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[Approved] Alistair Lace[Archived]; The Final Countdown
Topic Started: Aug 12 2012, 03:16 PM (1,066 Views)
Kerum Kosha
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× General Information

Name: Alistair Lace
Gender: Male
Age: 24
Height: 6 foot
Weight: 170 lb
Species: Human
Appearance:

Image


Profession: Paranormal Hunter
Reputation: 0 (Rank H)
Background

Backpack


× Physical Statistics

[0/0]
[0/50]

Aura: 14 (12 after permanent -2)
Might: 10
Agility: 7
Endurance: 11
Accuracy: 8

× Nen Techniques

Basic Nen Techniques

Hatsu Affinity: Materialization


[6/6]
[0/0]


Hatsu Theme: King Kraven
General Hatsu Description: Most if not all of his powers are in conjuncture with the semi-revived King Kraven aka his scythe
General Hatsu Conditions: Must be holding scythe and must say some kind of phrase and typically pay X amount of his remaining life.

Hatsu Techniques


× Non-Nen Techniques

[10/16]
Techniques
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Asylum
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Prone to Madness

If you’re going to keep the -2 Aura debuff as a condition, make it so that the equation solving the maximum amount of aura the scythe can steal from a person is half of his aura after the debuff, so the maximum would be 6 rather than 7. Besides that, the -2 Aura shouldn’t count towards the amount that the scythe can store/use for hatsu and is more like just a cost for keeping the weapon conscious.

Also, my suggestions for changes to make that would make me willing to approve this without drastically altering the ability (well, from a technical/balance viewpoint. It might not fit perfectly into the ‘gather enough aura to resurrect the guy’ thing you have in the backstory, but that can be easily worked around.) :

-Make a maximum amount of aura that the weapon can store since, as it is now, there is only a limit on how much he can steal per person with no limit as to how many people he can steal from. I would say that 6 Aura would be good to start out, and can be improved gradually by adding TP later.

-Change the way aura is stolen so that it can only be done by slashing the opponent with the scythe and only steals 1 aura per cut. As it is, gaining aura is too easy and the conditions aren’t really good enough to make up for it.

-Make a condition where if the weapon is maxed out on aura, slashing another person with it will cause all of it to be lost so he’ll have to start again. A good condition that would stem from this would be that he cannot cut someone with the scythe again without losing all the stolen aura if he’s maxed out on aura already stolen and he cannot just ‘release some’ for no reason unless it’s through a hatsu technique like Ghostly King (since I assume you intend to make more hatsu that can use up the accumulated aura and can think of a few good ones).

-At the start of every thread, the amount of aura that the scythe has siphoned which can be used for abilities should be zero. Dismissing/recalling the weapon in the middle of a thread will not change the amount of aura it has currently stored.

-For Ghostly King, because of the nature of the ability which would basically allow you to escape from any situation easily besides being quite useful for infiltration, I suggest changing it a little bit so it’s more costly to use. Get rid of the ‘must be gathered in this fight part’ and make it so that he can do it with any aura he’s accumulated, but he must have a certain amount before he can do it (I think 6 would be good) and automatically drains all other aura he has accumulated to zero as well. It doesn’t have to be an instant drain for every hatsu that uses stolen aura, but for one like this I think it’s for the best.


For fixing the whole ‘gather enough aura to resurrect the guy’ dilemma, I suggest making it so that aura stolen/stored inside the scythe to be used for hatsu is different from the kind of ‘aura’ gathered permanently towards the resurrection. Maybe the latter is only stolen by taking someone’s life with the scythe (maybe even an evil person’s if you’re against just going around killing people for it) and cannot be used for said hatsu or anything other than story-purposes.
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Kerum Kosha
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I have no issues with your first four statements ^-^,

"-At the start of every thread, the amount of aura that the scythe has siphoned which can be used for abilities should be zero. Dismissing/recalling the weapon in the middle of a thread will not change the amount of aura it has currently stored."

Later you say to have his ghostly king expend all aura gathered but needs a minimum of 4 to do it but by that your stating that I still must cut someone 4 times in a thread before I can even use it which is the same thing as before... unless i am misunderstanding it. Also your number of 6 to be able to use ghostly king later is his max and so also causes confusion in me since you stated before 4 and now 6, but i do agree that it would cost a bunch to use that power and with all of this I still need the half a year of his life thing or can that be removed.

Now for the stored stuff, I wanted to make it so that maybe any aura he has stolen and not used at the end of a thread would be transferred over to a permanent number and that he won't have access to it at all kind of thing and can't be done during solo threads if i have any.

Also edited the bio to what i think you mean if you have issues again just let me know
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Asylum
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Prone to Madness

Before, the wording of Ghostly King implied that he could only use it mid-fight or immediately after one and had to get all 4 aura from a single target. I didn’t think that was exactly what you meant though, since I figured you wanted to use it for more than just retreating from a tough fight. I did say, however, that it was a very powerful ability and that it should be more costly, thus you would need to have accumulated quite a bit before you could activate it and when it ended it would be at zero.

For the half year thing, I’d say keep it since it is a decent condition that basically means you can’t just spam these abilities unless it’s a serious situation and can have a strong influence on the character’s story even if it has little influence on an RP directly and balance-wise doesn’t count for much (of course, that’s not to say that it’s a condition anyone could just add to their hatsu to get a strong ability at practically no cost; I’m willing to accept it for your char’s hatsu theme if all the abilities using the aura have such a cost). If you do remove it, I suggest adding some other condition to replace it. An example of one that could work off the top of my head: In order to conjure it, he must draw a complex ancient seal on the ground (takes several minutes) and then say “Arise ---” while standing in front of it and must cut himself with the blade every half hour in order to keep it conjured and pleased with him.

When it comes to the stored aura, that’s fine as long as you separate the stored/usable aura and can’t ‘dip’ into the stored for extra aura to use an ability. Also, you can’t just turn usable into stored aura whenever you want. An example would be when you were fighting someone and had already accumulated 6 aura but didn’t want to use an ability and just decided to make 1 aura into stored aura so you could cut him again without losing all 6 points. Since you said it only applied at the end of the thread, I think that's what you had in mind anyways but I mentioned it just to be clear.

Also, just go ahead and make Ghostly King Materialization.
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Kerum Kosha
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K I understand edited and hopefully when you read through it again all will be good ^-^ and the year cost thing could actually effect him, seeing as if he uses it ever thread he is in... that will add up super fast and before you know it BAM he is dead lol
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Asylum
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Prone to Madness

Approved 2/2.
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