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Four Against Nature Archives; Made by Sean: Chapters I-V
Topic Started: Jul 6 2008, 04:28 PM (66 Views)
Sean	Jul 6 2008, 04:28 PM Post #1
The ⑥of Four Against Nature Posts: 738 Group: Four Against Nature Member #1 Joined: Jul 6, 2008 Quote Deep-minded, covered in about three layers of nerdiness.	Four Against Nature: Episode I: Brought Together through a rediculous Premise. (Beginning Notes: We're assuming this takes place in late May of 2008, and that, despite being impossible by time constraints, I have a New Jersey Student Learner's Permit, allowing me to be able to Drive provided a licensed driver 21 or over is supervising. and since it's late May, Jeff would be 21, and I'm giving him a New Jersey Driver's license....because I can. So...yeah. I can drive in this story. STFU. Also, this is taking place in New Jersey, but not at my actual address. Also, my parents are in florida, so I'm living by myself despite that probably being illegal at 16. Lulz. Let's begin!) "The Infinite Improbability Drive is a wonderful new method of crossing vast interstellar distances in a mere nothingth of a second, without all that tedious mucking about in hyperspace. It was discovered by a lucky chance, and then developed into a governable form of propulsion by...SEAN!" The Narrative voice stopped. Moments later, a more normal voice spoke "Wha? I didn't make the Infinite Improbability Drive....Although it would be cool if I did...I'd have my own ship with it. I'd be orange, because orange is awesome....I'm hungry. I should probably make something when I get home. Maybe some hot pockets? mmm....hot pockets.." "SEAN!" A Sharp, female voice rang out. The Young man brought his head up from his book. "Huh?" The young man spoke. "HUH?" The Teacher replied, in a mocking tone. "Sean! Activity 5, Number 3!" Sean remembered he was in spanish class. He brought his head back down to look at his spanish book, to make it look like he had some idea of what he was doing, and then grimaced as he saw the green cover of his notebook. 'Dammit...' Sean thought. 'I forgot to open my book....' He nervously flipped through the pages, before finding Activity 5 in the section he was on, not that knowing what the problem was helped any.... "Erm....." Sean grunted, puzzled.... "Me...." The teacher spoke, trying to jog Sean's memory. "Oh! Me Levantarse?" Sean asked, in his broken accent. He WAS capable of doing a good accent, since he is of spanish backround, but in a tight spot, it winds up becoming a shoddy job of an accent. "Very Good!" the teacher spoke, almost like she was talking to a four year old, sparking laughter from the other students. Sean covered his face and scowled at his teacher's condecending tone, thinking about how he could destroy her when he takes over the world....until the bell rang, anyways. "Thank God..." Sean muttered quietly, before grabbing his books and running out of the class and upstairs to his locker. He quickly grabbed his books, put them in his bag, and headed out of the building. he took this time to think for a minute. 'Ugh...I really need to stop getting distrancted in spanish class. Meh, why do I care? As long as I PASS the damned class I won't have to see a spanish class again for the rest of my life. One more month is all I need to deal with....' His house was close to his school, so he had already arrived within a few minutes. He took out his key and opened the door, greeted by his two dogs. He gave them both a quick pat on the head, and walked over to the other side of the house, to the back, and let them out. "It's really warm today..." Sean muttered to himself. "Maybe I'll go swimming..." Sean nodded as a way of confirming that decision, and quickly ran upstairs to change into his swim trunks. This, however, is a boring event. Therefore, while that is going on, we will move on to something far more interesting. For example, the fact that there are three people, as we speak, approaching Sean's house. Walking down the streets of New Jersey right now..well, there are many people doing that at this time of day. However, there are three specific people walking down the streets of New Jersey, with a specific destination. The residence of one Sean Sanchez. The one in front is a frighteningly tall man, with short hair, and a blue T-shirt on, which appears to have a large red J in the center. The eerily devious grin on his face could be seen from miles. In the middle is a shorter and thinner young man, also short haired, with a very cynical look on his face. The kind of face that makes you think he's the kind of person who always says "Something is going to go wrong." A person like that must have amazing foresight... And, in the back, a hyperactive young girl, also with a devious grin on her face. Hers, however, seemed more frightening. After a bout of silence, the tall man began to speak. "Finally, we're near his house." He paused a moment before nodding, and added "about damn time, too." "I don't think this is a good idea." said the Cynical one. The tall guy elbowed him in response. "Stop being a pessimist, Bryan." The tall one replied. Bryan clutched his face in pain, groaning, and then responded. "I prefer the term Realistic, Jeff." "You say Potato, I say Pie." There was an awkward pause, before Bryan replied "What the HELL are you talking about?" "Come on, Root...." Started the Hyperactive girl. "It makes perfect sense!" "Not to me...." "That's because you're stupid!" Jeff chimed in. Bryan kicked him in the back, but he didn't budge. In fact, Bryan moved more than Jeff. "DAMN YOU AND YOUR TALLNESS!" Bryan sighed in defeat, and then turned over to the Hyperactive girl. "Rem, tell me. How is it so simple?" Rem was about to explain, but Jeff decided to once again become the center of attention. "Hey! Look! We're here!" "Finally..." Bryan muttered under his breath." "Before we go in..." Jeff started. "Rem, why do you call Bryan Root when we all call him Bryan?" "Root's a cooler name." Rem stated simply. "BOW BEFORE ME, FOR I AM ROOT!" Bryan pumped his fists into the air triumphantly. Jeff's fist had a pleasent chat with the back of Bryan's head. "OW! WHY ARE YOU HURTING ME?!" Bryan yelled. "Because we haven't gotten to Sean yet." Jeff replied bluntly. "Let's go in." "How?" Rem asked. "We break in." "Isn't that...illegal?" Bryan asked in his usual tone. Jeff just waved him off. "a silly little thing like morality never stopped me." Jeff ran over to the side