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A Boxing Day Poem
Topic Started: Dec 26 2013, 08:33 AM (118 Views)
diggerjohn111
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Frozen Wasteland Pedestrian, Official Server Old Guy & Bruce Springsteen Impersonator
Here is a little something I wrote a few years ago to mark Boxing Day;

'Twas the Day after X-mas
and all through the house
people were sleeping late
even cousin Larry, that egg nog swilling louse.

People wake up, from their deep slumber
After drinking and eating all night,
feeling like they were assaulted with lumber.

Suddenly on the roof they hear nothing that sounds like reindeer
"Slurp! Slurp! Sloop!"
Andy the Aardvark has arrived! Bringing gifts of Fried Baloney and 24's of beer.

"Where are those fucking Termites!" the Aardvark bellows with rage.
On the loose because St. Nick returned home and opened up Andy's cage.
"Come on humans Gimme some bugs!"
Andy isn't the jolly holiday character that elicits many kisses and hugs.

He comes down your chimney and licks all around.
He slobbers all over you, your family, the tinsel covered ground.
Searching for termites, while dropping cans of beer.
Andy brings out a mixture of joy and disgusted fear.

"Go shopping or jog off the Christmas fat," bellows Andy,
"while I search for bugs and leave lager and pork all over your flat!"
People flee in terror from this strange looking naked mammal
But at least he leaves beer and meats unlike Ahmed, the Ramadan Camel.

With a Slurp and a Slobber, Andy departs on his enchanted moped
"Happy Boxing Day to all! All the Termites are dead!"
Edited by diggerjohn111, Dec 26 2013, 08:36 AM.
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