Phoenix Root: The Nyarn Edition

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Phoenix Root: The Nyarn Edition; Now (in one piece) better than ever before!
Topic Started: Jul 6 2008, 04:51 PM (197 Views)
Sean	Oct 25 2008, 04:44 PM Post #51
The ⑥of Four Against Nature Posts: 730 Group: Four Against Nature Member #1 Joined: Jul 6, 2008 Quote Deep-minded, covered in about three layers of nerdiness.	Furries just plain freak me out.



Root	Oct 26 2008, 12:51 PM Post #52
The Speaker for the Dead Posts: 584 Group: Four Against Nature Member #2 Joined: Jul 6, 2008 Quote If you're going through hell, keep going.	No need to fear, more Phoenix Root is here! Yes, I'm going to try my best at using all the cheesy-one liners and cliches that I can! <Time: ??? Location: Unknown> <Jack the Furrer> Village Furries, have you located those meddlesome Phoenix Root characters? <Furry #1> We believe we have...some place called the.... <Furry #3> Hardware Store. I know it well, they have spoken about it before. <J. The Furrer> I trust that you will be able to dispatch them without any problems? <Furry #2> Of course. Everything will be taken care of <Furry #4> Yeah, we'll take care of it! Furry power! <J. The Furrer> Then confront them before they obtain any sort of threatening devices <Furry #1> With pleasure, fuur you sir...we'll even use one of our best numbers <J. The Furrer> Excellent, I wish to see a replay of it...heh heh heh <Furry #3> As you wish. And with that, we're off! <Furry #1> Village Furries, away! Scurries away <Furry #2> On it! Scurries <Furry #3> Shipper away! Glides away <Furry #4> Wait up! Scurries <J. The Furrer> You don't stand a chance anymore, Phoenix Root. <October 26, 2008. Somewhere Completely Different> <PhoenixRoot> Damn it Jeffdot, that is your FIFTH Mountain Dew pitstop! <Jeffdot> I'm sorry I can't help it! <Fremziska> You will continue to help it or you will be subject to much taze-whipping! <Seanworth> Mumbling to himself in the back, playing some DS game <PhoenixRoot> Well we must be almost there, right? <Jeffdot> It's just another couple miles up ahead, yes, according to these directions. <Fremziska> What's that sign up ahead say? Squinting <PhoenixRoot> Hard to tell..."Road...Work...Ahead"? Oh crap***, construction on the road...we'll NEVER get there at this ra-AGGGH! thrown foward by the force of brakes* <Jeffdot> Sorry about that, almost hit that car. <PhoenixRoot> Oh god, you've GOT to be joking me... <Fremziska> There's too many of them to whip out of the way... <Seanworth> What are you tal--....oh. The Mt. Dew Mobile is stuck in the middle of a huge traffic jam <PhoenixRoot> Well, at least they don't know where we're going... Meanwhile at the Hardware Store <Furry #1> Most fuuuuuurtunate. We seem to have been them here. <Furry #3> Now we just wait fuuur them. <Furry #2> Let's prowl behind those shrubberies. All four furries scurry behind the bushes <???> How dare you entire our domain! NEE! <Furry #4> What the...? <???> NEE! <Furry #2> Wagh! Who...are you? <???> We are the hobos who say NEE! <Hobo> And you have entered our domain of SHRUBERRIES! <Furry #3> Bugger off, person without money. We're stalking here. <Hobo> NEE! NEE! NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! <Furry #1> Ah! Stop that infernal noise-making! <Hobo> Then leave! Or we shall say "Nee!" again! <Furry #2> But we need to settle here...isn't there any sort of bargain we can make fuuur you...? <Hobo> NEE! ... yes, actually. <Furry #4> W-what is it? <Hobo> You must bring us.... <Furry #1> ...yes? <Hobo> NEE! <Furry #1> Ah! Stop that! I'm sorry! <Hobo> ....bring us, a... <Hobo> HERRING! DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN! <Furry #3> A herring? That's easy! <Hobo> NEE! Don't come back here until you have a herring! <Furry #2> Grawrgh....fine... <Furry #1> Village Furries, disassemble! Find a herring! <All Village Furries> Flee <On the Highway> <PhoenixRoot> Ugh....why won't this bloody traffic MOVE? <Jeffdot> Oh quit whining. Just chill out, like I am! Takes a sip of his can <PhoenixRoot> Easy for YOU to say...AGH! Fremmy, stop whipping me! <Fremziska> Sorry, I can't help it! I'm bored! <Seanworth> Should have brought something to do, like I did! I'm so smart! His DS game cuts out due to dead battery ....I hate my life. <PhoenixRoot> Sigh Well this is getting no where fast. <Jeffdot> Oh snarky flargy jimmy Hansenmanjensen.... <PhoenixRoot> ...what? <Jeffdot> I'm all out of 'Dew.. <Fremziska> Oh well, looks like you're going to have to deal like the rest of us. <Jeffdot> Hey Fremziska, if you're that bored why don't you hop in the backseat with Root, it'll be just like the movie theatr---AGHAHGHAGHAGDFLARGBAHDANBIM. <Fremziska> High-speed whip mode on Jeffdot <Jeffdot> Okay! okay! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm just a little...on edge with no Mountain Dew <Fremziska> That BETTER be what it is. <PhoenixRoot> Whimpers <Seanworth> Hey, Root, let me in the front seat. I know how badly you want to be back here <PhoenixRoot> ...you seriously are completely oblivious to what you say, aren't you? <Seanworth> What? I thought you hated the front seat? <PhoenixRoot> .... <Seanworth> I'm being honest! Seriously! Wasn't it you who hated being in the front? <PhoenixRoot> I'm fine, thanks for your concern. <Jeffdot> Aw, but Root, don't you want to make..--...up...a story, back there? <PhoenixRoot> That was a worse cover than Sean's "making pies" cover. <Jeffdot> ...I guess it was. I reaaaaallly need some Mountain Dew, and soon....otherwise this condition is just going to get worse. <PhoenixRoot> God help us all then... Back near the Hardware Store <Furry #1> Where are we going to find a HERRING? <Furry #4> Beats me.. <Furry #3> Who knows...I say we SHIP that stupid Hobo into submission.. <???> Did somebody say, Herring? <Furry #2> Who's that? <Bimbo> My name is Bimbo! I am a pet Herring salesman! <Furry #2> Convenient! We need a Herring! <Bimbo> Aha! So you're in the market! Well, I just happen to have a sale going on, 20% off your first purchase! Here! Take a look at the selection I have! Opens up a case full of ice...and herrings <Furry #3> They're all rather..small, aren't they? <Bimbo> Yes, but most Herrings are! <Furry #4> That one is nice... <Bimbo> Ah! Good eye you have there my boy! That one's name is 'Red'! <Furry #1> Superb. How much? <Bimbo> Oh, quite cheap I assure you! You can purchase him for...599 U.S. Dollars <Furry #2> ...you're joking. <Bimbo> No, quite serious, my boy! <Furry #3> Listen to me you half-wit! You're going to GIVE us a herring, see? Otherwise, we're going to do bad, bad baaad things to you! <Bimbo> Now now, let's be CIVIL about this, we're all civilized humans here no? <Furry #3> We're Furries. Now, either I'm going to have to Ship you and ruin your reputation entirely so you'll never walk straight again - and trust me, they don't call me the Ship Captain for nothing, or you're going to hand us that Herring. <Bimbo> Furries?! NO! NOT YOU ACCURSED THINGS AGAIN! I THOUGHT I RID MYSELF OF YOU FREAKS IN CAMBODIA! TAKE THEM! TAKE THEM ALL! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! Drops the case and flees <Furry #1> Wow....nice work there. Let's get this Herring to the Hobos. Picks up the case and scurries out of there with his team Back on the highway to hardware... <PhoenixRoot> Well at least we're moving. <Jeffdot> Y-y-yeah... <Fremziska> Hmph. <Seanworth> Whispers to Jeffdot You're really going to have to apologize for what you said. <Jeffdot> I just n-need a M-M-M-Mountain Dew, I'll be f-f-fine. <PhoenixRoot> Oh you have GOT to be joking! <Seanworth> Huh?? <PhoenixRoot> All that traffic held up for a broken MANHOLE cover?!? <Jeffdot> Heh heh heh...you said-- <Fremziska> Whip-crack! <Jeffdot> Agh! S-s-sorry... <PhoenixRoot> Well the traffic isn't nearly as bad any more. Hey, what's that I see up ahead? <Fremziska> The hardware store! It's in sight! <Seanworth> Victory goes to those with courage! And those with patience to sit through highway traffic! And now for somewhere completely different again <Furry #1> Hobos! We have brought you