|
[Approved] [COMPLETED] Aradjinn Yeager[Archived]
|
|
Topic Started: Jan 5 2014, 01:27 AM (540 Views)
|
|
Jon The GOAT
|
Jan 5 2014, 01:27 AM
Post #1
|
- Posts:
- 40
- Group:
- Member
- Member
- #468
- Joined:
- Jan 1, 2014
|
× General Information
Name: Aradjinn Yaeger Gender: Male Age: 12 Years Old Height: 4’6” Weight: 110 lbs Species: Human Appearance: Aradjinn looks quite innocent, one would say adorable. Ocean blue eyes, a warm swarm, blue locks of hair going down to the middle of his back. He doesn’t wear many clothes, an unbuttoned blue sleeveless jacket, bandages covering his chest so the perverts don’t feel tempted, and loose baggy white pants for ease of movement as well as a turban and red ruby inserted into it. He often has a flute hanging by a thick thread on his neck, and a staff in hand.
Image
Profession: Criminal Reputation 7 (Rank H)
Background Birthday: January 1st Personality: Aradjinn Yeager is quite the joyous person, in fact, it’s quite difficult to find Aradjinn angered or saddened. Furthermore, he’s a rather kind, mild-mannered kid, and one who were to meet him at first glance would not realize the darkness hiding under the hood. He has a lack of moral boundaries; murder, plundering and such actually draw pleasure from Aradjinn. Living with the simple philosophy that his time on earth remains limited, and there are only two things that should remain a priority in life, enjoying himself, and immortalizing his name. He doesn’t believe in higher purpose or in higher meaning. In fact, his only goal in life seems to be to combine his two pleasures, chaos and infamy. That being said, he isn't one to mindlessly kill on a whim, organized chaos seem to fit far more into his nature. Origin: Aradjinn doesn’t have the most compelling story, after all, his tale is young and his book is just receiving its first spots of ink. He was born to a lavish man of the Mafia, and never truly had any want for something, any desire he had were obtained quite easily. In turn, he was educated at a rather young age in many various arts and is far smarter than most of his peers as well as physically skilled for his age. Furthermore, under the tutelage of a former Shadow Beasts employed by his father, he was thought the power of Nen and came to develop his own Hatsu despite being so young. His hatsu was originally taken advantage of by his father for various uses, and although Aradjinn had no qualm against this, the nefarious objectives he was told to accomplish only fueled his desire for chaos, and pain. Eventually, he found himself leaving his father’s protection, fortunately, few beside his father, mother and mentor knew about his capabilities, allowing him to venture forward with nothing to hinder him, that being said, without an anchor, Aradjinn could very well find himself getting too eager too fast. History:
Backpack Jenni: 500,000 Equipment: - Laptop
- Survival Kit
- Cellphone
- 3 Event Tokens
Arsenal: - Puppet Master’s Flute: An ordinary flute infused with Aradjinn’s nen allowing him to perform The Puppet Master’s Melodies.
- Staff: An ordinary wooden staff.
× Physical Statistics
[0/3] [0/53] Aura: 23 Might: 10 Agility: 5 Endurance: 10 Accuracy: 5
× Nen Techniques
Basic Nen Techniques
Hatsu Affinity: Manipulation
[4/6] [0/1]
Hatsu Theme: Puppet Master’s Melody General Hatsu Description: The Puppet Master’s Melody at its core, is the manipulation of those who are cursed with hearing its sounds with the exception of the Puppet Master himself. That being said, it can often entail other uses as well, such as direct assaults through sound waves. General Hatsu Conditions: --
Hatsu Techniques Technique Name: Puppet Master’s Melody: Control Type: Offensive Technique Category: Manipulation Technique Rank: 2 Description: The Puppet Master is able to give commands to all those who hear this melody through The Puppet Master’s Flute. The uses for this are diverse and the limitations (with the exception of the conditions) are truly up to the user’s imagination. While under command, the victim’s will do everything they can to fulfill the command and will not be affected by morals, ethics, emotions or sentiments, as an example, an ally can be made free of fear to combat one who uses fear to his advantage, or could be made to kill despite it being against its morals. If the target isn’t commanded to do anything, they will merely remain in whatever position they were in until given a command Conditions: - Must be using The Puppet Master’s Flute, a flute with nen instilled into it. Not particularly special and more or less useless to anyone besides The Puppet Master in question.
