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| Sean's Gaming Rants | |
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| Topic Started: Jul 6 2008, 09:32 PM (98 Views) | |
| Sean | Jul 6 2008, 09:32 PM Post #1 |
The ⑥of Four Against Nature
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(WARNING: There is some language unfit for the younger audiences to read, while not much, it is advised that you not read if you are sensitive to foul language.) Now, if I were doing my own review, be it solo or with Jeff, I'd probably go straight into the origins of how I found this game, but this isn't a review, moreso me bashing this game for all its worth. The story involves Eggman's latest plot to take over the world, using the ultimate weapon, the Gizoid. The Gizoid is capable of copying a person's moves by either experiencing them firsthand or simply watching them, however it lacks any moves from the start. So we basically have something that starts as powerful as a 4 year old, but has the potential to be the most broken fighting character in existance. Eggman, unable to get the Gizoid to work, throws it at Emerald Beach, where the main character, Sonic the Hedgehog finds it, and winds up naming it Emerl, due to the fact that the Gizoid uses Chaos Emeralds to empower itself (Wow, and I thought my naming was bad) The first problem is with Emerl's...style, so to speak. During the early portions you have to use him, it's a nightmare because he HAS NO MOVES THAT DO ANYTHING. Oh, he can attack, but it's as effective as an Xbox fanboy's review on Halo 3. (Anyone who happens to be an Xbox fanboy and wants to post here or email me saying how I insulted you, kindly jump off, because I hate you all.). And then later on, once you aquire skill points (Which you need to equip certain skills, another problem I have with this game, being that Skill Points are as easy to get as the Spleen Tanks in SF-X), and good skills, you can make Emerl a deathbeing....sorta. Sorta comes from the fact that the game has no sense of balance to it. My opponent could kill me with a punch to the shoulder, but if I were to drop an oil tanker on them, it would make them maybe tickle a little, almost as if the oil tanker was actually a feather tanker made out of teddy bears. If you say I'm exaggerating, please play the game and wonder who's the fucker at Sonic Team that thought being killed with one full combo (consisting of three-attacks, a heavy attack, and a persuit attack that DRIVES THEM INTO THE GROUND), while having to do about 4-6 of those on someone else was A GOOD IDEA?! And yes, this is like that for most of the game, except like...the first four or five battles? Something like that. Next, the AI. If you're in a 2 vs 2 (or 1), the enemy(or enemies) will target you, no exceptions. They will outright IGNORE your partner unless FORCED to retaliate against them, and charge at you. DO YOU KNOW HOW BLOODY ANNOYING THAT IS?! ESPECIALLY WHEN THE "Partner cannot live without you" IS IN EFFECT! By that, I mean if you die, regardless of how much strength your partner has, you LOSE. I HATE THAT KIND OF STUFF IN FIGHTING GAMES! IT'S FRUSTRATING AS ALL HELL! ....*cough, cough* *Takes a drink of soda* I think I've ranted about the core problems of the game enough. Now, let's move on to the stories and why I hate each one so much. Sonic's Story is the first, and is easy for the most part until the end where you have to fight Knuckles as Emerl, alone. Remember when I said Emerl fights like a 4 year old early on? This becomes evident when you struggle to damage Knuckles, having maybe two or three moves that aren't the default, while Knuckles can tear you to shreds with his attacks. And be careful, he can ONE SHOT you with Knuckles Punch (I swear to god, his Ground Power is this game's equivalent of the Falcon Punch.). The only way I won was because I equipped a Heavy Attack and kept kicking him into the wall until he finally got KOed, which doesn't always work because sometimes the prick will block and then kill you easily with a combo. Tails' Story is possibly the only easy one in the game, since you wind up using Tails only and usually wind up having a number advantage against the opponent, save for a few battles where it's equal. I have nothing else to say about this one. Rouge's Story starts off easy, and then starts to plummet during her "training", the first one being KO a Guard Robo (Which is just Gamma with a different Pallete. Come on, can't you be more creative than that?) 5 times in like 2 minutes. WITH EMERL, who unless you revisited