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| [Accepted] Diarmuid Lochlann | |
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| Topic Started: Aug 16 2015, 07:29 PM (601 Views) | |
| Setanta | Aug 16 2015, 07:29 PM Post #1 |
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D-Class
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Account Name: Setanta Profile Name: Diarmuid S. Lochlann Nickname: The Bastard Lord, Parlor Mage Age: 20 Gender: Male Height: 6’1” Weight: 170 Lb. Guild: N/A Class: D Affiliation: Neutral Appearance Physical Description: Diarmuid stands tall at 6'0", athletically built with not a useless muscle on him due to years of bounty hunting, and even longer running as the bounty himself. Raven locks that curl luxuriously around his regal face and eyes the color of steel, eyes that flash gold as the sun whenever he performs his magic, ar the main features of Diarmuid’s face. As for his body, a strange, cross-like scar mars the back of his right hand, while his left hand sports a diagonal slash of its own. His torso is marred by a thousand tiny nicks and scratches, all with their own stories and all earned gloriously in battle or ingloriously in his previous life, whether that was in a death match with a gunner or a bad bounty that got the jump on him, or from his father whenever a tutor said he wasn’t quite good enough that day. His eyes always seem to shine with mirth, and his face is always graced with a roguish smirk, as if he recognized long ago that the universe is playing a practical joke on him and he decided that he might as well roll with it. He almost always looks as if he's found something funny in any situation, and will often attempt to liven up even the bleakest of situations with a bit of humor. The word that immediately comes to mind upon seeing Diarmuid is 'lupine.' Whether one sees him sprawled in a chair, loping through the urban environment, sneaking around, or even in the heat of battle, there is always a certain fluidity in his every movement, an animalistic gracefulness coursing through his limbs that survives compare with the infamous stalker in the night. Clothing: Even Diarmuid’s manner of dress reveals this relaxed yet powerful attitude. Black slacks, held up by a belt with a Celtic cross buckle end in tightly laced combat boots, to ensure movement is unimpaired and invisible at night. A form-fitting long sleeved, turtlenecked shirt encases his torso, steel gray with red lines like the veins on a golem running through it. A black coat with long coattails covers all this, making Diarmuid almost impossible to spot when he doesn’t want to be. Scarlet gloves cover his hands, shielding the scars he’s so ashamed of from public view. For his other set of clothes, Diarmuid usually dresses quite smartly, wearing a white dress shirt covered by a black blazer with red buttons, cut to fit perfectly over his shoulders, always donned up to look as official as possible. For pant, he may either wear regular black slacks, or black slacks with red plaid upon them, to liven things up. Smart looking black dress shoes finish up the look, good for any party while still allowing uninterrupted movement and solid footing. Diarmuid may wear nonprescription glasses with this disguise in order to lull people into a false sense of security, but he will always wear the ubiquitous gloves to cover his hands, this time white as the first snow. Accessories: A single Silver Ranked Celestial key, meant to open the door to Arsene Lupin, the family protector. A memento from his mother, Diarmuid has no other use for it save to remind him as to what he came from and what caused him to become the man he is today. Picture: Diarmuid Lochlann Personality "Happy-Go-Lucky." That's probably the phrase that seems to best describes Diarmuid's personality. No matter where he goes, no matter the situation, even a smile will always grace Diarmuid's lips, as if life is one big game to him. He's always relaxed, and thus able to take a step back to view a situation in full detail. Diarmuid seems a truly decent man, and strives to be kind to all he meets. He is quick with a joke, enjoys the