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| Root plays Capcom's Epic Adventure!; AKA Zelda: Oracle of Ages | |
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| Topic Started: Apr 7 2009, 10:20 PM (228 Views) | |
| Root | Apr 7 2009, 10:20 PM Post #1 |
The Speaker for the Dead
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Greetings, one and all! Since it was everybody else's idea to start LPs of epic games, I thought the wheel o' luck spun again in my favor. Long story short, I decided to jump into my first LP of The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages. While not the most conventional game to screen-cap due to its constant-action movement, I decided to do it anyway. You'll have to deal with it. Yes, I'm quite aware that Seasons is really the first "installment" of the Oracle games but you can quite politely go shove it if you're going to be that much of a fanboy/girl about it. That all being said, please enjoy Oracle of Ages...which will be in the next post. |
Does being the only sane one make me the insane one, in a sort of way? Though my eyes could see, I was still a blind man; Though my mind could think, I still was a madman... "Yes there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run...there's still time to change the road you're on" | |
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| Root | Apr 7 2009, 11:10 PM Post #2 |
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The Speaker for the Dead
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 The intro screen featuring Nintendo and Capcom who, for all we know, own our souls by now.  Because I'm a lazy ponce, we're going to skip right into the beginning cutscene! Featuring Link in a hallway!  Hey look! It's the Triforce (again), split into pieces (again!)  OH MY GOD WHAT THE CRAP IS HAPPENING HERE?!  Quest? You abduct me so I can do a flarking QUEST for you? NO! Up yours!  Annnnnd here's the real intro! Zelda! Oracle of Ages! I like exclaimation marks!  I named myself Look. Link and Root, put them together and you get Look!  HOLY CRAP! Stop doing that creepy swirly effect! I'm going to have a seizure!  Whew...I'm...I'm alive! And no more swirls! Well...this is rather mundane. Just a little box...only one way to go! (Continued later; I can't do any more tonight for various reasons) Edited by Root, Apr 7 2009, 11:13 PM.
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Does being the only sane one make me the insane one, in a sort of way? Though my eyes could see, I was still a blind man; Though my mind could think, I still was a madman... "Yes there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run...there's still time to change the road you're on" | |
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| Jeff | Apr 8 2009, 08:46 AM Post #3 |
Lord of Pie & BBWs
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Nice, dude! Great stuff thus far, and I look forward to more - especially as this is a game I only got to play briefly before now. Wewt. |
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Come visit me and my thought processes at my website: http://www.publishedauthors.net/tdotdw/news.html "In the cold light, justice and morality always look corny and you can't wave the flag and look cool. But like it or not, society needs its heroes." - John Hart; actor who played The Lone Ranger. | |
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| Root | Apr 8 2009, 11:29 AM Post #4 |
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The Speaker for the Dead
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As we were... Moving the only way we can - north - we run into a scream for help! That's right, we haven't been in this world for more than ten seconds and people are already screaming for our help.  I walk in to see a bunch of small little ducks (they're supposed to be called Octoroks, but I call them DUCKS) attacking a blue woman. They flee as soon as I get close.  Lady: That was frightening! They were quacking at me! Telling me to feed them BEEF BURGERS! THE HORRORS! Look: O..kay Impa: I'm Impa by the way, Princess Zelda's nurse, and one of the only reoccuring characters of this series! I'm looking for a singer named Nayru!  Lul. She basically goes on to say how she'll feel safer with me nearby. That's awesome, she'll feel safer nearby someone without a weapon.  So we walk up north (because it's the only way we can go, thanks for forced-linear paths!)  Impa: That giant rock! I know that from some place. Look: Well gee, seeing as how everything in this game is about triangles in some way, shape, or form, how can I say I'm not surprised! Why don't they just call this game 'Adventures of Trigonometry'?  Look: You'll just sit here and be useless? Impa: Dur....uuuuuur... Look: Whatever, I'll move the damn rock.  