stories and did Skill Point grinding, STILL Doesn't have enough moves to be good enough. The Second mission is KO Rouge 5 times without being KOed once, which is probably not training of Emerl's skills but training to see how long it takes before you throw your GBA against the wall. Rouge is a bitch and I hope she dies. It gets worse at the end where you have to fight SONIC, TAILS, AND KNUCKLES. ALONE. WITH THE USUAL IMBALANCED DAMAGE BULLSHIT. *breathes deeply* Okay...calm down Sean...remember your blood pressure....anyways, I won by spamming Rouge's mid-air attack, which they easily fall for. So I guess instead of making the AI smart, they just made them overpowered as fuck. Thanks, Sonic Team. Burn in hell. *Breathes deeply* I need a moment to relax myself before I enter AVGN levels of anger here. ......okay, better now. Knuckles' Story starts and ends without much difficulty, but the mid-part of the story always drives me insane, because there is a point where, as knuckles alone, you must fight two Guard Robos. After immense frustration, I won, only to have Sonic Team ramp it up and make it THREE ON ONE. I HAVE THREE GUARD ROBOS WHO RIP ME TO SHREDS WITHOUT A FULL COMBO, AND EXPLODE WHEN KOed. NO! I WON'T STAND FOR THIS....wait, I'm ranting on the whole game. I guess I have to deal with it. Fine, but I won't like it. Amy's Story is...mildly annoying. It's a nice refresher after Knuckles' story. Of course, it still has a problem with the Free for All with you, her and Cream, since it's easy to be put in a situation where you're killed in near one hit and then the other two kill each other and rack up KOs while you're strugging to defeat one only to be killed by the other and then having your kill sniped. This is made worse by the fact that Emerl STILL might not be strong enough to keep up. And yes, you have to win to progress. The Special condition battle with Rouge (Fighting without using special attacks with R) isn't that hard since by now you're probably used to just spamming your heavy attack over and over. Cream's Story is where I was ripping my cartridge out of my GBA and throwing it against the wall. The main problem comes in fast when you realize that Cream DOESN'T LIKE TO FIGHT, and you have to fight two opponents by yourself while she just stands there watching. If she doesn't like to fight, then why does she do this "boxercising" bullshit with Amy all the damn time?! IT'S STILL FIGHTING, EVEN THOUGH THE NAME OF IT IS CHANGED. THIS IS JUST INCONSISTANT STORYTELLING USED TO CREATE ARTIFICIAL DIFFICULTY TO THE GAME BY FORCING YOU TO FACE TWO OPPONENTS ON YOUR OWN, MADE WORSE BY THE FACT THAT THE ENEMIES CAN STILL DISPOSE OF YOU IN ONE FUCKING COMBO! AAAAAAAARGH! *Runs off, and the sounds of something hitting metal can be heard* *Walks back, a bandage now on his head* Okay, now I have a concussion. I hope you're happy that you drove me to this, game. Shadow's Story is easy up to the point that you have to go fight everyone in 1 on 1 10 KO Battles, except Shadow. I hate that part solely because it's tedious. Following that, you fight Shadow, who can and will beat your ass. And of course, you're still doing 1 on 1! CAN'T HAVE THAT, NOPE, WHICH IS WHY SONIC COMES IN AND YOU HAVE TO FIGHT THEM BOTH! I have nothing to say but "WHY?!" Hopefully by now you have a good combination of moves but if you don't, you'd best repeat a few of the stories until you do, otherwise this, and what's still to come will be a nightmare. The final story, Emerl's Story, will have you facing Eggman, who can float, attack you from a distance with missiles, and self-destruct on KO. That, plus the being able to dispose of you without much effort factor involved, puts you in a position where you just want to spam your heavy attack over and over. Nothing new, right? But what's this? Emerl goes berserk and tries to destroy the earth! Sonic has to step in and fight the berserk Emerl, who pulls a "Gameshark Manuever" by having all of his Ultimate Skills, despite not being able to equip them with the 500 skill points you could have at max. So now you, as Sonic, an average character, has to fight Emerl, who wildly beats you into submission with his attacks until you're begging for mercy. Guess what? Time to spam Heavy Attacks! Have fun! ....That's about it. The Free-play mode is nothing special, the Challenge mode isn't either, and I can only play one of the minigames, which is basically Minesweeper. Hope you enjoyed my ranting of the game, even though it's old as hell now, but...whatever! Seeya later! Edited by Sean, Jul 7 2008, 06:41 PM.
