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[Approved] Fuma Abel[Archived]; Ready for Review
Topic Started: Aug 13 2014, 08:35 PM (566 Views)
Superguest
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× General Information

Name: Fuma Abel
Gender: Male
Age: 27
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 175 lbs.
Species: Human
Appearance: Abel is a slender man of wiry build. Having never really focused on strengthening his body or having the means to eat properly when he was a child he has grown to have a rather slim body. Still Fuma does work out regularly in order to maintain a semblance of proper diet and exercise. Because of such his muscle tone shows that he is above average in a lot of areas. Mainly his leg muscles seem particularly well defined in comparison to his arms showing a preference of running in his routine over lifting weights. This fact though is often hidden behind his clothes as his muscles aren't defined enough to be easily noticeable through the clothing.

Abel is largely clean shaven rarely allowing even a stubble to grow on his face. His hair has been left to grow long enough that long bangs have grown down to his chin framing his face. The back of his hair is cut just short of the nape of the neck allowing for the front portion of hair to fall further and straighter than the rear. His hair is a dark silver hue one of his more physically noticeable traits. Despite living a rather tough and dangerous life within a crime syndicate Abel has really only managed to attain one noticeable scar. His near-death baptism has left him with a particularly vicious looking scar on the right side of his face running just down his lips. The scar is a shadow of the physical abuse he took at the time, but still a permanent reminder of what was necessary for him to attain Nen.

Having once worked for a crime family Abel has continued wearing the general attire favored by most higher ranking members of such an organization. The assassin typically wears a black suit and tie with a white button down shirt underneath the jacket. The suits are tailored and cut to fit his form perfectly. The fabric used isn't as expensive and lush as some of the more prominent suits are made from, but it displays a certain modicum of wealth not normally possible for one who was raised in the slums. Even if the assassin were thrown into pitch battle he would still prefer his expensive loafers and tie over anything that might be more appropriate given the circumstances. It is a matter of pride that he look his best even in the heat of battle and he rarely is seen outside this uniform.

Image


Profession: Assassin
Reputation: 7 (Rank H)
Background

Backpack


× Physical Statistics

[0/3]
[0/53]

Aura: 20
Might: 5
Agility: 10
Endurance: 9
Accuracy: 9

× Nen Techniques

Basic Nen Techniques

Hatsu Affinity: Emission


[5/6]
[0/1]


Hatsu Theme: Target Practice
General Hatsu Description: As a hired gun for a crime syndicate Abel always had a certain appreciation for the art of killing someone at a range. He especially enjoyed doing so without that person ever realizing what was happening until it was too late. As such it felt only natural for him to develop a Hatsu which allowed him to most easily accomplish this without the need for even a gun. Thus what Abel created was a Hatsu that created a homing beacon that served to draw in any Emission attack he launched. For now he uses his own hand to mimic a gun firing out Emission attacks from his finger. His ultimate goal is for each finger to represent their own form of Emission attack providing him a deadly arsenal to enact his target practice.
General Hatsu Conditions:
  • Requires use of hands to mimic gun and to begin Bull's-Eye.


Hatsu Abilities


× Non-Nen Techniques

[16/17]
Techniques

Edited by Asylum, Aug 23 2014, 11:36 AM.
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Kain
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Tiger Lord aka Star Lord aka Vigo aka Chocolate Thunder

For Bull's Eye:

Does the target you placed disappear when its hit by your aura? or is it like a continuous thing?

Also, when your aura homes in on it, does it only strike the place where the target is? (Ex: Target is placed on victim's face, does the aura only aim at the face or does it expand to the entire body?)

Make Cooldown 3 also, please.

-----

Concentrated Fire:

Could you compare the strength of the bullet to something? Because, I'm seeing it as an extension of your might x aura stat.

Also, there needs to be some way to gauge just how long you could continue to fire before exhausting yourself. This'll need to be somehow tied in with your aura stat I believe.

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Superguest
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Bull's Eye Answers:

It does not disappear if an attack successfully makes contact with the bulls eye. It remains until one of the conditions mentioned for release from it are met.

It only aims for the exact location of the target. So yes it would aim for the face in your example. However, just a reminder that it does take the straightest path. So if the target had his back turned to Abel it would attempt to hit the target through the back of their head. I edited it to make that clear for future convenience.

