Jeff's Movie Reviews

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Jeff's Movie Reviews; Readers beware - spoilers abound!
Topic Started: Jul 18 2008, 08:37 PM (180 Views)
Jeff	Jul 18 2008, 08:37 PM Post #1
Lord of Pie & BBWs Posts: 1,385 Group: Four Against Nature Member #3 Joined: Jul 6, 2008 Quote You are but the strongest KNIGHT! You should be able to ROCK ME!	Okay, the idea here is that rather than just watch and comment on movies, this'll be my little area wherein I discuss and review movies a bit more at-length after having seeing them. This is also a topic that'll have a LOT of spoilers as a result, so if you haven't seen a certain movie and want to, by all means skip a post until you're ready to read it. This is also my little way of making up for being inactive for nigh-on a week or so due to family visits. Today's movie(s): The Pink Panther Series First up: The Pink Panther. Released in 1964, I'm willing to bet the vast majority of you haven't seen it. The short version is basically this princess of an unidentified nation possesses the world's largest diamond which, due to the singular flaw in the middle of the gem, was named "The Pink Panther". After a slew of robberies by a mysterious masked thief - The Phantom - the clueless detective, Jacques Clouseau, takes on the case of protecting the jewel and catching the phantom. Even though it was billed as a comedy (rightfully so) the biggest flaw in the movie is that it's just not terribly funny. Sure, there's lots of interesting story twists, character development, and lots of events of intrigue, but that's just the problem - they harp on these just a bit too much. As a result, the humor gets pushed aside for most of the movie, up until an amusing bit in a hotel room where a sordid love affair gets complicated as the cheating wife attempts to hide two men at once from her none-the-wiser husband, and the movie's climax of a rather unusual car chase scene where more than 3/4 of the cast are in silly costumes. Call it what you will, the movie is worth seeing but, I think, is the weakest link of the series. Especially Spoiler: click to toggle that the good guy, the heart-of-gold detective Clouseau, gets framed with the robberies of the Phantom due to a set-up by the actions of the cheating wife and an amazingly out-of-character change of heart of the princess. They attempt to soften this blow by calling him a 'hero' (What?) and having flocks of women fawn over him as a result of his 'unmasking'. It was also mentioned, in passing, that when the phantom struck again, all charges would be alleviated, but that didn't help me feel much better. In short, the ending was something of a kick to the nuts for me, personally, even if it was a somewhat well-executed kick... Next in line is my personal favorite: A Shot in the Dark. This movie has even MORE sordid affairs than the first movie could shake a pink tail at (an amusing metaphor, I guess, as the panther's title nor iconic cartoon portrayal appear anywhere in this movie at all. Actually, SitD is the only 'panther' movie whose animated short intro features only a cartoon version of Clouseau, and not the originally-titular panther). As a result, things get complicated as some influential calls to the station set our favorite detective back on to work (and somehow inexplicably out of prison) and Clouseau develops a crush on the accused... not that I can particularly blame him. Sticking to his unorthodox guns, Clouseau then proceeds to go against all preconceived police methods in order to find the true murderer. Spoiler: click to toggle Well, the movie doesn't ever explicitly say who killed who, however it does go into detail about who cheated on who. It does, however, seriously imply that there's more than one killer, even though the young lady DOES turn out to be innocent. However, they end the movie the one way that really made me feel good - by blowing up the cheaters all at once! ... No, seriously. Third up is: The Pink Panther Strikes Again. In spite of the title, the titular diamond does not appear anywhere in the movie. The plot this time is that Drefus, Clouseau's superior, going mad and kidnapping famous scientists and criminals to build a massive laser that destroys objects, leaving not even rubble in its wake. Upon learning this, the ever-vigilant Clouseau sets off to stop him. Spoiler: click to toggle ... umm... the hero wins. Yeah, this movie is pretty straight-foward. Sorry if I got your hopes up. 4th in line is: Revenge of the Pink Panther. Much like the last movie, the diamond is completely ignored for whatever reason. As a matter of fact the third movie I mentioned is ignored too! Dreyfus is now just a psychologically-scarred man who strongly hates Clouseau, rather than a weapon-toting maniac. This time around, Clouseau goes head-to-head with drug lords and other such fun. Hilarity ensues. And finally: The Trail of the Pink Panther. Whether you want to call this a movie, or just an hour-and-a-half homage to the franchise is up for you to decide. Using cut and alternate scenes, and a few straight-from-the-books cuts of older movies (including some from the never-released "Romance of the Pink Panther") the story centers around a gutsy young news reporter, who has a keen interest in the sudden disappearance of Cleaseau's plane. In this movie we even get to see Jacques' father and where he got a lot of his traits from. Spoiler: click to toggle Snape kills Dumbl-- oh wait, no. Cleaseau, in the final scene of the movie, is seen alive and well, standing overtop a sea-facing cliff... before a seagull craps on his coat sleeve. And that wraps up the 5 movies I have in my possession. I know I'm missing quite a few including: Inspector Cleaseau, Return, Curse, and Son of the Pink Panther as well as the 2006 re-envisioning of the franchise, but those happened to be the 5 I had in the DVD box set my dad got. Maybe I'll review some of these movies at a later time, but the five I've seen are classic comedies, and definitely worth seeing. More next time!
	Come visit me and my thought processes at my website: http://www.publishedauthors.net/tdotdw/news.html "In the cold light, justice and morality always look corny and you can't wave the flag and look cool. But like it or not, society needs its heroes." - John Hart; actor who played The Lone Ranger.


