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| Four Against Nature: The Board Game!; No, that's not a terrible pun on forums. | |
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| Topic Started: Oct 29 2008, 07:07 PM (208 Views) | |
| Jeff | Oct 29 2008, 07:07 PM Post #1 |
Lord of Pie & BBWs
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Today is the day we at Four Against Nature will rise and take our rightful place in the stars - for we are the ONLY forum (that I know of) to have... IT'S OWN BOARD GAME!!! Ludicrous, you say? Madness, you suggest? Poorly-drawn, you jest? MAYBE SO! But even still, a board game is a board game none the less. But if this is a board game, I hear some of you already saying, where's the board? Well, shut up and listen, you putz, I'm getting to that. Here... is the board!  Yes, I suck at coloring and handwriting. Maybe now you understand why I don't do either for my BBW sketches. More importantly, this is our board. Well, what about pieces? I have pieces too.  You may use these if you desire, or make your own if you can do better, or if you're just particularly lazy... *Ahem* Anyways, now that we have a board and pieces there must be rules, right? Well, obviously, you putz, stop getting ahead of me. Basically, you can play with as many people as you have and/or have pieces for. Everyone starts at the Four Against Nature HQ, that building up at the top-left marked "FAN" in front of the space marked "START", in case you either can't read my chicken scratch or are just illiterate. You then decide turn order by simply rolling one die per person and the highest number goes first - in the result of a tie, the ones who tied roll until someone wins. On any given turn, you roll two dice at the same time and go the number they add up to. Green spaces are "Safe" and nothing happens on those. Blue spaces represent quiz cards, which I'll detail momentarily. Red spaces represent event cards. Black spaces are "Cog" spaces, named after FAN-regular, Cog-Sean and I'll also explain those in a moment. The purple spaces are set event spaces and each serves a unique purpose. The end objective is the Hardware Store, in the bottom-left. You play until every player has reached the hardware store, and winner is decided by who gets there first, second, third, etc. However, with the exception of the START space (FAN HQ) and the END space (the Hardware Store), two pieces may not occupy the same space at the same time. If this happens, each player must take 1 die each and roll and the player with the higher number moves their piece ahead one, and the player with the lower number must move their piece back one. If this results in moving a piece onto a space with another piece, repeat the process until every space on the board is either empty, or only has one occupant. You cannot "lose" the game. The game continues until all players have arrived at the end, or the remaining players forfeit of their own volition. The game, in addition to the board, pieces and players, will also require two decks of cards. Since we can't mass-produce said cards, we'll simply post their criteria here and those who want to play can make them for themselves. Blue Spaces - Quiz Cards Anyone on FAN can suggest quiz questions. However, they need to be questions that meet 2 criteria first. 1) They must be questions testing knowledge that anyone can know. Do not ask questions about what you got for your birthday when you were five. These will not be acknowledged by the "official" deck standard, which will be posted and updated here. 2) They must be objective. Do not propose questions that are really asking about opinion. Even if all your friends agree that Jack Bauer is awesome, that's fine for YOU, but the entire world doesn't agree. Chuck Norris could kick his pansy ass anyways. If these criteria are met and I deem the question worthy, it will be added to the official deck standard. However, you are not obligated to play by the ODS. For instance, in my German class, I played a very similar game and used German vocabulary words as quiz cards. Due to the nature of the game and how long the board is, I wouldn't play a game with a deck consisting of any less than 30 cards. If you land on a blue space, any other player in the game will draw the top quiz card and read aloud the question. There is no time limit unless those playing agree upon one before the game is started. In addition, the player being asked the question may ask to have the question repeated as many times as he/she should require, but cannot ask for hints or for help from other players, unless playing in teams. If he/she gets the question correct, then