- The target has to be within hearing range of The Puppet Master’s Melody but being that we are talking about sound, the effect is nearly instantaneous. The time taken for the effect to be put to use depends on both the user's aura and the target's aura. Should the target's aura stat be half of (or lower than half of) the user's aura stat, than it'll take 5 seconds for the effects to occur. For every point above half of the aura stat, it takes an extra second for the technique to come into effect. Until then, nothing is felt by the target besides hearing the melody.
- The target cannot be told to directly hurt themselves or kill themselves. An example of a prohibited command would be to drive a blade into your heart. However, commanding someone to walk straight while a bottomless pit is in that direction would not qualify as directly telling someone to hurt themselves or killing themselves, indirect commands of that nature are valid.
- While under The Puppet Master’s Melody, there are only two ways to be released from the manipulation, by The Puppet Master’s Melody being stopped (that would require someone free of control stopping the user from playing The Puppet Master’s Flute, this is as simple as freeing the flute from one of the hands or from his mouth), or by being knocked out. That being said, if one is given commands before the Melody is stopped or being out of its range, then the victim will seek to fulfill the command no matter what unless knocked out.
- The user may only make one command to each puppet. For every 3TP invested into this clause, the user is able to give an extra command to each puppet. Using a conjunction within a command counts as an added command.
- The Puppet Master must make specific commands or be at risk of misinterpretation. Something such as “walk straight” is vague enough for the victim to simply walk a meter and consider the command fulfilled. “Defend me” could be blocking a punch and considering the command fulfilled. In turn, The Puppet Master must be as specific as can be. While his commands are done through the flute’s melody, the target’s brain is able to interpret these sounds as words. So long as the victim can hear, the victim can be commanded.
- The Puppet Master’s Melody is indiscriminate to those who hear it, meaning allies will be able to hear it if they don’t clog their ears.
- Victim’s do not remember what happened after they are freed from the technique.
- The sound must be heard clearly by the target.
- The Puppet Master is only able to manipulate one victim at a time. To be able to maintain control of more than one person at a time (as in give out multiple commands to more than one target at a time), the user must invest 5 TP into the technique. For every 5 TP, they can control an extra person at a time.
Range: As loud as the flute can be heard. This could be extended for example, by being amplified through a microphone and speakers. Ordinarily, the range of the technique is might multiplied by 2.5 in meters. (With a stat of 10 might, the range would be within 25 meters unless the sound is drowned out) Effect: The technique does no direct damage but merely puts the victim (anyone within range with their hearing unhindered) under the control of the user. The victim must then complete all commands given by the user and will only exit control if they have completed the command (while out of the range or the melody has been stopped), or if they are knocked unconscious. Cooldown: Three posts.
× Non-Nen Techniques
[17/17]Techniques Technique Name: Master Flutist Technique Category: Flute-Playing. Type: Supportive Range: As loud as the flute can be heard. This could be extended for example, by being amplified through a microphone and speakers. Ordinarily, the range of the technique is might multiplied by 2.5 in meters. (With a stat of 10 might, the range would be within 25 meters unless the sound is drowned out) Technique Rank: 1 Description: As a master flutist, Aradjinn is capable of playing the flute effortlessly while moving around, although he can run while playing the flute and even jump, doing a more arduous task such as kicking someone or something isn’t currently possible.
Technique Name: Deadly Melody Technique Category: Flute-Playing. Type: Offensive Range: As loud as the flute can be heard. This could be extended for example, by being amplified through a microphone and speakers. Ordinarily, the range of the technique is might multiplied by 2.5 in meters. (With a stat of 10 might, the range would be within 25 meters unless the sound is hugely drowned out) Technique Rank: 9 Description: As a master flutist, Aradjinn has mastered the art of the flute’s frequencies, capable of applying the right frequency to force targets to cover their ears or at the very least disorient them. The sound could be likened to a nail on a chalkboard to a more effective degree.
