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| [Approved] Jasper Blaine COMPLETE[Archived] | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 17 2013, 11:25 AM (412 Views) | |
| Mr. Gibles | Sep 17 2013, 11:25 AM Post #1 |
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× General Information Name: Jasper Blaine Gender: Male Age: 14 Height: 4'11 Weight: 142 Species: Human Appearance: Hair- Spiky and crimson red in color. Eyes-Brown with deep red highlights. Clothes-Always wearing some kind of hoodie, the brand and image are subject to change often. Mostly wears blue jeans and blue jean shorts. Image Profession: Swordsman/Smith Reputation: 0 (Rank H) Background Backpack × Physical Statistics [0/0] [0/50] Aura: 5 Might: 9 Agility: 16 Endurance: 9 Accuracy: 11 × Nen Techniques Basic Nen Techniques Hatsu Affinity: Conjuration/Materialization [4/6] [0/0] Hatsu Theme: Fantasy Forge General Hatsu Description: Allows Jasper to summon bladed weapons that he is familiar with. He can summon Nen swords with their blade into an elemental affinity under various conditions. General Hatsu Conditions: Several Hatsu have various conditions that prevent over use of the ability. Hatsu Techniques × Non-Nen Techniques [4/16] Techniques
Edited by Asylum, Sep 29 2013, 11:03 AM.
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| Asylum | Sep 18 2013, 12:59 PM Post #2 |
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Prone to Madness
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I like this hatsu, and it seems like it has some good conditions, but there are a few things I would like to make note of. First of all is the ‘only usable on criminals’ condition. That can be rather hard to define in some circumstances. Would criminals, at times, just be considered people that he has witnessed doing something he considers wrong? Or would he actually have to confirm that the opponent’s crimes are in fact against the town/city/region/nation’s law and possibly report them before being able to use it? Secondly, something I’m edgy about is the conditions for Judgment. They do seem good at first glance, I’ll admit, but in a way they don’t really seem to be all that limiting. Unlike with the bombers, there’s no way to deactivate or escape its effects it once they have been informed of it other than surrendering; which basically makes it seem like a win-win scenario for your character. Sure, they can’t be used to kill the target, but I assume that they still can do quite a bit of damage and when used on limbs can greatly limit movement. I would say to add some way to be able to cancel its effects without surrendering as part of the condition, though it doesn’t necessarily have to be easy nor harmless to accomplish. Ah, and lastly, you sure you want only one point in aura? Even if you don’t start with nen, the aura stat basically represents a kind of life force and can be strong even without nen training (like Pitou). Not having any aura stat at all would basically render something an inanimate object. You can keep it as you have it now, but just saying that it’s not useless without nen. |
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| Mr. Gibles | Sep 19 2013, 11:54 AM Post #3 |
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I have edited in the discussed conditions. |
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| Kain | Sep 19 2013, 12:50 PM Post #4 |
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Tiger Lord aka Star Lord aka Vigo aka Chocolate Thunder
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I'll have to give the final call to UW, but as for me, I can't immediately think of anything more than what i said in the cbox: Approved 1/2 |
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| Asylum | Sep 19 2013, 12:54 PM Post #5 |
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Prone to Madness
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Don't these two conditions/abilities kind of overlap? |
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| Mr. Gibles | Sep 19 2013, 01:00 PM Post #6 |
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Took out the En ability and kept the 15 meter condition. |
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| Asylum | Sep 19 2013, 01:04 PM Post #7 |
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Prone to Madness
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Alright, approved. |
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12:12 PM Jul 11