Viewing Single Post From: Jeff's Bad Movie Commentary!

Viewing Single Post From: Jeff's Bad Movie Commentary!
Jeff	Aug 17 2008, 08:02 PM
Lord of Pie & BBWs Posts: 1,385 Group: Four Against Nature Member #3 Joined: Jul 6, 2008 Quote You are but the strongest KNIGHT! You should be able to ROCK ME!	BlackDjeffgo: Well, the next movie lined up is The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Got Tired of Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies. The mighty SFX: .... The mighty SFX: What BlackDjeffgo: I only wish I was kidding BlackDjeffgo: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4292880008988684193&ei= Ba2oSLahC4qS4wLP05zPBw&hl=en The mighty SFX: Give me a sec and we'll get started BlackDjeffgo: Let is load for a moment before we begin anyways and we'll be good to go. This is one solid vid, as opposed to 12 parts or some such BlackDjeffgo: The next movie in line after this one is going to be "Fire Maidens from Outer Space" The mighty SFX: .... BlackDjeffgo: I wish I could make crap like this up BlackDjeffgo: I also plan to re-watch Plan 9 and Manos BlackDjeffgo: and Cog said he wanted to dialogue over Santa Claus Conquers the Martians BlackDjeffgo: So, suffice to say, I have quite a crapfest ahead. The mighty SFX: ...yay The mighty SFX: After the movie we can RP if you don't feel like doing more Fiesta-ing BlackDjeffgo: A'ight. We'll see when we get there. The mighty SFX: Okay BlackDjeffgo: And special thanks to TVtropes.org for helping me find "Incredibly Strange Creatures with the obscenely long title" and Fire Maidens. The mighty SFX: Let me feed the dogs and whatnot BlackDjeffgo: I mean, seriously, the bloody titles say it all. The mighty SFX: so I don't have to take a break unless...y'know, Nuclear War breaks out BlackDjeffgo: Yeah The mighty SFX: k The mighty SFX: Sorry The mighty SFX: I'm back now BlackDjeffgo: Not a problem. Are we ready? The mighty SFX: yes BlackDjeffgo: So! let the episode begin... in 3 BlackDjeffgo: 2 BlackDjeffgo: 1 BlackDjeffgo: GOOOO! BlackDjeffgo: Ahh, Mike's up again this time 'round The mighty SFX: Hm. BlackDjeffgo: I think DDR-attack said Joel was his favorite BlackDjeffgo: but I like 'em both shrug The mighty SFX: That's a pretty good torture method. Crappy Movies. BlackDjeffgo: Yeah. People ask me all the time why I do these. BlackDjeffgo: CROOOOOOOOOOOW! The mighty SFX: The same reason we do Mystery Fanfiction Theat--oh wait, that's 12 years in the future. FORGET I SAID ANYTHING BlackDjeffgo: Lampshade Hung'd BlackDjeffgo: The satellite of love looks like a dogbone The mighty SFX: Walkathok.... BlackDjeffgo: That's one heck of a long acronym The mighty SFX: ....Seriously BlackDjeffgo: Like Sean Saga's Cog-Sean vs. Jeff fight... BlackDjeffgo: Uh-oh. BlackDjeffgo: Someone shut up Servo The mighty SFX: ....let's keep the inside references to a minimum The mighty SFX: Nobody knows about Sean Saga and nobody probably WANTS to BlackDjeffgo: Yeah, yeah. I should keep fanservice to a minimum... BlackDjeffgo: Anyways, Servo sure is chatty this episode The mighty SFX: Yeah.... BlackDjeffgo: Pearl has kids? BlackDjeffgo: Oh... their... the children of gods? The mighty SFX: .... BlackDjeffgo: ... BlackDjeffgo: Wow. This episode is being... odd The mighty SFX: Yeah. BlackDjeffgo: PROFESSOR BOBO: Has a red butt