|We hope you enjoy your visit.|
You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.
Join our community!
If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:
|Reflections about growing up.; Age is never just a number.|
|Topic Started: Jun 4 2012, 06:02 AM (81 Views)|
|entrancer||Jun 4 2012, 06:02 AM Post #1|
So since this is the "serious" board, I felt it to be the appropriate place for me to spill the beans on how life has been since I first met GA - because I really haven't been here for a long time.
When I first started posting in this forum, I was... what... fifteen? Now, I'm about to turn nineteen in a couple more weeks, and looking back, so much has changed so rapidly. I used to be such a child - one full of eager desire to fit in and be surrounded in a social sphere. If I look at the high school freshies walking around these days, it's so hard to imagine me being one of them; but that's the fact - I was. At one point. I was silly, ridiculous, exasperatingly overeager about so many useless things, and childish.
But you know, that's not as bad as it sounds. For every child, memories like that - memories of being a KID, with a child's spontaneity and a child's lack of too serious concerns (and a excess of too many small ones which are the biggest crises, like, EVER~), is exactly what helps us get through later on with the difficulties of being an adult. Because we look back, and we recognize that we had our days, and that if everything was the biggest and greatest challenge to us when we were kids while we're able to look back now and consider them petty and silly, then there must be a day when the difficulties of today won't look so harsh when the 'we of the future' kick back and think of the things we did 'today'.
Looking at the world at the age of nineteen differs drastically from how it looked when I was just entering high school, 'ready to be a big kid'. It's no longer a matter of being a small kid or a big kid anymore - it's a matter of growing up and becoming an adult. One more year and you hit twenty - and another year later you're legal to drink. If you toss another year over that as a regular undergraduate college student, you're going to find yourself graduating from college, ready to sneak off for more education or just pop out of the oven ready to enter the society.
I think the bubble that we coexist in as kids in K-12 reoccurs again in college. Although it's a bigger bubble, there's a lot of times when people enter college, and spend four years just engrossed in a college lifestyle that once you graduate and get tossed out into reality, it's not a matter of just studying or taking out loans to pay for rent and life. Life is much more complicated than that. You're lucky if you're able to realize this before you enter college or early during it, so that while you're in the safety of that bubble, you rigorously train yourself (THIS IS SPARTA!-style) within the safety of that bubble so that when you get out, you're ready to attack the world.
My worldly worries of today consists of GPA, grades, scholarships, internships, career outlook, opposite gender, and the future. The future consists of working in society, and fulfilling my desires - my ambitions, before I get too old to enjoy them. Yeah - aging is a concern that's starting to rear it's head. You know, when you're a kid, you look at your parents, your friends' parents, these adults, and you think they're aliens sometimes. From lightyears away. You are aware that you'll one day become like them, but it's kind of in a mindset of "getting on a spaceship and traveling millions of lightyears away to meet an alien". Not something you'll do now, not something that you'll attempt to do anytime soon, not something that you can seriously imagine of happening in the foreseeable future. But then, you get to my age. Physically, you're as completely developed as your parent is. White hairs are no longer a "OOOOOOOH I HAVE A WHITE HAIR OMG OMG OMG HOW EXCITING" event. Natural death is no longer as unimaginable as it used to be. Friends and family who you once acknowledged as 'your kind' aka not adults are starting to get married and have kids. That theoretically means that you, who is a part of 'your kind', will be doing that soon too - adult things.
It's a little intimidating.
Okay maybe a little more than a little.
But it's with the faith that one day, I'll be looking back on the worries of today the same way I am looking back at the worries of yesterday right now. With an accomplished ease and sureness. Because with every year, the more I age, I'm growing to fit each year whether I realize that I am or not. It's the confidence of believing in myself.
|1 0 0 % . q u a l i t y . p o s t . p l e a s e|
|Miharu||Jun 5 2012, 07:00 PM Post #2|
Well now, entra. That's a hella long post; and quite a perspective you got there.
We're both of the same age, but I don't think I'm as matured haha I'm still kinda living in my parents' bubbles... Childish? Yes. Yea I am. It's because I got bullied in college. (; I hope you're not experiencing the same thing.
And actually I was going to type a longer post than this but my boyfriend dragged me to sleep. I'm surprised you didn't imply anything about your love life in your "worldly worries of today" ;P And no you're pretty don't give me any bulls- I mean yea. You're pretty. I used to believe that everyone has to like someone or else they're crazy....And I still believe in that.
Toodle-doo~ And I still have to post. And edit my chara profile SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I'll edit this later. Couldn't find a place to save this. <_<
Spoiler: click to toggle
Credit goes to the M.I.A Aki =(
Farewell, Riku, Ayame~
|Kagami Konoe||Jun 6 2012, 02:39 AM Post #3|
I would probably sound really childish in comparison to you guys, but I would like to think I grew up somewhat since 4 years ago when I first joined this forum. I was 12, and now I'm 16. When I think of it, time passes by really fast. It felt like yesterday, I was only an elementary kid that was going to go to middle school. But before I knew it, next year I'm going to be in my last year in high school.
Most people may think that high school is a place where you have fun the most---the time where you first have your boyfriend/girlfriend and create many memories. Don't get me wrong, I do think going to school is fun because of the friends. But I've always thought that school is a practice and preparation ground for my adult life (aka getting thrown into the society). Friends can make connections for collaborations of some sort. Even my working habit in school will be my working habit in real life. Parents can't be my security blanket anymore because I need to make my own living. These thoughts are the things that made me make a decision to not have a boyfriend until I finish school or until I can get a job because I can't afford to have any lasting distractions to get to my goal.
Growing up and starting to have these kind of thoughts made me realize that although I don't want to go back to my childhood, I miss all the time where I don't have to worry about anything other than missing my favorite tv shows.
But now, my worries consist of knowing what's my goal and purpose in life. I need to decide what I want next year so I can take the right classes in university to get to my goal, yet I haven't even decided on what my goal really is. It's frustrating for me. It doesn't help that I have this feeling and urge that I should've reached somewhere right now because I always have this voice telling me at the back of my head that I'm probably going to die young or something.
And then two of my former classmates from 8th grade to 10(h grade died in the span of 4 months. Now I'm starting to think that anyone can just suddenly drop dead, especially when you least expect them to.
This rant is slowly turning into a personal issue lol. But just to wrap this up, I'm torn between choosing music and drawing. Haha this is horrible. I hope I don't sound annoying or childish or anything pfft.
Does this count as reflections about growing up though? Lol.
Edited by Kagami Konoe, Jun 6 2012, 02:46 AM.
ORIHARA JUN |
Spoiler: click to toggle
AND MITSUKI AIZAWA
Spoiler: click to toggle
|1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)|
|« Previous Topic · Discussions · Next Topic »|