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[Accepted] Calcifer Jones; The Wolf Of Icendar
Topic Started: Dec 19 2015, 06:48 AM (794 Views)
GlitchCode
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D-Class
Account Name: GlitchCode


Profile
Name: Calcifer Jones
Nickname: Cypher (s-aye-fur)
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Height: 198.12cm
Weight: 220lbs
Guild: N/A
Class: D
Affiliation: Nuetral. Has affiliated with both light and dark for different Hunts

Appearance
Physical Description: Somewhat solemn in appearance, his pale skin contrasted by his medium length, stark black hair that hides his pointed ears. His high, shallow cheeks under yellow eyes that burn like miniature suns. His eyes actually change colors between shades of yellow, orange and red dependent on the temperature of the surrounding area. Toned, muscular body with multiple claw marks on his chest and a branded mark on his upper right shoulder blade depicting a flame in the wind. He has a fighters posture, seemingly relaxed but expectant of battle at a moments notice.
Branded mark

Clothing: He wears a black button up shirt with red lining, which generally drapes over his figure until his waist line. It seems crumpled and wrinkled no matter how much it is ironed and there is a deep red stain even visible upon the black shirt that cannot be removed. He wears black dress pants over red and black boxers. He accompanies this with black dress shoes with a red sole and lining.
Dress Shirt

Accessories: Black scarf, red leather belt.
Extra:
Picture:
(Calcifer Jones)


Personality
Brought up with pack-oriented values, he is very loyal and defensive of those he cares about and will often place himself in harms way in their stead. However, to be accepted by him takes power and respect gained through combat. He has not yet lost a fight and is not over-confident about his abilities. He is humble and confident is all aspects of his life.
He has intense, burning bloodlust that can only be quelled with a succesful hunt. He has mixed feelings about his hunts, because the safety of his pack is being used against him, but he feels more alive while hunting. Due to his demonic origin and nature, once he sees blood on a target, his efforts are tripled due to a blood lust only satisfied with slaughter of the prey. He can be very violent when provoked, his protective nature often leading to conflict. He often feels the need to act strong and detached but he is a very emotional person who supresses the emotions out of need.
His favorite food is blue rare steak, and his favorite drink is tea because he finds it amusing that one can flavour water with leaves (Icendar has no plants). His favorite activity is lounging about because he typically can't rest when working due to the danger involved and the focus he needs during a hunt. He is diligent when it comes to his work and never leaves a job unfinished if he can help it. He says he doesn't have a favorite color because he sees no point, but secretly he loves the green of leaves and moss, the rich forest green.
History
History


Weaponry/Equipment
Gauntlet: grafanc tywyll

Gauntlet: crafanc cysgod

Knife: llosgi Cyllell



Stats - 45
Strength: 11
Accuracy: 10
Stamina: 9
Speed: 8
Magic: 7

Earned
Stat Points Earned: 0/0
Arc Points Earned: 0/0
Jewels Earned: 100,000/100,000

Sources
Sources


Skills & Disciplines
Proficient tracking skills coupled with swift, light-footed running allow for adept hunting. While seeming to fight somewhat animalistically at times, he is quite skilled in the Icendaran Martial Art of Frwydr Yn Uffern.
Frwydr Yn Uffern


Magic
Magic Name: Mythic Hunter
Magic Type: Take-Over Magic
Tier of Magic: 1
Rank: 1
Magic Description: Hell-hound Demon Take-Over. The ability to transform into a Demon Hell-hound. While able to stand on two legs for battle, it is preferred to run on all fours for extra speed during a hunt. This state allows for him to use Hellfire Magic while outside the Take-over, and gives him a magic buff as well as natural weapons during Take-Over. In a full TO, which he has heard many elder pack members discuss, he will "Become fire itself, wrapped in shadow and set upon Hell with fury". It is unclear, for there has not been a full TO is Icendar's living memory.
Hellfire Magic

Techniques
Edited by GlitchCode, Jan 31 2016, 11:07 PM.
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LunarCataphract
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First off I'd like more in the history; nothing more just information about why he stayed in Earthland and where he got the house from. Your history states he was summoned to hunt a single demon then it implies he'd be sent back home after wards. That may just be me being a little tired but still I'd like the clarification.

While he has a martial arts style remember it won't make him any stronger than he already is.

"Magic Description: Hellhound Demon Take-Over. The ability to transform into a Demon Hellhound. While able to stand on two legs for battle, it is prefered to run on all fours for extra speed during a hunt."

