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| [Approved] [Ready for review]Ban't Orodreth[Archived]; Hey, its finished XD | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 25 2013, 04:04 AM (623 Views) | |
| beast | Sep 25 2013, 04:04 AM Post #1 |
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× General Information Name: Ban't Orodreth Gender: Male Age: 22 Height: About 5'8 Weight: about 64 kg Species: Human Appearance: He often wears his striped shirt with long sleeves and black gloves, he has strange eyes, grey with a black center, surrounding the center are black rings. He is usually pale almost grey-ish. His hair is originally black but he dyed half of it white/light grey. When needed, he carries around a sort of roll of thread about 2 and a half feet wide, able to carry a few hundred feet of thread (depending on size) Image Profession:He wanders around doing odd jobs not staying in one place. Reputation: 0 (Rank H) Background Backpack × Physical Statistics [0/0] [0/50] Aura: 15 Might: 5 Agility: 10 Endurance: 10 Accuracy: 10 × Nen Techniques Basic Nen Techniques Hatsu Affinity: Reinforcement [X/6] [0/0] Hatsu Theme: Trap General Hatsu Description: He uses kunai like blades and tosses them around certain areas of the location where small but strong threads are attached to the handle of the blades, he then strengthens these threads with Nen and when the enemy passes through said threads, they receive major injuries ( such as loss of a limb or even decapitation) where he would then finish them off from a distance. ( He uses Shuu to envelop and strengthen the threads , also sharpen them enough to cut through flesh and bone) General Hatsu Conditions: The user must stay completely still otherwise the nen flow would be distrupted, Also, the longer it is used the weaker the threads become, also wearing out because of the amount of nen flowing through it. Also, the longer the thread the weaker it is. Hatsu Techniques × Non-Nen Techniques [X/16] Techniques
Edited by beast, Sep 27 2013, 09:29 PM.
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| beast | Sep 25 2013, 04:31 AM Post #2 |
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Totally ready for review. |
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| Kain | Sep 25 2013, 03:11 PM Post #3 |
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Tiger Lord aka Star Lord aka Vigo aka Chocolate Thunder
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Ok, lets start with the easy stuffs ;D 1. Appearance: Lets get a little more going, you know, some facial features, body type, hair color, etc. Just make it a little more, dattebyo. 2. Detailed History: Self explanatory, we just need to know more about you're character's upbringing and what led him to his current path....more or less 3. Personality: I wanna know what makes Ban't tick, what makes him mad, happy, content. I wanna know fears, weaknesses, strengths, strong points, hobbies. etc (you can exclude weaknesses and stuff, just tell me more about him) Lets get these before we start to the hatsu |
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| beast | Sep 25 2013, 08:15 PM Post #4 |
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This better? And now the hatsu. |
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| Asylum | Sep 25 2013, 08:24 PM Post #5 |
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Prone to Madness
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I don't see much problem with it. Make the hatsu rank 3. I think you should specify how long each thread is and how many you have. Are they normal string or metal wire? I would also make note that the strength of the wire should decrease the longer/more wire it is used on at a time, since the character would be spreading the aura out over larger distances. Beyond that, I'm not sure why increasing durability of wire would do damage like cutting off limbs unless the target is running into it at high speed or something. Perhaps you should consider changing it transmutation, and change the effect to giving them cutting properties? Unless you were hoping to use them like nets or rope. |
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| beast | Sep 25 2013, 08:26 PM Post #6 |
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The fact that most of them would be running and also, I would use shuu (hopefully) to sharpen/ strengthen them enough to cut limbs? |
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| beast | Sep 25 2013, 08:35 PM Post #7 |
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Alright, all edited and what not, |
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| Kain | Sep 25 2013, 08:50 PM Post #8 |
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Tiger Lord aka Star Lord aka Vigo aka Chocolate Thunder
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If I'm not mistaken Asylum, couldn't he use Transformation as a sub-category and get a sharper wire? |
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| beast | Sep 25 2013, 08:52 PM Post #9 |
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Asylums offline :( |
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| beast | Sep 25 2013, 10:10 PM Post #10 |
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Just making sure people get it :) , When the user moves or is moved, the ability basically stops. much like gaara if he wakes up from his trance. |
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12:12 PM Jul 11