of the house, and hopped the fence, getting caught halfway and falling with a thud. Bryan and Rem hopped over, using Jeff as a cushion. "Could you get off of me?" He groaned, muffled by the ground in his face. "I dunno, this is comfortable..." "GET OFF!" The two got off, allowing Jeff to stand back up. Suddenly, they heard barking. "Oh right....I forgot Sean had two dogs..." Jeff chuckled nervously, almost like he was about to cry. The two dogs ran up to them, barking furiously. One of them was a medium sized dog with black fur, and scarred eyes. he had the most vicious look on his face. The other was significantly larger, with brown and black fur (mostly brown), and a calmer, yet still frightening look. Jeff and Bryan jumped back. Rem stepped forward. "No, Rem!" Bryan called out. "Don't be a hero!" Rem simply gave the dogs a pat on the head...and then promptly knocked them out with a bat. Bryan and Jeff stood there, half amazed and half frightened. Bryan finally spoke. "Rem....Why did you hurt the dogs with a bat?" Rem turned around. "It's okay! It's a sleeping bat! It didn't hurt them. just put them to sleep for a while!" "Rem...those don't exist." "Sure, pick NOW to tell me that." "..." There was yet another awkward pause, and then Rem chimed in again. "Maybe because they didn't know, they'll just be asleep?" "....I'm not going to argue that logic, because you'll bite me." "Thank you for reminding me!" Rem bit Root on the shoulder. He opened his mouth to scream, but nothing came out of his mouth. Jeff, grabbing the two's attention, began to speak. "The dogs are not injured at all, surprisingly. They ARE just sleeping." "I TOLD YOU!" Rem chimed in. "Now let's go torture Sean!" She ran off before they could argue. After a pause, Jeff began. "Do the impossible, see the invisible..." "Row Row...Fight da powah...." Bryan continued where Jeff left off, albeit weakly. The Trio approached the secondary fence between the main area of the yard and the pool area. Jeff peeked his head out, and saw Sean floating in the pool, eyes closed, relaxing. "Alright...it's time..." Jeff began. "Yay! It's time!" Rem chimed in. "Time for what, dare I ask?" Root added. "It's time..." Jeff began.. "FOR THE ROOTAPULT!" Jeff gestured to a large wooden catapult. Bryan looked at the thing. "Wait...Rootapult?" Before the implications of the statement could set in, Root was already grabbed by Jeff and tied up by Rem to prevent escape. "WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" Bryan cried. "Shut up." Jeff yelled, and threw Bryan into the Rootapult. "LAUNCH THE ROOTAPULT, REM!" Rem grabbed the rope and pulled on it with all of her might, and she kept running farther down the backyard. "Oops. Guess I used too much rope...." Jeff put his hand behind his head. Bryan, unable to use his hands, smacked his face against the side of the cup containing him in frustration. Finally, the device triggered, sending Root flying. Meanwhile, Sean was floating about in his pool, enjoying the cool water on his skin. He was so relaxed he almost didn't hear the screaming of the oncoming Bryan. Almost. But, given the fact that we're talking about a person going flying at a couple dozen miles per hour through the air into someone's pool, how could you miss the screaming. Sean brought his head up and saw a figure coming down on him. He paused for a moment in shock and fear, before diving underwater. Bryan fell with a rather spectacular splash. Sean, underwater, recognized the figure as Bryan, and realized he couldn't move and was drowning. After waiting about a minute for no apparent reason, he finally grabbed Bryan and pulled him up to the surface. Bryan coughed a bit, letting air into his lungs. "AIR! SWEET, SWEET AIR I LOVE YOU!" Bryan cried out in relief. after realizing he was alive, he managed to wiggle out of the rope, and then turned to Sean. "WHY DIDN'T YOU LET ME OUT SOONER?! I COULD HAVE DROWNED!" Sean looked at him as if he asked a question like "Why is the sky purple?" After composing himself, he responded. "I was trying to figure out WHY YOU WERE IN MY BLOODY POOL!" He yelled back, splashing to accentuate his anger. "YOUR POOL IS NOT BLOODY, SIR! IS IT RED? NO!" "YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, YOU BIG POSH SOD WITH PLUMS IN YOUR MOUTH!" "YOU MAKE PIGS SMOKE!" "YOU HAVE TWENTY FOOT HIGH CHICKENS!" This arguement continued on for god knows how long before screaming occured again. They both looked up to see a much larger figure heading for the pool. "oh HELL NO." Both of them said, simultaneously, before diving underwater. That, however, did not help. Jeff hit the pool with a rediculous splash, which knocked Bryan into the railing of the pool, and knocked Sean into the railing, and then OUT OF THE POOL with a thud. Jeff surfaced. Fortunately he was more than tall enough to stand in the pool. "Uhh....Guys?" He began.. "She flung you too?" Bryan finished for him. "Yes...." Jeff sighed, almost ashamed of himself. Sean poked his head out from the side of the pool. "You're talking about Rem, aren't you?" Bryan and Jeff looked at each other, and then sighed. "Yes..." "Bugger." Speak of the devil, Rem ran in, overly excited as usual. "Hi!" She yelled, running up to the front of the pool. Sean walked up to the front of the pool as well, while Root and Jeff climbed out from inside the pool. Once they had all assembled, Sean began to speak. "Alright. I'm going to ask you as nicely as I can." He began. "Which means you're going to scream and curse, right?" Jeff interrupted. Sean grabbed a stick from the side and smacked Jeff across the face. "DO NOT INTERRUPT ME!" He yelled back. "Now where was I? Right. I'm going to ask as nicely as I can. WHY ARE YOU AT MY HOUSE?!" He screamed. "It's a very long story..." Bryan said, trying to shrug the situation off. "Humor me." Jeff stepped up. "You see, we were getting bored of torturing you over the internet. So we all decided to come to New Jersey and torture you in person!" There was, yet again, an awkward pause. Sean opened his mouth to speak, but could not find the words. He made frantic hand gestures to try to get his point across, but in the end gave up. "You came all this way...I might as well be a good guest and invite you into the house...." "That's the spirit, Sean!" Rem shouted in reply. Sean sighed and pressed onward. Something in the back of his mind told him he was in for a looooooooong ride. Episode Over: Press R to Restart. Edited by Sean, Jul 6 2008, 04:41 PM.