Root	Jul 18 2008, 08:43 PM Post #2
The Speaker for the Dead Posts: 585 Group: Four Against Nature Member #2 Joined: Jul 6, 2008 Quote If you're going through hell, keep going.	Heh heh. Pretty funny, good job Jeff. I never saw any of these movies, though they normally looked funny.
	Does being the only sane one make me the insane one, in a sort of way? Though my eyes could see, I was still a blind man; Though my mind could think, I still was a madman... "Yes there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run...there's still time to change the road you're on"


Jeff	Jul 30 2008, 09:47 PM Post #3
Lord of Pie & BBWs Posts: 1,385 Group: Four Against Nature Member #3 Joined: Jul 6, 2008 Quote You are but the strongest KNIGHT! You should be able to ROCK ME!	Today's Movie: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV (TMNT) Recently I noticed an overwhelming slew of reviews for the first three Ninja Turtles movies, released early in the 1990's by notable net icons such as the Angry Video Game Nerd and the Nostalgia Critic. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that the latest movie, called "TMNT", release in 2007 hasn't really been garnering many reviews be they good, bad or indifferent. So, today, as a hardcore turtle fan for the vast majority of my life, I present to you, Turtles IV. Yes, I know, it's "TMNT" but to me, it's Turtles IV. Well, the movie takes place one year after the last movie, Turtles II. What happened to Turtles III? As far as I'm concerned, this movie IS Turtles III. What? I just said it was Turtles IV? Shut up. This movie takes place one year after Turtles II, and starts us off in a remote jungle in South America. Much like the first movie's intro, I found this intro effective because it doesn't even make you think it was a turtles movie. It could've been a CGI rendition of a Rambo movie, if you didn't know any better. Some gorillas--err--guerrillas raid a small town and take pretty much everything of value from its citizens, then drive off, chuckling about the ill-gotten gains. Suddenly, they're brought to a halt when they find a tree had blocked their path. However, when they get out to move it, one-by-one they get royally kicked to the curb in a way that would make the movie "Predator" proud (y'know, minus the blood and Ahnold.) before the leader of the men attempts to run and comes face-to-face with Leonardo who, as it turns out, was training in the jungle at Splinter's behest. The next day, the guerrillas jeep mysteriously rolls into town, all the peoples' things safely tucked away inside of it... Cue April O'Neil, who had given up reporting (Thank God, so sayest the fans of the original comics) and has instead started up a freighting business, making profitable deals with multi-billionaire, Captain Jean-Luc Picard... err... I mean Max Winters, voiced by Patrick Stewart. The deals revolve around four stone statues and a legend about an immortal king of an ancient empire. April meets with Leo and talks him into returning to America. Tensions rise between him and his hot-headed brother, Raphael, and half the fanbase resumes complaining that Michelangelo and Donatello didn't get enough screen time. Suck it up, folks, they only had an hour and a half. Anyways, the main plot revolves around thirteen monsters that have been plaguing humanity for centuries including things such as the yeti, big foot, the chimera, the Jersey Devil, the cyclops and others and Max Winters' four statues coming to life to round them all up and set things to right using a ceremony involving an ancient ruin and the alignment of the stars. To some people, this came off as over-the-top and needlessly far-fetched. We call those people "Casual fans". To us hardcore Turtle fans who have actually bothered to read some of the original source material (Eastman & Laird's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and its spin-off comics, not the 1987 bastardization) this was an appetizer to the epic climax battles in the end. Spoiler: click to toggle At the end we discover Max Winters is the immortal king