 05:03 PM
Post #5
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Everyone's always telling you to be humble. When was the last time someone told you to be great?
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1/2 approved.
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:)Westborn
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Aug 18 2014, 11:09 AM
Post #6
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The Most Responsible Adult in your Living Room
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So, this is going to sound kind of shitty on my end, but I'm not cool with Bulls-Eye as it is. Its a auto-hit ability, which are basically bull shit and really frustrating for all parties to deal with, and all in all a pretty big nope.
I'm going to throw this out and see what the other mods have to say, and yourself think, but I'd rather have it say that instead of just working as a beacon the bulls-eye works by having your emission abilities pull at each other. Once the nen shot was fired, the user would feel a slight tug as the bullet moved towards that point. It would still work as a homing beacon, but it would also give limited warming and direction to the target.
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Superguest
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Aug 18 2014, 11:40 AM
Post #7
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We discussed this a little in the C-box. You said you still planned to think over the Hatsu any way, but just for the sake of fairness and because I do believe you made a valid point I edited Bulls-eye further so that it could aid the victim in discovering a way of escaping the Hatsu. As I mentioned in the C-box an identical bulls-eye will now appear in the same location on the user's body as a way to alert the victim exactly where they must touch to free themselves of the Hatsu without having to guess the location.
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הּKen sweatshirt
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Aug 18 2014, 02:24 PM
Post #8
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Everyone's always telling you to be humble. When was the last time someone told you to be great?
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I don't see how it would be an auto hit attack, that would be like saying that all homing techniques are auto hit.
Anyway, now I think about it, add an actual cooldown to concentrated fire
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Superguest
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Aug 18 2014, 02:39 PM
Post #9
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I don't see how concentrated fire needs a cooldown. It already has a limited amount of rounds per post. We have seen several similar types of Hatsu that were not only stronger, but in some cases could be used to even a greater extent. Razor and Franklin didn't seem to need any break between uses. The only difference is this one happens to lock on when bull's eye is in use, but the use of bull's eye isn't required. Which means normally it is just your basic ball of aura. If it becomes obvious that multiple staff members agree on the cooldown I'll look into it, but as its essentially his only form of attack, since most of his NN techs are less combat oriented in favoring of aiding his Hatsu, it leaves a very large gap in his abilities.
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Asylum
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Aug 19 2014, 10:11 PM
Post #10
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Prone to Madness
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I'll agree with West that auto-hitting abilities are no good, but in cases like this where a character must mark their target as a condition first I'm alright with that. Basically, the attack itself might be a guaranteed hit, but the condition he must meet to set it up is not. I think Super has done a good job of balancing this aspect.
However, are you certain that you only want it to be effective within en range? For abilities like Concentrated Fire I can understand that, but I also see this being useful in other ways such as tracking with a separate hatsu. I also believe bullseye is fine as a rank 4; you have a lot of description but I don't think simply placing a mark on its own is enough to increase it to 3. Otherwise, I'm willing to 1/2 this.
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