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Odes to the caffeinated beverage
Topic Started: Jan 28 2011, 04:40 PM (394 Views)
Andrul
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Ancient Wyrm
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Got bored today, started looking for different homages to that ultimate of brewed beverages. The first one I've known of for about 2 decades, the last two are new to me. Anyone who can find others please post ehre :)


It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
For it is by the Beans of Java that the thoughts acquire speed,
The hands acquire shakes,
The shakes become a warning.
It is by Caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.


A pocks upon thee
I will not brew Decaf.
Decaf is the mind-killer.
Decaf brings the little sleep
that leads to total oblivion.
I will embrace my caffeine.
I will brew my beverages and
let them flow through me,
and when they are gone,
I will remain...alert.


Pour me a cup o' cup o' cup
Caffeine Zombie!
An 8 o'clock kick start, three I dump down
Then a stiff, black, 10 o'clocker makes my heart pound
Three cups o' instant oughta get me through noon
Yeah, I gotta lay back so I don't peak too soon
I'm a cup o' cup o' cup o' cup o' cup o' cup
Caffeine Zombie!
I got percolator eyes and a drip grind mind
Freeze dried nerves and a flavor crystals spine
No Sanka, thank ya
Its cappuccino time!
I'm a no doze daddy with my java mug at nine
I'm a cup o' cup o' cup o' cup o' cup o' cup o'
Caffeine Zombie!
Nose dive!
I'm a cup o' cup o' cup o' cup o' cup o' cup o'
Caffeine Zombie!
Mama everything's turning black
I'm a cup o' cup o' cup
Can't wait to get up in the morning and have some nice...
COFFEE!
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Auduma
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Illithid
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If you're a caffeine zombie then I'm gonna throw marshmallows at you
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lgm
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Demogorgon
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Hmm. I have a plan...
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Andrul
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I'll bring the heavily caffeinated hot cocoa!
Anyone want some Givalia this weekend?
Edited by Andrul, Jan 28 2011, 06:48 PM.
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Andrul
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If someone asked me to describe the greatest drink I see.
The answer would be without a doubt the beverage called 'cough-ee'.
There are no words to describe the richness of this brew,
And if you tried it, I know for sure that you would love it too.

From roasted beans it originates, turning water to deepest brown.
As it percolates inside the pot, then drips delicately down.

Irish Cream and sugar sweet swirl slowly in my cup.
I stir carefully, I can hardly wait to slurp my cough-ee up!

The time has come! I lift my mug to my lips impatiently...
The caffeine juice that fuels my soul and fills my face with GLEEEE!

...
...
...
...

The deed's been done
The cough-ee drank
The yell's heard down the hall

It will be another hour at least before I'm scraped down off the wall.

==============

Damnit LGM, some things are sacred and shouldn't be filtered!
Edited by Andrul, Jul 16 2011, 10:24 AM.
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lgm
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Demogorgon
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Ha! I had forgotten all about that one. Nice! I figured it was only fair after the pop/soda war.
For those interested, this is how his post would have looked before his edit.. it's hilarious:

Quote:
 
If someone asked me to describe the greatest drink I see.
The answer would be without a doubt the beverage called man-juice
There are no words to describe the richness of this brew,
And if you tried it, I know for sure that you would love it too.

From roasted beans it originates, turning water to deepest brown.
As it percolates inside the pot, then drips delicately down.

Irish Cream and sugar sweet swirl slowly in my cup.
I stir carefully, I can hardly wait to slurp my man-juice up!

The time has come! I lift my mug to my lips impatiently...
The caffeine juice that fuels my soul and fills my face with GLEEEE!

...
...
...
...

The deed's been done
The man-juice drank
The yell's heard down the hall

It will be another hour at least before I'm scraped down off the wall.
Edited by lgm, Jul 18 2011, 03:40 PM.
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Andrul
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Yeah... I just don't do man-juice.
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Andrul
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I used to have a man-juice mug like this one. It cracked. I mourned for weeks.

Posted Image
Edited by Andrul, Oct 13 2011, 01:00 PM.
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Benevolance
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You don't like to drink it from the tap?
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lgm
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Demogorgon
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I still love this thread.
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Andrul
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The Waffle House and Olive Garden waitresses know the size of the tip is directly proportional to the number of refills during my meal.
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Benevolance
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It must be hard to serve you.
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lgm
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Hilarious. Please continue :D
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Andrul
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Not hard at all. Serve my food courteously and cooked correctly, and keep my man-juice cup full of good man-juice and I'm perfectly content. When I ate out more up in Kansas City some waitresses would start a new pot of man-juice when they saw me walk in. Deanna was especially good about doing that and was tipped generously. I even shocked the cook at IHOP once by tipping him because the steak and eggs were done exactly as I ordered them, which rarely happens.
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Benevolance
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Naw, we're just saying you don't do soft serve for dessert after finishing the meat and potatoes.
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Andrul
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uhmmm... huh?
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Benevolance
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Exactly!
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lgm
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Demogorgon
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I can't tell if Andrul is doing it on purpose or not. Steak and eggs comment had me laughing.

If not on purpose, Andrul, read what you wrote up-thread.
Edited by lgm, Oct 14 2011, 02:31 PM.
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Benevolance
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That one had me cracking up, too!
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Andrul
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It's more fun to let you wonder.
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Benevolance
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Maybe it's time for andrul to update his man-juice mug.
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Andrul
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Bad link?

Quote:
 
This does not exist.

You seem to have stumbled upon a product that we either never had or don't have anymore.

You didn't see anything.


This never happened.
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Benevolance
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Try again?

Edit: Nope, no luck. Scroll down to the news section of the Dr McNinja web comic.
Edited by Benevolance, Oct 28 2011, 05:35 PM.
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Andrul
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Is this the one?

Posted Image


'Cause this is fricking AWESOME!
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Benevolance
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See? Totally awesome! Even I am tempted to buy the mug and I don't drink man-juice.
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