he/she may more their piece forward the number of spaces required upon the card. Conversely, should they give an incorrect answer, or are unable to give any answer at all, then they will move their piece back as many spots as the card indicates. The space the person then lands upon will not be activated. As a general rule, the difficulty of the question should be indicative of how far the movement is, IE: hard questions have higher forward numbers, but lower back numbers and vice-versa. The max number a single question can move you in either direction is 12. Red Spaces - Event Cards When a player lands on a red space, he/she will draw the top card from the Event Deck and follow the instructions the card prescribes. In this instance, the Event Cards' instructions trump any other rule in the game in the case of the event's criteria violating any other rule. All of FAN is encouraged and welcomed to contribute ideas for Event Cards, particularly if they're amusing. Example: "You're too busy playing Cave Story. Miss your next turn." etc. Black Spaces - Cog's Die If you land on a black spot on the map, your piece has fallen under the dark powers of all that doth rawk. As a result, you must roll the die in accordance to Cog's laws. The number that comes up corresponds to what the player must then do. 1 - Cog says you lose. Go to the rock. 2 - Cog pities your pathetic life. Move forward 2 spaces, peon. 3 - Cog decides that the glass IS half empty. Go back 3 spaces. 4 - Cog shakes things up. Trade places with the closest (in space number, not physical distance) player. 5 - Cog breaks your legs with a lead pipe. You may only roll 1 die next turn. 6 - Cog admits his loss. You may roll again and activate any space you land on except another black space. Like the event cards, Cog's laws trump normal game rules in the event of rule contradiction. Also, Cog's laws will trump event card effects. Purple Spaces - Events Here I will detail the rules of event spaces, in the order you encounter them. START - Not technically an event, all pieces begin the game here. THE ROCK - Landing here does nothing, but other events are tied to it. WHIP'D - You have been whipped viciously by Rem's rampant whip-flailing. Go to the hospital, but skip your next turn to heal. REM - Rem viciously attacks you and chases you back to the START space. HOSPITAL - Landing here does nothing, but other events are tied to it. ROOT - Root asks you to please be careful. You may only use one die in your next turn. LAKE - If you land here, you immediately jump to the POND. POND - If you land here, you immediately jump to the LAKE. SEAN - Sean's insanity has influenced your dice with the powers of chaos and uncertainty. Take one die in each hand and roll them. Take the number of the left die and have the number of the right die subtracted from it. The end result will be the distance traveled. If negative, move backward. (L - R = #) JEFF - Jeff decides it might be best to go visit THE ROCK. Go to THE ROCK and stop bitching. SLIDE - Slide down the slide. You arrive at the black space on the other side (where the arrow is pointing). Do not activate the space's effect if you arrive there via the slide. JEFF'S CIRCLE - You are trapped in here as soon as you arrive in it. You may not bypass the circle. You must roll a "7" to leave it. When you do, go straight to the black space outside it and end your turn (IE: Do not go 7 spaces, because you burn up 6 of them in the circle itself). COW SKULL - This is a busy crossing for cattle. If you land here, you are stampeded by cattle and must go to the hospital. END - You've arrived at the hardware store! You win the game! EASY MODE - For you wusses out there. Basically, I realized this game comes off as being INSANELY sadistic. As a result, there is an "Easy" mode which can also double as a quickplay mode. The game plays essentially the same except with the following changes: 1) Event spaces are treated as Green Spaces. 2) Cog's laws 1 & 5 are treated as re-rolls. 3) Any backwards movement numbers over 6 are halved and rounded down to the next real number where applicable. 4) Jeff's Circle may be skipped. 5) Any event card that moves you to a prescribed event space are ignored. CHALLENGE MODE - For you psychopaths out there. For those... special individuals who think my game isn't yet comparable to I Wanna Be the Guy and actually WANT IT TO BE SO, I've outlined special guidelines for those seeking a blood-pressure-raising trek through the game. 1) You only use 1 die per turn. 2) Jeff's Circle may only be cleared by rolling a '3' on two occasions while inside it (doesn't have to be in a row). 3) All backwards movement values on quiz and event cards are doubled. 4) The "WHIP'D", "LAKE" and "SLIDE" events are ignored. 5) The "SEAN" event space doubles the value on the right die. (L - [Rx2] = #) 6) Green spaces are treated as Black spaces. 7) Cog's laws 2 & 6 are treated as re-rolls. If there are any questions, I will field them here. We are now also taking submissions for question and event cards. Enjoy! |