Technique Name: Deadlier Melody Technique Category: Flute-Playing. Type: Offensive Range: As loud as the flute can be heard. This could be extended for example, by being amplified through a microphone and speakers. Ordinarily, the range of the technique is might multiplied by 2.5 in meters. (With a stat of 10 might, the range would be within 25 meters unless the sound is hugely drowned out) Technique Rank: 16 (Costs 7 due to upgrade of Deadly Melody) Description: As a master flutist, Aradjinn has mastered the art of the flute’s frequencies, capable of applying the right frequency to force targets to cover their ears or at the very least disorient them. The sound could be likened to a nail on a chalkboard to a more effective degree. As an upgrade to Deadly Melody, this technique is even more damaging, causing ears to bleed and rendering the target deaf for three posts thus disregarding one of their senses.
Edited by Asylum, Jan 13 2014, 10:40 PM.
|
|
|
| |
|
Jon The GOAT
|
Jan 7 2014, 12:56 PM
Post #2
|
- Posts:
- 40
- Group:
- Member
- Member
- #468
- Joined:
- Jan 1, 2014
|
DOOOOOOOOOOOONE
|
|
|
| |
|
Kain
|
Jan 7 2014, 01:09 PM
Post #3
|
Tiger Lord aka Star Lord aka Vigo aka Chocolate Thunder
- Posts:
- 1,169
- Group:
- Advanced Member
- Member
- #48
- Joined:
- Feb 29, 2012
|
I like your NN-Techs, but I'm going to start with them >D
Deadly Melody is going to have to be about R9 and Deadlier might be a bit higher Ranked, if you're willing, you could make Master Flutist about R1 and use the remaining TP on Deadlier Melody. I say this simply because bleeding ears and going temporarily deaf is pretty extreme.
Note: you could also add in the rewards from the Winter Bonus to your app. http://s1.zetaboards.com/Hunter_X_Hunter_RPG/topic/5314088/1/,
And with that you'd have an extra TP to use for your NN-tech to make it about R16, which i think is an acceptable rank for Deadlier Melody
|
|
|
| |
|
Jon The GOAT
|
Jan 7 2014, 01:19 PM
Post #4
|
- Posts:
- 40
- Group:
- Member
- Member
- #468
- Joined:
- Jan 1, 2014
|
Complied and edited.
|
|
|
| |
|
Kain
|
Jan 7 2014, 01:44 PM
Post #5
|
Tiger Lord aka Star Lord aka Vigo aka Chocolate Thunder
- Posts:
- 1,169
- Group:
- Advanced Member
- Member
- #48
- Joined:
- Feb 29, 2012
|
Well, your totals haven't been edited and you forgot to add some stuff in from the rewards in the Winter Event. But that can wait.
Onto the Hatsu:
Step 1 - Compliment: Your hatsu is really good. I like the concept and we haven't really anyone with a true manipulation ability like this.
Step 2 - Corrections: In all fairness, being able to control someone is pretty heavy stuff and for that reason I need to ask for 2 things.
-1: Increase the rank of the ability to about Rank 2. -2: For now, make it so that everyone can hear, but only one person can be affected with the manipulation at a time. And you can add that you can increase the amount of influenced people by investing TP. [I'd say about 5 TP for every 1 extra person] -3: Range = Might multiplied by 2.5
|
|
|
| |
|
Jon The GOAT
|
Jan 7 2014, 01:58 PM
Post #6
|
- Posts:
- 40
- Group:
- Member
- Member
- #468
- Joined:
- Jan 1, 2014
|
- Kain
- Jan 7 2014, 01:44 PM
Well, your totals haven't been edited and you forgot to add some stuff in from the rewards in the Winter Event. But that can wait.
Onto the Hatsu:
Step 1 - Compliment: Your hatsu is really good. I like the concept and we haven't really anyone with a true manipulation ability like this.