Moving up north yet AGAIN, look who we find! Nayru, and bunch of talking animals. Yippy-skippy, Ididn't know we were in "Alice in Wonderland: The Videogame"  And after you piss off enough of the animals (most notably this stoned squirrel, who says 'How Charming...') you get the squrriel to move and this happens:  ONE OF THE FEW CUTSCENES OF THE GAME! YAY!  Ralph: RIGHT?! RIGHT?! I KNOW I'M RIGHT I HAVE TO BE RIGHT! Look: Woah, calm down there Sparky. Nayru: Hmm, that one town from Oracle of Seasons has been cast over in darkness? I certainly hope that doesn't happen here! Look: Annnnnd you probably just invoked Murphy's Law.  Ralph: ... and we probably won't need you Look. (He ACTUALLY says this) Look: Well up yours too, Nayru-fanboi.  Nayru: I feel something evil is approaching... Ralph: I'll protect you Nayru! I swear, I will! Look: And I'm probably going to have to clean up whatever mess this is...  Everybody turns towards Impa now, as she's been wordless this ENTIRE time.  Woo! She's evil now!  Oh, wait a sec...she's not blue either. The entire SCREEN IS! NOOOO! THE SCREEN IS BLUE, THE SCREEN IS BLUUUUUE!  Then this lady appears. Kind of looks like a giant blue leprechaun.  Long story short: Leprechaun Lady: You let me through to this sacred place by moving the sacred triangle-rock for me! I'm so evil I can't help it! The best part is, this entire fiasco is now all your fault! Look: ... right...and you are..?  Veran: I'm Sorceress of Shadows! Which is TOTALLY not a generic title! Look: You deserve to die for that. Veran: Psh! You can't do anything to me, you don't even have a weapon yet! Hah hah! Look: You're right. So I'm going to sit here and be the useless mute that I am! Veran: You're no fun   Veran: I'm going to steal your body so I can have all your powers! Look: Why, because yours suck? Veran: YOU'RE A BIG MEANIE!  Veran/Nayru: I AM EVIL NOW BECAUSE I CAN PUT MY HANDS UP IN THE AIR, AND BECAUSE I'M BLUE. Look: ♫ You're blue, if you were green you would die, if you were green you would diiiiie ♫ Veran/Nayru: Shut up! I hate that song! Look: But I love it   Nayru: An age of DARKNESS! It's so generic and mundane that the world will crumble to its genericness! And with that, she goes through the portal to mess with Time...as you will see by the following cut-scenes.  Now, this is Mr. and Mrs. Bradshaw of Lynna City.  This is Mr. Bradshaw being smitten by Time-Lightning and being turned into an old, crazy man. Mrs. Bradshaw becomes overcome with "emotion" and flees.  Hey look! Monkeys!  Hey look! The monkeys are disappearing! Apparently Veran doesn't like monkeys very much if she's killing them off in the past.  Little boy running across the screen in his Grandma's house for no apparent reason!  Annnnd now he's frozen! Anyway, back to more important things.  Ralph: I've known Nayru since she was little, and I've always been protecting her. But now this has happened and I wasn't any help Look: Boy, you might be legally retarded.  Okay, now that the screen isn't blue and everybody isn't emo, let's see what happened to Impa. Well, apparently I saved her for the second time.  She gives me my sword back (which is a LOT more than what we could say for Link's Awakening - my sword was left to rust on a ****ing beach)  Pretty much, if you remember the area where I first started (after the swirly-seizure screen) the city is right next to there. Now that I have a sword, I can cut the bushes to get into the city. I decided to stop by ring place.  Vasu: Hello! Do Come in! My name isa  Vasu: I likea you, do you likea me? Look: Not really! But if you're going to give me free stuff, okay! Vasu gives me a free seed-ring and a ring-box to keep my rings in. He goes into this LONG monologue about rings that I don't care to repeat, so I'll give you the condensed version: Rings give certain power-ups, some really useful, others really stupid. You get new rings by getting "seed rings" which are found everywhere. You get them appraised, you keep a list of your rings with Vasu and carry the ones that you might use in a ring box. You can only wear one ring at a time. There. Easy.  After leaving the creepy-Jeweler's shop, we're almost the Maku Tree! Guy: The Maku Tree is just beyond this gate! Look: Huzzah! Guy: But unfortunately you're going to have to take the long way around because the gate is shut and never opens Look: FML.  So we enter the cave, so called "Maku Road" with some catchy (not really) elevator music. Screw you Capcom, just open the bleeding gate.  "And on your left, you will see a poorly-made gate and a sign telling you of 'Danger!!!' "  Finally you get to see the Maku Tree which is...a very effeminate tree....a very effeminate, glowing tree. Tree: I FEEL SICK AND I'M VANISHING HELP MEEE *poof*  Which means, naturally, I need to go fix this!  Going off screen again, who do we find but Nayru's one and only fanboi! Ralph: The Maku Tree is gone?! Look: Of course she's gone you magnificent twit, YOU JUST PASSED BY! Ralph: ! I need to talk to the MakuTree! We need to save her becauseIneedtosaveNAYRUUUUUU! *leaps into the portal* Look: I kind of hope this is a time portal that's going to kill us so we don't have to see anymore of him.  