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| [Approved] Sieg Seteras[Archived] | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Oct 4 2012, 04:38 PM (724 Views) | |
| Breeze | Oct 4 2012, 04:38 PM Post #1 |
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× General Information Name: Sieg Seteras Gender: Male Age: 16 Height: 5 ft 11 Weight: 60 kg Species: Human Appearance: Sieg has a mess of pale brown hair, very rarely cut and a natural 'pretty-boy' look thanks to his good genetics. While he has the appearance of a calm, dignified 'prince' type he's actually prone to bouts of extreme emotion so take his appearance with a pinch of salt. He can go from handsome to shouting with a pointed finger in a matter of seconds. His eyes are an off green colour, a little too vivid and comically similar to his namesake. He's got a random assortment of scars across his left arm as he injured himself plenty training to fight, while he could usually shield his right arm his left bore the brunt of the abuse. Clothing-wise, he wears a rough assortment bought from the first shop he came across. He has sturdy brown ankle boots with shiny metal buckles across them and a rounded steel cap, dark blue trousers with multiple pockets tucked into the boots and a big leather belt with a large buckle. Other than that he has an airy red buttoned down shirt on his torso, the sleeves rolled up to his elbow and on the back a black tribal symbol stitched into it. He's also got a loose black belt looped around his waist with a secondary loop in which he shoves his bokkens for carrying purposes. His backpack is particularly huge to accomodate the extra weapons he intends to pick up. Image Profession: Aspiring Hunter/'Master' Swordsman Reputation: 0 (Rank H) Background Backpack × Physical Statistics [0/0] [0/50] Aura:13 Might:10 Agility:10 Endurance:9 Accuracy:8 × Nen Techniques Basic Nen Techniques Hatsu Affinity: Re-inforcement [6/6] [0/0] Hatsu Theme: Blade Master General Hatsu Description: Sieg's abilities are all themed around re-inforcing and improving his weapons as well as bringing out their latent abilities if the weapon in question is special in some way. Generally speaking, his techniques do not require a sword to perform, they also work with any other inanimate object he can hold in his hands and swing. General Hatsu Conditions: Sieg must be using a sword or other foreign object to perform his techniques, while he can fight usually with re-inforcement and Ren he needs a weapon to perform his moves. Hatsu Techniques |
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| Breeze | Oct 4 2012, 04:40 PM Post #2 |
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I think I got everything in order, but my maths is also pretty terrible so I could have made some errors. Or misunderstood the abilities. Or pretty much any of it, come to think of it. |
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| פֿDante | Oct 4 2012, 05:29 PM Post #3 |
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Candy flavored Death
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Just a few things it seems like all of this can be basic nen techs... the first one is Shuu (free technique) The second one is Iajutsu which you can use Non-nen techniques for which you get a free 16 points for. (rank 1's are free) And the third one is just practical application of Ren just as the explination you gave states :p I don't wanna dis how you wanna do it don't get me wrong i just think its a waste of your points :p aside from that please measure things in posts rather than hours. After all a few minutes in character can take Months irl depending on the post speed of the person or persons your playing with so there is no way to measure it. Since your not a hunter you also get a free laptop for equipment |
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| Asylum | Oct 4 2012, 05:58 PM Post #4 |
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Prone to Madness
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Adding to what Dante said (he beat me to it): -I don't really see what Batter-up has to do with nen; as it is it sounds more like a non-nen technique than a hatsu ability to me. If you want to make it a hatsu, you should give it a more nen-related reason for how it works. An example I would recommend might be focus nen in his shoulder, arm, and/or wrist while standing in place in his 'sheathed' stance before releasing an attack of drastically increased power/speed that can reflect projectiles when he sees the opportunity. A good condition could be that the power/speed increases the longer he's in that 'sheathed' stance. -No Sword Style: This is going to need more description as to how it works (Is it like a full-body gyou? Does it reinforce his skin to be like iron?) and will probably need at least a small condition or two. I think that’s what you were going for rather than a hand-to-hand combat style, at least- in which case I would recommend changing the name. Unless it really is just moving around with ren active as Dante said. -Ultimate Sword Style: There's no real need for conditions on Non Nen Techs (with some exceptions) as they are usually just things like flashy moves. You don't really have to spend TP just to say that your character knows how to handle a sword, though a lot of members like to add it to flesh out their character and that's fine however I would bringing it down to r6-r8 or so. -[X/6] should be [6/6] though the number of AP spent (the X) might change as you edit your hatsu abilities. -[X/16] should be [16/16] though the X might change as you edit your non nen techs as well. |
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| Breeze | Oct 5 2012, 03:31 AM Post #5 |
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Hmmm, dangit, may have erred on the side of being under-powered. Tried editting some stuff in, think that's any better? |
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| Zephistopheles | Oct 5 2012, 05:51 AM Post #6 |
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the Spirit that denies
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To me the Hatsus seem to be mainly stronger versions of stuff you can do anyway. That's fine by me, i'm just pointing out that you could reach the 'crazy levels' of toughness for the weapon with normal shuu if your char is strrong enough. which is fine if you are happy with that i'm just sayin'. the only real thing that needs changing in my oppinion is that you are still refering to hours in the cooldown for sword of the master, other than that the char is approveable in my mind. |
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| Breeze | Oct 5 2012, 10:11 AM Post #7 |
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Editted the time thing, I was going to add some more powerful moves as he got stronger since being able to cut through mountains would probably need a bit higher aura and strength; but at the same time don't want to be completely underpowered it's just hard to think of balanced re-inforcement type nen >_> |
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| Asylum | Oct 5 2012, 07:07 PM Post #8 |
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Prone to Madness
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Cutting through montains isn't something anyone will be able to do for a very long time (we only have so many of those, think of the environment friend). In all seriousness, though, reinforcement type hatsu are typically very simple and can be types of attacks (such as Gon's Rock or Phinks' hatsu where the power of his punch increases depending on the number of times he winds his arm) though I really think both your Batter up and spiral drive would be better suited as non nen techs. Anyways, if you're certain you want to keep them like that I'll go ahead and 1/2 approve it. Also [50/50] should be [0/50]. |
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| Zephistopheles | Oct 5 2012, 10:53 PM Post #9 |
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the Spirit that denies
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both you and asylum are correct in that it it is hard to find reinforcement abilities that are more than just a stronger version of something else. then again it doesn't have to be. if you go with a strengthened shuu that will always remain stronger than normal shuu would be at your current level. the wuestion shouldn't be ifis an entirely new effect you couldn't have reached without the hatsu but if it is an effect you are happy with. that being said if you want to keep the hatsus as they are please say so and i'll give you the final approval. |
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| Breeze | Oct 6 2012, 03:55 AM Post #10 |
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OK, at the advice of Asylum I downgraded Batter Up and Spiral Drive into Non Nen moves and modified my nen abilities so they're all now modified/personalised versions of existing stuff. Also gave them neat kanji names sort of >_> |
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12:13 PM Jul 11