Sean	Jul 6 2008, 04:28 PM Post #2
The ⑥of Four Against Nature Posts: 738 Group: Four Against Nature Member #1 Joined: Jul 6, 2008 Quote Deep-minded, covered in about three layers of nerdiness.	Episode II: The First Day. The Story so far: In the beginning the universe was created. This made many people angry and was widely regarded as a bad move. Wait, wrong story. What? am I going to stop referencing Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy? Maybe. Gotta keep reading to find out! The (Real) Story so far: Jeff, Bryan and Rem got bored of torturing Sean over the internet, and came to meet him in person to torture him. This made Sean angry and was widely regarded as a bad move, or at least to Sean it was. The group of four walked down the backyard back to Sean's house. The dogs were already up and barking at the three. "Tony. Lucky. Shut up. They're my guests." Sean muttered, still frustrated at the loss of his peace. The Dogs, trusting Sean, stopped barking and went on to do other stupid dog things. They quickly got inside the house, and Sean grabbed a drink from the fridge. "So, how long do you intend on staying here?" He asked, taking a sip from his drink. "I dunno, how long do you intend on staying here?" Jeff replied. "...What do you mean?" "We're moving in." Sean choked on his drink upon hearing that statement. Once he caught his breath, he responded. "Excuse me, did you say MOVING IN?!" "Thaaaaat's right!" yelled Rem excitefully. "NO!" Sean yelled. "PERMISSION NOT GRANTED!" "NO!" Jeff Yelled back "PERMISSION GRANTED!" "NO! U!" Sean yelled back. "NO! UR FACE!" Jeff yelled back "NO! I WANNA BE THE GUY!" Sean yelled, earning him strange looks from his friends. "...Nevermind." Sean brought his hand to his face. "You guys can't stay here." "Why not?" Bryan asked. "My parents explicitly stated No Roomates." Sean answered "Who says they have to know?" Jeff replied with a question of his own. "You're going to hide when they come to visit?" "Sean, do you honestly think that after leaving, your parents would come back to New Jersey." Sean growled in rage. He made a good point. "There's not enough room!" He lied. Jeff didn't even hesitate. "That's a lie and you know it. This house can easily fit about five people." "Do you guys just stalk me?" Sean asked, annoyed. "No, you just tell us this stuff." Jeff replied. Sean's reply was unorthodox...because his response was to smash his face against the kitchen table. "Why do you want to stay so much?" Sean asked, his voice muffled by the table. "To hang out, mostly." Jeff shrugged. "What about your own friends and family?" "Stop asking questions. We're staying and that's final." Jeff firmly stated. "I give up. Fine. Stay." Sean picked his head up. "I'm going to change and chill out in my room." Sean stated, and then he walked down the hallway, and up the stairs." Once all that was settled, Sean decided he might as well enjoy the visit. Obviously his friends got the idea first, since by the time he got out of the bathroom, Jeff was playing DDR and Rem and Bryan were watching, and laughing. Sean joined in after seeing Jeff try to dance. "Jeff...you look like an idiot." Sean pointed out. "Shut up!" Jeff snapped back, trying his hardest to hit the arrows in time. Rem and Bryan were whispering about something. "Do it." Bryan nodded with approval to what Rem suggested. Rem took out the toy lightsaber from the foot of Sean's bed and tripped Jeff. Jeff fell, and then the floor which he fell on fell too. Jeff's fall created a very loud crash, and the sound of multiple pieces of glass breaking. Sean stared in horror, Bryan stared in shock, and Rem, as expected, stared with amusement and joy. Sean walked up to the hole and looked down. "Jeff go down da hoooooooole..." Rem shouted. "Jeff....are you okay? Two grunts for yes, one for no, none if you're dead." "I...I think my spine was reduced to dust...." Jeff groaned from under the remains of the Kitchen table. Sean walked off, and then threw his DS down the hole. Surprisingly, Jeff caught it. "Something to enjoy yourself until the paramedics come." Sean sarcastically said. "Thaaaanks. Just what I want with a possibly broken back. a video game." Jeff replied, with twice as much bitter sarcasm. Rem approached Sean. He quickly turned around. "I wouldn't reccomend that." Sean stated, in a warning tone. "And if I do?" Rem replied. Sean remained silent for a moment. "DAMN ME AND MY MANNERS!" "Exactly!" Rem Grinned, and then tripped Sean as well, causing him to fall. More sounds of breaking objects occured, followed by a groan of pain from Sean. Following that, an ear-splitting scream of pain from Jeff. Rem wandered off to Sean's computer, while Bryan contemplated what to do. "Rem, do you think we should help them?" He turned to ask. "Five more minutes. I want to see if I can break into Sean's computer." Bryan sighed. "I think making sure Jeff and Sean are alright is more important." Rem turned around and made a face so frightening, Bryan could have swore Rem turned into a