company of his friends, and would rather take the blow himself than have to watch the sufferings of a companion. However, he is also rather sarcastic, always willing to interject a caustic comment with a smirk on his face and his arms crossed. But while Diarmuid is quick to take up his friends' problems, he is loath to unburden any of his own, fearing it would give away a weakness. Occasionally, when he's alone, the eternal smile disappears behind the clouds in his thoughts, as he broods over his mistakes, and what he could have done to change the past. Still, even this state doesn't last long- eventually, Diarmuid will give up the dark train of thoughts with a dismissive wave of his hand, and will just disappear for a couple days, returning covered in dirt and soot and scratches from head to toe, having picked a fight or twenty. His favorite times are when he’s fighting, weapon in hand, the steel feeling like a natural extension of his own body. He loves that moment when he’s fighting for his very life, that sensation like dancing on the very edge of hell. He despises boredom above all else, and will do almost anything to get rid of it. If that means going for a night on the town or joining a mercenary company for the thrill of battle, then so be it. One of Diarmuid's most obvious traits, however, is his complete self-assurance. He is confident in his every move, and is always optimistic about any course of action. Even his smooth, practiced walk- with his shoulders back, head held high, and arms freely swinging, nowhere near his blades- illustrates his leonine pride. This pride allows him to shrug off most insults, and laugh at those who would cast such petty words, but it is a double-edged sword as well. If some enemy would dare anger him, by attacking those rare allies who have somehow managed to become his friends- or, God forbid, his teammates, he will fall into the sheer rancor of his soul and devolve into a berserk frenzy. Much of this, however, is merely show- Diarmuid puts on a mask, like one would at a play, to separate himself from the world and protect himself. He knows that a quick smile and a quicker wit are the fastest ways to someone’s heart, and so he allows himself to take on these traits, to be the congenial socialite he was raised to be as a child, to lower the chances of betrayal once more. He himself never allows anyone access to his heart anymore, and instead views all social interactions from a more dispassionate, third person point of view, as if he weren’t part of the conversation at all, simply watching: watching for signs of dishonesty, signs of greed, or signs of betrayal. He is at constant war with himself- the part of him that is so tired from having walls erected around his heart, and wants one person, just one, to confide in and trust, and the part of him that remembers what happened the last time he allowed that to happen. History History Weaponry/Equipment Name: Gravedigger Class: D Description: A keepsake from his old life, stolen from his father’s possession, and the only clue others ever receive as to Diarmuid’s identity. Holds 8 shots, a little military trick Diarmuid’s father always demanded of his sidearms. That seventh shot always hit the foolhardy ones, but the eight… the eighth always caught the clever ones. A square-muzzled revolver, Gravedigger is gunmetal grey with black trimming, topped with slight orange garnish on the cylinder. The words "Mustang Arms .357" adorn the sides, the stamp of the biggest arms manufacturer in Rijou. The trigger has a perfectly smooth guard, with the safety being a simple switch just above where the grip fits comfortably into Diarmuid's hand, the grip having been worn down and replaced countless times until it fit him perfectly. Gravedigger breaks sideways, to allow clear access with a speed loader, so Diarmuid can lose his spent casings quickly and get back in the action immediately. Effect/Function: Fires Bullets. Not very complicated. picture Name: .357 Caliber Bullets Class: D Description: Large caliber bullets that fit Gravedigger perfectly. Amount: 25x Bullets Name: Combat Knife Class: D Description: A very basic dagger. Good