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| [Approved] Evans Michaels[Archived] | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 17 2013, 11:56 AM (940 Views) | |
| Dramien | Jul 17 2013, 11:56 AM Post #1 |
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× General Information Name: Evans Michaels Gender: Male Age: 15 Height: 5'11 Weight: 182lbs Species: Human Appearance: Evans has Brown hair and black eyes, he's a Caucasian male with a yellowish complexion. He has a slightly muscular physique and is of average weight and body size. He wears a Bright red hoodie, long black slacks, Black slip on shoes with white short socks and brown gloves. His Hood is marked with a design of eyes on each side and a evilly grinning mouth on each side of the Hood. At other times, usually when he would be at home he would wear a white hoodie and long white monkey pants aswell as white socks and his occasional black slip ons when he needs to put them on. Image Profession: Grade 5 Hunter Applicant Reputation: 0 (Rank H) Background Backpack × Physical Statistics [0/0] [0/50] Aura: 8 Might: 12 Agility: 12 Endurance: 8 Accuracy: 10 × Nen Techniques Basic Nen Techniques Hatsu Affinity: Materialization [6/6] [0/0] Hatsu Theme: Shadow walker. General Hatsu Description: The ability allows the user to turn shadows into portals or to conjure body parts and even clones from the shadows. Portals created in shadows lead to a realm made of nen which connects all shadows in the vicinity of the shadow used to create the first portal. The realm consists of multiple doors connecting to each shadow within the vicinity which would be within the users eye sight or En from the position where in which he/she had entered the portal. General Hatsu Conditions: Must be used on a shadow emitted by a light source. Portals can either be created on any area of a shadow that the user touches and marks with the word "DOOR". Portals can also be created on a shadow which is pierced by an object with the key word. Conjuration of objects such as puppets and body parts from shadows can only be created on shadows where in which the user is in contact with and must be in contact with a shadow. If the conjured object is moved from complete contact with the shadow it is erased. Objects on top of a portal do not fall instantly but take a short amount of time to sink in through the door for the portal has to be created BEFORE the door in the realm is opened. Hatsu Techniques |
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| Asylum | Jul 17 2013, 02:47 PM Post #2 |
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Prone to Madness
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The ability Copy Cat; if you want to use it you have to list it under hatsu techniques and it would probably be at least Rank 1 if not 0. There's also a lot of problems with it as it is, for instance being able to freely use up to 7 abilities while standing within 100 feet of it is not that strong a condition compared to the benefits. Contrast with Chrollo who had a ton of conditions to just obtain an ability and had quite a few more to be able to use them. The fact that they are still subject to the original conditions of the hatsu should go without saying. You'll have to find some way to make sure that you can't just have as many hatsu as you want to use whenever you want and with no AP cost aside from the initial ability. I would say, assuming you add more conditions to Copy Cat itself to make it workable, each time you add a hatsu it will have to be approved in an adjustment first and can only be of a certain rank or lower (so no just taking as many high level abilities as you want by meeting someone with them IC, they would have to be fairly simple), plus will cost a significant amount of TP to add. First, add more limiting conditions to it. Being able to utilize several 'copied' abilities in a fight or other situation should be quite a pain to do even if the conditions to obtain them in the first place are very strict. Finally, God Fist. Rank 1 Non Nen Techs are supposed to be simple, basic maneuvers (which don't cost any TP) and normally stances aren't really considered Techniques, but the way you describe it basically makes it seem all powerful; able to dish out heavy and fast attacks, reduce knock-back damage, and easily dodge anything. Rather than the stance, I would rather see the moves and dodges themselves be listed as Non-Nen Techniques with you telling us how they work and/or what they do to the target. You don't have to list every possible move your character might use in a fight, just the noteworthy ones that are particularly good, effective, or difficult to perform. Moves listed as N-N Techs tend to be more powerful or effective than ordinary martial arts techniques or strikes a PC might be described to perform in a fight. |
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| Dramien | Jul 18 2013, 10:17 AM Post #3 |
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that's ok, I was planning to change my ability when I got home anyways, copying other nen users abilities started to seam a little dull to me over time. xD thanks anyways. will get to working on it now. And about the God fist, sorry about that, I was a little unsure of how they were supposed to work :') thanks again. Edited by Dramien, Jul 18 2013, 10:29 AM.