More information please. What can he do in this form? Can he summon fireballs? Manipulate heat? Use darkness magic? Basically what does changing forms allow him to do magic wise.

Next on the list is "
Techniques: (1)/2" you only need to put that down once. It is for keeping track of how much TP you've used and have total. In your case it would read
"Techniques: 2/2" You do not need to, nor should, put it down twice.

You do not seem to fully understand how take over magic works. For starters changing forms increases your SP and TP with the amount it's increased by determined by level. You can discover what amount it increases by reading this thread here: http://s1.zetaboards.com/Fairy_Tail_Guild/single/?p=469816&t=4024561

"Techniques: (1)/2
Neidio Cysgod - (Rank 1)
Type:Offensive
Range: 10m
Effect: The ability to teleport a short distance using shadows, even allowing for interdimensional travel of a fixed, relative point in both planes. However, the duration is short and the cooldown os long because too much time shadow-jumping can cause the users body to become shadow."

You will need to directly state what the cool down and duration is. Cooldown and duration information is located here: http://s1.zetaboards.com/Fairy_Tail_Guild/single/?p=615957&t=4812080

More detailed information regarding movement techniques, which this technique is classed as, can be found here if needed: http://s1.zetaboards.com/Fairy_Tail_Guild/single/?p=642214&t=4812080

Other than that does he need line of sight from starting point to destination? Can he port through solid objects?

"Techniques: (2)/2
Rhoi Efi - (Rank 1)
Type:Offensive
Range: Personal
Effect: Changes the head into that of a Hellhound, enlarging the fangs and elongating the snout. A mane of pitch black fur draping over his shoulders. Increases accuracy and speed due to heightened senses (sight, smell, hearing, taste) and a primal hunting ability imbedded in the mind."

Excluding what I said before hand regarding the TP and SP gains on account o f TO(take over) magic there's a few things missing. For starters it needs a cool down and duration which can be found under the information regarding TO magic. Secondly if this does increase his senses then you'll need to compare it to a real world animal or give us an exact measurement like "he can track senses up to X meters away" or "hear sounds perfectly clearly up to X meters away".

As I am incredibly helpful I shall link you to a character with a technique that improves the senses. Reading that should give you all, or at least most of, the answers you need. This is the character in question: http://s1.zetaboards.com/Fairy_Tail_Guild/single/?p=391755&t=4086741
The technique you're looking for is animalistic senses. Like always myself and other staff members are willing to answer any questions you have.
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GlitchCode
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He has been updated
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LunarCataphract
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Clothing must be four to seven lines long.

Okay what does this darkness hellfire magic...do?

If this is take-over magic where is your take-over technique? You need a spell to go between your human/normal form and your take over form.

"Neidio Cysgod - (Rank 1)" Normally I would say no to an infinite weight limit...but considering it's only two people I'll let it slide. Provided he can never move more than two people. However that will be for later ranks as at rank one being able to moving two people with no weight limit attached is just far too powerful.

"Rhoi Efi - (Rank 1)" Much much too powerful for rank one. 100 meters perfect vision? Able to track animals at 50 meters? Can hear a pin drop 25 meters away? That is going to need some serious nerfing for rank one. Rank one magic is incredibly weak. At rank one a fire mage could barely conjure up anything worse than a pint sized fireball.
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GlitchCode
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Kay I'll fix him again and reply when he is updated
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GlitchCode
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Updated. and I actually fixed the clothes lol
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LunarCataphract
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Okay everything is good except one thing: Where is your take over technique? Not really take over magic without one.
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GlitchCode
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I fixed Rho Efi so it is a TO technique once again
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Inara Serra
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Honesty without tact is cruelty.

From the top.

Appearance:
Clothing could use another 1-2 lines. Our minimumn is 4 and you're barely scratching 3.

I'd say another line for physical as well. Just falling a bit short imo.

History
Also falling on the short side. Its not even at the minimum I'm afraid.

Magic
  • Why you trying to dual element + TO?

  • you lack an actual technique for takeover.
  • You lack any description of the form.
  • You lack the spoiler containing how many TP you have inside form.
  • you just kinda basically left your TO out of your TO.
  • You can't have enchanced senses without actually having the form exist. Lol. Hold on. Let me link you some things.
  • Thing 1 which is the TO rules, which I don't feel you've read.
  • Thing 2 which is my very own T1 TO so you have some idea what it is you're missing here.

    K thats all for now.
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GlitchCode
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I'll update him from Ina's message and then after I update again, can someone move him back to WIP for use at a later date.?
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