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Come visit me and my thought processes at my website: http://www.publishedauthors.net/tdotdw/news.html "In the cold light, justice and morality always look corny and you can't wave the flag and look cool. But like it or not, society needs its heroes." - John Hart; actor who played The Lone Ranger. | |
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| Jeff | Oct 29 2008, 07:33 PM Post #2 |
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Lord of Pie & BBWs
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Time for the FAN: Board Game FAQ! Or FANBGFAQ, if you prefer. Q) What's the story? A) There has to be a story? Q) Yes. A) Oh. Well, you're trying to get to the hardware store. Q) Why? A) ... Okay, I give. It's homage to Weird Al's song "Hardware Store" and Phoenix Root's rampant abuse of it. Q) Wouldn't it have been easier to go AROUND all this to the hardware store? A) Where would the fun be in that? Q) Okay, what does this REALLY have to do with FAN or forums in general? A) Absolutely nothing. Q) What's the deal with the pieces? A) Originally, it was going to be the faces of the admins of FAN, that is, Sean, Root, Rem and myself. However, I realized how redundant that would get, so I made items representing them, and then some others sort of in jest of how absurd some of the pieces in Monopoly were. I mean, why was a battleship buying Boardwalk anyways? Q) Why did you make this game? A) There was nothing better to do, and I thought it could be fun. Q) This game is too hard! A) Admittedly so. Q) Well?! A) The game is harder because it's not aimed for small children like some other board games. I'm not trying to reinvent the board game, but I am trying to bring it to an older audience who might have a sadistic side. Q) Is there an easier way to do this? A) If you insist, there IS an easy mode I'll soon detail in the main instructions. Q) Thank you. A) You're welcome. Q) This game is too easy! A) You're joking? Well, that's fine. I'll make a hard version too. Q) Why do the green spaces do nothing? A) You don't want a breather every now and then? Q) Why are all the spaces different sizes? A) It's a complex metaphor about the random and whimsical nature about the path all mankind must travel before arriving at our destinies. Q) No, seriously, what's the deal with the space sizes? A) I was lazy. Q) What's the deal with Jeff's Circle? A) I love too much. Q) What's the meaning of life, the universe and everything? A) I'm ignoring you now. |
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Come visit me and my thought processes at my website: http://www.publishedauthors.net/tdotdw/news.html "In the cold light, justice and morality always look corny and you can't wave the flag and look cool. But like it or not, society needs its heroes." - John Hart; actor who played The Lone Ranger. | |
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| Jeff | Oct 29 2008, 08:46 PM Post #3 |
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Lord of Pie & BBWs
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Official Deck Standard (ODS) 1.0 complete list. Quick reference guide- Forward = F Backward = B -Quiz Deck/Blue Spaces- 1) True/False - All protists are single-celled. (False). F - 5, Back B - 2 2) True/False - "Mama" Cass Elliot choked to death on a ham sandwich. (False). F - 3, B - 3 3) In the first MegaMan X title for the Super Nintendo, how many "Sigma" levels are present? (4). F - 3, B -2 4) Edward D. Wood Jr. did NOT direct which of the following movies? A) Dracula, B) Night of the Ghouls, C) Bride of the Monster (A) F - 8, B - 3 5) What line has been infamously misattributed to Humphrey Bogart's character in the movie classic "Casablanca"? ("Play it again, Sam") F - 3, B - 5 6) What was Harry S. Truman's middle name? (S) F - 7, B - 3 7) Mr. T used to be a bodyguard for which famous boxer? (Muhammad Ali) F - 6, B - 2 8) True/False - In the Disney movie, The Rescuers, two frames contain images of a topless woman. (True) F - 7, B - 4 9) What is the formula of the Pythagorean Theorem? (a^2 + b^2 = c^2) F - 3, B - 5 10) In the equation y = (1 / X), x =/= ? (x =/= 0 [because 1 / 0 does not exist]) F - 5, B - 7 11) 16 blackbirds are sitting on a telephone line. 9 of them