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The History of the Temple of the Solar Butterfly
Topic Started: Jan 3 2014, 06:31 PM (523 Views)
B-29 Bomber
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She is not amused at Fegelein. FEGELEIN!! FEGELEIN!! FEGELEIN!!!
Squaretable22
Jan 5 2014, 04:11 PM
It says something about "can't display" and "zerochan"

And ooh fancement
IT'S A GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY!!!!
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diggerjohn111
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Part two of our special coverage of the History of the Temple of the Solar Butterfly: "He Who Smelled It, Dealt It."
August 1973, Q.M. Butterbean and his two dozen followers were happy in their communal life deep in the jungles of Colombia, consuming massive quantities of coca leaf byproducts and close enough to the equator to start building their dream massive "Solar Butterfly Observatory/ Frozen Yogurt Shop". But as fate would have it, events took a dark turn, as did Butterbean's mind.
19 August 1973, members of the El Guapo Garcia Cartel, a vicious and up and coming cocaine business and ice cream distributor got wind of the group of Americans, Canadians and one Liechtensteiner living in their territory and making money selling coca leaves and mint fudge deluxe to the locals. Juan Pablo "El Guapo" Garcia was determined to rid his territory of any competition in narcotics and low-fat dessert treats.
On the night of the 23rd, Garcia's men, armed with machetes and AK-47s descended upon the Solar Butterfly Temple compound, killing 8 members, destroying the foundation of the Observatory, smashing the array of state of the art frozen yogurt machines, wounding their St. Bernard, Mr. Slobber Pants and destroying Butterbean's prized Hummel figure collection of Alpine children taking turns milking cows. Defenseless, Butterbean and his surviving followers took what they could grab and fled into the jungle night, unsure if they would survive to the following morning.
They did survive the following morning, at least in body. Emerging from the jungle, the 12 survivors managed to hitch a ride on two trucks belonging to a local Amway salesman into Bogata, the capital of Colombia.
After 4 months of selling their bodies to lonely whale fishermen, they raised enough money to return to the United States, and from there Butterbean left the world of "harmless hippie/ deluded lunatic" to becoming known as one of the most notorious and inept cult leaders in world history.
In January of 1974, Butterbean, after going through 4 months of coca leaf withdrawal, had a vision of Los Angeles Lakers' great Wilt Chamberlain telling him that the Solar Butterfly was dying, and that he needed to show the human race his massive power by bringing about "A Great Apocalypse of the Sun's Fury" upon the people of Eugene, Oregon.
Butterbean shared this with the twelve remaining members of the TSB cult, who in their now deeply scarred mental states, were willing to agree to anything Butterbean asked of them.
On 1 February 1974, Butterbean began planning "Operation Gilded Lilly", a plan to blow up the town hall, Elk's Club and Gary's Bowling Alley in downtown Eugene, Oregon. Materials for five large explosives were bought and assembled secretly, so secretly that other members of the group were not made aware of what each other was doing. Then tragedy struck...
While working on their explosives, gasses started to vent from the tanks of the "explosive materials" Butterbean had purchased from the Acme Novelty Supply Company. Being a grammar school drop out and barely literate, Butterbean (without the knowledge of the other cult members) bought 10,000 cubic litres of helium gas, helium being a product of the "Sun's Might", not knowing that the gas was not volatile. Never-the-less, in the poorly ventilated warehouse that the TSB cultists were assembling their "devices of the apocalypse" the quickly diminishing supply of oxygen started to kill members of the group. Local residents of Eugene heard what they described as "squeaky agony", and "leprechauns crying out in terror". When the local authorities arrived, 10 members of the Temple had suffocated due to helium asphyxiation, but two had escaped into the Oregon night, one was Butterbean and the other, his mistress, Sarah "Death Mule" Mooney. To this day adherents of the Solar Butterfly Faith call that night, "The Night of the High Pitched Martyrs".
Coming Next, Part Three of the History of the Temple of the Solar Butterfly: "The Phoenix Rises from the Lack of Ashes".
Edited by diggerjohn111, Jan 10 2014, 06:34 AM.
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Square
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Indeed it is demented. And trippy
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diggerjohn111
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Squaretable22
Jan 8 2014, 06:10 PM
Indeed it is demented. And trippy
Why thank you, sir. That was my goal, lol.
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Square
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You are completely welcome.
I look forward to (wtf am I so formal) the following episode in this great saga.
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GreenActor
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Ooooh boy. What's going to happen next in this thrilling saga of the Solar Butterfly HoS cult. Also we are getting near to Bone's birth year in the history... What will that mean.
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diggerjohn111
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See, the "Physical Form" of Bone was born much later, but his spiritual "thetan" dwelt inside others long before that. It's gross to think about, I'll give you that.
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Square
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I'm not sure I got that. ._.
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diggerjohn111
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Frozen Wasteland Pedestrian, Official Server Old Guy & Bruce Springsteen Impersonator
Take the red pill
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Square
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What "red pill"

Does it make me a commie?
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