spoken of in legend and the stone warriors were not only his generals, but his siblings as well. The turtles and the stone warriors duke it out as April, Casey and Karai, the Shredder's adoptive daughter, set aside their differences in order to round up the last monster during the struggle. Max Winters wishes to undo the damage he caused by unleashing the monsters and ending the curse of immorality, so that he and his siblings may finally rest in peace. Having been dormant for so long, the stone siblings wish to remain immortal and thus turn on their leader and brother, causing him to stand alongside the turtles after the stone siblings attempt to pawn off Leonardo as the 13th monster, even if he was rescued by Raphael, they stay and fight it out 'til the end. In the end, the monsters are returned, and the stone immortals destroyed, and Max Winters regains mortality, and fades to ashes. In the end, it was an awesome movie, but there are two things I need to address. 1) My earlier "casual fan" comment needs a little elaboration. Casual fans probably are still under the impression that Splinter was Hamato Yoshi, that Shredder was at some time in a REAL canonical continuity the main villain, and that Krang came from Dimension X. Those people would also be wrong. Hardcore fans who understand the concept of TMNT canon would be able to tell you that Yoshi is dead, Splinter was always a rat, Shredder was not only NEVER the main villain but died in the VERY FIRST COMIC IN THE SERIES and Krang was loosely based off the alien species known as Utroms which only were NOT evil, but friendly with humans and even interacted with them on a daily basis. As a result, the far-fetched nature of the movie was more or less directed at the hardcore fans and to those who do fall into that "casual fan" category thought they were just being silly. To those "casual fans" READ THE ORIGINAL MATERIAL! Geez... and 2) People who have a serious vendetta against CGI. It's incredibly popular and cheap to make compared to full-on acting, as a result it's like the movie variation of "selling out" to the hip and trendy crowd. While I do admit a lot of movies would probably be better with live-action CoughGhostBusters3cough one has to admit that the CGI in the case of the turtles opens up a of possibilities and a lot of crazy action scenes that really got me pumped. Spoiler: click to toggle An excellent example would be the Leo vs. Raph battle on the top of a roof, which involved "blink-and-you'll-miss-it" fast martial arts and some of the best water effects I've ever seen in a CGI film So, even though you could argue it's a cop-out, I think Turtles IV has a unique position in that it let things that MADE the movies popular (the action and expressiveness of the turtles themselves) all the more awesome, so in this case, the ends justify the means. More next time!
	Come visit me and my thought processes at my website: http://www.publishedauthors.net/tdotdw/news.html "In the cold light, justice and morality always look corny and you can't wave the flag and look cool. But like it or not, society needs its heroes." - John Hart; actor who played The Lone Ranger.


Root	Jul 30 2008, 09:54 PM Post #4
The Speaker for the Dead Posts: 585 Group: Four Against Nature Member #2 Joined: Jul 6, 2008 Quote If you're going through hell, keep going.	Nicely put. You seem to be a fit fan-boyish (no offense at all) about the movie though, I think. Maybe it's just the way you worded it
	Does being the only sane one make me the insane one, in a sort of way? Though my eyes could see, I was still a blind man; Though my mind could think, I still was a madman... "Yes there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run...there's still time to change the road you're on"


Sean	Jul 30 2008, 09:55 PM Post #5
The ⑥of Four Against Nature Posts: 733 Group: Four Against Nature Member #1 Joined: Jul 6, 2008 Quote Deep-minded, covered in about three layers of nerdiness.	An excellent review, Jeff. I really need to actually watch this at some point....but I'll likely forget or something.