BlackDjeffgo: Profound The mighty SFX: ....Yeah. The mighty SFX: ...Observer? BlackDjeffgo: Yeah. They call him Brain Guy BlackDjeffgo: Oh, the incredibly long names. I get it. The mighty SFX: Yeah, I guess it's the theme BlackDjeffgo: ... The mighty SFX: .... BlackDjeffgo: Wow BlackDjeffgo: I'm SOOOO glad there's only voice feed The mighty SFX: Seriously. BlackDjeffgo: Movie time! The mighty SFX: Ah! Here we go! BlackDjeffgo: That's a LOT of doors, seriously BlackDjeffgo: If Dan were a robot, he'd be Crow BlackDjeffgo: So far, all we know is we're at... a carnival? The mighty SFX: Yeah BlackDjeffgo: Random drama and poor acting to boot The mighty SFX: ...that guy's face scares me D: BlackDjeffgo: Yeah, seriously BlackDjeffgo: Ortega is pretty strong The mighty SFX: Yes The mighty SFX: and scary looking The mighty SFX: ...and...skull juice? BlackDjeffgo: Like Crow said - do not piss off the gypsies. If they ask for secks, just do it and get it over with. There's far worse things in life. BlackDjeffgo: Like skull juice The mighty SFX: Okay, that face is totally going to give me nightmares BlackDjeffgo: I dunno. They're trying so scary to be scary that it's funny. BlackDjeffgo: I guess JoJo's Bizarre Adventure has just de-sensitized me. BlackDjeffgo: These are some damn long credits. The mighty SFX: o_O BlackDjeffgo: There we go. BlackDjeffgo: Ahh, good old-fashioned nightmare fuel! The mighty SFX: Yeah.... BlackDjeffgo: TROPE NAMER. BlackDjeffgo: Cocktails? Can anyone name ONE carnival that has a cocktail bar? The mighty SFX: ....err..... BlackDjeffgo: ... this entire scene is surprisingly non-arousing. The mighty SFX: Yeah BlackDjeffgo: I mean, yes, it's a woman in undies dancing around but I'm bored out of my mind. The mighty SFX: I think the commentary is making it more amusing than anything else BlackDjeffgo: Now they're spinning and... WILL THIS EVER END?! The mighty SFX: YOU SPIN ME RIGHT RO--Shot BlackDjeffgo: Okay, that chick's name is Larry BlackDjeffgo: If she appears again BlackDjeffgo: Larry The mighty SFX: XD BlackDjeffgo: LARRY! There s/he is BlackDjeffgo: Thank you Da--Crow The mighty SFX: Aww, it's just a pu--kitty BlackDjeffgo: It's just a cat, Larry, chill BlackDjeffgo: It's cute. BlackDjeffgo: Awwww... Pu--kitty BlackDjeffgo: Blah blah blah BlackDjeffgo: Larry is mighty boring... and now some random guys in 70's clothing... The mighty SFX: Yeah.... BlackDjeffgo: Who. He has a pompador. BlackDjeffgo: Never gonna give you up~ never gonna let you down~ The mighty SFX: it might be audio quality or my speakers but the audio is kinda sucky, which makes paying attention a pain BlackDjeffgo: I know what you mean. They're grainy, but the MST3K guys come in perfectly. BlackDjeffgo: But this is an old movie too. We'll check the copyright soon. The mighty SFX: Yeah. BlackDjeffgo: At the end, they'll have it. BlackDjeffgo: WHOA! THAT WOMAN HAS A BEEHIVE ON HER HEA-- or, that's her hair The mighty SFX: I could look it up on Wikipedia BlackDjeffgo: All the women in this movie have wispy voices... The mighty SFX: But in order to not miss a nice chunk of the movie I'd have to use the Wii right behind me...which would be slow as hell. BlackDjeffgo: We'll worry about that later. The mighty SFX: Yeah, true BlackDjeffgo: Blah, blah, blah. We're 17 minutes in and this