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Game reviews that really annoyed you?
Topic Started: Jul 7 2012, 01:36 PM (1,520 Views)
Deleted User
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Hey ya'll,

What are some game reviews that really annoyed you for whatever reason. I only mean professional reviews because most amateur reviews are clearly just troll reviews nowadays (unless done by a man named Colin).

Here are some of mine....

IGN UK's review of Deadly premonition 2/10 - The thing that annoys me most about this game is that whoever reviewed it clearly only played for an hour at most. If you had played this game all the way through you would have given it a 5/10 for the character development alone. Oh and btw they've since changed the score to a 7.5/10 because you know IGN can't have such a bad review on a cult classic.

IGN UK's review of Prototype 2 - I was almost put off playing this game because of this review (for the record i only read reviews for games I know nothing of). The reviewer made a big deal about Heller constantly saying random things that got annoying. The problem is it's just not true. Sure he does say things every now and then but no more then any other character out there and atleast most of what he says has something to do with what just happened. The reviewer managed to completely miss out all of the small details that the game improves upon aswell leaving me to think the reviewer didn't play the first game.
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Luchalma
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HeLeeham
Jul 7 2012, 01:36 PM
IGN UK's review of Deadly premonition 2/10 - The thing that annoys me most about this game is that whoever reviewed it clearly only played for an hour at most. If you had played this game all the way through you would have given it a 5/10 for the character development alone. Oh and btw they've since changed the score to a 7.5/10 because you know IGN can't have such a bad review on a cult classic.

I'm pretty sure IGN UK's was always a 7.5. It was only IGN US that was a 2.


I really don't get bothered by any reviews. I don't mean that in the "I don't even READ reviews. I think for myself, sheeple" kind of way. I just read or watch them as the opinions they are, and take away from them only the objective faults and features. If a review is by someone who has demonstrated that they have similar tastes to myself, then I will pay more attention to the more opinion-y aspects.
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HAWT
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Luchalma
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Wait. I just remembered I hate Jim Sterling.


Fuck Jim Sterling, and anything he says or writes.
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HAWT
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Hmm if it was IGN US then thats strange because I can't even get onto the US site. I don't mind reviews if they disagree with my opinion. I just find it annoying that these people are paid to write reviews and amazing games like Deadly Premoniton get the half arsed "play it for one hour and give it a 2/10 because no one will probably play it anyway" treatment.

Then on the oposite side of the coin you have IGN giving Uncharted 3 a 10/10 but Arkham City gets a 9.5/10. I'm not saying Uncharted 3 doesn't deserve a 10 (I've only played the first) but what does it do that is .5 worthy more than Arkham City a game that is in my opinion as close to perfection as a game from this gen could be. One can only assume IGN were afraid to give Uncharted 3 anything less.
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Deleted User
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Oh and Fuck Greg Miller, the worst fanboy on the internets ever.
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James
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Anything done for comedy purposes that blurs the line between comedy and serious to the point stupid people can't tell the difference. An example of that being anything at Escapist.
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Luchalma
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HeLeeham
Jul 7 2012, 02:26 PM
what does it do that is .5 worthy more than Arkham City a game that is in my opinion as close to perfection as a game from this gen could be.
It is perfect.

;)
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HAWT
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Deleted User
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Surely not? I wouldn't even call my 2 favourite games of all time perfect. Again I would use the term as close to perfect as possible for its time. Can you honestly say nothing about Uncharted is less then perfect? Tacked on Multiplayer? Shooting mechanics could be improved?
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Luchalma
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The wink, good sir! Why does everyone always ignore my winks?

In any case, I've made no secret of the fact that I consider Uncharted 2 and 3 to be among the greatest games of all time. But as you said, nothing's perfect. And the 10/10 isn't supposed to imply that it is. I can only imagine that Uncharted 3 and AC were reviewed by two different people. But UC3 definitely deserves its 10.
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James
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Thinking about my answer more, would Escapist even be considered professional? I assumed so given the background there but I'm not really sure.
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I thought you were coming on to me. This is the problem with having only one person review a game. Like give Greg Miller a disc that says God of War or Uncharted on it and he's probably written a 10/10 review for it before he's put it in his console. I can tell people like Greg Miller are fanboys just from reading their reviews without playing the game myself. Surely they have to hand in these reviews before they get posted on the site so why can't the person they are submitting to see the blatent fanboyism.

I've never been on Escapist so I couldn't give an opinion on that. Btw I've been using your Pawn Lauren recently and she's pretty badass..... granted she is almost double my level but still.
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Hed
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I cannot read IGN. I don't know when they sat down and decided that all of their reviews should read like a frat boy is taking a break from beer pong to tell me about a game, but I checked out when they did. Seriously, I'm surprised they don't actually write "lol" once a paragraph over there.
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Deleted User
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I know exactly what you meen. Really the only reason i still go there is Movies and Comics.
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Speaking of IGN, did anyone see that they put an indie game on their reviews, Apple Jack 2. I was surprised to see it there. Haven't read the review yet.
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I'm not familiar with a lot of the review sites you guys have mentioned in the past, but I would think that a site that does Indie game reviews, or even threw a couple in a separate section, would prove useful to people. Not because one can't just play it and find out for themselves, but more so just because of the sheer amount of Indie games, and there is no easy way to search/filter them it seems.