Dragon. "THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT! OKAY?!" Rem shouted. Bryan stood paralyzed with fear. "y..y...y..yes...." Bryan meekly replied, having, in his eyes, seen a Rem-Dragon. After Rem gave up trying to get into Sean's computer, she and Bryan went downstairs to check on Jeff and Sean. Surprisingly, they were well, as if the event didn't happen. "Weren't you guys in severe pain?" Bryan asked. the two shrugged and simultaneously stated "We got better." "...You can't just GET BETTER FROM SOMETHING LIKE THAT!" Bryan yelled back, trying to make sense of the matter. "Well, we DID." Jeff replied. Bryan sighed. "Fine. You're better. Yippy-skippy. Now what?" "First, BETA" Jeff said to Bryan "We stop saying stuff like "Yippy-Skippy."" "HEY!" Bryan Complained. "WHY DO I HAVE TO BE BUTT-CHIN?!" "Well, you DID say Yippy-Skippy." Sean added in. Before an arguement could ensue, the doorbell rang. "Who could that be?" asked Sean, puzzled. "I wasn't expecting company.." "Oh, that's for us!" Jeff chimed in. "Whut?" Jeff went to the door and opened it, and there was a man in a uniform there, and a Moving truck a few feet behind. "GUYS!" Jeff called out "OUR STUFF IS HERE!" "Awesome!" Rem called out, and then quickly ran up to the front door. "Wait, you brought your own stuff here?" Sean asked. "Well, of course." Replied Bryan. "We weren't going to leave our own stuff at home." "Hmm...good point." The three quickly got their stuff out of the moving truck. Sean pointed them over to the living room, where they put it all. "That's where it'll go until it can be reorganized into your own rooms." Sean told them. "Speaking of which, where are our rooms going to be?" Jeff asked. "I'm staying in my own room, ALONE." Sean stated, with a hint of annoyance in his voice. "Sociopath" Jeff remarked. "Shut up." Sean replied, and then continued "Anyway, the room where my parents used to be is spacious enough for two people. Bryan and Jeff will stay there. This room over here, where your stuff is right now, is where Rem will stay. Now that we know where to go, let's get everything moved to your room. The Computers will go into the Kitchen...this way we can all play games and make snide remarks at the same time." Sean caught his breath after that long sentence. Working together, the four got everything set up within a couple of hours. This meant though that it was already getting late, and the four were exhausted. "Whew...well, that's that." Sean said, before falling into the kitchen chair. "I'm beat" Jeff said, yawning. "I guess that's that, then?" Bryan commented. "Pretty Much" Sean replied. "Aww! I still have plenty of energy!" Rem complained. "Yes, but you're Rem. You never not have energy" Sean said, sarcastically. Rem apparently didn't like that and bit his arm. As expected, he screamed in agony. Bryan and Jeff laughed, and Sean ran at them both. the four of them fought like animals for a while, and then said "Screw it" and went to their respective rooms to sleep. Episode Over: Press R to Restart



Sean	Jul 6 2008, 04:29 PM Post #3
The ⑥of Four Against Nature Posts: 738 Group: Four Against Nature Member #1 Joined: Jul 6, 2008 Quote Deep-minded, covered in about three layers of nerdiness.	Episode III: Breakfast Incurs Madness (but not Sparta.) The day...technically has not begun yet. We set the story in the middle of a dream of Sean's, where he has just saved the world and is about to be rewarded by the beautiful princess. ....So yeah, he's obviously dreaming. ...Wait, did I just insult myself? I think I preferred the obscure references. "Thank you so much, Sean!" said the beautiful princess. "Are you ready for your reward?" "YES PLZ!" Sean said, smiling. For once in his life, everything was going good! The princess leaned in to give Sean a kiss....of course, Sean asks too much for his life to go good. "SEAN!" a voice yelled, waking him and bringing him back to reality. Sean turned around, to find Rem waiting. Sean paused for a moment, trying to remember what happened, and then sat up. "I'm going to ask this nicely.....WHY THE $*@$ DID YOU WAKE ME UP IN THE MIDDLE OF MY AWSUM DREAM?!" "That's nice?" Rem replied. "Anyways, I woke you up because I'm hungry." "....There's plenty of food in the kitchen. Make something." "I was too lazy!" Rem replied, with a slightly evil smile. Sean stopped for a minute, and turned around, and smashed his head against the wall, sobbing. "WHY?! WHY?! I WAS ABOUT TO GET KISS FROM THE TOTALLY HOT PRINCESS, AND THEN I GET WOKEN UP BY THE LAZY, CRAZY, HYPER GIRL!" "That's life" Rem shrugged "Anyways, I'll be downstairs. If you're not there within 10 minutes, you die." "Yeah, yeah, whatever" Sean replied bitterly. "I'll be there." "Good!" Rem ran off, leaving Sean alone. after a sigh, he grabbed the toy lightsaber from the side and walked over to the door of the room where Bryan and Jeff were staying. He violently smacked the door with the back-end of the lightsaber until Jeff and Bryan woke up and exited the room. "What do you