flew away. How many left? (9) F - 6, B - 4 12) i = ? (The square root of -1 [Negative one]) F - 2, B - 6 13) What's the periodic abbreviation for the element "Lead"? (Pb) F - 5, B - 5 14) Name one of the alphanumeric letters that the Japanese language does not have an equivalent of. ('C', 'L' or 'V') F - 5, B - 3 15) What's the German word for "Armadillo"? (Neunbandgurteltier) F - 10, B - 1 16) What song became a popular internet gag, often accompanied by an image of a girl twirling a leek? (Loituma's "Ieva's Polka") F - 7, B - 3 17) What band performed "The Battle of Evermore"? (Led Zeppelin) F - 4, B - 4 18) Name any two of the four members of "The Beatles". (John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr.) F - 3, B - 8 19) What was the name of the famous author who penned "A Christmas Carol", "A Tale of Two Cities" and "Oliver Twist"? (Charles Dickens) F - 2, B - 12 20) What is Hydrogen's atomic number? (1) F - 3, B - 5 21) True/False - Charlie Chaplin once lost a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest. (True) F - 5, B - 5 22) True/False - "Sing a Song of Six Pence" was used as a code to recruit pirates. (False) F - 3, B - 7 23) The dish, chop suey, is what country in origin? A) Chinese, B) Korean, C) American (C) F - 6, B - 4 24) What was the youngest recorded age for a human pregnancy? (5 years) F - 7, B - 3 25) True/False - Dragnet's Sgt. Joe Friday character frequently implored female informants to provide "Just the facts, ma'am." (False) F - 8, B - 3 26) Which of the following is fatally poisonous to humans? A) Powdered glass, B) Oleander, C) Poinsettia (B) F - 4, B - 6 27) What is the definitive article in English (article being the term coming prior to a noun)? ("The") F - 3, B - 7 28) What small creature did the Swedish navy mistake for enemy submarines? (Minks) F - 8, B - 4 29) What country is adjacent to Greenland? (None, it's water-locked on every side) F - 7, B - 8 30) What Rick Astley song went to the #1 spot on USA, UK and Canada pop charts in 1987 and has since become a widespread internet phenomenon? ("Never Gonna Give You Up"/RickRoll) F - 4, B -7 -Event Deck/Red Spaces- 1) Go to the rock. 2) You're playing a board game made by a rival company. Lose your next turn. 3) You stay out in the sun too long and get sunburned. Reduce the value of your next 2 rolls by 4. Cannot go lower than 1. 4) Your mother thinks this game is too dangerous and that you need to be put somewhere safer. Go to Root's space. 5) Jeff gives you a piggyback ride. Move ahead 3 spaces. 6) Summon Cog upon one of your opponents! Makes one chosen opponent roll for Cog's laws. (Can be used at any time after obtaining. Discard after use.) 7) You get held back in school! Go back 6 spaces! Why? We don't know. Just do it. 8) You create, produce, direct and star in your own movie, so move ahead 5 spaces. However, it bombs, so move back 7 spaces. 9) 10 Minutes to Dinnertime! Roll one dice to move forward and then skip your next turn! 10) Explosive flatulence ruins yet another date. Go to Rem's space for many whippings. 11) You sprain your ankle attempting to perform a stunt from a TV show. Skip your next turn. 12) You accidentally let slip that you like Uwe Boll films. You get your face mercilessly mashed into The Rock. So go to the rock, where you belong. 13) You have a hanger in your head. Go to Sean's space. 14) You seem fantastic, hey, hey, hey. Move ahead 7 spaces. 15) You write a pleasant short story, only to have it mutilated and shipped to death on fanfiction.net. Go back 12 spaces and cry yourself to sleep. 16) You built a homemade flamethrower! Hold onto this card and use it to make another player skip a turn. Discard after use. 17) You discovered tokusatsu shows. Go to Jeff's space. 18) Time and space are tinker toys. Select any rival player to trade places with or move ahead 5 spaces. 19) Payday! Move ahead 6 spaces or make a rival player move back 3. 20) The pen is mightier than the sword, but bringing a sword to a gunfight is just a bad idea. Hold onto this card until you enter a duel over a space. Discard this card at that time and move ahead one while your rival moves back one. 21) A heard of wild guinea pigs has kidnapped you in your sleep! Roll one die. If the result is odd (1/3/5) move back 4 spaces. If the result is even (2/4/6) move forward 4 spaces. 22) You're snowed in! Skip your next turn and get the icicles off your nose. 23) Befriended a pack rat! Hold onto this card until you use it. Use this card to steal a Hold-Onto card from a rival player, then discard this card. 24) Cog's arrived! Roll for Cog's Law! 25) Bummer! You wipe out on your surf board and now have a mouth full of sand! Go back 8 spaces and recompose yourself. 