Look: Yup...I can see this totally killing me.  Look: Welp, I'm still alive. At least that sound effect was cool.  Other Guy: What the crap?! What's with people appearing from thin air! First that guy with the weird hat, now you! With another weird hat! Ahhh *runs* Look: Why is everybody in this game special?  Well apparently Lynna village is down this way! (You'll notice Capcom gives you some grace - most places have respective places in the past and future, they're not in some completely arbitrary direction)  This guy is creepy, the next line is "I wish I could join them". Socially awkward, much?  After you make your way through the small "village" (that's a bleeding lie, it's a pretty damn BIG village), you arrive at the "black tower". Apparently the Queen of this village ordered it to be built to usher home a lost loved one, or some crap like that. Who cares? Certainly not me. More importantly time seems to have "stopped" (see that reference there? Ah ha?) so that the tower keeps getting built, but the workers never leave.  So we enter the Black Tower, to see a bunch of mindless slaves digging! Or hammering! Or whatever.  More slaves...  I talk to one of the foremen, and I just steal a shovel from him, dig my way out (which is like, moving two dirt chunks. These guys really are emo, they're not doing any work, bunch of sissies) and leave.  I dig out the Piece of Heart I saw earlier (if you don't know, four of these gets you a new heart container)  I make my way up to the old Maku Gate and through Maku Path yet AGAIN.  No nice signs to alert me of the danger of the hole! Whatever shall I do!?  Endlessly complex puzzles! The horrors!  And hideous beasts from the depths of Hell itself!  And even worse still! WALKING UPON A STRAIGHT PATH!  I get a key from stepping on a button!  I use the key to open the ONLY door with a keyhole in it...and...  Get another stupid puzzle! Which, once again, Capcom makes mind-bogglingly stupid.  Slightly more horrifying monsters! And a Piece of Heart, which I took whole-heartedly.  A symmetrical room with candles? It MUST be important!  Look: THE LIGHT! FREEEDOM! Moblins: Bwee! This is the guy Veran was talking about! Nudge the sappling harder!  Look: Aren't you guys going to,you know. attack me? Moblins: He's speaking to us! Now we're really mad!  Look: Oh no. They're moving now. Whatever shall I do. ...They're not even moving TOWARDS me  After quickly disposing of them..the tree begins talking to me about how awesome I was killing two bullys that would pick on a tree, that have the intelligence of a rock. Being complimented in this way is almost like an insult.  ..................... Did...that tree just say it's going to MARRY ME? NO! NO DO NOT WANT. Look: Uhh...no. I'd rather not! Tree: I'll be waiting! <3 Look: *gets out of there quickly*  After using the portal off to the side of the screen again, we talk to the giant, feminine tree again. Who apparently remembers who I am after 400 years. Tree: H-huh? You're...back! After 400 years, I knew you'd come! Look: Oh please, don't start. Tree: I waited for so long, Look! Nothing could ever break apart our love! Look: What are you on about? Tree: 'When I grow up, I'll marry you' That's what you said, Look! Look: As I recall...that's what YOU said. Tree: Me? Hee-hee! You're so funny Look! Look: FML...can we please just talk about what I need to do to save the world this time?  Apparently I hurt her feelings. This is one case where I just don't bloody care. Pretty much she goes on about the Eight Essences of Time *But really, like in the last game, you can't get into the final area without them. In Seasons, if you didn't have the eight essences of nature, you would be sent back trying to explore a part of Tarm Ruins, or whatever. This occurs in some places throughout the game, including the Sea of No Return.  Tree: Go to Yoll Graveyard in the East, I hear an Essence there! Look: How does one "hear"...nevermind. Off I go!  She gives you a seed satchel with 20 ember seeds in it before you go. They're pretty useful for lighting candles to see, burning small sapplings that obstruct paths, etc. And now we're off to the graveyard! More later. |
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Does being the only sane one make me the insane one, in a sort of way? Though my eyes could see, I was still a blind man; Though my mind could think, I still was a madman... "Yes there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run...there's still time to change the road you're on" | |
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| Sean | Apr 8 2009, 11:38 AM Post #5 |
The ⑥of Four Against Nature
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Hah, nice stuff. I see I'm not the only one who switches the default placement for the sword. |
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| Rem | Apr 8 2009, 04:44 PM Post #6 |
Why yes, I do like snickerdoodles.
