Jeff Chronicles Freaky Creatures Beta

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Jeff Chronicles Freaky Creatures Beta
Topic Started: Feb 6 2009, 03:43 PM (40 Views)
Jeff	Feb 6 2009, 03:43 PM Post #1
Lord of Pie & BBWs Posts: 1,390 Group: Four Against Nature Member #3 Joined: Jul 6, 2008 Quote You are but the strongest KNIGHT! You should be able to ROCK ME!	Whilst absent-mindedly browsing TVtropes (something that happens a lot with me) I noticed a banner for an on-line game about raising and fighting monsters. I totally dig things like that, so I figured it was worth looking into. Turns out, it's a beta of a game from some software company I'd never heard of - Abandon Interactive. I signed up on the "Freaky Creatures" website and browsed around only to find the titular creatures are anything but. They all share essentially the same body type (humanoid) and are the same stock things you could find in any fantasy-oriented RPG game - humanoid plant, cyclops, femme-fatale demoness, mermaid, humanoid bird, et al. Also, these creatures stem from one-terrain planets (because we all know Earth is the only planet to have unique biomes, right?) owned by large, evil, faceless companies that make the native inhabitants kill each other for profit and entertainment. Well, profit at least, if the beta is any indication. The very next day after signing up, I was given a beta passcode, allowing me access to the game proper. This tells me they either don't care who plays the beta or that they're just in dire need of beta testers. Either way, I was set. The game is in the neighborhood of 700 MB in BETA PHASE ALONE and the graphics requirement made my bedroom compy cry, so I was forced to take it to my gaming computer where I have Portal and Spore. Unfortunately, even then the download/install time took the better part of a half an hour and even after I got it all going my graphics card began running a fever almost as soon as it begun. I say "almost" because the first five minutes was cluttered with "Cover Your Ass"-style agreements and unlike most games where you can just mash "Agree" and not attempt to rape and/or murder the source code and all will be well, you must scroll ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE BOTTOM to click "Agree" and be done with it. Well, finally, I got the beta to begin. You start by picking a monster breed to start with (currently only two monsters are readily available - the cyclops and the demoness. This was disappointing as the creature I really wanted to raise was the mermaid one, so I swallowed my pride and took the next best thing). You get to color and outfit your critter with stuff that'll more than likely make your graphics card and processor bleed. Speaking of which before you even DO any of that, go to "Options" and turn bloom off. You'll thank me if you value your eye sight. Anyways, once you min/max your creature as you see fit with equipment and powers you're then prompted to name the beastie and begin the game proper. I might as well mention here that you can make the creature by-hand yourself as I did, or allow the game to for you. Anyways, my demoness ended up blue, heavily-armed and named "Janne" after a beloved creature from Monster Rancher 2. FINALLY I got to 'play' the game. Your options include: making/going to a lair for your creature and you to play around in. As of now, this is pointless as there's no loyalty/bonding system and every time you leave and return, the Hunger/Happiness/Energy gauges will be topped off anyways. This whole experience also came off as mentally scarring, as I was attempting the different interactive options (petting, tickling, disciplining, etc). This was sort of a touch-and-go process as I had to figure out WHERE to click in order to interact with Janne. I found the hit box was basically her torso so while petting her the hand icon decided to mentally scar me by making less-than-child-friendly movements as Janne moaned in approval. I... will never be the same again. Alternatively, you can try to go online. The first time you do, you'll be prompted to take a tutorial battle where the game explains that your creature fights Medabot-style and can use its head, arms, body or tail to attack. You then go back and forth whacking at each other until you or your opponent dies. Afterwards, I attempted the quick game option, which should have allowed me to just leap into fights but no one seemed to be on-line and there was a conspicuous lack of any AI opponents in sight. Figuring I'd had quite enough mental trauma for one day, I took a break before trying the Join Game/Create Game features - which I'll save for next time. Thus far, the monster creation process seems intuitive and has a lot of potential, I guess and the battle system is pretty standard stuff with a unique flavor. The problem stems from the fact that the moment it goes out of beta, you'll be paying for it, obviously, but this is the type of game you're supposed to download, pay for to validate and play on-line MMO-style. The problem is that there's just nothing here that hasn't been done before and done better. The creation system could be just as easily replicated via Monster Rancher's CD/DVD/Tablet systems or Medabot's part-config system. The battle system is just Pokemon with one or two little add-ons taken straight from the same fabric as Monster Rancher. The designs are the same uninspired stock characters as every installment of every Square game ever. Frankly, just let me trudge through the rest of the game in a day or two rather than waste your own time. I can't recommend the game in all good sense. If you want to play a game in every way superior to this, I'd point specifically to Monster Rancher 4 for the PS2. Thank you all, and good day. When I try the Join/Create Game features, I'll conclude my first-look into Freaky Creatures.
	Come visit me and my thought processes at my website: http://www.publishedauthors.net/tdotdw/news.html "In the cold light, justice and morality always look corny and you can't wave the flag and look cool. But like it or not, society needs its heroes." - John Hart; actor who played The Lone Ranger.


Rem	Feb 6 2009, 03:47 PM Post #2
Why yes, I do like snickerdoodles. Posts: 218 Group: Four Against Nature Member #4 Joined: Jul 6, 2008	Pics or it didn't happen.
	Have you ever wondered what color air is?


Jeff	Mar 2 2009, 08:04 PM Post #3
Lord of Pie & BBWs Posts: 1,390 Group: Four Against Nature Member #3 Joined: Jul 6, 2008 Quote You are but the strongest KNIGHT! You should be able to ROCK ME!	Okay, all desire to even give a rip about this game is GONE. Completely. Utterly. Let me give you the short version: I haven't bothered with Join/Create Game. I have no desire to. Since the only part of the game I've seen thus far that was even remotely interesting was the ahem "Battle" section and that was all-in-all stale and uninteresting, I have no real inclination to consider doing it more. The graphics make my processor cry on my BEST computer. It won't even run on my bedroom compy. The music is dull and uninspired. The gameplay is "Click Body Part Hope for the Best"-battle or "Molest the demoness"-Tamogotchi-esque time waster which I'll be seeing a psychologist about, no doubt. Nothing about the game hasn't been done before and done better at the same time. The creatures are ripped unaltered from public domain or Lovecraftian mythos or just plain lame (a humanoid Venus flytrap? No, seriously, guys?). The battle system is better done in Pokemon or Monster Rancher, the customization COMPLETELY DEFEATS THE POINT OF THE MONSTERS' BASE STATS and was better done in Medabots and the RPG elements feel tacked-on as if it was all an afterthought. The "powers" and skills seem invariably pointless except to accentuate strengths or to counter very specific attacks. The game is bad. Unambiguously bad. It's not the type of bad where playing it will make you chuckle at how bad it is. No. It's so bad that playing it makes you want to murder bunnies and puppies. It's THAT bad. Avoid this rubbish at all costs.
	Come visit me and my thought processes at my website: http://www.publishedauthors.net/tdotdw/news.html "In the cold light, justice and morality always look corny and you can't wave the flag and look cool. But like it or not, society needs its heroes." - John Hart; actor who played The Lone Ranger.


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