your herrings! <Hobo> Nee! Fantastic. Now...we have another task for you! <Furry #3> Oh please... <Hobo> You must...cut town one of these shrubberies with that HERRING! <Furry #3> You know what? NO. We're going to hide here, and you're going to like it. Otherwise, I'm going to ship those precious shrubberies of yours with Elderberry bushes. <Hobo> NEE! You wouldn't dare! <Furry #3> Whips out a pen and notepad Try me...they don't call me the Ship Captain because I'm in the Navy, you know. <Hobo> ...have it your way then! Nee! <Furry #2> We've got a lot of influence because of her... <All Village Furries> Hiding in the Shrubberies <The Hardware Store> <Seanworth> We're finally here... <Fremziska> The Hardware Store. <PhoenixRoot> ...well, here goes nothing! Opens the door <Jeffdot> OH MY GOD A VENDING MACHINE! Rockets over to it and pulls a Mountain Dew straight out of the plastic through force and chugs down two bottles of Mountain Dew <Seanworth> And here he says he DOESN'T have an addition problem <Fremziska> Freak. <PhoenixRoot> You can say that again... <PhoenixRoot> Well this is it. And it's even bigger than I thought it would be! <Seanworth> You know, lately I've been thinking - we might actually stand a chance! Foosh! <Fremziska> Eh? What was that? Heavy drums begin beating <Jeffdot> What's going on? <Furry #1> Appears, dancing ...Well, I just want to say <Furry #2> Pounces out and begins prancing side to side Lately that I've had that euphoric feeling all day <Furry #3> Rolls out and starts dancing too Lately we're never down <Furry #4> Crawls out on all fours, doing a little dance too Lately we never frown... <PhoenixRoot> Who ARE you people? <Furry #3> At the office or in the car, <Furry #3> It doesn't matter where you are... <Furry #2> You'll never be aloonne <Furry #2> You simply pick up the phone <Furry #4> Yiffing! Over the phone! <Furry #2> You know you like it! <Furry #1> Yiffing! Over the phone! <Furry #3> You know you need it... <Furry #4> Yiffing! Over the phone! <Furry #2> When you take a ride, you just need to be outside <Furry #1> We don't need to do anything, we can be lazy! <Furry #3> And we can lie there and write fics in our head! <Furry #2> Yiffing! Over the phone! <Furry #4> In the morning! <Furry #3> Yiffing! Over the phone! <Furry #1> In the afternoon! <Furry #2> Yiffing! Over the phone! <Furry #4> Sometimes in the evening! <Furry #3> This is the part I hate <Furry #3> The part where you make us wait! <Furry #2> Here's where tensions rise <Furry #2> Enough to break your minds! <Furry #1> Yiffing! Over the phone! <Furry #3> It's so inspiring! <Furry #4> Yiffing! Over the phone! <Furry #2> But they're never willing! <Furry #1> Yiffing! Over the phone! <Furry #3> Please don't lose connection! <Furry #4> Yiffing! Over the phone! <Furry #1> It's writing that we need <Furry #1> satisfaction for us, it's guaranteed! <Furry #4> It doesn't take much to start the tracking <Furry #4> It's just a small device! <All> Yiffing! Over the phone! <All> Yiffing! Over the phone! <All> Yiffing! Over the phone! <All> Yiffing! Over the phooooonnnnee! <Furry #3> If you're feeling watched, and after all whose not <Furry #3> I've got a remedy to help your case <Furry #3> All you need's a push and just a little mush! <All> Yiffing! Over the phone! <All> You know you like iiiiit! The dancing stops <PhoenixRoot> What... <Fremziska> the... <Seanworth> Bloody... <Jeffdot> Fjord... <PhoenixRoot> Was that CRAP?! Yiffing? Over the phone? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? <Furry #3> Give it up. You don't have any sort of musical or dance moves. You're defenseless. You're going to give in to Jack the Furrer's demands. <Furry #4> And you will like every single one of the fics that are written <Fremziska> Begins laughing hystertically If you freaks thought that we were going down without a fight...you are sadly mistaken. <PhoenixRoot> Fremmy? I think they're right...we're kind of defenseless right now. <Seanworth> And I can't dance <Jeffdot> Or sing. <Fremziska> That's where you're wrong...Let's out a crack of her whip With that a deep bass begins a steady beat <PhoenixRoot> What is this? I suddenly feel like, I can dance or something! <Seanworth> This is so strange.. With a malicious smile on her face, Fremziska begins to sing and crack her whip accordingly at the furries... <Fremziska> She Walks happily down the street <Fremziska> With her head pulled down low <Fremziska> Ain't no sound but the sound of her feet <Fremziska> Whip all ready to go <Fremziska> Are you ready?! ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?! <Fremziska> Are you hanging on the edge of your seat? <Fremziska> Out of the doorway the leather CRACKS <Fremziska> To the sound of the beat! <Fremziska> Another furry bites the whip... <Fremziska> Another furry bites the whip... <Fremziska> And another one gone, and another one gone <Fremziska> ANOTHER ONE BITES THE WHIP! <Fremziska> Hey! I'm gonna get you too! <Fremziska> Oh! Another one bites the whip! Rather loud now <Fremziska> How do you think I'm going to get along?! <Fremziska> With you, when you're shipping?! <Fremziska> You took me for everything I had <Fremziska> And shipped me out to fend for my own! <Fremziska> Are you happy, are you satisfied? <Fremziska> So how long can YOU stand the heat <Fremziska> Out of the doorway the leather CRACKS <Fremziska> To the sound of the beat! <Fremziska> Look out! Another furry bites the whip... <Fremziska> Another furry bites the whip... <Fremziska> And another one gone and another one gone <Fremziska> Another furry bites the whip! <Fremziska> HEY! I'm gonna get you too! <Fremziska> Ah hah haha! Another one bites the whip! <Fremziska> There are plenty of ways you can hurt a furry, and bring them to their knees... <Fremziska> You can beat them, to Furry #1 you can whip them, to Furry #2 <Fremziska> You can hurt them bad and kick him in the groin while he's down! Does so; to Furry #3 <Fremziska> But oh yes, yes, I'm ready for YOU... <Fremziska> I'm standing on my own two feet <Fremziska> Out of the doorway the leather RIPS.... <Fremziska> Snapping to the sound of the beat... At this point, all the furries are on the ground, moaning because they've been whipped so badly due to Fremziska's song. They also look like they've been lighted up like Christmas Trees <Fremziska> So, still want to ship us, nature freaks? <Furry #3> Groan <Furry #4> ...this isn't what I...signed up for... <Furry #1> Village Furries, Retreat! Re...wheeze....treat! <Furry #2> We just got destroyed... <All Village Furries> Flee! <Fremziska> Well that was easy. <PhoenixRoot> Starting with his mouth agape Fremmy, if they weren't still in earshot, I could so....collapses <Seanworth> That was...amazing <Jeffdot> I should appoint you secondary Jeffdot that was so aweome! <Fremziska> Hee hee! Time to prepare ourselves for the journey into the Hardware Store! <TO BE CONTINUED> Edited by Root, Oct 26 2008, 06:42 PM.
	Does being the only sane one make me the insane one, in a sort of way? Though my eyes could see, I was still a blind man; Though my mind could think, I still was a madman... "Yes there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run...there's still time to change the road you're on"


Jeff	Oct 26 2008, 03:14 PM Post #53
Lord of Pie & BBWs Posts: 1,383 Group: Four Against Nature Member #3 Joined: Jul 6, 2008 Quote You are but the strongest KNIGHT! You should be able to ROCK ME!	Applause That was really a good first act, except for the yiffing! I look forward to act 2!
	Come visit me and my thought processes at my website: http://www.publishedauthors.net/tdotdw/news.html "In the cold light, justice and morality always look corny and you can't wave the flag and look cool. But like it or not, society needs its heroes." - John Hart; actor who played The Lone Ranger.


Rem	Oct 28 2008, 06:16 PM Post #54
Why yes, I do like snickerdoodles. Posts: 218 Group: Four Against Nature Member #4 Joined: Jul 6, 2008	Hobo's who say Nee? You've thought of everything. And I do sing rather well, if I can say so myself. =D
	Have you ever wondered what color air is?


