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Desert Hockey
Topic Started: Dec 28 2009, 07:42 PM (683 Views)
Benevolance
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Ancient Wyrm
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Tomorrow night, the Canucks are going to stroll into Phoenix and kick the bejeezus out of those desert dwelling mongrels. Coyotes? No, more like the gayotes. Ha, that taunt never gets old. Unlike your mom.

But, of course, it's another stupid PPV game. What the heck is up with all these PPV games against terrible teams? We shouldn't have to pay money to see the Coyotes play! I'm pretty sure in Phoenix, the team pays fans to come and watch hockey. Stupid Canada and their stupid successful-hockey-teams-not-in-danger-of-off-season-buy-outs-from-bankruptcy-and-relocation-to-Hamilton.

Ah well. I'll be listening to the game online. Maybe we can fire up some DDO during the contest, and heckle each other as we go?
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Kishi
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Illithid
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Lance, you should be thankful that it's pay-per-view. It'll save you the pain of seeing the Coyotes beat the crap out of your Vancouver Casucks! Ha!

If all goes well, I should be back up and running by then from the upgrade, so some DDO sounds like an excellent plan.
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Benevolance
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Ancient Wyrm
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Since I work until 6, I'll probably miss the first few minutes of the game. It'll be a shame to miss the first 5 or 6 Canucks goals, but what can you do?
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Kishi
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Illithid
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I'm going to have to see how my schedule works out this evening- Morgan works until 7:30, so I probably won't be back home until 8 or so, depending on what happens with dinner.

But that should give you some time before I show up to get all the crying done- be brave, Lance. It's just a hockey game, nothing to commit maple-flavored seppuku over.

Oh, right, you're Canadian. It's the #1 reason to commit maple-flavored seppuku. Well, pass along my pre-emptive condolences to your widow.
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Benevolance
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Ancient Wyrm
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You should be back in time for the 3rd period. I'm going to try and convince my parents that buying the PPV against Phoenix is a good idea and go watch the game at their place. It's going to be a hard sell, though. I mean...Phoenix? Why not just have the Canucks play a bunch of toothless, crippled orphans or else feed Christians to some lions?
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Kishi
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Illithid
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Well, because seeing the Canucks lose to orphans would just be sad. If they lose to a professional hockey team, at least you can rationalize it and isn't so rough.

I'm about to my limit of lazy white trash shenanigans from my in-laws today, so I'll probably head out early and go camp in a book store for a while before Morgan gets off work, so I should be on around for the start of the game.
Edited by Kishi, Dec 29 2009, 05:44 PM.
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The Nighthawk
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Bugbear
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Goddammit.
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Kishi
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Illithid
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Don't worry about it, man- I saved some extra mocking, just for you.
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Benevolance
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I think the parts that really hurt him are: a) someone there had to pay money to watch a PPV Coyotes game, b) where the Canucks lost to a whole bunch of ex-Canucks, c) in a really, really slow-paced dull game, d) that featured Jovo-cop scoring, e) while you and I rampaged across the penninsula in our self-imposed quest to radically prune the monsterous humanoid populations in DDO.
Edited by Benevolance, Dec 30 2009, 01:26 PM.
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Kishi
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Yeah, I certainly wouldn't have wanted to pay $15 or $20 or however much for that game. I've never quite understood the point of pay-per-view anyway, it never seems worth the money to me.

But halfway through the season, the Coyotes are looking pretty decent.
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Benevolance
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It's hard to argue with a 10 game win-streak at home.
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Kishi
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Illithid
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Alas, and there goes that streak as the Sharks beat us on a shoot-out for the second time in four days. Damn.
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lgm
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I was checking out the standings and Phoenix is doing really good. Vancouver isn't too shabby themselves but Atlanta is only in second place due to a sucky division. The southern plague once again saps the strength out of yet another team and returns them to mediocrity.
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Benevolance
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Vancouver and Phoenix get a rematch this week, only this time the Canucks are going to really show up and play. Honest. Pretty please?
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Kishi
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Illithid
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Well... I'll talk to the guys. I might be able to convince them to go easy on you this time- maybe we'll just start our second-string goalie. Oh, wait, that didn't help last time. Maybe we'll get someone out of the stands? I'll see what we can do.
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Benevolance
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We came back from 3-0 to beat St Louis 4-3 the other night. The best part of the highlights was the end of the game, where the shell-shocked fans were wondering what just happened. The comeback spanned about 5 minutes. :D
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Andrul
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Aren't those St Louis guys swell? They felt so bad about whipping your boys so badly that they decided to let them win. gee those guys are swell!
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Kishi
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Illithid
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The holiday season, time for giving and all that.
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lgm
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Atlanta just did something similar. Took a 3-0 lead at the end of the second period and were in overtime at the end of the third! While that sucked badly, it's worse when the winning goal was scored because the Thrasher goalie was behind the freakin' net when they came charging down to score. Way to go, guys.
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Benevolance
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Maybe Atlanta is hoping to get some good draft picks next season?
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lgm
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Demogorgon
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Does the NHL draft work similar to other sports where the worst performing teams get early picks? If that's the case, the Leafs have a better chance in the draft. They royally suck.
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Kishi
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Illithid
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The NHL's got a weird way of draft ranking. The non-playoff teams are put in a lottery, but they can only move so many places from their ranking by record- no one can drop more than one spot or move up more than four.

Last year, after they had a particularly rough start to the season, one of the guys who posts on the Diamondbacks board I help run was trying to rally support for what he called Tankapalooza '09 so we could get the top draft pick this year.
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Benevolance
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Yeah, it's a weird draft lottery. The worse you are, the better your chance of having a high draft, but it is no guarantee. And the way they weight the favour for the bad teams is the worse you are, the more chances you have to win. You get extra keno balls. Because clearly, based on past performance, your team doesn't already have enough balls. But like Kishi said, they cap how far a team can move from it's given spot as determined by the previous season's performance.
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lgm
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A question about moving spots: Is this limitation applied to the lottery, making draft deals with other teams or both?
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Benevolance
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The movement only applies to the lottery. It's to prevent a team that is already strong from getting top pick with a lucky draw. Personally, I disagree with this philosophy. The drawing should be based entirely on results, or entirely random.

But anyway, teams are free to trade for whatever picks they want, with whatever personnel or draft picks or cash they have available. That's usually what the Leaf's do. Trade away talent for crappy picks, then trade away the picks for worse players than they had. I think it's all an elaborate social psychology experiment to determine just how stupid Torontonians are.
Edited by Benevolance, Jan 2 2010, 06:50 PM.
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