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| Sean | Jul 6 2008, 09:33 PM Post #2 |
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The ⑥of Four Against Nature
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*The language warning applies here too, FYI* Greetings All. Sean here. So, I've been playing some time playing a game known as Gunbound. It's a cartoony artillery fire game. Jeff, Bryan, Rem and I have spent a good deal of time playing the game, and for the most part we've been enjoying it. However, the keyword is: For the most part. You see, there were some people who were...shall we say, less than intelligent when playing this game. Let's look at some trends that particularly aggravated me when playing this game. One of the first things we encountered when we started playing were the twinks. We were encountering Chicks and Wood Hammers using gear that I STILL can't afford today, and I'm a bloody Double Gold Axe! Yeah, twinks are in lots of games and this problem was easily fixed by the kick feature, so I'll end this one there. The hugest problem one encounters would be the impatients. People in this game seem to have attention spans so low that goldfish would be more qualified to play this game. News Flash, you insatiable assholes: Games do NOT start instantly. You are not going to freaking explode because you had to..GASP, WAIT TO PLAY. OH MY GOD! WAITING! SO HORRIBLE! HOW CAN ONE POSSIBLY STAND IT?! Seriously, this is a trend in numerous games that drains what little sanity I have left. Why the FUCK do people enter a room, wait two seconds, and then leave?! It aggrivates me to no end! A subtier of the impatient group is the "Come here >>>>>" group. .......what the hell, guys? Can you REALLY not stand to wait a bloody moment to play that you have to force other people to your team just to satisfy the minimum conditions?! Also, if you're going to do this, at least speak freaking ENGLISH. I remember when someone used "OverlordSean>>>>>" on me, I had no idea what they were going on about. Are you seriously so lazy that you can't just say "Move to the other team"? No, instead you have to make up a name and arrow scheme. Can't I just play the damn game without having to use a fucking thesaurus or something in order to understand what you're saying? What's wrong with you all?! ANOTHER SUBTIER OF THE IMPATIENTS were the spammers, who would literally, the SECOND there were enough players start spamming the name of the game master to get them to start the game. I dunno, do you feel like hearing your screenname repeated over and over? I sure as hell don't like hearing OVERLORDSEAN OVERLORDSEANOVERLORDSEANOVERLORDSEANOVERLORDSEANOVERLORDSEAN. LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE, I'LL START THE GAME WHEN I'M GOOD AND READY! Also, allow me to add something here: STOP SAYING YOU'RE PRO WITH THE BLOODY NAK. EVERYONE IS PRO WITH THE NAK BECAUSE THE NAK IS THE MOST BROKEN MOBILE IN THE GAME. Seriously, it does enough damage to where all you need is decent gear to OHKO someone with it, and it's not hindered by ground because shots go THROUGH IT. Seriously, game developers, how do you let that still exist? Do you not notice 60% of the player population (Being generous there) using the Nak, doing absurd amounts of damage with little assistance and claiming that they're pro?! Despite this, we held on and moved on and eventually reached a point where we could no longer play in the Newbie Zone, and so we moved on to the Amateur and Open zones. This is where things went downhill, because the numbers of DTers and Dual Whores skyrocketed. I don't mean just went up into the sky. I mean it went up past the sky, past the stratosphere, out into space, up into pluto, took pictures and then CAME BACK. That doesn't make sense you say? I DON'T CARE. YOU GET THE POINT. You know what was worse about the DTing and Dual Whoring? People were claiming it as Strategy and Teamwork! News Flash, morons: It's not strategy. Strategy implies it took some thought to come up with it. Then again, knowing how much of twits you all are, I wouldn't be surprised if it was a mentally strenuous plan. Next time actually pay attention in school instead of screwing around like a complete and utter failure. Another variation of the ____ Whoring is the new Vampire whoring. It involves spamming the Vampire item, a new in-game item that you must purchase at the game shop. Basically, you recover health equal to half the damage you do, and you can use it over and over. I really wish I was making this up. This is even MORE Annoying than Dual Whoring because the enemy HEALS. Combine that with Dual-Whoring and even a Nak and you have an unstoppable beast of a mobile. This is the most unbalanced piece of shit since the AI in Soul Calibur 3! THIS IS NOT STRATEGY, PEOPLE. IT'S BUYING ITEM, PUTTING IT IN INVENTORY, USING IT 42^3 TIMES AGAINST YOUR OPPONENT, ????, PROFIT. NOW DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO ME?! YOU'RE MAKING ME USE RETARDED MEMES. I HOPE YOU'RE FUCKING HAPPY! *Pant...Pant...* Seriously, a mentally crippled Chimpanzee could come up with this strategy, although that probably sounds genius to the lot of you. I hate you all. It's these problems that are making me seriously consider giving up Gunbound altogether. |
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| Rem | Jul 7 2008, 05:36 PM Post #3 |
Why yes, I do like snickerdoodles.