want, Sean?" Jeff mumbled, annoyed. "Rem woke me up to make breakfast. I'm not the only one who's going to suffer." "Using Pain Split, huh, Seanichu?" Jeff responded cleverly "Shut up, Jeffizard." Sean replied. Bryan laughed, bringing him the attention of Sean and Jeff. "Stop laughing, Rootikarp." Both said. "At least I become a Gyararoot!" Bryan replied, proudly. "Nobody has the patience to level you that far, though." Sean replied. Bryan lowered his head "I'm sad in a Pokemon Reference...." After the arguing ended, the three went downstairs for breakfast. Sean began getting the materials needed to cook, while Rem, Jeff and Bryan annoyed him. "Sean, I want Eggs!" "Yuck, I don't want that in my food!" "Sean, cook faster!" This went on and on and on until Sean snapped. "STOP BLOODY COMPLAINING OR MAKE YOUR OWN FOOD!" Sean yelled. "You're already cooking, so why should we waste our time now?" Jeff replied. "So....you want food?" Sean asked, a hint of evil in his voice "Yes!" Jeff called out "I DO want food!" "Well..HERE YA GO!" Sean took the egg he had on his spatula and flung it at Jeff, hitting him square in the face. "OW! IT BURNS! IT BURNS!" Jeff ran around the room, ripping the egg off of his face, while everyone else was laughing at him. "Hurts, doesn't it?!" Sean called out. "THE FOOD HAS BETRAYED ME!" Jeff cried in anguish "MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD HAS BETRAYED ME!" Jeff ran into the corner and went into the fetal position, earning strange looks from his friends. "Did you just make a grown man CRY?!" Bryan asked in amazement. "He has the mentality of a 10 year old sometimes...so yes." Sean replied. "Sometimes?" Rem asked. "Touche" Sean laughed, and then an orange hit him in the back of the head. He turned around to see Jeff, standing up now. "NOW WHO'S BEST FRIEND HAS BETRAYED THEM?! HUH?!" Jeff yelled out. Sean remained silent. "Jeff...." Sean muttered under his breath... Jeff grabbed the Meat Tenderizing Hammer from the side, and then approached Sean. "What?" Sean turned around, lunging at Jeff with the Frying Pan "YOU DIE NOW!" The two then began an epic duel...with food preparing items. Jeff managed to swat the frying pan out of Sean's hand and was ready to deliver the finishing blow when another egg hits Jeff in the face, this one thrown by Bryan. "BOTH OF YOU STOP ACTING LIKE A BUNCH OF IMMATURE TWITS!" Bryan yelled out. "Sean, just make the bloody breakfast and get it over with! "Bugger it all..." Sean said, standing up. "Bloody bugger bugger bugger teatime bugger. Bloody tea, tea ,tea! Jolly good! because I'm British!" Rem chimed in. Sean finished breakfast and served it. The group ate, surprisingly quietly. After they finished, Sean stood up. "Are you ready for dessert?" Sean asked. "Dessert? After Breakfast?" Jeff replied. "Are you complaining?" "Not really, no." Sean went into the fridge and took out a big cake. "CAKE FOR DESSERT!" Sean yelled. Jeff and Bryan cheered. "But the Cake is a lie!" Rem commented. Upon that, the Cake vanished into oblivion. "Rem, you made the cake vanish!" Jeff yelled, disappointed. "The Cake may be a lie..." Rem started. "..but the pie is forever." And as she said that, a pie appeared on the plate. "YAY! PIE!" Jeff cheered and began to eat the pie. Rem joined in as well, and after a stunned moment, Sean and Bryan began eating the pie as well. "Rooty?" Rem asked, innocently. "Hm?" Bryan replied, swallowing his last bite, obviously suspicious of Rem's innocent demeanor. "3.14!" Rem yelled, flinging a piece of pie into Bryan's face. "...I should have seen that coming." Bryan sighed, wiping the chunk of pie off of his face. "Oh man, she got you good!" Sean commentated. Following that, he too took a chunk of pie to the face. "....you couldn't resist, could you?" Sean sighed "Nope!" Rem smiled. It didn't take long for them to finish the pie. However, looking behind them, they saw about twenty more pies. "...How did those get there?!" Sean asked, astounded. "Well, I DID say the Pie was forever..." Rem replied. three more pies materialized. They tried to finish off the pies, but they multiplied faster than they could eat, and eventually, the whole house was stuffed with pies....and then the house exploded in a shower of pies. Out of the rubble and pies came Sean, who stared at the remains of his house and screamed in frustration. "Calm down!" Jeff said, working his way out of the rubble himself. "It'll all be fine next episode!" "Next episode?!" Sean yelled. "WHAT THE BLOODY CRAP ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" Jeff pointed at the readers, and Sean turned to them. "....oh." EPISODE OVER: Press R to restart "WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT!" Sean yelled, interrupting the end. "EPISODE OVER?! LIKE THAT?! WHAT THE HELL!" "STFU" RLSean replied. "Back to your cage, or I swear...." Sean whimpered in reply to that, and walked off, defeated. "That's all folks!" RLSean said to the audience. "See you in Episode four!" EPISODE OVER (for real): Press R to restart.



