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| Shit my dad says....; not my dad...this other dudes dad. | |
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| Topic Started: Oct 22 2009, 03:47 PM (31 Views) | |
| xGuN SliNger 77 | Oct 22 2009, 03:47 PM Post #1 |
Core- Token AZN
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I cut and pasted fro twitter. He basically tweets amusing things his pops says. The username is : shitmydadsays I cut and paste a bunch of them.....I probably posted some of the older stuff: "The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain't like he knows the cure for cancer and he just ain't spitting it out." about 3 hours ago from web "You sure do like to tailgate people... Right, because it's real important you show up to the nothing you have to do on time." 10:53 AM Oct 20th from web "Just pay the parking ticket. Don't be so outraged. You're not a freedom fighter in the civil rights movement. You double parked." 12:59 PM Oct 18th from web "I like the dog. If he can't eat it, or fuck it, he pisses on it. I can get behind that." 10:11 AM Oct 16th from web "Remember how you used to make fun of me for being bald?...No, I'm not gonna make a joke. I'll let your mirror do that." 9:15 AM Oct 14th from web "That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won't screw you, don't do it for them." 9:10 AM Oct 12th from web "Son, people will always try and fuck you. Don't waste your life planning for a fucking, just be alert when your pants are down." 10:41 AM Oct 10th from web "I wanted to see Detroit win. I've been there. It's like God took a shit on a parking lot. They deserve some good news." 9:13 AM Oct 8th from web "We didn't have a prom. Dancing wasn't allowed...What's Footloose?...That's the plot of the movie? That sounds like a pile of shit." 10:57 AM Oct 6th from web "Does anyone your age know how to comb their fucking hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their head and started fucking." 10:03 AM Oct 5th from web "You're being fucking dramatic. You own a TV and an air mattress. That's not exactly what I'd call "a lot to lose." 5:57 PM Oct 3rd from web "You're like a tornado of bullshit right now. We'll talk again after your bullshit dies out over someone else's house." 5:08 PM Oct 1st from web "Jesus Christ, Just give the dog his fucking food. Why's he gotta do a trick first? YOU don't have to do shit before YOU eat." 10:28 AM Sep 30th from web "It's not the gardener's job to pick up the dog shit. If you don't want to pick up the dog shit, then learn a skill like gardening." 12:47 PM Sep 28th from web Do these announcers ever shut the fuck up? Don't ever say stuff just because you think you should. That's the definition of an asshole." 11:51 AM Sep 27th from web "A scar ain't 13 god damned stitches. I'll introduce you to men with REAL scars, then we'll all laugh at your fucking 13 stitches together." 10:57 AM Sep 26th from web "I'm sitting in one of those TGI Friday's places, and everyone looks like they want to shove a shotgun in their mouth." 2:56 PM Sep 24th from web "You're gonna run into jerk offs. But remember, it's not the size of the asshole you worry about, it's how much shit comes out of it." 10:46 AM Sep 23rd from web "I wouldn't worry about money...No, it has a lot to do with happiness, I just meant YOU shouldn't worry, cause you'd just piss it away." 9:28 AM Sep 22nd from web "No, you can not borrow my t-shirt...How about instead of standing there looking shocked, you do your fucking laundry?" 3:30 PM Sep 21st from web I think the baby shit....Well, I'm smelling shit right now, so if it ain't the baby, one of you has a big fucking problem." 12:05 PM Sep 20th from web "Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don't realize until later that it's because it fucked you." 10:38 AM Sep 19th from web "The universe does not give a fuck about you. You are a speck in its shit." 3:00 PM Sep 17th from web "Fucking Radio Shack. It's a wonder they even know how to use a bathroom and don't just walk around all day with shit in their pants." 12:08 PM Sep 16th from web "Don't listen to the pussy side of you when you make a decision. People gravitate towards being a pussy. Remove the pussy, son." 11:57 AM Sep 15th from web "Happy birthday, I didn't get you a present...Oh, mom got you one? Well, that's from me then too, unless it's shitty." 9:52 AM Sep 14th from web "Anytime someone sells you food in a sack, it's not a sack of food, it's a sack of shit." 11:29 AM Sep 13th from web "I turn the kitchen faucet on and the shower burns you, yes, I get it...No, I'm not gonna stop, I'm just saying yes, I get that concept." 8:54 AM Sep 11th from web "Why the fuck would I want to live to 100? I'm 73 and shit's starting to get boring. By the way, there's no money left when I go, just fyi." 2:58 PM Sep 10th from web 'You don't know shit, and you're not shit. Don't take that the wrong way, that was meant to cheer you up." 12:01 PM Sep 9th from web "Here's a strawberry, sorry for farting near you...Hey! Either take the strawberry and stop bitching, or no strawberry, that's the deal." 2:04 PM Sep 8th from web "The worst thing you can be is a liar....Okay fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2" 12:41 PM Sep 7th from web "Who in the fuck is tila tequila? Is she a stripper?...That's her? Yeah, that's a stripper, son, I don't give a shit what you say." 11:22 AM Sep 6th from web "Everybody loves that Da Vinci code book. Bullshit, it sucks. I read it. It's for all the dummies." 12:24 PM Sep 5th from web "I'm having a Makers Mark, you want one? What? 7up? I ain't mixing fucking makers with 7up. Might as well put a lil' fucking umbrella in it" 9:28 AM Sep 4th from web “You touched that god damned biscuit. Bullshit, I saw you touch it….I don’t give a shit about your evidence, this isn’t a court of law." 2:01 PM Sep 3rd from web "It's just a fucking june bug, calm down. Jesus Christ, what happens when something bigger than a testicle attacks you?" 1:12 PM Sep 2nd from web "What are you listening to?...I know who Hall & Oates are god dammit. It's the mustache guy and the gay man." |
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| sln333 | Oct 23 2009, 12:11 AM Post #2 |
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Man that dude's dad is great. "Jesus Christ, Just give the dog his fucking food. Why's he gotta do a trick first? YOU don't have to do shit before YOU eat." He makes sense as well. |
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| Krazy Monkey25 | Oct 23 2009, 05:53 PM Post #3 |
Core []D [] []\/[] []D
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That guy would make a good Prez.... Speaks the truth! |
 
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