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Look is creepy looking. But I say that about all Link's. I like it so far, especially the beginning. Also: How does a seed put things on fire? |
 Have you ever wondered what color air is? | |
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| Jeff | Apr 8 2009, 06:14 PM Post #7 |
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Lord of Pie & BBWs
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Awesome stuff! Wait, you're engaged to a tree now? Wonder if she's related to the Mana Clan... Great stuff, and I, too, used "A" as my sword button on the GBC games. I look forward to moar. |
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Come visit me and my thought processes at my website: http://www.publishedauthors.net/tdotdw/news.html "In the cold light, justice and morality always look corny and you can't wave the flag and look cool. But like it or not, society needs its heroes." - John Hart; actor who played The Lone Ranger. | |
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| Root | Apr 16 2009, 09:31 PM Post #8 |
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The Speaker for the Dead
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Okay, I'm back after a small leave of absence due to an FBLA State Conference. You may be happy (or sad) to know that I did not place, and will not be going to Anaheim this year. (It was kind of expensive anyway, might not have been able to go anyway). Those damn technical schools cheating by incorporating the club into their classes! I mean... Zelda! So here goes.  If you remember that little alcove you saw when you had the blue lady following you, it was right next to the Big Tree Lady, in the Present. She gives you the Ember Seeds and the VERY next screen down has a sapling you can burn with your Ember Seeds. It contains 30 rupees, as you can see. Which means...  This can happen! I can buy a shield, which conveniently is 30 rupees!  So we get out of Lynna "City" and we're off to go to one of the only places available to us now. Which involves us burning trees. Die, spawns of the tree lady.  So wandering through a purple (queen?) graveyard as if nothing is wrong. Oh, and there'a ghost over there. Sup ghost?  So you walk into this scene next and these three asian-looking kids are like this: Kid 1: No way! It's too scary! Kid 2: Pfft! Is not! Kid 3: I like pie Kid 2: Shut up, no one cares about your pie. Kid 1: And it might come out .... Kid 1 : .... the ghost. *Every one of them stop twitching and run away. They don't even notice you*  So we walk down over the little bridge and come to a row of graves. Ooh. Spooky! *sigh* Capcom fails at horror, and puzzles too. Two saplings, GEE, I WONDER WHAT I MUST DO?  If you're  And now we start Level 1!  I decide to go left first, and run into a room with a bunch of pots. I always thought they looked like miniature Mario-Bros esque pipes (it wouldn't be the first time Nintendo put allusions in their games). If you can't get what power-up you get in this dungeon, I think you're hopeless.  I instead go north, and am faced with these mother-****ing puzzles. This ONE isn't bad - just push the block up until it falls on the black square and the door(s) will open. Other ones you gotta like twist the thing all around to get it on the right color.  Following nicely along here and for some reason going out of order, you'll evenually hit a room with a block in the center. Push it up and you can go left, right, and back (where you came from, naturally). To the left you'll find the Compass. Yadda yadda, compass will make piss-annoying noises if a key is in the room and points to treasure chests.  Use an ember seed on the little gray part of the wall, next to the compass chest and you'll enter this room. Press the button, you'll get a seed ring you can appraise later.  Go back out, and push the block. Go up, should get a key.  There's a map, if you didn't figure this out right in this room...I kinda missed it before because I just do things out of order (and I took these pictures like a week ago, and couldn't update due to unforeseen circumstances)  Moving up some more and following this beautiful "maze" of hallways, you'll eventually hit this room. Unfortunately you don't have the boss key and these master-hand things are PISS ANNOYING IN THAT THEY'LL TAKE YOU BACK TO THE BEGINNING OF THE DUNGEON. Luckily, this didn't happen to me   Moving back down a few rooms and you're going to hit THIS. Which is a mini-boss.  OH GOD GET IT AWAY. ... Okay it's not that bad. Just hit it a whole lot.  After you kill emo-ghost thing, you'll walk out into another room which will have two pots next to a treasure chest. Think you got the Power Bracelet? WRONG. Gasha Seed. Prepare to be disappointed in this game a LOT.  