for close quarters combat, or for a surprise attack. The 6 inch long straightblade itself is entirely black, having been covered with pitch so much the color has seeped into the metal. Ridges adorn the back of the blade for a better grip, while the razor curves up to meet the spine at the edge, creating a wicked looking point. A slight hilt protects Diarmuid's hand in combat, but it is clear that this knife is meant for little more than taking life. Effect/Function: Stabs things. Stats - 45 Strength: 7 Accuracy: 10 Stamina: 8 Speed: 10 Magic: 10 Earned Stat Points Earned: 0/0 Arc Points Earned: 0/0 Jewels Earned: 100,000/100,000 Sources Sources Skills & Disciplines Man of Many Faces- Diarmuid was raised the socialite all his life, a skill that was only reinforced by the necessity to hide who he was for the past 7 years. As such, Diarmuid can easily assume any persona he needs, allowing him to infiltrate any social gathering with ease. Combat Pragmatist- Diarmuid’s seen what happens to those ‘honorable’ men who always ask for a duel for the woman they love, or some other incredibly small slight that’s been blown out of proportion- they die, one and all, killed while deep in their cups or assassinated in their sleep. Diarmuid has no intentions of going out like that, and so he’s willing to do whatever it takes to ensure it’s the enemy that ends up on the ground with a bullet between his eyes, and not him. Whether this means ambushing, throwing a bit of sand in an opponent’s face or spinning to blind him with coattails, or surrendering only to get the drop on the opponent, all is fair in love and war- and to the battle hungry Diarmuid, this is a little bit of both. BattleStorm- Roaming the wilderness of the Pergrande Kingdom with nothing but Gravedigger and a dagger by his side, Diarmuid has developed a particularly vicious method of fighting that allows him to target both close and long range opponents. Boosted by Magician’s Hat, in the heart of battle, Diarmuid looks nothing so much like a black storm of gunpowder and steel. Survivalist- Some bounties required extended time hunting for them. As such, Diarmuid has learned to live off the land, being able to recognize most safe flora for consumption, as well as where to set traps to catch and cook the local fauna. He makes a mean spit pig, and his ‘awww, screw it stew’ is to die for. Magic Magic Name: Magician’s Hat Magic Type: Spatial Tier of Magic: 1 Rank: 2 Magic Description: Magician’s Hat is the rule breaker’s magic, the magic that takes everything one knows to be true and right and makes them wrong. Focusing on spatial rips and distortions, Magician’s Hat is the perfect magic for a trickster like Diarmuid. By wrapping space around him like a cloak, Diarmuid can connect places that should normally be impossible to travel to within seconds, effectively teleporting, or he could bend the fabric of space with some prep work, making the journey of a thousand miles begin and end with a single step. At higher levels, Magician’s hat can also be used as a weapon, closing a dimensional rip on an enemy to produce the sharpest cuts, or creating a pocket dimension and expanding it so everything is blown away. However, as the rule breaker’s magic, it has two great flaws: it cannot create. This magic is carny magic- it tricks, it distorts, it breaks, it destroys. But unlike many spatial magicks, it cannot Make. Finally, Magician’s Hat once again separates itself from more powerful spatial magicks in that while it is a rule breaker, it is not a rule maker. Magician’s Hat cannot imitate ‘rule’ magicks that state what will and will not be. As long as Diarmuid focuses on his magic, he can twist the world to his favor. But the moment he stops exerting his will upon reality, it will quickly snap back to normal. Sidenote: It is easy to tell whenever Diarmuid is using his magic, as his eyes begin to glow gold. Techniques: 2/2 Sleight of Hand – 1 Misdirection – 1 Edited by Setanta, Aug 21 2015, 06:33 PM.
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| 博 Tenken | Aug 19 2015, 12:26 AM Post #2 |
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Hoennese and proud!
