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[Accepted] Nero Angelo Aureo; The World Over Heaven
Topic Started: Oct 11 2016, 02:44 AM (1,923 Views)
heiner777
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"Sapientia Sola Libertas Est"
Well, there goes my band-aid for when I play with Popo's rabbit; or from getting fellatio'd to death by seven-foot Lickers for that matter. It was totally worth it though. Best death ever. \( =w= )/

So... I think I kind of got it this time. Maybe. Probably. Hopefully...

...
...
...

*cries* ( TT▼TT )

By the way, out of subject; can I post my entry in Oktoberfest even if my OC is still pending approval? I mean the instructions say it has to be your character, but since Nero is still being born, I have no idea what to do.

♫♪♫~My mind is telling me no, but my body, my body's telling me yes~♫♪♫

*bumps and grinds with BOWs*

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Inara Serra
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Honesty without tact is cruelty.

Aight. Doable.

1/2

Also, they were 8 feet tall. ^.^
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Mazohyst
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Stay the course.

Your techniques require a lot more work. For one, none of your techniques explicitly mention how they are delivered. Line of sight is mentioned, but this does not state at all how it is delivered. It is a beam? A pulse? A wave? Do you just have to look at something to use your techniques on? You 100 percent require this information.

Moreover, a magic that can decompose things at this level is 100 percent not acceptable. You simply can not have your magic in its current form. Most magics destroy things by destroying it, which is acceptable, but decomposing it and turning it into nothing has far too many ways to abuse it. You're better off completely reworking it. Moreover, being able to decompose both techniques and physical structures is also a no-go, especially with the sheer lack of detail you've presented in the Ether technique.

tl;dr - You'll have to rethink your magic. The way it is written, the way it is delivered and presented, won't be acceptable unless you either vastly rewrite every sentence to the point of acceptability or completely change your entire magic.
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heiner777
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"Sapientia Sola Libertas Est"
I think I described the mode of delivery of the magic in the Magic Description portion so that the focus of the techniques would be just the effects, but I guess I was wrong. Sorry about that, sir. ( x_x )

Anyway, I added in that part a bit clearer to make the magecraft manifest on the spot, but its formation would be determined by the Accuracy parameter. Long story short, until fully manifested, it would do no damage or have no effect.

As to your concerns regarding the magecraft itself, let me respectfully point out that nowhere is it mentioned that it decomposes something into nothing; that would just not make sense since the Law of Conservation of Matter dictates that nothing can be really 'destroyed' so much that it turns into 'nothing'. Rather, the Destroy Decomposer techniques transform one state of matter into another state of matter, which causes damage; it is as simple as that.

As to DD -Ether-, I think that I explained it fairly well considering that it was my intention to do away with the fluff and go straight to the meat, as I have been advised before. Thus, it simply does what it does; ether clumps of a certain magic Spell are transmuted into foreign Spell formulas, thus breaking the chain which make a Spell usable. Think of it as replacing copper wires in a circuit with dud wires that cannot conduct electricity; before, it could make the light bulb light up, but after the switch, it does nothing.
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Mazohyst
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Stay the course.

Ether is pretty much an Anti-Magic technique. Your magic is not Anti-Magic. Therefore, you'll need to replace that technique.

Conservation of matter bullshit aside, you're still effectively obliterating it. The physics behind it is completely irrelevant. What matters is what you're actually doing, which is basically completely destroying it as per your description. Anything that is not in your description literally doesn't matter.
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heiner777
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"Sapientia Sola Libertas Est"
I respectfully disagree, sir. Anti-magic prevents magecraft from being cast or performed; DD -Ether- negates other magecraft in the same way as how magic-versus-magic clashes work. The only difference is the aesthetics of how it goes about it, for where others go by flashy beam-versus-beam types, this one just plucks a string and does away with the magecraft of equal and lower ranks.

As for the matter on DD -Matter-, which I assume is where your main concern lies, it likewise functions the same as 'most magic which destroy things by destroying it, which is acceptable,' as you said; there is no difference apart from how this OC goes about it. He destroys, but does it by molecular decomposition; ultimately producing the same effect as offensive-type magic. Thus, I fail to see how this could be the subject of abuse when the Destroy Decomposer techniques are expressly limited to their own effect.

With that said, if you can, I would appreciate it if you could cite examples as to how it could be 'abused' to enlighten me on your concerns because, as it is now, the magecraft itself looks reigned in compared to the amount of damage one would usually expect from this kind of magecraft.

