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| [Approved] Law[Archived] | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 4 2014, 09:44 AM (615 Views) | |
| Zavy-Sama | Jun 4 2014, 09:44 AM Post #1 |
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× General Information Name:Law Gender:Male Age:18 Height:6'2 Weight:180 Species:Human Appearance: Law has shaggy white and white eyes to match. He wears a dog tag that has 'LAW' written on it in big print. Law usually wears a black t-shirt, a black short pants and black and white tennis shoes. He is muscular and has well defined muscles. If he wants to wear formal clothes he usually jst puts a coat over his shirt and wear long pants. Based Off This Profession:Hunter Applicant Reputation: 0 (Rank H) Background Backpack × Physical Statistics [0/0] [50/50] Aura:11 Might:12 Agility:10 Endurance:9 Accuracy:8 × Nen Techniques Basic Nen Techniques Hatsu Affinity:Manipulation [6/6] [0/0] Hatsu Theme:Gravity General Hatsu Description: This grants the user to control gravity in an area, shifting the gravity to another direction and manipulating animate and non-animate objects. General Hatsu Conditions: Every object affected by the user's ability has to be touched by his Nen first. Once they are touched by his Nen they can be manipulated by his ability until he cancels his ability or gets out of range of his Nen. If a manipulator is affected they can use Zetsu to keep Law's Nen from affecting them Hatsu Abilities × Non-Nen Techniques [12/16] Techniques
Edited by Zavy-Sama, Jun 10 2014, 03:27 AM.
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| Zavy-Sama | Jun 4 2014, 09:46 AM Post #2 |
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Not Sure About Alot Of Things, Let Me Know If iLeft Something Out Or Anything. Also iGot A Little Lazy With The History >.< Please Excuse That Lol |
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| הּKen sweatshirt | Jun 4 2014, 10:00 AM Post #3 |
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Everyone's always telling you to be humble. When was the last time someone told you to be great?
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Your background should be in Origins, not in history. History is for the threads you've done. Psych up's rank is too low, rank 1 is free, for things normal humans could do easily and doesn't really have a benefit or advantage. |
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| Zavy-Sama | Jun 4 2014, 10:16 AM Post #4 |
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Edited ... Changed Psych Up To Rank 4 |
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| הּKen sweatshirt | Jun 4 2014, 10:59 AM Post #5 |
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Everyone's always telling you to be humble. When was the last time someone told you to be great?
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Hmm. I don't understand your first hatsu very well,. Does it allow him to change gravity into his en range? Because that wouldn't be R4. Also, the conditions aren't good enough in both hatsu's. This site is on 'focused' on conditions, the more conditions you have, the stronger or more versatile the hatsu. With more conditions, you can achieve more, and in the same way you need more if you want to change gravity. |
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| Zavy-Sama | Jun 4 2014, 12:03 PM Post #6 |
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Edited, Added Some More Conditions And Clarified The Ability More. The Field Generated Is Jst A Visual Range (For Those Who Can See And Feel Nen) Nothing More. iThought The Range Was Equivalent To Your En Range So iUsed En But iChanged It To Nen. |
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| הּKen sweatshirt | Jun 4 2014, 12:17 PM Post #7 |
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Everyone's always telling you to be humble. When was the last time someone told you to be great?
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First hatsu is still R3. The range is also equivalent to your En range, that has nothing to do with why it's R3. It's R3 because controlling gravity is a very strong and versatile thing that will be higher leveled in most aspects regardless. Also 100x is too much, especially for a starting character. You can upgrade it later, for now, start at ten, also give it a way to break through. For example, another member with a similar hatsu, had it so that you could break through it if your might is higher than his aura stat. You might as well add the third and the second one together, because the only difference is the targets. One targets objects, the other one humans, might as well make the human one target both objects and humans. |
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| Zavy-Sama | Jun 4 2014, 01:08 PM Post #8 |
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Edited, Added The Breakthrough To The General Hatsu Description, Changed the First Hatsu And Combined The Second And Third. Can The Cooldown Be Different For The Second One? 5 Post Seems Like A Mightly Long Wait If He Is Just Making A Chair Or A Box Float ... |
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| הּKen sweatshirt | Jun 4 2014, 01:21 PM Post #9 |
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Everyone's always telling you to be humble. When was the last time someone told you to be great?
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Make it so that you can manipulate two objects(You can upgrade later) before a cooldown of 2 posts starts. < This is only for the objects. Make the range of the nen field the same as your En. The Gravity Chamber condition where they must be touched by his nen is invalid, because it automatically touches them upon activation. Replace it with another condition, unless you want it in the way that you literally need to touch them with your aura, like a Ren tap, before even being able to activate it. |
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| Zavy-Sama | Jun 4 2014, 02:09 PM Post #10 |
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Edited, Added The Cooldown To The Second Hatsu And Replaced The Condition Even Tho iThink Losing An Entire Sense Is Enough ... |
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7:50 AM Jul 11