Sean	Jul 6 2008, 04:29 PM Post #4
The ⑥of Four Against Nature Posts: 738 Group: Four Against Nature Member #1 Joined: Jul 6, 2008 Quote Deep-minded, covered in about three layers of nerdiness.	Episode IV: Why Time Travel is Bad Stuff. It was a peaceful day (surprisingly) at Sean's house. Jeff was in the compy room, browsing various websites...at least, until his mortal enemy, the Blue Screen of Death greeted him. "Damn it!" Jeff yelled, turning his computer off and then back on. He watched the screen impatiently waiting for the computer to return to the Login Screen, and then he got to his account. Everything seemed to be going well, but because Murphy's law is cruel, the minute Jeff thought that, the screen went blank and then displayed another Blue Screen of Death. "You son of a....." Jeff growled, and then repeated the process. "Problem?" Sean asked, walking into the room. "My computer feels like hating me today." Jeff replied, clearly annoyed. "Which makes it different from any other day how?" "...Stop talking, Sean." Jeff logged back in, not saying or thinking anything that might jinx the situation. After feeling confident all is well, he moved the mouse an INCH. Blue Screen of Death. "DAMN THIS CRAPPY PIECE OF MACHINERY!" Jeff stood up and grabbed a hammer, about to swing until Sean stopped him. "DUDE! DON'T SMASH THE THING TO PIECES!" Sean grabbed the hammer away from him. Jeff grumbled and sat back down, looking at the restarting computer. Rem popped in while he was setting up. "What's up?" she asked. "Jeff's having computer problems" Sean replied "Shut up." Jeff snapped "...and he's being pissy about it." He added "I said shut up." Jeff was back at the menu. There was a pause. He moved the mouse a little, and the computer remained stable. "finally" he breathed a sigh of relief and opened up AIM. Blue. Screen. Of. Death. "GOD DAMN YOU!" Jeff screamed at his computer in anger, but no, that wasn't enough. To rub salt in the wound, suddenly, an error box came up saying "Bluescreen has encountered an error, Bluescreen must close" Jeff's eye twitched violently as he watched the screen. "Ha ha!" Rem laughed "You fail at failing!" That was the straw that broke the Jeff's back, so to speak. "THAT'S IT! YOU GO SMASHY SMASH NOW!" Jeff screamed in rage "...coherency much?" Sean replied, earning him a backhand to the face. Jeff began mercilessly kicking and punching his computer, yelling "ORAORAORAORA" the entire time. After a sound beating, he took out a hammer and continued to wildly pound the thing "HIKARI NI NARA!" after a hammer-beating, Jeff took out a drill. "Where the crap did you get that?!" Sean shrieked, flustered. "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?!" Jeff yelled, before drilling his computer. This proved to be a mistake, however, as a portal that looked very similar to one from Chrono Trigger appeared. "Uh...guys?" Jeff spoke, calmly and afraid. "Yeah?" Sean replied "I done screwed up, didn't I?" "What was your first clue?" Bryan bitterly responded. "When did you get here, Bryan?" Rem asked, confused "I was here the whole time, nobody noticed me." Bryan answered, in a mock sadness. Yet another conversation was interrupted as the portal sucked the four in..... Many years ago..... The portal opened, releasing the four where they were sucked in. ...only some several millions of years prior. "Dude..." Sean gasped "We're...in DA PAST!" "Really?" Bryan responded sarcastically. "I COULD HAVE SWORN WE JUST GOT WARPED TO A VIRTUAL JUNGLE IN THE YEAR 2150!" "...your sarcasm hurts, you know." "So does this." Bryan smacked Sean across the face. "OW!" Jeff stood up. "Alright children, calm down. The important thing here is to find some way home...and to NOT touch anything. That might cause some serious damage to the timeline." "Jeff..." Bryan started, standing up from where they landed. "We're all mature people here. ...except Sean." "Burn in hell." Sean responded bitterly. "Just kidding, Sean. Anyways, I'm sure we can do this without causing any damage." Of course, because Irony is a cruel mistress that hates us all, Bryan tripped and landed on a bug. This somehow caused a set of events that lead to the British winning the Revolutionary War...making everyone British. "Cor Blimey!" Sean exclaimed "Look what you've gone and done now, Bryan!" "Bloody hell!" Bryan grunted, doing a facepalm. "Way to bugger the whole bloody thing up, Bryan." Jeff shook his head in disgust. To make matters worse, Rem got distracted and started playing with a dinosaur. This play session caused several trees to fall and somehow caused Sean to not be born. "...Rem...?" Bryan barely managed to whisper. "...yes?" she responded "You just made Sean unexist." "YAY! I MADE SOMEONE UNEXIST!" "Good for you, but the person you made unexist is a friend of ours." "Eh, sacrifices must be made for the perfecting of my powers." "...you really frighten me, sometimes more than others." "Thanks!" (Author's Note: Yes, I know they're talking normal now. Why? Because I wasn't going to keep up the British stereotypes in fear of offending people. What? You want an explanation in story-form why I did it? You unsatiable lot...fine) "Wait, why are we speaking normally again?" Jeff commented, curiously. "The Author did it for the lulz." Rem replied. (Author's Note: There. Happy? No, WELL TOO BAD!) "Well, we've already unexisted one of our team members" Bryan said, recounting the events. "What's next to screw up?" "We haven't caused a Time Paradox yet." Jeff replied "Well technically.." Rem started. "Oh no..." Bryan interrupted. "AHEM!" Rem snapped back. "As I was saying, if Sean doesn't exist, we couldn't have all met, and we couldn't have gotten sucked into the portal toge--" WORLD ENDS. (Author's Note: God damnit. Now I gotta push the reset button.) One Resetting of events later.... Jeff's eye twitched violently as he watched the screen. "Ha ha!" Rem laughed "You fail at failing!" That was the straw that broke the Jeff's back, so to speak. "THAT'S IT! YOU GO SMASHY SMASH NOW!" Jeff screamed in rage "JEFF, NO!" Bryan yelled out. "YOU'LL SEND US TO THE PAST IF YOU DO!" "Oh..." Jeff remembered. "Right...How will I take out my anger now?" "You can beat up Sean!" "Good Idea, Bryan!" "WHAT?!" Sean yelled. "COME OVER HERE!" Sean ran, and Jeff gave chase. Things were back to normal.



