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Jack and Bill.; The Senseless stories..
Topic Started: Apr 16 2009, 11:28 PM (92 Views)
Brovo
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The Grand Creator.
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I have been rather inactive on this website. I hope to get back into the activity again assuming I don't accidentally blow up my machine and watch the embers fall around me. Anyways, these are silly stories staring my two primary characters "Jack and Bill" who go on nonsensical adventures of any kind. From comedy to intrigue. Feel free to post to give me your responses. Exploring both the ideas of the past and the ideas of the future, welcome to the absolute mockery of a story..

The Adventures of Jack and Bill! What, you were expecting something epic or something?

Chocolate Valley.

Jack and Bill were climbing up a rather steep hill in the middle of several foot hills. "You just had to bring us out here, didn't you Bill.." Jack the level four Paladin complains as Bill the level five Ranger shoves him lightly before saying. "Look, you wanted adventure? This is the quickest way to adventure." Jack scoffs at Bill's comment before reaching the crest of the hill and seeing a Valley below. Deep inside this valley was light green bushes lining each side of the steep cliff sides, the valley itself being only about two kilometers long. Inside the valley snorting could be heard as an Orcish warrior of the tenth level was doing something rather gory and grim inside the valley.

Jack felt a little sick as Bill climbed up beside him and froze. The Orcish warrior brought a shriveled head of what looked like a child above his head, as Bill quietly whispered. "Don't say anything Jack.." Jack, not hearing Bill and of course having the brains of a pea when it comes to subtly, asks Bill in a raised tone of voice. "My mother did what with whom!?" The Orcish warrior tosses the head aside and spins around to the dismay of Bill.

The GM of course being an evil bastard decides that now of all times was the time to show off the fact that the Orc had more muscles then three Barbarians put together. Jack glares at the sky and yells in an extremely pissed off tone of voice. "HEY! HOW THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KILL THAT HUH!?" Bill Shakes his head at Jack's oblivious stupidity. "He is the GM, evil is his job.." Bill says in a slightly annoyed tone of voice as the Orc roared loudly and pulled out a battle axe the size of a small child.

The nameless level ten Orc begins charging at our heroes despite being almost half a kilometer away and for a moment, despair crossed into the hearts of our heroes Jack the level four Paladin and Bill the level five Ranger stood in the face of their apparent death.. Then, out from the bushes sprung out one child. The Orc stops for a moment, confused with the child's behavior before grabbing the child by the neck of his shirt and yelling something in Orcish which neither our heroes (nor you the reader) could understand. "That child is in need! We must save him!" Jack yells triumphantly before Bill taps his shoulder and whispers. "Those aren't children those are Brownies. This is called the valley of the red Brownies."

Just as the Orc was about to toss the Brownie onto the ground, two more Brownies pop out from the bushes. Then two more, and two more, all wielding little daggers. The Orc drops the Brownie and holds his battle axe with two hands, attacking the Brownies wildly. Bill and Jack only stare at the scene unfolding before them with slight shock and extreme awe. For every one Brownie slain by the Orc, two more would pop out of the bushes. Finally after fifty Brownies laid dead on the valley floor the Orc turned towards Bill and Jack once again, sheathing his battle axe and pounding on his chest. "Wait a minute, why didn't we take our chance to run?.." Bill asks in a somewhat confused tone of voice as Jack mutters. "Because the GM would have simply made Vorpal Bunnies fall from the sky again.." Bill takes a minute to process this before smiling and saying in a sheepish tone of voice. "Oh right.. I forgot about that!"

The Orc pulls out his battle axe as the ground begins to shake. What was it now? What possible danger could await the Orcish warrior and our heroes? Could it force them to band together in some gay ripoff of the Lord of the Rings? Really? Suddenly Brownies flood from the bushes on either side of the valley, hundreds pour out as the Orc fights valiantly before finally succumbing to the endless numbers of Brownies, simply covering the Orc in a literal flood of Brownies. Jack and Bill sit there, completely stupified before Jack says. "The GM must be really bored in his spare time.." Bill nods in silent agreement as the Brownies finish ripping the Orc to shreds and running back into the bushes.

Jack looks at Bill, and before he can open his mouth to make one more stupid comment Bill quickly interjects with. "Yes, I do believe that walking into that valley is not a good idea.." Jack slowly walks backwards away from the valley as Bill silently follows. . .

Will we find out what Jack and Bill's ultimate goal is? Will we find out where they are heading and why there are going there? Lastly, will we EVER find out how the hell hundreds of Brownies could fit in just a few bushes? Find out whenever I get off my lazy ass to write another one..
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Brovo
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The Grand Creator.
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Archived until I get around to posting in it again..

Which may be never.
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