Jeff	Aug 3 2008, 03:05 PM Post #6
Lord of Pie & BBWs Posts: 1,385 Group: Four Against Nature Member #3 Joined: Jul 6, 2008 Quote You are but the strongest KNIGHT! You should be able to ROCK ME!	Todays Movies: BatMan Begins & The Dark Knight In all honesty, I'm not a DC Comics fan. I don't care for Super Man or Wonder Woman or any other of the legions of heroes at DC's disposal, but that's not to say that they don't appeal to me at all... I'm actually a BatMan fan, even if I am more of a Marvel fanboy at heart. BatMan is a cool hero in the vein that he doesn't have super powers in the traditional sense - he's cool because he relies on his smarts and natural prowess from years of training and fighting rather than an accident or being an alien or what have you. So, naturally, he appeals to me. I saw both of Tim Burton's BatMan movies that came out in the late 80's (BatMan and BatMan Returns) as well as the first movie Joel Schumacher was in charge over (BatMan Forever). Thankfully, I was never exposed to Schumacher's "Batman & Robin". However, since I was a small child when I saw these movies, only brief snippets of them remain in mind so I was a blank slate when our own Cog-Sean suggested we go see the most recent BatMan movie, The Dark Knight. In light of this, we also watched BatMan Begins prior to going to the theaters to check out the newest movie. BatMan Begins is just what it says on the tin - the beginning and origin story of BatMan. Not remembering the previous films didn't hinder my enjoyment, as the characters are introduced in a way that people new to the BatMan franchise could enjoy it as well. For the uninitiated (for which being so goes without excuse at this point) the general story is Bruce Wayne, under the tutelage of a ninja-esque organization, is trained in the ways of stealth and combat in order to deal with evil. However, due to disagreeing with the organization's extreme methods, Bruce leaves them in order to pursue his own path to justice. Due to a paranoia of bats, caused due to an incident shown first thing in the movie, Bruce dawns the mantel of the bat in order to strike fear into evil's collective heart in his home city of Gotham. However, briefly after his return, a vicious criminal, masquerading as a well-to-do psychiatrist, uses a powerful mind-altering drug that creates powerful, fear-inspiring hallucinations in the victim to control those around him. It's then up to BatMan to stop him! Spoiler: click to toggle As it pans out, the self-proclaimed "Scarecrow" isn't the main threat, but the very organization that trained Bruce prior to become BatMan. By use of the inhalant drug developed by the Scarecrow, and a microwave-emitter they intend to send Gotham into a self-destructive panic. I won't ruin the ending, as, unlike the Pink Panther, the movie is still fairly new. Go watch it yourself. The Dark Knight picks up almost immediately after the end of BatMan Begins. Almost immediately, the iconic Joker is on the scene, with a slew of bank robberies and murders as well as one damn scary villain. Not scary in the "Oh crap, he's bigger than me" way. Scary in a much more psychologically disturbing way. Bruce is then tested to his emotional, moral, and physical limits as he attempts to stop the Joker from his murderous rampage. Spoiler: click to toggle Go watch the movie, you cheapass. Between the two, my favorite was probably BatMan Begins because, much as Tim Burton did with BatMan Returns, The Dark Knight was, indeed, dark and very depressing, Spoiler: click to toggle with many people, including Bruce's semi-implied love interest biting the dust midway into the action among many other things including some mental abuse that effects even the more sensitive in the audience . Not that I mind a darker storyline, but I think it was pushed over the line at a minimum of once, with the ending of the 2nd movie being rather rough but still heroic and totally badass, as opposed to BatMan Returns where it was just flat-out depressing. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but that's just my thoughts. Both movies kicked ass and if you like superhero flicks, you'll love these as much as I did. Tune in next time, kids! Same Jeff time! Same Jeff channel!
	Come visit me and my thought processes at my website: http://www.publishedauthors.net/tdotdw/news.html "In the cold light, justice and morality always look corny and you can't wave the flag and look cool. But like it or not, society needs its heroes." - John Hart; actor who played The Lone Ranger.