Sean	Jul 6 2008, 04:30 PM Post #5
The ⑥of Four Against Nature Posts: 738 Group: Four Against Nature Member #1 Joined: Jul 6, 2008 Quote Deep-minded, covered in about three layers of nerdiness.	Episode V: The Cake is a Lie It was another day at Sean's house, pretty ordinary overall. Jeff, Sean, and Rem were relaxing in the kitchen after dinner. "Ahhh.." Jeff sighed, leaning back. "That was great. I'm stuffed." "Really Jeff?" Sean replied "You only ate the equivalent of 12 people's dinners, after all." "Shuddap" Jeff snapped back. Bryan walked in, clutching his stomach in pain. "Ugh..." he moaned. "Problems, Bryan?" Jeff asked. "Oh no, I'm just dandy!" Bryan answered sarcastically. "I mean, EVERYONE FEELS GOOD WHEN THEY'VE BEEN IMPALED BY A FREAKING SPATULA, RIGHT?!" "Listen Bryan, I didn't think the Spatula would go THROUGH you." Jeff replied. "WHY THE HELL WERE YOU BUILDING A SPATULA CANNON ANYWAY?!" "The internet was down and I was bored, give me a break." "Oh I'll give you a break alright..." Bryan took out a sledgehammer and approached Jeff, but Sean grabbed it away from him. "Enough, the both of you!" Sean yelled. "Keep this up and you won't get dessert!" "Ooh, dessert!" Jeff prepared himself to eat...again. "I thought you said you were stuffed?" Sean pointed out. "I always make room for dessert." "I'm sure you do." Sean sighed, and took out a cake from the fridge and placed it on the table. "Cake time!" "Cake?" Rem asked "But isn't the cake a..." Sean covered her mouth before she could finish that statement. "DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME YOU SAID THAT?!" Sean screamed. Rem didn't reply. She just bit his hand. As to be expected, Sean screamed and used many words which I cannot repeat for the sake of keeping this story PG-13 at minimum. "Wait wait wait..." Jeff stood up, interrupting Sean's tirade. "What was that last word? Was that even real?" "IT IS NOW!" Sean screamed, before calming himself down. "Alright, just dig in." They were about to eat the cake when the door opened. A familiar figure ran into the room. It was...Andrew! "Andrew?" Sean coughed, surprised. "What are YOU doing here?!" "I came to see my favorite mexican and his friends!" Andrew grinned. "I'm half-cuban, Andrew." "Details, Details." Andrew waved his hand about and walked up to the dinner table. "Oh, you're having cake?" "Yes, Andrew." Sean grumbled. "Well...NOT ANYMORE!" Andrew threw down a smoke bomb, impairing everyone's vision. "Cough...Cough...what the hell, man?!" Sean yelled. "I got it!" Rem called out, waving her hands about wildly, which because of the speed she flailed her arms, she was able to drive the smoke away quickly, revealing Andrew running out of the door with the cake in hand. There was a stunned silence. "....did he just steal the cake?!" Bryan yelled. "I...I think he did...." Sean replied. "Well then, let's chase him!" Jeff called out, running for the door. "Wait, can't I just make a new cake?" "Too easy! We have to do it the hard way!" "..." The four ran out the door and begin to chase Andrew down the street. "Haha, can you catch me?!" Andrew called out, before speeding up. "Dammit, he runs fast!" Jeff growled. "I got it!" Sean said, before taking a bicycle that was lying on the road, trying to ride it, which would have gone well except for one thing... "Oh crap, I never learned how to ride a bike!" Sean grunted, struggling with the bike. "Give it to me!" Rem called. Sean jumped off the bike and handed it to Rem. She picked it up and threw it in Andrew's direction. Andrew turned to see if they had fell behind, and saw the oncoming Bicycle. He rolled and the bicycle went harmlessly over him. He picked himself up and ran to the bike, using it to progress. "Well, that didn't pan out so well..." Bryan sighed. "Wait, how is the cake still intact from that?" Sean asked. "Don't question it!" Jeff answered. "Just keep going!" The four kept running, but Andrew was losing them fast. Bryan loooked around a bit and found a rather large rock up ahead. he kicked it up into the air, grabbed it, and then threw it. "SEAN!" He called out. Sean turned around and caught the rock. He then threw it at the spokes of the wheels on Andrew's bike, causing Andrew to lose control and fall. Surprisingly, the cake is STILL intact. Sean ran up to Andrew. "Give up the cake!" he yelled. Andrew quickly grabbed the bike and smacked Sean in the head with it, knocking him over. Andrew picked himself up and