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| [Approved] Tobi Juhani [Ready for review][Archived] | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 5 2014, 01:55 AM (545 Views) | |
| Mr.Smug | Jan 5 2014, 01:55 AM Post #1 |
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× General Information Name: Tobi Juhani Gender: Male Age: 13 Height: 5'1 ft Weight: 43 kg Species: Human Appearance: Juhani is a rather short young man, he has a rather slim but muscular body build and medium length messy blonde hair. His eyes are a gray-blue color and he wears a red newsboy cap, a buttoned white shirt, black slacks with suspenders, black leather shoes and a red bow tie at most times. Image Profession: Grade 5 Hunter Applicant Reputation: 0 (Rank H) Background Backpack × Physical Statistics [0/0] [0/50] Aura: 9 Might: 11 Agility: 11 Endurance: 11 Accuracy: 8 × Nen Techniques Basic Nen Techniques Hatsu Affinity: Enhancer [3/6] [0/0] Hatsu Theme: Crimson Hound General Hatsu Description: Crimson Hound allows its user to use their nen to enhance their own physical strength according to the bleeding occurring on the people around himself. The ability at more advanced stages also allows him to enhance the flow of blood that he comes in contact with to either increase its volume or speed of flow. General Hatsu Conditions: In order for any of Crimson hounds abilities to work it is required that Juhani must first himself be bleeding. Hatsu Techniques × Non-Nen Techniques [11/16] Techniques
Edited by Mr.Smug, Jan 7 2014, 12:26 AM.
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| Asylum | Jan 5 2014, 03:04 AM Post #2 |
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Prone to Madness
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Does it apply to every single stat at once except aura? The buff will need to be in SP rather than percent, and there will need to be a cap. Also, the conditions are really weak for the benefit it grants. I would recommend that instead of just needing to be bleeding, you would need to actually cut some sort of specific symbol into the opponent's skin for it to take effect; or something about as difficult to accomplish as that. |
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| Mr.Smug | Jan 6 2014, 08:33 AM Post #3 |
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Le Bump |
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| Kain | Jan 6 2014, 10:28 AM Post #4 |
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Tiger Lord aka Star Lord aka Vigo aka Chocolate Thunder
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You can make Hemorrhage Rank 5 if it only places a symbol on your target. |
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| Mr.Smug | Jan 6 2014, 11:00 AM Post #5 |
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Do you mean if I remove the ability for it to prevent blood clotting it can be ranked 5 or that I can simply make it rank 5? |
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| Kain | Jan 6 2014, 11:15 AM Post #6 |
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Tiger Lord aka Star Lord aka Vigo aka Chocolate Thunder
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Scratch that, nvm, it would have to be Rank 4 sorry about that. Edited by Kain, Jan 6 2014, 01:34 PM.
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| Kain | Jan 6 2014, 01:34 PM Post #7 |
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Tiger Lord aka Star Lord aka Vigo aka Chocolate Thunder
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Bump, for your review :/ |
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| Asylum | Jan 6 2014, 02:13 PM Post #8 |
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Prone to Madness
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200 meters is pretty huge, reduce it to like 50 or so. Also, can he use it on things like animals too instead of just people? If so, I would halve the max number of targets to 5. |
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| Mr.Smug | Jan 6 2014, 02:19 PM Post #9 |
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Ok then, edited. and no it doesnt affect puny little animals.
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| Asylum | Jan 6 2014, 03:28 PM Post #10 |
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Prone to Madness
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So, that means it doesn't work on animals at all? Ok. [50/50] should be [0/50]. You also forgot to change the effect to 50 meters as well. If all it does is make a symbol and apply a minor poison, then I'll accept Hemorrhage as r5. |
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12:09 PM Jul 11