movie is just mind-numbing. The mighty SFX: What is that guy doing? BlackDjeffgo: ... BlackDjeffgo: This movie is depressing. The men are gay and the women are men. BlackDjeffgo: Cherry? The guy's name is Cherry? The mighty SFX: Who the hell sits on their car? BlackDjeffgo: Cherry and Larry and Wispy BlackDjeffgo: C'MON WORLD! PULL MY FINGER! The mighty SFX: Yeah, what WAS with the random pointing at stuff? BlackDjeffgo: This movie has to have been filmed in New Jersey. No offense, bro, but... yeah... The mighty SFX: I thought that was just a joke BlackDjeffgo: Maybe so, but this movie does suck an awful lot BlackDjeffgo: WHAT BlackDjeffgo: THE BlackDjeffgo: HUCKING BlackDjeffgo: FELL?! The mighty SFX: ....wait, what just happened? BlackDjeffgo: A... random monkey was yelling at us to... get tickets The mighty SFX: ...oh, that BlackDjeffgo: This makes no sense BlackDjeffgo: SEE?! The guys ARE ghey! The mighty SFX: What's with the high pitched wail I keep hearing? BlackDjeffgo: No idea. BlackDjeffgo: Beehive head is just bizarre The mighty SFX: Did it just turn Black and White for a second? BlackDjeffgo: ... BlackDjeffgo: Yes The mighty SFX: ....Random scene change BlackDjeffgo: This rollercoaster is filmed kind of similarly to Cloverfield BlackDjeffgo: Back to Larry again BlackDjeffgo: Now... the black guy from Spider-Man BlackDjeffgo: Not that that's a bad thing, cuz he was awesome. BlackDjeffgo: Anyone else notice the rollercoaster cost 25 cents? BlackDjeffgo: Wait, did they say his name was "Bill Whore"? BlackDjeffgo: Back... to the random epileptic dancing The mighty SFX: And the Transvestite Cam. BlackDjeffgo: That has to be a guy BlackDjeffgo: I'm sorry, but that's either the single most masculine woman since the East German Women's wrestling team or a man in a bra The mighty SFX: Well...it LOOKS female. BlackDjeffgo: She's drunk, but she's speaking and behaving rationally The mighty SFX: ...that doesn't work The mighty SFX: unless she has some absurd alcohol tolerance, which given her dancing performance, is...incorrect BlackDjeffgo: Why are we randomly shifting from night to sunset? The mighty SFX: I don't know BlackDjeffgo: Oh, thank God, a break from this. The mighty SFX: all I know is that the transitions from place to place are random BlackDjeffgo: This makes Sidehackers looks like smooth transitions The mighty SFX: .....wow. Fortune telling BlackDjeffgo: ... The mighty SFX: ....wow BlackDjeffgo: Wow XD BlackDjeffgo: That was pretty funny The mighty SFX: Yeah BlackDjeffgo: Like something Cog and Dan would do to me. The mighty SFX: I'd probably do it too BlackDjeffgo: Some random salesman who's like... y'know, every salesman ever. BlackDjeffgo: It says "MIKE" on the wall The mighty SFX: Yeah The mighty SFX: Wait, this is the area where that guy drank the skull juice BlackDjeffgo: Shouldn't it say FRODO LIVES? Okay, I'll stop. BlackDjeffgo: And yeah, now there's some girl and the gypsy from before The mighty SFX: Hammer whack KEEP INSIDE REFERENCES TO A MINIMUM! BlackDjeffgo: @_@ BlackDjeffgo: Random fortunate telling tiem BlackDjeffgo: Wait, is that Larry? The mighty SFX: I think so BlackDjeffgo: The gods! Nintendo, Sony, Microsoft, Chuck Norris and John Wayne! The mighty SFX: Those are the gods? BlackDjeffgo: Of course BlackDjeffgo: That's the 