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| Dramien | Jul 18 2013, 12:21 PM Post #4 |
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Ok, changed. Please tell me what you think. Edit note: Was going through some Profiles and I noticed theres someone who has a ridiculously similar ability to the one I just added. Hope that's ok :p Edited by Dramien, Jul 18 2013, 12:34 PM.
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| Asylum | Jul 18 2013, 04:24 PM Post #5 |
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Prone to Madness
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I'm a bit confused as to how your Shadow Step works. Can you only have 2 portals set up, one working as an Entrance and one working as an Exit and you can control the size of the shadow realm connecting them? And do you have to touch both shadows beforehand before you can enter/exit? If its just that, it might be fine as is. If it gets more complicated or stronger than that you'll probably need to add better conditions and maybe even increase the rank. Abyss: Add a limit to how many arms/how much 'shadow material' they are composed of he can create and use at once; that number can be increased by adding TP later. (So, how long he can make an arm assuming he has a big enough shadow, or how many shorter arms he can make instead, etc). Do the arms continue moving even after the user stops making contact with the shadow? You may have to add another condition or two to this. God Fist: Better, but these techniques all seem to be well over Rank 1 to me. Non Nen Techniques cost TP equal to their rank (except for r1's which are free and basically consist of ordinary moves any player might describe their character as performing like 'A spinkick', 'A punch to the jaw', or 'A karate chop'). I'd say to make Heaven and Hell and Bladed Palm r6-8 and Palm Strike maybe r3-4. |
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| Dramien | Jul 19 2013, 05:29 AM Post #6 |
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hmm... edited it a bit. Well, the shadow step portal summonings range is sort of like this. The user steps on a shadow where they can open the entrance/exit portal. Any shadow within his Field of vision(lets say 20ft) can be used to open the second portal. The second portal can also be opened within the users En. either portal can work as both exit and entrance. the user can only have 2 portals open at the same time and if he wants to create a new portal destination he has to open 2 completely new portals. Bascially. |
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| Kain | Jul 19 2013, 04:45 PM Post #7 |
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Tiger Lord aka Star Lord aka Vigo aka Chocolate Thunder
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I see your edits and so far they don't really raise any problematic questions, however, one thing comes to mind when using shadows and I just want to clarify this so that the extent of your "current" abilities can be measured. Your ability stemming from shadows poses no problem, from me, but what about darkness. Speaking about abyss, what is the extent of your abilities if you're in a fairly dark room? Does the number of arms capable of being made increase? And i would assume that the size and length of said arms can also be increased depending on the size of the shadow (in this case a dark room's worth.) |
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| Dramien | Jul 19 2013, 09:33 PM Post #8 |
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well, I believe I stated somewhere that darkness cannot be used to trigger the abilities, so I doubt that darkness would be able to increase the amount of arms to summoned or add extra areas for portals to be conjured. |
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| Asylum | Jul 19 2013, 10:09 PM Post #9 |
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Prone to Madness
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Ok, what I want you to do for Abyss is put a limit on the size/number of hands he can create regardless of how big a shadow or how many he has available. Say, 1 four meter long hand or 4 one meter long hands. You can increase that number by adding TP later. For Shadow Step, if it lets him instantly create a pathway from one shadow to another within his en range or sight, you should add another decent limiting condition to it. Something that makes it more difficult to use, but it could be any of a variety of things. For an idea of how limiting, for example: Having to complete a lengthy series of handsigns before activating it, having to mark both shadows beforehand, being only able to use it a number of times in a day with a strict punishment if surpassed, etc. |
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| Dramien | Jul 20 2013, 01:35 AM Post #10 |
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welll..... acctually the arms are already limited to a maximum of 4 no matter what size the shadow is and the amount of arms being able to be summoned already decreases depending on the size of the arms already summoned. And as for the shadow step. I'm not too sure about adding another condition considering it only "instantly" transports the user and due to the portals having to be closed in order to open another path way, it would be impossible to teleport spam (If thats what you were worried about) since I wouldnt be able to summon another portal on the next post. Though if you still need me to add another condition I'll do just that. |
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12:12 PM Jul 11