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| [Approved] Wicked[Archived] | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 18 2013, 11:50 PM (843 Views) | |
| Yuan | Apr 18 2013, 11:50 PM Post #1 |
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× General Information Name: Wicked Gender: Male Age: 24 Height: 6' 2" Weight: 180 lbs. Species: Human Appearance: It can't be helped but to compare Wicked to what he resembles... A ninja. But he is not a ninja! He wears thick leather boots rather than rubber-soled shoes to cut down on noise, and light baggy pants for the same reason. Round his waist he wears a metal belt with a triangular piece on the front which armors his personal areas. Over his chest he wears a tight-fitting leather vest which could really be compared more to a leather breastplate in design. The leather vest has a cloth hood, necessary for any good infiltrator. Over the lower half of his face, Wicked wears a black cloth face cover, and on his head he wears a black steel forehead protector. Wicked has a lean muscular build and stands a little on the tall side. His hair is ash-gray in color. He has a black tribal tattoo on his left shoulder. Wicked's left arm was cut off above the wrist and he replaced it with a cybernetic prosthetic. Image Profession: Treasure Hunter Reputation: 22 (Rank H) Background Backpack × Physical Statistics [0/11] [0/61] Aura: 12 Might: 10 Agility: 15 Endurance: 10 Accuracy: 14 × Nen Techniques Basic Nen Techniques Hatsu Affinity: Materialization [6/6] [1/5] Hatsu Theme: Shade Walker General Hatsu Description: Shade Walker is a conjuration ability which creates a fourth-dimensional space accessable by passing through shadows. The user can sink into a shadow and enter into a hallway lined with doorways with no doors. Each doorway represents a shadow within the range of the ability which the user can then exit through, rising from another shadow. General Hatsu Conditions: -Shadows must be cast by some form of light source. Actual darkness will not work. -The user cannot sink into their own shadow. -The user must come into contact with the target shadow. -Living beings cannot be brought into the shadow with the user unless they verbally acknowledge the user as their ally. -The user cannot sink/rise from two shadows at once. They must enter one shadow and move to the doorway of another shadow before rising from that shadow. -The user must be in physical contact with any item or person they intend to bring with them into the shadow. -Any object/person intended to be brought into a shadow must fit into the area of said shadow. The area of the shadow can be thought of as a hole. The object/person must be able to fit into the hole to be brought in. -Shadows must remain still for the user to exit. If the target shadow belongs to a living being, then the doorway will close if they lift their feet from the ground. -The same distance must be travelled in the 4th dimension as that between the entrance and exit shadows in the real world. -The user must be in Zetsu to travel through the shadow, and they will be unable to deactivate Zetsu for 2 posts after finally exiting the shadow. Hatsu Techniques × Non-Nen Techniques [17/21] Techniques
Edited by Asylum, Apr 26 2013, 12:49 PM.
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| Yuan | Apr 22 2013, 11:37 PM Post #11 |
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I did put the reasonably still condition in... |
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| Asylum | Apr 23 2013, 10:28 AM Post #12 |
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Prone to Madness
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Yes, and I said that was only a part of my suggestion. Just that alone isn't good enough unless you combine it with something stronger. |
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| Yuan | Apr 23 2013, 04:58 PM Post #13 |
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I changed "Bloody Blade" to "Boomerang Windmill Shuriken". I went with Materialization, but I wasn't sure what to do about conditions since it is fairly simple. How many do you think I would need? Also, I am really struggling with coming up with another condition for shade walker... I feel like I've covered all the angles with the tons of conditions I already have... I can't figure out what else to do... |
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| Asylum | Apr 23 2013, 06:07 PM Post #14 |
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Prone to Madness
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BWS is mostly fine, just add a maximum range for how far it can be thrown while still returning (maybe thirty meters), and a decent summoning condition (like a series of motions he has to perform to conjure the item, so he can't just pull it out of thin air in the blink of an eye). Summoning condition can be replaced with something else equally limiting if you do want to be able to pull it out like that. To be honest, most of the conditions you have for Shade Walker right now are either really weak or should pretty much be a given for that kind of power and don't count for much as a result since they should be there automatically. The strongest one, from what I see, is only allowing people who verbally acknowledge him as an ally and are in contact with him to enter the hallway which doesn't really make much of a difference when using it by yourself. I don't look at the number of conditions a hatsu has, but how strong/limiting each one is and how they all add up to limit how the ability can be used. I'm trying to be reasonable here, but, honestly, your conditions combined aren't worth much. Like I said, you have to think about something that your character would be required to do in order to enter the shadow or something that makes him more careful about how he uses it; like maybe he has to be wearing all black, maybe he has to actually inform anyone in range as to how his power works, perhaps he can only use it so many times in a day, maybe the exit is random, or maybe he has to be in zetsu in order to enter and exit a shadow; just to name a few off the top of my head. |
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| Yuan | Apr 23 2013, 11:49 PM Post #15 |
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Alright, edited according to what we discussed and finished filling in the rest. Ready for checking! |
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| Asylum | Apr 24 2013, 09:28 PM Post #16 |
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Prone to Madness
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Your Jenni total comes up to 2,200,000 and RP to 22, actually, from Exploration, Assassination, and the WTS, unless I'm missing something. For convenience, please add all those links to this character's history, maybe in a 'Scooped' spoiler (you'd have my eternal gratitude if you also listed what you got from each). Also you need to add a link to where you got the 6th token. Fix that and I will approve. |
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| Yuan | Apr 24 2013, 11:54 PM Post #17 |
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Edited Don't know where those extra points came from, other than bad math I guess. |
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| Asylum | Apr 25 2013, 02:27 AM Post #18 |
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Prone to Madness
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Alright, approved. |
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12:12 PM Jul 11