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| Thoughts... | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Dec 31 2010, 12:21 PM (289 Views) | |
| Post #1 Dec 31 2010, 12:21 PM | SyncWolf |
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Sometimes somebody comes up to you and asks you how you are. You'll simply say fine, good, or okay. And they'll be content. Does that really mean you are okay? Is everything really good? Just because you answer the question as such, that doesn't make it so. But just how well do you know yourself? At times you feel like you're all alone on this planet, even though you see people around you. Nobody understands you. How could you explain? No like you even try or bother to explain what goes on in your mind. But again you'll just say you're fine. They'll believe you cause they'll see you smile every now and then, at those moments you find just enough distraction from the real problem, to remember what it was like again to have a smile on your face. How well do you know yourself when you know what you have to do but can't even explain to yourself why you don't do it? Even the small and simple things seem like tasks so heavy...Things you know you have to do and want to do..But never do. What drives us to do things? Motivation to roach some goal? What happens if not even that motivation can take you along the road you need to be? Smiling isn't as easy as it may seem. Even the fake smiles are becoming heavier to lift. You don't even want to smile anymore. Why should you? Is there a reason to smile? Look around you, there's a reason to be happy! Right? Well what if that reason also reminds you why you aren't happy...Is it all as perfect as it really seems? Deep inside you know, that if you do some things that everyone else does as well, you'll reach that happy point. Again, you don't do it..You know better, but it doesn't matter. There is only one person that can change your life. That person is yourself. Is it worth changing? It sure as hell isn't worth keeping it as it is. But that doesn't make it easy to change even the smallest thing. As for why I am writing this? I'm not sure. Maybe just to try and get the endless thoughts out of my head? It isn't easy if you have so much going through your mind that once you get halfway, you don't remember what you thought about first. If only you knew how to share those thoughts. Is that not what loved ones are for? To help carry a burden, to help you recover from it and solve them problem, together. Perhaps it isn't all that easy to get your thoughts straightened out. Specially not if you can't even note them all down. You don't remember them all...But they'll remember to find you from time to time, pushing you right back down where you were. Just what exactly are we living for? Is it happiness that you can't hold on to? Love that is so strong, yet so far away? Fun? No fun didn't even come to the picture yet...There is no fun, only distraction of that what you know keeps your mind going in an endless circles of distress. If only life was easier...But it's not a game. You only get to play it once and you have to make the best of it....Though sometimes game over doesn't seem to bad at all. |
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| Post #2 Dec 31 2010, 12:40 PM | SyncWolf |
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At a certain point of the day, you open your eyes. You know you just woke up. Why? Cause everything falls right back into your mind...It's another day you need to find a way for to get through. You wish you could just close your eyes again and pretend it is all a dream. But you know it isn't. You don't want to wake up either. If you had the chance, you'd sleep the entire day and wake up at a point where nobody will bother you anymore. But it doesn't work that way. It are these mornings...Or afternoons as you find it hard to get out of bed without at least staring and thinking for a few hours. But it doesn't get you anywhere. Except that it leaves less time to do what you have to do...Making you feel more forced to do things when you don't want to. You know you should do them right away and just get it over with, if you just do it, you'll have enough time later...But you don't..You don't do it. You keep pushing it off and off. It isn't what makes you happy, the only tears you will like shattering are not those of joy, more so of sadness and anger. Why do you have to wake up, to become angry at yourself within only a few minutes time? Would it not be much better to wake up with a smile? Just not worry about anything for the first few minutes of a day? That would be lovely..But you're not in any situation in which you smile in the morning. Your day starts of just as horrible as it ended. The only difference, you had some distraction that kept your mind off long enough to fall asleep...At least most of the time. How do you face a day that starts off so badly, one you know will end the very same way. Cause you do not feel motivated to do anything that could change all that. It's hard to run through a day when you know you have the power to change it, yet you don't..Cause in your mind you know you'll fail just like all the other times that you tired. What would make this day any different? Get up, do what you have to do! This might just be your lucky day!...Sound like as much bullshit as any other lie in your head...You stop believing after a while. Instead, you think to yourself; One of these days I'm going to pick myself up and get it all back the way it should be. But that is before you realise you thought that very same thing two months ago.. What is time good for, if not to expand the feeling that is there? Which is nice if you're happy.....Lucky them. |
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| Post #3 Jul 5 2011, 02:18 AM | Winx |
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I know this is a really old topic, but... I.. I just.. I just had to bring this topic back to attention.. Sorry.. |
Angels in flight..
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