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The only problem with this is that you never explain what dualing is. If someone else joins our forum, I don't want them asking. D: Dualing is when instead of shooting once, you shoot twice, thus double the damage. Combine this with vampire whoring and you have an unnstoppable beast who like eating babies for breakfast. |
 Have you ever wondered what color air is? | |
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| Sean | Jul 8 2008, 08:28 PM Post #4 |
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The ⑥of Four Against Nature
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OH ye gods I'm an idiot. Topic is unlocked. Sorry about that. |
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| Sean | Aug 2 2008, 12:07 AM Post #5 |
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The ⑥of Four Against Nature
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*Notice: Bare in mind that since a rant on every online based game ever would take me ages, I'm doing something different here. I'm going to go on a subject by subject basis and rate a small list of online games on a scale of 1 to 10, with snarky remarks. The games in question are: Gunbound, Flyff, Ogame, and Fiesta. The point of this rant is to basically focus on the negative for the most part. I am not doing this to intentionally piss off fanboys. That's a bonus. If you're going to flame me for saying something negative about your favorite game, don't bother, and go fuck yourself.* Point 1: Playerbase Now, the Massively Multiplayer part of an MMORPG is one of the critical parts of said MMO\Online Game\Whatever. The Playerbase and how you are to work with it can make or break the game in some circumstances. Gunbound: 2\10: See Jeff's Rant and the Gunbound Drinking Game. That pretty much summarizes my thoughts right there. For the lazy: People who bitch and moan over your use of items and mobiles, complete retards that think they know what they're talking about, impatient people, and people who claim they're pro and then hack to get infinite turns. The only reason this DOESN'T get a 0 is because of the slim chance you actually meet people who AREN'T Fucktards. Flyff: 1\10: People bothering you to be in your party, or for buffs, or to be your friend, or guild, or whatever. This actually does score less than Gunbound because all you get are the rare instances where people will buff you for free. That's the only GOOD thing about the playerbase. And you CANNOT AVOID THE IDIOTS, no matter HOW hard you try. Ogame: 0\10: Everyone wants you dead. The game isn't even PLAYABLE because of the aggressive behavior of the playerbase. You'll be annihilated by the time you reach the midgame. Fiesta: 4\10: Basically the same problems as everything else but you can actually mute everyone so you don't have to tolerate them. Point 2: Balance Game Balance is a crucial part of gameplay, as without the proper balance in gameplay, the difficulty either drives you mad or doesn't entertain you, and you lose interest in the game. Gunbound: 0\10: There IS no Balance. All you need to do is use Nak\Dual\Vampire with passable aim and you win. If you remove those factors from play, the mobiles all have their specialties and there are a number of possible stratagi--oh wait, you can't ban mobiles from play. All you can do is ban use of the Dual. And then nobody will want to play with you for being a "noob" Flyff: -3\10: Yes. Negative 3 out of ten. Balance is HORRIBLE in this game because regular enemies are too easy and bosses are so hard you might as well not bother. This game is simply NOT FUN. Ogame: -5\10: THIS IS EVEN WORSE. ONCE YOU GET NOTICED BY HIGH LEVEL PLAYERS IT'S OVER, BECAUSE THEY WILL BITCHSLAP YOU INTO NONEXISTANCE. THERE IS NO POINT. Fiesta: 7\10: Fiesta actually has DECENT GAME BALANCE. HOLY SHIT. You aren't raped by high tier enemies as long as you're decently leveled, and regular enemies can still be a challenge if you take on large mobs. The only reason this loses points is because having a healer essentially makes you incredibly tough to kill. Point 3: Money System Every RPG has a currency! You need money to buy new equipment and whatnot. If a game has a problematic Currency System, you might find yourself pulling your hair out trying to play it. Gunbound: 4\10: Gold can be hard to obtain if you aren't playing 3v3 or 4v4 and items can cost a large amount of money if you intend to buy it limitlessly. However, it's at least managable, at least in my opinion Flyff: 1\10: Money is VERY hard to obtain and late-game equipment costs LOTS of money. In fact, the only way to get large amounts of money and get access to good stuff is to more or less play the system, I.E: Sell your rare items for about 1 million Penya (currency), buy items for like 300k, and then sell them for 400k or something. Essentially, play Flyff: Business Edition. Boring. Moving along... Ogame: 0\10: Resources take a large amount of time to accumulate, and ships and buildings cost large amount of resources to make. Not to mention once you start getting attacked and losing (Oh, and trust me, you will), you'll LOSE some of those resources. Fiesta: 8\10: Money isn't tremendously difficult to come by, prices are not too cheap but not too expensive, and the only reason you'd have to play Business Edition is if you're trying to Point 4: Customization It's always nice to have variety when playing, right? Of course! Everyone likes that! Everyone loves customizing characters to their liking! Gunbound: 6\10: I actually like Gunbound's customization. You can choose a mobile and items that suit your play style, and