Cooldown changed.

Concentrated Fire Answers:

See the strength of the bullet is where I am confused. I certainly wouldn't mind it being an extension of might x aura like you suggested. However, I was told by Paradox and Kenichi on the C-Box that power was largely associated with conditions and that at the time mine would be predominantly weaker, as it only had 1. Now its very possible that they were including might x aura (or either or) in their equation and just hadn't told me, but frankly I'm still a little hazy on what would be more appropriate a gauge. In either case I increased the Condition count by 3. If that has any real effect on my Hatsu would be good to know for future reference. If not then Might x Aura would be more than an appropriate judge of power. I'll be happy to edit it in either case based on your reply.

Just added this as a condition, placed it under cooldown as well. I'm still really new to the system so wasn't sure what would be considered appropriate. For now I placed it at 1/4 my Aura stat per post. However, if you think that it is too high or if anything I could get away with more I'd be open to your input.

Thank you for your review and time.

EDIT: There was talk on the C-Box of using my En Range rather than the 20 meters described in bulls-eye. Seemed as if the general consensus was that it would be better to use that then a fixed range. Just wandering if that would indeed be ok to alter and exactly what was the equation on that again? If I remember correctly it was 3/2 Aura.
Edited by Superguest, Aug 16 2014, 06:41 PM.
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Superguest
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Alright as discussed in the C-box all changes should be made.
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Ken sweatshirt
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Everyone's always telling you to be humble. When was the last time someone told you to be great?

1/2 approved.
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:)Westborn
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The Most Responsible Adult in your Living Room

So, this is going to sound kind of shitty on my end, but I'm not cool with Bulls-Eye as it is. Its a auto-hit ability, which are basically bull shit and really frustrating for all parties to deal with, and all in all a pretty big nope.

I'm going to throw this out and see what the other mods have to say, and yourself think, but I'd rather have it say that instead of just working as a beacon the bulls-eye works by having your emission abilities pull at each other. Once the nen shot was fired, the user would feel a slight tug as the bullet moved towards that point. It would still work as a homing beacon, but it would also give limited warming and direction to the target.
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Superguest
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We discussed this a little in the C-box. You said you still planned to think over the Hatsu any way, but just for the sake of fairness and because I do believe you made a valid point I edited Bulls-eye further so that it could aid the victim in discovering a way of escaping the Hatsu. As I mentioned in the C-box an identical bulls-eye will now appear in the same location on the user's body as a way to alert the victim exactly where they must touch to free themselves of the Hatsu without having to guess the location.
Edited by Superguest, Aug 18 2014, 12:40 PM.
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Ken sweatshirt
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Everyone's always telling you to be humble. When was the last time someone told you to be great?

I don't see how it would be an auto hit attack, that would be like saying that all homing techniques are auto hit.

Anyway, now I think about it, add an actual cooldown to concentrated fire
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Superguest
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I don't see how concentrated fire needs a cooldown. It already has a limited amount of rounds per post. We have seen several similar types of Hatsu that were not only stronger, but in some cases could be used to even a greater extent. Razor and Franklin didn't seem to need any break between uses. The only difference is this one happens to lock on when bull's eye is in use, but the use of bull's eye isn't required. Which means normally it is just your basic ball of aura. If it becomes obvious that multiple staff members agree on the cooldown I'll look into it, but as its essentially his only form of attack, since most of his NN techs are less combat oriented in favoring of aiding his Hatsu, it leaves a very large gap in his abilities.
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Asylum
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Prone to Madness

I'll agree with West that auto-hitting abilities are no good, but in cases like this where a character must mark their target as a condition first I'm alright with that. Basically, the attack itself might be a guaranteed hit, but the condition he must meet to set it up is not. I think Super has done a good job of balancing this aspect.

However, are you certain that you only want it to be effective within en range? For abilities like Concentrated Fire I can understand that, but I also see this being useful in other ways such as tracking with a separate hatsu. I also believe bullseye is fine as a rank 4; you have a lot of description but I don't think simply placing a mark on its own is enough to increase it to 3. Otherwise, I'm willing to 1/2 this.
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