2nd-most-easily led-astray crowd in the world BlackDjeffgo: More fortune-telling BlackDjeffgo: It really IS 50 cents. Go fig. The mighty SFX: Hm. The mighty SFX: I got my palm read once. The mighty SFX: I was told I'd have four kids The mighty SFX: Bare in mind this was in a video game so it may not count BlackDjeffgo: I tried that Taboo NES game once for giggles. BlackDjeffgo: It didn't TELL me anything. It just told me that the Chariot meant war and conquest. BlackDjeffgo: This movie is just lulzy. They're trying so hard to make it worthwhile, but all we're hitting at cliches. The mighty SFX: Question: The mighty SFX: are you paying attention to what they're saying? BlackDjeffgo: I'm trying BlackDjeffgo: But everyone is SO FUGGING WISPY it's hard as all hell... BlackDjeffgo: Dammit, I knew we should've started with Fire Maidens from Outer Space The mighty SFX: Yeah. The mighty SFX: Because that sounds HOT The mighty SFX: BWAH HAH HAH HAH BlackDjeffgo: RIDER KICK The mighty SFX: OW! The mighty SFX: SON OF A [I am a potty mouth]! BlackDjeffgo: We're 30 minutes in and we haven't seen ONE zombie. The mighty SFX: No no no The mighty SFX: You see, we're looking at them right now BlackDjeffgo: Ahh! Exactly! It makes so much sense! BlackDjeffgo: The HUMANS are the zombies because they're in such a crappy movie! BlackDjeffgo: The zombies are the sane ones! BlackDjeffgo: Carmalita? BlackDjeffgo: More like Carmalitadansen! BlackDjeffgo: Oo-oo-ooa-ooa! The mighty SFX: HAMMER WHACK BlackDjeffgo: BLARGH! The mighty SFX: CLOSE UP OF THE EYES BlackDjeffgo: UNNECESSARY ZOOM! /Wayne's World/ WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAA!!! The mighty SFX: Well, the guys apparently want to go in and stare at the girls. The mighty SFX: Maybe they aren't gay. The mighty SFX: or at least ONE of them isn't BlackDjeffgo: Hmm... BlackDjeffgo: Okay, so it's a step UP BlackDjeffgo: the only way this movie could get entertaining is is Flat-Top starting singing a RickRoll BlackDjeffgo: Crow and Servo singing "Little Dummer Boy" BlackDjeffgo: HOLY SHIT IT'S CRUELLA DE VILLE'S SISTERS!!! The mighty SFX: ..... The mighty SFX: Oh wow. The mighty SFX: I just noticed that now BlackDjeffgo: She's dancing like she belongs in Haruhi The mighty SFX: stifles a snicker BlackDjeffgo: For those of you who don't know: that one anime that's like Azumanga Daioh for people with no sense of humor and a lesbian lolita fetish. BlackDjeffgo: I'm looking at you, Cog. The mighty SFX: He's going to kill you for thart BlackDjeffgo: ... Even a wardrobe malfunction couldn't make this interesting. The mighty SFX: Maybe if the dance were more sexy...and not like...interpretive dance, it would be better. BlackDjeffgo: Maybe BlackDjeffgo: We're nearing the halfway point and we're yet to see a single zombie BlackDjeffgo: I was looking forward to some crappy zombie campiness! BlackDjeffgo: This is like Coyote Ugly, only worse because it doesn't have John Goodman. The mighty SFX: XD The mighty SFX: ....uh The mighty SFX: what time are you at? BlackDjeffgo: 41 flat The mighty SFX: okay I think I'm still in sync. It kinda froze for about 3 seconds but I was ahead of you The mighty SFX: so it's finew BlackDjeffgo: It should be close enough BlackDjeffgo: God, what is the POINT of all this singing and dancing numbers? The mighty