continued running. "Ow...." Sean groaned, slowly bringing himself back up to his feet. Everyone else had already left him behind. "Hey! WAIT UP!" Sean gave chase. Eventually, all of them arrived at the Train Station. Andrew was already boarding a Train. "Damnit!" Jeff yelled. "I didn't bring my wallet!" "Neither did I!" Bryan sighed "I don't have any money either!" said Rem. "HOLD ON! I GOT IT!" Sean caught up, wallet in hand. He quickly paid for the tickets and the four followed Andrew on the Train. Andrew was standing at the end of the car, as the four surrounded him. "It's OVER, Andrew!" Sean yelled. "Not quite, Hanger Head!" Andrew reached in his pocket and took out a metal device. A long beam of green energy came out. A Lightsaber! "Oh, so that's how you want it, eh?" Sean took out his lightsaber, and ignited it. The two entered a fighting stance. "WHOA WHOA WHOA!" Bryan ran in the middle. "HOLD IT!" "...what is it?" Andrew sighed. "Where the hell did you both get lightsabers?" "Plot Device." Sean replied. "Now move." Bryan sighed and moved away, and the two began their epic lightsaber battle. "Dude, this is AWESOME!" Jeff exclaimed, taking out a box of popcorn and munching on it. "WILL YOU STOP EATING?!" Bryan grabbed the box away from Jeff. "Aww...I'm sad in a train." Sean swung horizontally towards Andrew, who leaned back under the swing, and then went for a downwards slash in reply. Sean brought his blad horizontally and above him to block the swing, and then kicked Andrew in the gut. "Ow!" Andrew groaned. "That hurt!" "This'll hurt worse!" Sean went for a stab at Andrew, who sidestepped and went for a horizontal swing. Sean brought his blade to block. Sean jumped back and then ran at Andrew. Both swung at each other, their blades meeting. Both sides tried to out-power the other, but they were eternally locked in combat, it seemed. "Heh heh heh....nice job, Sean." Andrew chucked. "What's so funny?" Sean smirked. "I'm going to take you down...." "Not a chance!" Andrew took one hand of the blade and held it to Sean. Lightning came out of his hand, striking Sean. "AAAAAARGH!" Sean screamed. "WHAT?! HOW THE HELL IS HE USING SITH LIGHTNING?!" Bryan exclaimed. "ANOTHER PLOT DEVICE!" Andrew screamed, throwing Sean into Jeff, Bryan, and Rem. Sean was unconcious, possibly dead, and the rest were knocked over. Rem jumped up. "Now it's my turn, Uncle Possum!" "...what?" Andrew asked. Rem took out her own lightsaber, a double-edged one. "...oh, crap." Andrew gulped. He looked up at the train-door. "Oh look, it's my stop!" The train-door opened and Andrew was about to run out, but Bryan jumped in front of the door and force pushed Andrew into Rem, causing Andrew to get impaled on Rem's lightsaber. Andrew's body suddenly went limp, as if he were dead. "...OH MY GOD, WE KILLED HIM!" Bryan exclaimed. "DUDE!" Jeff yelled, mouth agape "...Nice work!" Suddenly, another Andrew was seen running out of the Train Station. "...Oh bugger it all, it was a clone!" Bryan yelled. "CHASE HIM!" Sean picked himself up, somehow still perfectly fine despite electrocution, and the four continued their chase. Andrew turned to see the four catching up "Oh damn it, will they ever leave me alone? At least I'm home!" Andrew ran, just about at his house. he put the key in the lock, opened the door, ran in and relocked the door. The four made it in the nick of too-late. "Crap!" Jeff kicked the door "It's locked." Sean sighed, ignited his lightsaber, and cut the door open. The four entered. "Follow me, I know where his room is!" Bryan led the way to Andrew's room, finding it empty. "....uh?" Bryan uttered, confused. "Where is he?!" "Hey guys." Andrew walked in. "ANDREW!" Sean turned, pointing the lightsaber at him. "Where's the cake!" "Oh yeeaaaah...the cake." Andrew chuckled. "You see...I ate it." The four just stared in shock, anger, and sadness. "You...ate the cake?" They said simultaneously. "Yeah, I was hungry." Andrew shrugged. "So...we chased you...for NOTHING?!" Sean yelled, throwing his hands in the air. "No, not for nothing! You see, I had cameras about recording you. I have awesome footage for a podcast now!" Andrew smiled. There was even more stunned silence. "Screw this. Let's go home, guys." Sean sighed, and the four left. Andrew stood there for a second, before shrugging and going to his computer "Hm..wonder what's on the news...." EPISODE OVER: PRESS R TO RESTART.



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