Root	Aug 3 2008, 04:10 PM Post #7
The Speaker for the Dead Posts: 585 Group: Four Against Nature Member #2 Joined: Jul 6, 2008 Quote If you're going through hell, keep going.	"Go watch the movie, you cheapass" I have to say, THAT was good. All around, good movie review. I want to see the new Batman movie, just haven't had the chance.
	Does being the only sane one make me the insane one, in a sort of way? Though my eyes could see, I was still a blind man; Though my mind could think, I still was a madman... "Yes there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run...there's still time to change the road you're on"


Cog-Sean	Aug 3 2008, 04:58 PM Post #8
Doctor Seanafunkilus's musterion of Rock Posts: 157 Group: Members Member #10 Joined: Aug 2, 2008 Quote make yourself worthy of a single blessing, and many more will follow	That was a fun day! That was a good review although, I'm gonna have to disagree with you on which film I thought was better. Personally, I still think that The Dark Knight was the best Batman film they have made so far. Mainly because I thought the film as a whole was a big step up from Batman Begins. The plot was deeper, the questions about ethics, morality and the strength of the human spirit against the corruptive powers of evil the movie presents were much more intense, and not to mention the fucking unforgettable acting by Heath Ledger as the Joker and Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent/Two Face, which I thought brought the movie to a whole other level. -Also the "vicious criminal, masquerading as a well-to-do psychiatrist, uses a powerful mind-altering drug that creates powerful, fear-inspiring hallucinations in the victim to control those around him." was the famous batman villain the Scarecrow. -good review man, keep them coming!
	"A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him."


Jeff	Aug 18 2008, 09:33 AM Post #9
Lord of Pie & BBWs Posts: 1,385 Group: Four Against Nature Member #3 Joined: Jul 6, 2008 Quote You are but the strongest KNIGHT! You should be able to ROCK ME!	Today's movies: Airplane! & Airplane 2 To counter-balance just how awful that stupid "Mixed-up Zombie" movie was, I decided to take a look at two of my favorite comedies. Odds are good that, much like the Pink Panther movies, the general age demographic on this board MIGHT be too young to have seen these and frankly that's a damn shame. However, the movies are, technically, rated PG but that's because they were made prior to the PG-13 rating and the fact they avoided an "R" rating is, to put it bluntly, amazing. Airplane! starts us off at an airport with lots of quirky goings-on and off-the-wall dialogue as well as jokes you'll miss if you don't look into the background. We learn about a strained relationship between one Ted Striker and Elaine Dickinson, as Ted has to confront a deep-rooted fear of planes (due to an accident during "the war") in order to pursue Elaine and try to win her back. Hilarity ensues when a bad case of food poisoning takes down the pilots and Ted Striker has to take the wheel and overcome his fear. Now, it's true some of the jokes are cliche, but this movie makes cliche jokes cool again. And don't call me Shirley. Airplane 2 picks up shortly after the first, when rapid advances in technology make colonization of the moon's surface a reality - so shuttles to and from the moon have become commonplace. Striker, however, is now going onto the shuttle he knows is a flying coffin, having tested it only to be blamed for the craft's shortcomings. Elaine's affection is in jeopardy again, as is the life of everyone aboard the shuttle. The hilarity continues onwards even as William Shatner appears to guide Striker down safely to Moon Base Alpha-Beta. What's that? It's a place with generals and workers and such, but that's not important. These movies kick ass and never fail to crack me up. However, bare in mind some of the jokes are a bit risque, including a number of mammary jokes among other things. Call 'em what you will - but the Airplane! movies are comedy classics and should you get the chance, watch 'em!
	Come visit me and my thought processes at my website: http://www.publishedauthors.net/tdotdw/news.html "In the cold light, justice and morality always look corny and you can't wave the flag and look cool. But like it or not, society needs its heroes." - John Hart; actor who played The Lone Ranger.