SFX: I GET IT! The mighty SFX: There are no zombies in this movie BlackDjeffgo: Are the titular zombies supposed to be the audience after the movie is done?! The mighty SFX: They're trying to bore us to death The mighty SFX: and make US Zombies BlackDjeffgo: IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE!!! The mighty SFX: Intermission! BlackDjeffgo: The last time Mike changed his hair style was when I was -2 years old The mighty SFX: You can't be -2 years old BlackDjeffgo: It was two years prior to my birth. The mighty SFX: I get it The mighty SFX: you were trying to be funny The mighty SFX: you failed BlackDjeffgo: The nanite girl is voiced by Pearl. The mighty SFX: O_O BlackDjeffgo: It's like Jean Pierre Polnareff!!! The mighty SFX: ........Holy....crap BlackDjeffgo: Dayum BlackDjeffgo: He got a comm. satellite stuck in his hair BlackDjeffgo: Damn BlackDjeffgo: Just... damn The mighty SFX: Predicition The mighty SFX: His hair blocks half the screen BlackDjeffgo: XD BlackDjeffgo: Well, close BlackDjeffgo: Carmalitadansen! Oo-oo-ooa-ooa! Oo-oo-ooa-ooaa-oaaa!! Everyone loves the Carmalitadansen! The mighty SFX: ... BlackDjeffgo: ... BlackDjeffgo: Hey, wait BlackDjeffgo: wasn't Carmalita the name of the lesbian vampire from some old novel? BlackDjeffgo: Sadly, this isn't making it a whole lot more interesting... I mean... well, okay, but... yeah. Old hat. The mighty SFX: Well, it improved things...a little BlackDjeffgo: A little. The mighty SFX: if only she was...you know, better looking. and I could see more clearly BlackDjeffgo: Okay, we're 47 minutes in. WHERE ARE THE ZOMBIES?! The mighty SFX: IT'S A TRAP! The mighty SFX: ..... The mighty SFX: @_@ The mighty SFX: Must....kill......Jeff BlackDjeffgo: Spiral energy is the energy of human evolution! The mighty SFX: takes out knife BlackDjeffgo: WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM KIIIIIIIIIIIIICK?! The mighty SFX: STAB STAB STAB& BlackDjeffgo: OWWW. LEAVE A SMALL, CUTE BRUISE PUUUUNCH! The mighty SFX: ....o...w... The mighty SFX: Kill.....Jeff..... The mighty SFX: throw...him...into....the...pit The mighty SFX: Somehow manages to pick him up* BlackDjeffgo: NOBODY SAID "KILL JEFF", you douchebag The mighty SFX: ....what? The mighty SFX: Huh? Where am I? BlackDjeffgo: We're still watching a crappy zombie movie that seems void of zombies BlackDjeffgo: However, it does seem full of Wayne's World jokes The mighty SFX: ......something about hypnosis happened, right? The mighty SFX: that must have explained what happened to me BlackDjeffgo: So, how long has this been? Like 3 hours? The mighty SFX: 2 The mighty SFX: ...weeks BlackDjeffgo: That explains a lot. The mighty SFX: Are they even trying? BlackDjeffgo: This camera is like the stupid guy from Cloverfield's attempt at looking forward. BlackDjeffgo: IT'S FLAT-TOP! BlackDjeffgo: Never gonna give you up! Never gonna let you down! Never gonna run around and desert you! BlackDjeffgo: Okay, in all seriousness. 