Continue this trek, you'll eventually come to a strange kind of moving-platform obstacle. It's easy, just don't fall and you'll get a key.  This dungeon is really easy in the sense of the puzzles are not very challenging and it's pretty straight-foward where you have to go. Get a key? There's a locked door right next to it. You'll get to this room soon enough. Light the candles and a staircase will appear.  Annnnnd they can't even put the damn thing in a chest. It's in a cave. De-pressing.  Coming out of the room with the staircase, don't forget to move the pots now to get the ring.  Look familiar? Throw the pots out of the way, get the Nightmare / Boss key (whatever they call it these days). You know where to go now.  And we're fighting the Pumpkin Rapist. ... Damn Capcom...just damn.  Hit the body enough and the head will fall to the ground. Pick it up (you almost ALWAYS use whatever item you find in the dungeon against the boss) and throw it somewhere far away. Then hit whatever-the-hell-that-is until it dies. This boss is actually kind of annoying because if you hit him, he will keep moving towards you, and probably into you, doing damage. At this point in the game, you don't have a lot of health, so be careful. Win and get...  Four hearts now!  You get some sort of Essence of Time, blah blah blah, yadda yadda you've heard the whole sha-bang.  I'm being attacked by leaves now...this is how the Creepy Female Tree thing talks to you. God I wish it would just shut up.  Oh, here's Maple by the way. She's the witch's apprentice who flies around from time to time. If you run into her (literally) she'll drop a bunch of stuff (usually rupees, seeds, etc but sometimes can drop a magic potion, gasha seeds, and rings) and you'll race her to pick up the most stuff. Whatever you pick up you keep.  Move over a screen and talk to the ghost guy. He'll ask you move his gravestone and he'll walk in. Talk to him inside and he'll walk out. Talk to him yet again and receive...   Take the long way across the river, plant a gasha seed in the soil, and you're off to the Lost Woods on the other side of Lynna City. Too bad, I'm not screen-capping me walking.  Ah! But first, don't forget about the Piece of Heart beneath the Gasha Soil.  Go East out of Lynna City. You'll find some  Fairies. G'damn it, you thought you were done with them when you played Ocarina of Time? NOPE.  They make you play hide and seek with them, which is far too annoying to screen cap. Pretty much no matter which direction you go the screen will be different, so you need to find the order in which they go to find the hiding spots. It's a pain.  Win, the forest goes back in order and you can go to the next level! It's right there! But what's this? An ancient cave, that will crumble easily?! Psh! We don't need to worry about that! Let's just move this innocent looking rock!  It FELL! I totally did NOT SEE THIS COMING!  Cue the talking tree to tell us to break into Naryu's House and search it for "some item that will help". I swear to God, Capcom...you pull another Apollo Justice and your heads will ROLL. And I think that's enough for now, I need to start up some more. Hope you guys all enjoyed. |
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Does being the only sane one make me the insane one, in a sort of way? Though my eyes could see, I was still a blind man; Though my mind could think, I still was a madman... "Yes there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run...there's still time to change the road you're on" | |
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| Jeff | Apr 16 2009, 09:38 PM Post #9 |
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Lord of Pie & BBWs
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Ha-ha! Awesome stuff, dude. Well worth the wait and I look forward to more epic awesomeness. |
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Come visit me and my thought processes at my website: http://www.publishedauthors.net/tdotdw/news.html "In the cold light, justice and morality always look corny and you can't wave the flag and look cool. But like it or not, society needs its heroes." - John Hart; actor who played The Lone Ranger. | |
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| Sean | Apr 18 2009, 09:03 PM Post #10 |
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The ⑥of Four Against Nature
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Ah yes, I remember the item trading quest in Ages being far more stupid than the one in Seasons. .... ...Fucking minecarts. Bryan, I think you know what I'm talking about. |
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