Also, I apologize if pointing out the LoCoM seemed to have offended you; I just wanted to correct your notion. In any case, please feel free to continue your critique, sir. (-^_^-)
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Mango
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What's The Point

I think there's some misinterpretation going on here in regards to what's wrong with your magic. First things first - magic on FTG isn't balanced based on technicalities. This should be fairly obvious by now. It is only the end effect of your technique that is actually relevant, not the trivial details of how it works.

Mechanically speaking, "a Rank 7 Fireball" is no different from "a spherical burst of solar energy created by concentrated combustion in accordance with Newton's 420th Law of Molecular Combustion that deals Severe damage", because at the end of the day, they both do the same thing - deal Rank 7 damage (assume that's all they do for the sake of the example).

TL;DR you can't explain away a requested balance change with technicalities if the change has to do with the effective end result. At the end of the day, Ether is still effectively Anti-Magic, and you're still effectively decomposing things at this rank, trivialities notwithstanding, which is why it needs to be changed.
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heiner777
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"Sapientia Sola Libertas Est"
POPO! *hugs Popo* (>=w=)>

I missed you, dear; I hope real life is treating you well despite the fact that it has been working you hard to your bones. How is the finger, by the way? Hopefully it has healed up quite nicely. *nods* ( °w° )

Anyway, it is good to see you again! *hugs Popo again because he missed her* (>=▼=)>

Okay, now that 'that' is out of my system, basically what you are saying is that I should make the manner of delivery less technical and science-y and more magical in character? For balancing issues and not for effect?
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Tenken
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Hoennese and proud!

No what is being said is that the fundamental base of your magic is antithetical to what you're actually trying to do and you should probably alter the Ether thing entirely.






Edit: Turning this into a full review because I have a few minutes and noticed some issues:

Age:
You need a concrete actual number here - you might not know it IC but we need the actual number.

Magic Description:
Quote:
 
specifically, his line of sight, where his magic can manifest at any specific point therein (spell formation speed dependent on Accuracy

Will still require range limitations on every single tech since line of sight is entirely dependent on time of day, overall accuracy stat, field of view and a few other stupid ocular measurements.

Quote:
 
Nero can identify the design and composition of all matter around him

Of equal rank or lower.

Quote:
 
then using the magecraft, he can break down the structure in its entirety or selectively choose bits and pieces of it.

This is gonna be fun.

Quote:
 
For constructs composed of ether clumps such as Spells, Nero can disassemble the design or neutralize it by transmuting just a portion

Only if your entire magic is anti-magic is this gonna fly.

Quote:
 
For material constructs, he can selectively break them down to a quantum level

Quantum no.

Quote:
 
If used on a person, the parts that form the human body – including skin, flesh, nerves, body fluids, bones, and cellular structures – could be decomposed instantly, leaving only dust and gas.

Same.

Quote:
 
even temporarily reinforce another's physical structure by interweaving his magecraft into the subject

This violates the very idea of 'equal use of matter' and the various FMA-related laws you're implicitly channeling therein.

Quote:
 
With respect to Spells, Nero can empower another's magecraft and make it stronger, allowing weaker allied Spells to be bestowed with 'divine intervention' at any given time.

No to this also.


Techniques:
Remake Reconstructor:
-Alter this to either "On Touch" or "on contact with a beam" because just a line of sight deal is way too strong.
-Lower ranked techs only.
-Cannot alter the set strength of an item (D-Rank to C-Rank for example)
-Cannot alter the strength of a tech (Rank 3 is always Rank 3, never higher/lower).
-Cannot affect living things.

Destroy Decomposer - Matter
-Make range "On Touch" because otherwise wtf no.
Quote:
 
or bring them to any point before it

NaBrO - all or nothing.

Ether:
Nah.
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heiner777
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"Sapientia Sola Libertas Est"
I partly had a Philosopher's Stone-imbued Alchemy set in mind when I crated the magecraft; Greed I and Ling-Greed, specifically. A pretty fun skill set when you think about it, but I guess I should have expected getting flak for that having included it in the description of a magecraft at Rank 7. I guess I will have an easier time at Rank 10 and above with all the 'quantum deconstruction' and 'organic body vaporization', but for the meantime, the editions have been made. I kept DD -Ether- though; just reworked it.

Have at it then, good ma'am/sir. I look forward to your critiques soon. (-^_^-)
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