53 fu-nuckin' minutes and not a single damn zombie... The mighty SFX: NO BlackDjeffgo: Now she's dancing like she belongs in a Mortal Kombat game. The mighty SFX: NOT MORE STUPID DANCING BlackDjeffgo: GODWHENWILLTHISMOVIEBEOVER?! The mighty SFX: 40 more minutes? The mighty SFX: Wait, whaT? The mighty SFX: What just happened? BlackDjeffgo: Umm BlackDjeffgo: Someone died BlackDjeffgo: Thank God. The mighty SFX: .....what The mighty SFX: What the hell am I watching? BlackDjeffgo: Okay, maybe I mis-interpretted, but from what I gathered, the gypsy's sister was Carmalitadansen BlackDjeffgo: and so, she hypnotised the d00d to kill her for... some... never-adequetely-explored reason BlackDjeffgo: What the hell? BlackDjeffgo: An army of women wrestlers? MASKED wrestlers, half of 'em? The mighty SFX: ..... BlackDjeffgo: Okay, seriously, I have a theory here BlackDjeffgo: They're pulling a "Neon Genesis: Evangelion" BlackDjeffgo: They ran out of budget so they're just BS'ing some mindscrew bullshit and saying "Screw it. The people will make up their own theories." The mighty SFX: CONGRATULATIONS! Shot BlackDjeffgo: CONGRATULATIONS! The mighty SFX: If this goes on much longer I'll die The mighty SFX: of boredom BlackDjeffgo: Now all we need is a penguin to be the only likeable character in this movie. BlackDjeffgo: Wait, I get it! BlackDjeffgo: The guy who made Eva was depressed and insane... BlackDjeffgo: And then he saw THIS movie BlackDjeffgo: and so he made Eva The mighty SFX: ....I'm sorry, Jeff. It went on seven seconds longer than I could take.....dies BlackDjeffgo: God, I totally should've started with Fire Maidens from Outer Space. The mighty SFX: We'll save that for next time, I guess The mighty SFX: I mean The mighty SFX: dead BlackDjeffgo: Phoenix Down The mighty SFX: Uh. The mighty SFX: Pause the movie for a sec BlackDjeffgo: k The mighty SFX: Firefox froze up. Lovely BlackDjeffgo: It's okay, take your time The mighty SFX: Where are you right now? BlackDjeffgo: 58:22 The mighty SFX: I'll take this time to take a quick break to resupply BlackDjeffgo: A'ight The mighty SFX: I suggest you do the same if you have to BlackDjeffgo: Might as well The mighty SFX: back BlackDjeffgo: You set? The mighty SFX: Yep BlackDjeffgo: Your firefox.exe file probably committed suicide, trying to stop watching BlackDjeffgo: But we have to press on BlackDjeffgo: And we will! In 3 BlackDjeffgo: 2 BlackDjeffgo: 1 BlackDjeffgo: GO BlackDjeffgo: The engine is a lie. BlackDjeffgo: Crow's babeling like Mario and Luigi in the GBA titles The mighty SFX: Heh BlackDjeffgo: Okay, this movie has like 25 minutes or so before the MST3K guys wrap it up. WHERE. ARE. THE. ZOMBIES?! The mighty SFX: They're going to show up in the last 15 minutes BlackDjeffgo: She's the penguin? BlackDjeffgo: ... BlackDjeffgo: THE IRONY! BlackDjeffgo: PHASER SHOTS. The mighty SFX: Hmm.... The mighty SFX: .... BlackDjeffgo: Wh-wha? The mighty SFX: RANDOM SCENE SHIFT BlackDjeffgo: It just... it cut away like someone just recorded over it The mighty SFX: They probably did. The mighty SFX: ANOTHER ZOMBIE THEORY The mighty SFX: THIS IS A HOME MOVIE MADE BY A ZOMBIE BlackDjeffgo: IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE!!! The mighty SFX: Except not, but meh. BlackDjeffgo: Nightclub? It was in a CARNIVAL. The mighty SFX: The Nightclub was part of the Carnival The mighty SFX: The Carnival is for the kids, and the Nightclub is for the adults! The mighty SFX: Or something BlackDjeffgo: MORE RANDOM SCENE CHANGES!!! BlackDjeffgo: This movie either inspired or was inspired by SideHackers BlackDjeffgo: NOOOOOOO!!! NOT MORE DANCE NUMBERS!!! BlackDjeffgo: If you play this song backwards, it says "Paul is dead"... BlackDjeffgo: SHE'S DOING THE DAN-JO DANCE! BlackDjeffgo: Dan-jo-dan-jo-dan-dan-jo! Ree ree! Dan-jo-dan-jo-dan-dan-jo! Ree ree! The mighty SFX: ....No comment BlackDjeffgo: Let's see how many more obscure internet references I can make in the remaining 25 minutes. The mighty SFX: my bet is on 3 or 4 The mighty SFX: ... The mighty SFX: I thought I saw a male as one of those dancers for a second BlackDjeffgo: Would it surprise you? The mighty SFX: ....nu BlackDjeffgo: Me either. BlackDjeffgo: "Hello? Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen!" BlackDjeffgo: NOOOOOOOO!!! NOT ANOTHER DANCE NUMBER!!! The mighty SFX: Yeah The mighty SFX: there are no zombies The mighty SFX: The Zombies are a lie BlackDjeffgo: HOLY SHIT IT'S ONE OF THE GOLDEN GIRLS!!! BlackDjeffgo: Does this movie even have a plot? BlackDjeffgo: She's also a Scat Man.... err... Woman The mighty SFX: Yeah The mighty SFX: I know what the plot is The mighty SFX: Points to a toilet BlackDjeffgo: Nod BlackDjeffgo: Thank God that's over with. The mighty SFX: ... BlackDjeffgo: A break... The mighty SFX: is this an intermission...or is the movie over? BlackDjeffgo: Intermission. BlackDjeffgo: Just... damn. The mighty SFX: Wow BlackDjeffgo: Skull juice... BlackDjeffgo: Damn The mighty SFX: That exchange was awesome BlackDjeffgo: yes it was BlackDjeffgo: Aww, crap, back to the movie? The mighty SFX: Nuts BlackDjeffgo: PREDICTABLE! The mighty SFX: .... The mighty SFX: Must....kill....Jeff BlackDjeffgo: Hey, flat-top's back The mighty SFX: Duh-wha? Oh. We're back BlackDjeffgo: THIS. MOVIE. WON'T. END!!! BlackDjeffgo: That guy has ears that'd put Ross Perot to shame. BlackDjeffgo: (Singing) Ear Boy! His ears are really... BIG!!! The mighty SFX: ...Giant Citrus Juicer XD BlackDjeffgo: This movie should've been called the "We mashed together like 20 scripts all at once and hopes for the best all the while giving it a needlessly long name" The mighty SFX: ... BlackDjeffgo: COME ON. Even Plan 9 from Outer Space had zombies and they weren't even in the right GENRE! The mighty SFX: Wow The mighty SFX: This is horrible The mighty SFX: No. The mighty SFX: Horrible doesn't describe it enough The mighty SFX: It's Shitastic. The mighty SFX: SKULL JUICE! BlackDjeffgo: Yeah... BlackDjeffgo: Wait, is this where the zombies are? BlackDjeffgo: They waited... for the very last... FIFTEEN MINUTES... for one... two zombies? The mighty SFX: ..... BlackDjeffgo: ... The mighty SFX: Wait BlackDjeffgo: The zombies STRANGLE people to death? The mighty SFX: did that zombie RAPE one of them? BlackDjeffgo: 1... 2... 3... three zombies. BlackDjeffgo: ... BlackDjeffgo: Apparently BlackDjeffgo: She suddenly had a lot less clothes on The mighty SFX: Well, she could have just lost the cape The mighty SFX: or..whatever that was The mighty SFX: oh The mighty SFX: and more dancing BlackDjeffgo: The STRANGLE/RAPE Zombies BlackDjeffgo: GOD! WHEN WILL THIS MOVIE END?! BlackDjeffgo: Oh God, not a Leech Woman reference... The mighty SFX: Leech Woman: The Musical! BlackDjeffgo: One of the few terrible movies I saw that made my mom say "I saw that when I was a teenager!" BlackDjeffgo: Why is the GUY in less clothes than the women. Isn't it usually the other way around? BlackDjeffgo: STRANGLING ZOMBIES! BlackDjeffgo: 10 minutes. Only 10 minutes left. BlackDjeffgo: -1 Zombie BlackDjeffgo: -2 Zombie BlackDjeffgo: Wait, the zombie had the common sense to wait to attack AND steal its gun? The mighty SFX: And they're all dead The mighty SFX: That was it BlackDjeffgo: -3 Zombies. That was ALL the "Zombie" in this movie. The mighty SFX: Wait The mighty SFX: There's one more BlackDjeffgo: ... one zombie just... waited behind? BlackDjeffgo: What? Was he asleep? BlackDjeffgo: That's one damn fast and competent zombie The mighty SFX: I don't think he's fully zombie yet The mighty SFX: Skull Juice seems to have a gradual effect BlackDjeffgo: Whaaaaah~ I... fell down BlackDjeffgo: GOD JUST SHOOT HIM AND GET IT OVER WITH ALREADY!!! BlackDjeffgo: Has there been ANY plot in this movie? The mighty SFX: No BlackDjeffgo: I mean, I don't even know these guys' names. BlackDjeffgo: The actor finally realizes he's in a shitty movie BlackDjeffgo: And so decides to end it all BlackDjeffgo: He's crying. BlackDjeffgo: Maybe cuz he's acting BlackDjeffgo: Maybe cuz he knows he has no future as an actor The mighty SFX: .... BlackDjeffgo: Wait, they don't even SHOW him fall BlackDjeffgo: He grabs his chest and the camera FREAKS OUT The mighty SFX: They threw a camera spiraling into the water The mighty SFX: or something BlackDjeffgo: Maybe. BlackDjeffgo: Oh, he's still alive. Albeit slightly wetter, in more ways than one. BlackDjeffgo: Feel free to interpret that one as you would. The mighty SFX: .... BlackDjeffgo: FINALLY! It's over! BlackDjeffgo: My favorite character was Madison the cop. Because he didn't speak. Ever. He just shot people. BlackDjeffgo: M'kay, the MST3K guys are gonna bring us home now. BlackDjeffgo: Poor Mike. The mighty SFX: ...ow The mighty SFX: .... BlackDjeffgo: The children of the gods are little bastards too. BlackDjeffgo: Aww. Pearl has a sweet side. BlackDjeffgo: ... or not... BlackDjeffgo: She had me fooled. The mighty SFX: Yeah The mighty SFX: me too BlackDjeffgo: M'kay, now for the wrap up on our end. BlackDjeffgo: Well... BlackDjeffgo: .. BlackDjeffgo: It sure was... BlackDjeffgo: ... BlackDjeffgo: a movie. The mighty SFX: Shitastic? BlackDjeffgo: Yeah. BlackDjeffgo: One hour and 15 minutes for a grand total of 4 zombies and one half-zombie BlackDjeffgo: All who died within a 10 minute span BlackDjeffgo: It had nothing to do with creatures, it had nothing to do with getting tired of living, and the zombies were not mixed-up. BlackDjeffgo: In fact, as far as zombies go, they were easily the best-coordinated and competent zombies I've ever seen. BlackDjeffgo: But, no, seriously, this movie sucked ass. The mighty SFX: Yeah The mighty SFX: I have nothing else to say The mighty SFX: This movie depresses me BlackDjeffgo: I've seen worse, but damn, have I seen far better. BlackDjeffgo: Okay, final thoughts before I post this? The mighty SFX: ..... The mighty SFX: I has none BlackDjeffgo: Me either. G'night, everybody!
	Come visit me and my thought processes at my website: http://www.publishedauthors.net/tdotdw/news.html "In the cold light, justice and morality always look corny and you can't wave the flag and look cool. But like it or not, society needs its heroes." - John Hart; actor who played The Lone Ranger.

Jeff's Bad Movie Commentary! · Media Sector