26) Yngwie Malmsteen is unimpressed by your licks, so he unleashed the fury on you. Go straight to the hospital. 27) It's war! You and the closest (in spaces) player must roll one die each and the highest number wins. Winner moves forward 10 spaces, loser moves backwards 5 spaces. 28) Auntie Em! Auntie Em! It's a twister! Any players currently in Jeff's Circle are blasted back to start. 29) A giant stag beetle ruins your airline plans. You may only use one die next turn. 30) What luck! Roll again and trigger the space you land on! 31) Invite your friends over for Mario Party! Bring everyone to your space, then fight for it! 32) Jeff shows you the shortcut! Hold onto this card until you arrive at Jeff's Circle. Once you're in it, discard this card and immediately move on to the next panel beyond the circle without rolling. |
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Come visit me and my thought processes at my website: http://www.publishedauthors.net/tdotdw/news.html "In the cold light, justice and morality always look corny and you can't wave the flag and look cool. But like it or not, society needs its heroes." - John Hart; actor who played The Lone Ranger. | |
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| Sean | Oct 30 2008, 07:33 AM Post #4 |
The ⑥of Four Against Nature
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Funny. I know where number 11 came from, you dick |
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| Cog-Sean | Oct 30 2008, 04:15 PM Post #5 |
Doctor Seanafunkilus's musterion of Rock
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Question... What happens if I am playing this game, and someone lands on a red space, and gets #6 under Event Deck/Red Spaces, and then summons me upon myself? does teh universe implode? |
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"A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him." | |
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| Root | Oct 30 2008, 04:28 PM Post #6 |
The Speaker for the Dead
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No, we just whip out the card-board cutout of you with a fake mustache on it. And, here are two math questions as per the request of Sir Jeff. 1) What is the Pythagorean Theorem? What is it used for? A: (a^2 + b^2 = c^2; Find the hypotenuse of a right triangle) 2) In the equation y = (1 / X), x =/= ? A: x =/= 0 (because 1 / 0 does not exist) As far as the foward movement / backward movement goes...let's say... Foward; Backward 1) 3; 4 2) 7; 5 Edited by Root, Oct 31 2008, 02:47 PM.
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Does being the only sane one make me the insane one, in a sort of way? Though my eyes could see, I was still a blind man; Though my mind could think, I still was a madman... "Yes there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run...there's still time to change the road you're on" | |
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| Sean | Oct 30 2008, 07:21 PM Post #7 |
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The ⑥of Four Against Nature
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Uh, Root. You need to give the answer for the person to write on the card as well as a Forward\Back value. |
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| Rem | Oct 31 2008, 01:42 PM Post #8 |
Why yes, I do like snickerdoodles.
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WE SHOULD GO ON VENT AND PLAY THIS TOGETHER. Of course, we'd all need to have dice. (Or just use a virtual die online.) Rooty, get your frigging computer fixed! |
 Have you ever wondered what color air is? | |
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| ddrattack | Oct 31 2008, 04:39 PM Post #9 |
The DDR of all things Rythm
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Darn, I'm not included... 
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| Jeff | Oct 31 2008, 05:36 PM Post #10 |
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Lord of Pie & BBWs
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Well, when I set off to begin the project, only the 4 admins were going to be a part of it. Then Cog got drafted when I needed someone |
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Come visit me and my thought processes at my website: http://www.publishedauthors.net/tdotdw/news.html "In the cold light, justice and morality always look corny and you can't wave the flag and look cool. But like it or not, society needs its heroes." - John Hart; actor who played The Lone Ranger. | |
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12:38 PM Nov 27