Root	Oct 28 2008, 06:26 PM Post #55
The Speaker for the Dead Posts: 584 Group: Four Against Nature Member #2 Joined: Jul 6, 2008 Quote If you're going through hell, keep going.	We've got more! On the previous episode of Phoenix Root: Go read it again you lazy bum And now for something not-so completely different! <October 28th, 2008> <The Hardware Store> The doors open in a blinding flash <Seanworth> By the Queen . . . <PhoenixRoot> Our music group's name is 'King'... <Jeffdot> ...woah, dude. <Fremziska> Wouldja look at all that stuff... <Fremziska> They've got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet sea--- <Seanworth> We've heard it before, thank you, thank you. <Fremziska> You're no fun anymore <PhoenixRoot> This is absolutely amazing...well, time to outfit ourselves with power tools for weapons that are COMPLETELY unethical since we're lawyers and this isn't "Courthouse Improvement" <Fremziska> Bah, technicality... <Time: ???; Location: Unkown> <Furry #1> Sir, we got our tails handed to us by that whip-lady. She was prepared with a number of her very own. <J. The Furrer> So the Phoenix Root attorneys got away...for now. Tail them. Yes, that is a murdeous pun - that's how bad a villain I AM! <Furry #3> Yes sir. I have a secret weapon this time....no music of their's will trump mine! Bwhehehehe! <J. The Furrer> (Fangirls still scare even me...) Well, if you're confident enough to attempt to dispatch them again, you best be on your way. Oh, and do not fail me again. I will not tolerate failure. <Furry #2> ...then we give them the music battle of their very LIVES. They will not stand a chance! Bwhaha! <Furry #4> FOR THE FURRIES! AWAY! <Furry #1> Let's get back to the Furry Cave...we'll need some back up... <Furry #2> And when we return from our hifurnation... <Furry #3> We will be absolutely unstoppable <Furry #4> We will be... <All> THE ROLLING FURS INSERT SUSPENSE HERE <The Hardware Store> <Jeffdot> Emerging from the store first, fitted in a rather large, robotic costume painted green with bright yellow numbers on either shoulder reading '37'. The left mechanical arm is a jackhammer, and the right is a pneumatic drill. The back panel has a can of Mountain Dew in it. <Jeffdot> It's time to show these furries what we're made out of. <Seanworth> Emerges next in a pseudo-iron man type outfit with a cravat. The metal is sprayed orange with blue numbers reading '42'. His arm-cannon attachment that switches between a Automatic Drill, a Circular Band Saw, and a Sledgehammer. The back of this metallic sheathe covering Seanworth's body is a cup of tea reading 'Long live the Kings!' <Seanworth> I AM IROTEA MAN! <Fremziska> Crashes through the door next, in what looks like a heap of metal. Upon closer inspection, all the mechanic parts appear moving at decently quick rates around her. Fremziska, being the most insane amongst the entire group, seems to be using some sort of anti-gravity device to her will. As such, her arsenal of weapons is generally any sort of bladed, blunt, light-induced, or electrical-powered 'weapon' you could ever find in a Hardware store. As a defense, there is sheet metal added to the mix <Fremziska> Let's out a bunch of very creepy laughs that if they were put into text, would probably break your monitors. Trust me. <PhoenixRoot> Doors don't even open for Phoenix Root as he crashes through them in a navy-blue hovercar with flames - both real and feign - licking the back of the vehicle, with green letters reading '24'. The hovercraft has four blasters in the back for propulsion, along with a bottom furnace for heat regulation and to keep the craft off the ground. Out of the roof of the vehicle comes a row of pipes that appear to be flamethrowers. Out of the front-sides of the vehicle come out spinning saws, and out of the back-side are extra boosters. The front of the vehicle in front of what would be a windshield is a glowing zig-zag pattern that emits sparks every so often. Phoenix Root jumps out of the driver's pit <PhoenixRoot> Hovercrafts are awesome! F-Zero trumps everything! <Seanworth> ...wow, why did we do this again? <Fremziska> Because we hate furries and they need to be dealt with as much brute force as humanly possible? <Jeffdot> Yep, pretty