you can have a fairly wide variety of avatar items to mix up your appearance. However, as stated in previous points, you're going to constantly be bombarded by idiots who call you a noob for your choices of mobile\items, and the avatar and expendable items (Special secondary items) still cost a large sum of money Flyff: 1\10: Customization is laughable. You have short options for changing character appearance, and in the end only two classes are good. Healer and Mage. Mage does damage and Healer Heals. Mercenary is pointless because what's the point of having a Tank if even THEY die in two to three hits or by one lucky critical? Oh, and the Acrobat is fucking useless. Does Flyff have ANY good quality to it? Ogame: N\A Fiesta: 8\10: Every class has a good use and general play style for it, and you even have some room to go off on a different path (Example: Bryan is a cleric and he actually does more damage than me, the fighter. Granted, he's several levels higher than me but still...). Appearance is just as limited but I'm willing to let that go in this case. Point 5: Quests Everyone loves quests, right? They give you something to do and they make you feel accomplished! Gunbound: N\A Flyff: 0\10: There are VERY few quests through the whole game and they all SUCK, because 90% of them involves collecting large amounts of items with an absurdly low drop rate. What a fucking joke of a game, seriously. Ogame: N\A Fiesta: 7\10: There are numerous quests, several are repeatable, and they are varied into Item Drops, which are actually SANE, Kill certain amount of enemies, find X person or collect certain items by gathering Yeah, it's fairly repetitive but I'm willing to overlook that since MMOs as a whole are like this. Total Scores: Gunbound: 12\40 (Kinda shitty) Flyff: 0\50 (Absoloute Utter Shitstain on MMO-kind) Ogame: -5\30 (Get this fucking monstrosity off of the internet) Fiesta: 34\50 (The only thing here that's actually FUN to play.) This is Sean and this has been an MMO rant Edited by Sean, Aug 2 2008, 12:08 AM.
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| Root | Aug 2 2008, 12:12 AM Post #6 |
The Speaker for the Dead
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Most excellent...very funny, mostly because it's 100% true, having played all of these games. So sad, in a way. |
Does being the only sane one make me the insane one, in a sort of way? Though my eyes could see, I was still a blind man; Though my mind could think, I still was a madman... "Yes there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run...there's still time to change the road you're on" | |
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| Jeff | Aug 3 2008, 03:17 PM Post #7 |
Lord of Pie & BBWs
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Good stuff, Sean, but there are one or two things I'd like to disagree with. 1) Customization in Ogame. To be completely fair, to say there's no customization isn't entirely true. You can build a planet dedicated to warfare, to exploring empty spaces, to advancing the sciences and many other things. The downside from this is that if you don't have weapons and defenses out the wazoo from the word "Go", you will be raped by everyone and their dog. It's not to say there's no customization, but that's more of a blow to the playerbase again than the game proper. 2) Quests in Gunbound This is debatable. Every so often, special events will occur where in-game optional goals are offered, rewarding you with large amounts of money and GP (the in-game rank system is based on the GP numbers, for those who don't know). To call those "quests" in the traditional sense is dubious, but worth mentioning. 3) Customization in FLYFF You used to be able to change your appearance a lot more... now you have to pay in-game money for it. That should be an even BIGGER mark down than the one you proposed... Just thought I'd bring those up. Good stuff, dude. |
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Come visit me and my thought processes at my website: http://www.publishedauthors.net/tdotdw/news.html "In the cold light, justice and morality always look corny and you can't wave the flag and look cool. But like it or not, society needs its heroes." - John Hart; actor who played The Lone Ranger. | |
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| Sean | Aug 3 2008, 04:07 PM Post #8 |
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The ⑥of Four Against Nature
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1) I didn't mention that because of that reason. I suppose yes, I should mark that there is customization in how you can do things, but It's altogether futile because if you aren't a war planet you will DIE. 2) Yeah, but those are like special uber rare events that happen like once a year. I don't feel it counts in that regard. 3) I don't think they crippled the original customization rather then just have a sucky one and make you pay out the behind for anything better |
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| Rem | Aug 4 2008, 12:23 AM Post #9 |
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Why yes, I do like snickerdoodles.
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Good thing you crossed that out! =D I agree with mostly everything you said, except Fiesta really doesn't have much customization. It has less then most MMORPGs out there. While it's fun, you can only choose one face and 3 hair colors without spending money. Edited by Rem, Aug 4 2008, 12:24 AM.
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Have you ever wondered what color air is? | |
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