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Luchalma
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I wish big name sites would give full fledged reviews to more Indie games.
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^Same time post!
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Luchalma
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Nice!
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billy bug
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The Prodigal Jobber of FGM.
I honestly don't get the love for AA and AC. They're ok, but they didnt suck me in at all and I soon lost interest.
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Not until I see those Street Fighters pummelled to dust... which should be any moment now!
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Every review that scored Ninety Nine Nights 2 under a 7.

Fucking criminal that games average rating, it's the soul reason I put ZERO stock in reviews now.
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CapwnD
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Long Live the New Flesh!
IGN's review of just about anything last gen. Probably this gen too, I stopped going to the site last gen because of the bad reviews.

The one that sticks out is The Thing. I wanted to know differences, I wanted to know if the PS2 version and Xbox version both didn't allow inverted controls (kind of a big deal if you require inverted controls) and I think the review for one of the consoles even had control references to the other consoles. So it was blatantly clear that the revew was the same for both consoles.
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"...We were, of course, all ninjas" - Larry Hama GI Joe #26

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^ That was supposed to have been an excellent game, no? The movie was awesome. I know they did a remake but I never saw it.
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Luchalma
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83203991746296836621193042739573
Jul 8 2012, 08:20 AM
^ That was supposed to have been an excellent game, no? The movie was awesome. I know they did a remake but I never saw it.

It was a good game from what I remember. I didn't end up beating it but I liked what I played. It captures the paranoia aspect of the film pretty well.
Edited by Luchalma, Sep 24 2012, 05:32 PM.
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HAWT
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SoulEnder
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The Bard
Ohhh, buddy. I'm leaving this one alone. I make people mad with my thoughts on gaming journalism.
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I hang 'em on their own words--hooked on phonics
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MrMikeNC
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I will never forgive, let alone forget the utter disgust when I read the IGN review of God Hand from Chris Roper over at IGN. He gave the game a 3.0, and when I was done reading it, I was like, "did this guy play the same game as me?"

Sure enough, there were enough rabid fans that destroyed his review on the IGN boards that actually prompted this douchebag to post on his BLOG in which he titled his rant "So I am an asshole becase God Hand sucks?". In his rant, he freely ADMITS that he only played ONE level and wrote his entire review based on the time spent playing it. What a complete and total asshole, especially when his review said things like "generic characters". Needless to say, I think his blog then generated even MORE hate directed at him.

I also was really pissed at one review for Onechanbara : Vortex. Ok, we know the game is low budget and is basically fan service, but there was a female, cannot remember the magazine, that pulled the "only horny teens who jack off" care about this game. It always offends me when reviews make personal insults at gamers and sterotype them.

Lastly, I was sort of pissed at Jim Sterling and his review on Duke Nukem : Forever. I also hate reviewers who pull the PC card and try to pretend like they grew up and want to appeal to the no nonsense PC crowd. Duke Nukem was and always was about toilet humor and being offensive. It was no worse or offensive than previous versions. You seriously mean the implied rape dialog REALLY made you uncomfortable? Get a pair will you Jim?
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Gabrius
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Shin Tyrant
MrMikeMA
Sep 26 2012, 02:03 PM
I will never forgive, let alone forget the utter disgust when I read the IGN review of God Hand from Chris Roper over at IGN. He gave the game a 3.0, and when I was done reading it, I was like, "did this guy play the same game as me?"

Sure enough, there were enough rabid fans that destroyed his review on the IGN boards that actually prompted this douchebag to post on his BLOG in which he titled his rant "So I am an asshole becase God Hand sucks?". In his rant, he freely ADMITS that he only played ONE level and wrote his entire review based on the time spent playing it. What a complete and total asshole, especially when his review said things like "generic characters". Needless to say, I think his blog then generated even MORE hate directed at him.
iagree::
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Luchalma
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It's recommended to ignore anything Jim Sterling has to say.
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HAWT
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MrMikeMA
Sep 26 2012, 02:03 PM


Lastly, I was sort of pissed at Jim Sterling and his review on Duke Nukem : Forever. I also hate reviewers who pull the PC card and try to pretend like they grew up and want to appeal to the no nonsense PC crowd. Duke Nukem was and always was about toilet humor and being offensive. It was no worse or offensive than previous versions. You seriously mean the implied rape dialog REALLY made you uncomfortable? Get a pair will you Jim?
Don't know anything about the guy, but I started getting into this game recently, myself. Gotta say that I am really liking it, myself. It's been fun as hell so far, but you mention reviews and I remember skimming through a video with those Giant Bomb guys talking about different problems with this game, and I thought man this must be terrible. But then as I progressed through the game I realized that I was passing these same places and thought.... what? It's fine.... Different strokes.

With this game, I think if you grew up with the old style shooters, you'll have a blast. Hell even if you didn't it seems to be a solid game so far at least.

And I wasn't even a big fan of the original Duke 3D. I only played it because of how easy they made it to hop into a game and play online with people, at the time.

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Resulli
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Zooba.
I'm not a horny teenager and I would still enjoy the ever living crap out of Onechanbara. I know this just from seeing gameplay. jester::

<.< I like fanservice, sue me.
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SoulEnder
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The Bard
...rant incoming...
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I hang 'em on their own words--hooked on phonics
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