much what he said. <PhoenixRoot> And I thought it'd be funny to use a car as a weapon. <Jeffdot> Well, why are we standing around? Let's kick some ass and chew some bubblegum! <Seanworth> But I'm all out of bubblegum! <Fremziska> Too bad! The furries must pay! <Somewhere where the Furries' Hideout Is> <Furry #1> ...perfect! The riff fortissimo splendid! The Phoenix Root mongrels do not stand a chance! <Furry #3> Growling menacingly! They never did, nor will; not while I'm living... <Furry #4> Let's furrrr them! <Furry #2> ...agreed. <Furry #1> WE ARE NOW THE ROLLING FURS! MILLIONS WILL HEAR OUR HOWL, AND THEY WILL TREMBLE IN FEAR! <Furry #4> Locating the Phoenix Root fools... <Furry #2> Looking at a computer screen Hurm...looks like they're on the move again... <Furry #3> Not for long. Find them. Make them wish they were never so stubborn. For their insolence, I shall pair each one of them starting with the Phoenix Root and Fremziska pairing... Even though that's been done so many ***ing times it's tiring. <Furry #3> Who said that?! SHOW YOURSELF Or what? You'll pair me? Pick woop. I'm a disembodied voice. You can't do that. <Furry #3> No? There have been more crazy pairings...like Tetris Fanfics You wouldn't dare... <Furry #3> Disembodied Voice and Freddie Mercury sitting in a tree.... Are you kidding me?! He's gay and he's dead! <Furry #3> Then shut your damned voice up. Yes ma'am... <Furry #3> Let's find them. Now. And I will make up the most fluffiest, horrendous, near-disgusting-even-for-me pairing I can possibly fathom. One that'll make Bryan's joke look like a calm, friendly shake-of-the-hand gesture.... Meanwhile, where the fourth wall isn't being broken* <Jeffdot> Why won't they show up already? <Seanworth> Probably because we want to kick their asses now and they're too afraid to show themselves <Fremziska> I GROW BORED! <PhoenixRoot> Actually, since we're moving around, can we stop by the courthouse? I need to grab a case file from my desk. <Jeffdot> Meh, sure. Got nothing better to do... <Seanworth> Not like they're going to make us do much else anyway. <Fremziska> To the courthouse! And away! <TO BE CONTINUED> Will the furries be defeated?! Will there actually be more music next time? Can the Ship Captain actually make a pairing that was worse than mine tenfold? Will Phoenix Root ever find the case file that he needs to review but conveniently will probably never pop up again?! Am I going to announce every plot device in this paragraph? Tune in next time for more Phoenix Root - Fury of the Furries: The Musical (Wanted to save most action until next episode, and I need to stop breaking the fourth wall. As far as those questions go....I was making that up as I went along, and for those of you who are worried that I've lost it and will continue writing god-awful slashfics, you're wrong. Just don't worry, I promised myself that I would never do anything like that ever again. And the price for breaking that promise has something to do with three pickles, a jar of peanut butter, a pointed stick, a sledgehammer, a lance, and a bed of knives. As you can probably tell from this extremely long post-script, and its post-post script, I would definitely be well-dead by the time I finished my 'promise-breaking punishment'. I know, well said well dead. Got up off the bed and hit my head, while wearing red and eating bread. Yed.)
	Does being the only sane one make me the insane one, in a sort of way? Though my eyes could see, I was still a blind man; Though my mind could think, I still was a madman... "Yes there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run...there's still time to change the road you're on"


Jeff	Oct 28 2008, 07:08 PM Post #56
Lord of Pie & BBWs Posts: 1,383 Group: Four Against Nature Member #3 Joined: Jul 6, 2008 Quote You are but the strongest KNIGHT! You should be able to ROCK ME!	Courthouse Improvement... I see what you did thar. Nice stuff, d00d.
	Come visit me and my thought processes at my website: http://www.publishedauthors.net/tdotdw/news.html "In the cold light, justice and morality always look corny and you can't wave the flag and look cool. But like it or not, society needs its heroes." - John Hart; actor who played The Lone Ranger.


