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| [Accepted] Izayoi O. Steelman; Done | |
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| Topic Started: Dec 9 2016, 07:38 PM (981 Views) | |
| 栄 Zaber | Dec 13 2016, 10:41 PM Post #11 |
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Water Dragon Slayer
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The cooldowns and durations are acceptable for those first two spells. The last one, yes you need to designate a clear time of 'charging the spell before casting'. The charge time should reflect the effects you use, and bare in mind-- to charge a spell, you won't be able to do any big attacks or actions outside of that post. |
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| 博 Tenken | Dec 13 2016, 11:27 PM Post #12 |
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Hoennese and proud!
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Yo that doesn't sound like anything the current king would back at all man, he's all about the international relations and the sharing of magical knowledge. -- Your "Enemies and Rivals" tag has "Allies and Friends" as the Header above the Foundation or whatever. --
Gotta love the fact that you can't have transformation spells as an ex-quip user. -- Please link the actual purchases of the items (as in their topics) in the Purchases tag on your Sources. I know it's on the items but put it in the purchases tag too please. --
This will also need to be a magical effect, not a natural one. -- Yeah there's no way you're getting the 40% discount on your amulet - it's neither a katana nor an aura armour (as in an armour that generates an aura) it is instead an accessory that generates an aura and that is not the same thing. -- Actually as it is your "theme" and your discounted items don't make sense - it goes on and on about being a blacksmith but your discount is auras and only one kind of weapon? Nah bro, you gotta gel that together a bit better. -- Techniques:
-- Sentou Meguri: OK we all knew it was gonna come to this so let's get nice and comfortable. Look straight out I'm not happy with it, not even a little. You're spontaneously generating items to a literal nth degree to the point of ridiculousness, not to mention the massively staggered effects layered together. This is going to be gutted man, pure and simple and straight to it, and it's gonna be hard, but together we can get through this and make it a reasonable idea to have around. But we'll go individual sections:
Alright I think that's about everything. |
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| 御 Jossle | Dec 14 2016, 01:16 AM Post #13 |
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Swordsman & Swordsmith as One!
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huff huff....there....its done...now imma...lay down for bit
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| 栄 Zaber | Dec 14 2016, 06:08 AM Post #14 |
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Theme of magic still needs defining for what does your items work for ? Basically is it a form of knight? Samurai? Magic Swordsman with armor. Please provide a base example that fits the theme of your magic. Since the amulet won't count towards it. For Zanoshi-- your using a power stat. For a damaging effect, its better you just use Rank 5 damage or serious damage-- list of damages is shown in advance rules on site to show what rank does which name of damage. A power stat is inconsistent with what a magic attack does. To keep it simple, just state "Rank 5 damage" and whatever other rank is used per spell. Endurance is fine. Now on the minor detail, I am not sure while the back story about Fiore Secret Service thing will be possible, best to consider something different. If not acceptable, you will be forced to replace the story anyway. |
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| 御 Jossle | Dec 14 2016, 10:24 AM Post #15 |
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Swordsman & Swordsmith as One!
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This is just torture.. . But fine... Theme is eastern weapons and armors , see element on magic but i have now made it samurai , clear enough i hope. Also took your suggestion to replace power with rank x damage in the rank tableNow...the bureau/foundation thing, I need to get this off my chest.... ![]() Its just flavor text guys! how is it so damn important everyone keeps mentioning!? But as per tenn's request, i fixed the bureau mentioning the crown so now is just a plain group of people that are super nationalist and have a lot of influence (I was inspired to make them by NRA) as tenn's problem with it was that it broke canon with the whole mentioning of the crown. With that behind us, i would like to repeat what I said to ina....These groups are largely devices for plots that have very little to do with him as spoiler alert izayoi won't join either of them! These groups are just a writer device to justify his adventures in IC. They are not important in anyway, they are background characters in the case of the bureau and mook villians and creepypasta monsters in the case of the foundation! So please just lets move on the actual important stuff Edited by Jossle, Dec 14 2016, 12:10 PM.
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| 栄 Zaber | Dec 14 2016, 04:20 PM Post #16 |
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This is my personal opinion and i can be wrong-- But im willing to let the story thing slide. However, you need to understand what you do is not 'canon' to the actual world of FTG's lore here. You may write it down here, but its not gonna be official or centered in any site events . I personally don't care about your background choice. However, if you start passing yourself off as some big-shot in FIore's goverment it might cause issues with events. Other than that, I'm good with what you have. Edited by Zaber, Dec 14 2016, 04:20 PM.
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| 御 Jossle | Dec 14 2016, 07:42 PM Post #17 |
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...if you are good. Give me the 1+ please. right now it isn't very clear
Edited by Jossle, Dec 14 2016, 07:49 PM.
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| 栄 Zaber | Dec 14 2016, 07:54 PM Post #18 |
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1/2 approval. I agree with this as it is now. |
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| 栄 AuraLex | Dec 15 2016, 06:03 AM Post #19 |
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Ask away; I have all the answers.
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Zanoshi -Get rid of the word 'either,' you don't need it there Henkou -A lot of these numbers are pretty high for their ranks. I'm not going to go through each of the ranks and tell you what numbers you should have, but decrease them all by a bit. A ballpark for your Rank 5 would be probably, 2 meters in length, .5 in width, or 15 kg of weight. Hyakutou Meguri -In your Ranks spoiler, it still says that it "allows him to use all his Ko and Telekinetic Ryu abilities without cooldown." That should be changed to or -From Rank 6-8, there should be a 2 Rank penalty. And from Rank9-10 there should be a 1 Rank penalty. |
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| 御 Jossle | Dec 15 2016, 06:24 AM Post #20 |
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fixed. Small tweaks really |
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. But fine... Theme is eastern weapons and armors , see element on magic but i have now made it samurai , clear enough i hope. Also took your suggestion to replace power with rank x damage in the rank table


6:50 AM Jul 13