Jeff	Aug 26 2008, 02:36 PM Post #10
Lord of Pie & BBWs Posts: 1,385 Group: Four Against Nature Member #3 Joined: Jul 6, 2008 Quote You are but the strongest KNIGHT! You should be able to ROCK ME!	Today's movies: Kamen Rider Den-O: Ore Tanjou! (I'm Born!) & Kamen Rider Den-O & Kiva: Climax Deka I am a huge Kamen Rider fan - and I make no secrets concerning that fact. For those not in the know, I'll give you the skinny. Kamen Rider is a long line of "Henshin" action/drama series that originated in Japan. Each series is a long, epic story, unveiled bit-by-bit with each progressive episode, rather than a Power Rangers-esque "Done-in-One" episodic series of events. There's usually a "main" character, even if there's a large supporting cast. Oh, and female riders die for some arbitrary reason, I don't know. Sometime during the series' respective runs, each rider (at least, the recent riders from Kuuga onwards) gets a movie. However, Toei's faithful cashcow, Kamen Rider Den-O has two, and a third in the works (Kamen Rider Den-O: Farewell). The first movie - Ore Tanjou! - is noteworthy because unlike most rider movies, it takes place between two clearly-defined episodes within the series, with events in the episodes building up to it, as opposed to other riders where their movies are prequels (Hibiki, Kabuto), alternate continuities (555, Blade), or other things. The movie picks up with events in the series where Den-O is led away from his time-traveling train, DenLiner, by a mere pawn, and the train is overrun with the time-traveling creatures known as Imagin - creatures who establish one 'wish' contracts with humans in order to use them as a gateway into the past to wreck stuff for giggles. DenLiner is hijacked by a ravenous, older man named Gaoh, in search of a train capable of not only traveling time, but consuming it and able to go back further than human memory in order to control everything. Den-O then suffers amnesia and, due to the nature of Imagins themselves, the four Imagin who fight alongside of the rider (Momotaros, Urataros, Kintaros, and Ryuutaros) begin to weaken and fade from time. Hana, a friend of Den-O, then has to lead a daring operation when they find themselves in the Edo era in Japan and have to steal DenLiner back, with help from another rider, Zeronos and his Imagin, Deneb. The movie, like all rider movies, is action-packed and is at its climax from start to finish! Spoiler: click to toggle Den-O regains his memory, and Zeronos brings Den-O from several different time periods over again, so that all the Imagin comrades can possess one form of him to all battle against the power-hungry Gaoh! That's it. If you want to know more, go download Den-O from TV-Nihon, suckers. Climax Deka, however, is a sequel to the series and a cross-over with 2008's rider, Kamen Rider Kiva. However, this fact sort of let me down, as the entire movie more or less focuses on Den-O. Not that I mind that, I happen to like Den-O a lot, but I was hoping both riders would be highlighted a lot more. The reason for this is probably that Den-O's series is done and Kiva's isn't, so trying to highlight Kiva too much might cause for contradictions in his series even though Spoiler: click to toggle this MOVIE is a contradiction to Den-O's series in that, at the end of the series proper, Den-O renounces his title and hands his rider pass back to the owner of DenLiner... but, meh. Weirder things have happened. However, the movie starts off with a cop chase scene that frankly could've been from "Vantage Point" let alone Kamen Rider, which actually works really well. Den-O and his comrades arrive and a narrator announces the new "DenLiner Police", a special task force for arresting evil-doers where ever in time they might be. However, a very powerful Imagin, Negataros, makes a deal with a powerful mob boss and strange, stained glass-like creatures known as Fangire (the monsters Kiva battles in his series) and begins trying to take over everything bit-by-bit. Another thing that worked surprisingly well in this movie was the overlying theme of detective and police work in addition to the outright combat of being a Kamen Rider, adding a layer of reality into the movie and series as a whole. We also learn Negataros stole the sole spare pass in the Owner's possession (who seems terrible about holding onto those things - Gaoh stole the Master Pass in Ore Tanjou! and now this!) and now is challenging Den-O and his comrades to a final showdown. Things really heat up when Kiva's companion, Kivatt, leads him to the battlefield! That's all you're getting out of me. Go check it out for yourself! Subs courtesy of TV-Nihon. (www.tvnihon.com)
	Come visit me and my thought processes at my website: http://www.publishedauthors.net/tdotdw/news.html "In the cold light, justice and morality always look corny and you can't wave the flag and look cool. But like it or not, society needs its heroes." - John Hart; actor who played The Lone Ranger.


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