Root	Jun 8 2009, 04:30 PM Post #57
The Speaker for the Dead Posts: 584 Group: Four Against Nature Member #2 Joined: Jul 6, 2008 Quote If you're going through hell, keep going.	After months of long battles, it has finally made a come-back! Enjoy! <June 8, 2009. 12:55 P.M. Outside the Hardware Store> <Jeffdot> We're FINALLY Here. Good job, Seanworth. You made us late with your game shopping! <Seanworth> I wanted to get new 360 games, so sue me. <Jeffdot> You're OBSESSED. <PhoenixRoot> Obsessed doesn't begin to describe, but we've got bigger problems on our hands. Say....the furries that want to ship us all to oblivion? <Seanworth> Good point. <PhoenixRoot> Well, uh...what are we going to do? <Seanworth> Well, we're here. What were we supposed to do again? It feels like it took us months to get here. <PhoenixRoot> .... <Fremziska> We're supposed to kill the furries with music, pretty much...I think? <Seanworth> I can't SING. <PhoenixRoot> Yeah, and we had all these really cool vehicles and crap...but they expoded in the time it took us to update again. <Jeffdot> and that would be your fault, Seanworth <Seanworth> I regret NOTHING <PhoenixRoot> SO! Mr. Tactician, what do you suggest we do? We're either going to be shipped straight to hell...or <PhoenixRoot> <Seanworth> Yeah. Ever spend a lot of time on the internet like me, you know one thing. KILL THE FURRIES WITH FIRE! <Seanworth> So we get things that cause BURNING <PhoenixRoot> Oh, well it's pretty lucky that we're near a hardware store then....without any money <Seanworth> Well, I HAD Some money...before I bought Fallout 3. <Seanworth> ....Whoops <Jeffdot> Arrrgh...why didn't I take the effing visor? Why did I need Kamina Shades. <Fremziska> TAZE-WHIP With a bit of a surge, the taze whip goes dead. The batteries fried <Fremziska> FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--- <Seanworth> When it rains, it pours. <PhoenixRoot> So ... we're effing screwed here, aren't we? <PhoenixRoot> Okay, so I move that we get the hell out of here as fast as possible. <Seanworth> So...we came all this way...to RUN? <PhoenixRoot> uhhh <Fremziska> Yup <Jeffdot> Prettttty much <Seanworth> I hate the lot of you. <Jeffdot> As I said, this is your fault. <Fremziska> Seanworth... mailman walks up <Mailman> Here you are, sir. hands Seanworth a package <Seanworth> ....Sorry guys, I have...um...important...case...business to dohavefunwiththefurriesbye starts to run <Fremziska> If we get shipped by a crazed furry who writes homoerotic furry fanfiction, I am going to do UNSPEAKABLE things to you. <Fremziska> Lassos whip around you and pulls Seanworth back <Seanworth>Gah..! Okay, what's the plan here? <Jeffdot> Augh! And to top it all off? I just ran out of 'Dew <Seanworth> Alright, alright, I have an idea. <Seanworth> We'll stop by the bank, I'll get some cash out of my account. We'll buy flamethrowers. ...and some 'Dew for everyone. <Fremziska> Wow, that's the first logical and useful thing Seanworth has said! <Seanworth> glare <Jeffdot> That's wonderful, but even I have a better idea! Root, good buddy old pal, c'mere! <Seanworth> ....What are you going to do to the poor man? <PhoenixRoot> Huh? <Jeffdot> Grabs Root's shoulder, transcending Root's physical form <PhoenixRoot> GAH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?! <Jeffdot> Pulls out a can of diet root beer - Sorry, my friend, but it's much easier to be bad-ass this way! <PhoenixRoot> ZOMGWTFBBQ <Seanworth> ...What the NYARN just happened? <Jeffdot> My ancestors perfected this technique! To borrow an ally's life force to boost our powers! I'll pay him back, I promise! <Seanworth> This sounds like a stupidly contrived plot device. <Jeffdot> Yes, but in a world of stupidly contrived plot devices, THIS ends a hideously long musical even quicker! <Seanworth> VERY WELL. ...Okay, we still need to stop by my house and pick up my laptop, we need to pinpoint the furry base. <Jeffdot> Now come on you cowards! Show yourselves, and I will show you the true power of a bitter caffeinated beverage! <???