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Items: Gravedigger needs a description of the actual item's appearance, since pictures can break or not load depending on certain mediums. The Dagger also needs dimensions and the like, since "basic" doesn't really denote shape or length or a lot of things. Skills: Ride the Lightning is literally 100% based on your accuracy so this should not actually give you any additional abilities over anyone with the same accuracy stat as you, and you'll always be worse off than someone with a higher one. Spatial Awareness needs to be an actual part of a magical technique, not a skill I'm afraid. Magic: OK, let's get the main issue out of the way:
That thing is potentially very broken, but a very nifty idea. As it is I'd like it removed from the magic since the power there is something I'd allow more for illusion magic than spatial manipulation. Techniques: Sleight of Hand is an issue since it implies you can directly target someone and they don't have a way of dodging it, but then instead it simply turns into an accuracy buff? There's a moderate dissociation between your description and your effect that needs to be rectified. Secondly you cannot AoE buff as your magic is not support focused nor support specialist, you can only give the buff to yourself. Thirdly, what happens if an enemy moves out of the range of the effect - does the portal close? Do you lose the buff? Does the portal shift to another enemy? What if there are no other enemies? ----- Misdirection again has an issue between effect and description - while the idea of portaling an attack around yourself is a good one it's not a shield - in fact doing that would actually just result in the attack hitting someone behind you. You basically need to decide if you want this to be a shield technique OR a portal technique, not both. And the cooldown will be 3 either way. Finally if you do make this a portal technique then it wont be able to effect physical/melee attacks, only magical or ranged ones and you will need to give the portal a set of dimensions. |
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| Setanta | Aug 19 2015, 09:20 PM Post #3 |
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D-Class
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Items: Fixed, didn't realize. Sorry about that! Skills: Both skills in question have been deleted. No worries~ Magic Description: Changed. I just thought that would be a fun thing to do as a technique later on. It now reads to reflect a technique I plan to use later on to make up for Misdirection's inability to dodge physical attacks. Sleight of Hand: Changed so that it's a Self Buff as required. Apologies for any misunderstanding on this one- I didn't mean for it to sound as an auto hit (as those are no doubt not allowed). Basically how Diarmuid would use this is that he fires, the opponent moves after wards, so Diarmuid opens a portal that allows him to correct the trajectory of the bullet afterwards, to give him a better chance of hitting that bandit or rouge mage or what have you. Doesn't matter if the enemy is out of range, since the bullet can fly on its own and all Diarmuid is doing is tweaking its flight path a bit. At higher levels I would like him to be able to make multiple portals for one attack, so that yes, you could dodge that first shot, but you'd have to be careful of that bullet entering a different portal and coming at you from the side, so Diarmuid would effectively be playing Portal pinball. That might have been where the confusion was coming from. But again, that seems anywhere from rank 5 to a rank 8 upgrade, so until then this skill is merely an accuracy buff. Misdirection- This one was my misunderstanding. I thought shield was a catch all term for any skill that protected the body. Updated to reflect that it is in fact a portal, I am aware that this skill will only prevent magical/ranged attacks, dimensions have been added, and cooldown has been increased as requested. Anything else? |
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| 博 Tenken | Aug 19 2015, 11:33 PM Post #4 |
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Hoennese and proud!
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The addition of phasing to a portal/spatial manipulation magic is a little bit of an issue, since not only is phasing a seperate magic itself but portals normally are as well to spatial manipulation (which covers general manipulations but not portals or phasing specifically) so the phasing thing makes the magic a little too weighted. Based on your description just now Sleight of Hand still has some issues - since the point is the accuracy buff and the 'portal' as it were is the flavour-text in this situation (not the other way around) if an enemy were to move out of the range once these things are opened up the portal should dissipate immediately. As it is the fact it's reactionary and is used after someone already moves (as in on your 2nd post in a fight 1v1 as it is currently worded) makes it sound a little God-moddy, being able to retroactively be like "nope now it hits you" is kinda broken. I'd advise rewording the technique, since it should activate with the buff and be on an enemy, vanishing once they move out of the range rather than the other. As it is as well there needs to be a written distance from the 2nd portal to the enemy (so it's not just on their chest or the like) so it still gives a chance to dodge. Finally, if instead your point behind it is for the portal to be the main part of the technique (i.e. a specific attack redirect) rather than just flavour text then there should not be a buff aspect. At Rank 1 Misdirection should only be 1' x 1' in size. Edited by Tenken, Aug 19 2015, 11:35 PM.
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| Setanta | Aug 20 2015, 12:36 AM Post #5 |
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D-Class
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Got it. Fixed everything as per our discussion here and in the chatbox. |
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| LunarCataphract | Aug 21 2015, 09:28 AM Post #6 |
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A-Class
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1/2 |
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| 梟 Inara Serra | Aug 21 2015, 06:38 PM Post #7 |
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Honesty without tact is cruelty.
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After some super small edits discussed in cbox...![]() Your character application is now accepted and will be placed in the archived forum. This topic has now been resolved, so therefore its closed. This is an automatic message. |
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