Step 2 - Corrections: In all fairness, being able to control someone is pretty heavy stuff and for that reason I need to ask for 2 things.
-1: Increase the rank of the ability to about Rank 2. -2: For now, make it so that everyone can hear, but only one person can be affected with the manipulation at a time. And you can add that you can increase the amount of influenced people by investing TP. [I'd say about 5 TP for every 1 extra person] -3: Range = Might multiplied by 2.5 Done everything, while on the last part, I tried to take a different take on it. Here's what I added, if you feel it's still too strong then I am more than willing to change it.
"The Puppet Master is only able to manipulate one victim at a time. That being said, the puppet master is able to relinquish control of someone (they will still be forced to fulfill their commands but will be free once it is fulfilled) and take control of someone else. To be able to maintain control of more than one person at a time however (as in give out commands without having to relinquish full control of the target when wanting to control someone else), the user must invest 5 TP into the technique. For every 5 TP invested, the user can control an extra person. "
|
|
|
| |
|
Kain
|
Jan 7 2014, 03:13 PM
Post #7
|
Tiger Lord aka Star Lord aka Vigo aka Chocolate Thunder
- Posts:
- 1,169
- Group:
- Advanced Member
- Member
- #48
- Joined:
- Feb 29, 2012
|
I don't think anything else needs changing so without further adeu
1/2 Approved
|
|
|
| |
|
Asylum
|
Jan 7 2014, 03:40 PM
Post #8
|
Prone to Madness
- Posts:
- 3,406
- Group:
- Member
- Member
- #41
- Joined:
- Jan 27, 2012
|
So, can anyone be placed under your control just for hearing the flute, regardless of their level? That sounds WAY too easy, regardless of the conditions you have up right now. My suggestion is to make it so that only people with maybe half your aura stat can be controlled after playing a short song, and that it would take maybe an additional minute or so of playing for every aura point above that before it can take effect.
- Quote:
-
The Puppet Master’s Melodies maximum length takes into consideration two physical stats, the endurance of the user and their aura. The number in between these two stats (rounded up if a decimal) is the number of minutes The Puppet Master can play his melody without stopping. (An aura stat of 10, and endurance of 20 would mean the melody can last up to 15 minutes)
I would replace this condition with the number of commands that he can give to a single person before the ability ends. Say, able to give them one command/regulation with the ability to add an additional one for 3 TP. Keep the part about having to continuously play it or the abilities ends, and maybe set the maximum duration that the effect can last to X posts.
|
|
|
| |
|
Jon The GOAT
|
Jan 8 2014, 01:20 AM
Post #9
|
- Posts:
- 40
- Group:
- Member
- Member
- #468
- Joined:
- Jan 1, 2014
|
- Asylum
- Jan 7 2014, 03:40 PM
So, can anyone be placed under your control just for hearing the flute, regardless of their level? That sounds WAY too easy, regardless of the conditions you have up right now. My suggestion is to make it so that only people with maybe half your aura stat can be controlled after playing a short song, and that it would take maybe an additional minute or so of playing for every aura point above that before it can take effect. - Quote:
-
The Puppet Master’s Melodies maximum length takes into consideration two physical stats, the endurance of the user and their aura. The number in between these two stats (rounded up if a decimal) is the number of minutes The Puppet Master can play his melody without stopping. (An aura stat of 10, and endurance of 20 would mean the melody can last up to 15 minutes)
I would replace this condition with the number of commands that he can give to a single person before the ability ends. Say, able to give them one command/regulation with the ability to add an additional one for 3 TP. Keep the part about having to continuously play it or the abilities ends, and maybe set the maximum duration that the effect can last to X posts. I PM'd you Asylum in regards to this.
|
|
|
| |
|
Jon The GOAT
|
Jan 8 2014, 04:55 AM
Post #10
|
- Posts:
- 40
- Group:
- Member
- Member
- #468
- Joined:
- Jan 1, 2014
|
Updated.
|
|
|
| |
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
|