> I'm affffuraid that it's too late for that, Mr. Seanworth <Seanworth> Oh bloody buggering teacups. <PhoenixRoot> Hey Seanworth! Look! An ATM! Let's totally aband-errr I mean, leave Jeffdot here to deal with the furries while we go purchase flamethrowers! <Seanworth> Right! I have my wallet right here. Fremziska, Seanworth, and Root flee inside the store <Jeffdot> Tonight, WE FEAST ON FURRY! Right guys?! ....guys? <Sign> "Out to store. Be back in 10 minutes" <Jeffdot> ......................................................SHAZBOT <Furry #1> YOU SHALL BE FURRED! <Furry #3> AND THEN SHIPPED <Seanworth> NOT SO FAST, FURRY SCUM! walks out, flamethrower ready <Furry #2> OH SMECK FIRE FLEE <Furry #3> COWARDS! SHIP THEM INTO OBLIVION! <Seanworth> PHOENIX ROOT, FREMZISKA! FLANK THEM! <Furry #4> Tomato! <Seanworth> DO NOT LET THEM FLEE! <Fremziska> Removes her taze-whip, now supercharged with energy and can shoot lightning. It does so on the fleeing furry, who is naturally electrocuted <PhoenixRoot> Roasts the pun-making Furry #1 <Furry #3> ....oh smeck. <Seanworth> ROAST THEM ALL! sets everything on fire <Jeffdot> JEFFDOT! RAGE! Forms energy in the shape of a caffeine molecule and blasts the Ship-Captain Furry #3 <Seanworth> Wait, what the crap? <Fremziska> For good measure, shoots lightning at #3 <Seanworth> when did you get new Batteries for your taze whip? <Fremziska> I bought them instead of a flamethrower. Isn't it cute? I can shoot lightning now! <Seanworth> .... <PhoenixRoot> .... <Jeffdot> ....soo...I hate to be the bearer of bad news here but...you guys do realize we now have a problem way bigger than furries <All Furries> Are now blackened toast, and no amount of scraping would remove the black parts <Seanworth> .....Wait, did we just win? <PhoenixRoot> ..I...I think we did. <Fremziska> We did win but you guys are now my new test victims for Taze Whip 2.0! <Seanworth> Can I go home now and play my 360? <Fremziska> NO! ZAP <PhoenixRoot> Hey, well, would you look at the time I have to not be electrocuted somewhere else! flees <Seanworth> Grabs Root's leg and forces him to fall YOU'RE GOING NOWHERE! <Seanworth> Wait..... <Fremziska> EXACTLY RIGHT! Mr. Phoenix Rooty! I have some ENLIGHTENMENT FOR YOU! WHIP-ZAP <Seanworth> Flamethrower Fuel Pack + Electric Whip = ..... The zap gets Seanworth too, because he's holding on to Root's leg <Seanworth> OH FUC-- EXPLOSION <Jeffdot> Aaauugh...I didn't even do anything...and I got asploded... <Fremziska> Tee-hee! Ya-ta! <Seanworth> FML <PhoenixRoot> Ouchies.. <Jeffdot> Let's ... go back to the Courthouse or something. Let's not suffer out here. <Sean> You HAD to make her deadlier, didn't you Bryan? <Bryan> Inadvertantly. <Sean> I'm going to break your spleen. <Bryan> Ha ha! No you're not. <Sean> WANNA BET? <Bryan> Yes. You know why? <Sean> Humor me <Bryan> Because we're not ROOMING <Bryan> I AM FREE! FREEE! <Sean> Wait, wut? <Sean> You switched dorms?! <Bryan> Urm....no. <Bryan> You're not even dorming, remember? <Sean> This is a "what if" scenario Bryan. Don't break the laws of reality by changing it mid-episode <Bryan> Damnit, I like breaking the laws of reality.. <Bryan> Then yes, for all intents and purposes, you could break my spleen, but I'm not going to let you. <Sean> I don't feel like doing it anyway. Now since this episode is all but done, I'm abandoning you for a video game console now <Bryan> Good to know nothing is changed. Plus, I think we're going to have a guest star on the next episode anyway. <Bryan> So if you have some sort of Wintereenmas ritual that you lock yourself in a room with your beloved console for x amount of days, I think we'll be alright. <Bryan> so, anyway, until next time viewers! <TO BE CONTINUED. I GUESS> Now, before you post your 'RAAEG' about how short this update was, and how we resorted to cheap violence for laughs this was mainly to get the musical out of the way. You know, because you can only push such a thing so far, and having not updated for months kind of puts a downer on ideas sometimes. So, hopefully the next update will be a little more fruitful. Otherwise, this is what you've got for now. Sorry!
	Does being the only sane one make me the insane one, in a sort of way? Though my eyes could see, I was still a blind man; Though my mind could think, I still was a madman... "Yes there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run...there's still time to change the road you're on"


Jeff	Jun 23 2009, 12:06 PM Post #58
Lord of Pie & BBWs Posts: 1,383 Group: Four Against Nature Member #3 Joined: Jul 6, 2008 Quote You are but the strongest KNIGHT! You should be able to ROCK ME!	Belated post is belated. Awesome stuff! I look forward to moar!
	Come visit me and my thought processes at my website: http://www.publishedauthors.net/tdotdw/news.html "In the cold light, justice and morality always look corny and you can't wave the flag and look cool. But like it or not, society needs its heroes." - John Hart; actor who played The Lone Ranger.


ddrattack	Jun 26 2009, 12:05 AM Post #59
The DDR of all things Rythm Posts: 299 Group: Members Member #8 Joined: Jul 9, 2008 Quote "Rawr! I'm a pwnasaurus REX!	"So if you have some sort of Wintereenmas ritual that you lock yourself in a room with your beloved console for x amount of days, I think we'll be alright." That always cheers me up.



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