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| [Accepted] Crucia Pulcrituda | |||||||
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| Topic Started: May 1 2015, 05:43 AM (699 Views) | |||||||
| esdeath | May 1 2015, 05:43 AM Post #1 | ||||||
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Las Tres Feas
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Account Name: esdeath Profile Name:Crucia Hebika Pulcrituda Nickname: Hebi, The Tundra Fox Age:19 Gender: Female Height: 6'0" Weight:148 pounds Guild: N/A Class: D Affiliation: Neutral Appearance Physical Description: Physically speaking, Crucia looks fairly impressive. Given her tall stature and her build, she is considerably well-formed and looks almost athletic at first glance. Of course, what often steals that first glance is her "inhuman" qualities, which are, in actuality, not originally part of her body, but those will be detailed later. So far as Cruxia herself, she is hardly frail-looking. Between her height and her build, she looks just right for her weight. With a head of brilliant white hair that is typically grown out to shoulder-length and slightly tanned skin riddled with a set of crimson tattoos of a tribal fire design. despite her build, she actually has considerably fair skin. Her eyes are a brilliant piercing crimson, often sent in the direction of a wayward traveller with only mild interest, if any at all as typically speaking she is not very expressive out in public as more often than not she is alone. Underneath that shroud of antisocial features is actually a rather striking woman. To call he pretty would be a poor choice of words as despite her fair skin she has very strong features and is feminine-looking, but not traditionally so. She is what many might call 'amazon' in some respects. This is further added to by the fact that she often binds her chest such that she can sometimes even be mistaken for a male. And now onto the areas of her body that are only "technically" her. Specifically this is referring to a parasite that, over the course of her young life, fused to her body. The parasite itself Okamikaichū or Wolfworm, takes the form of a centipede with long antennae looking very much like a set of canine ears. It's body is very fuzzy to the point of looking, and feeling, like fur. At a young age, this parasite burrowed into her spine and fused to her back, the head of the creature melding into the back of her head whilst the lower portion simply hung from her lower back, the legs falling off and forming her 'tail'. At present, one can barely tell that it was at one point a separate creature, the fusion is practically seamless, and one would need to actually dig through the fur to notice the fact that under all that fuzz is insect exoskeleton fused to the girl's back. Clothing: As a result of her family she is used to wearing traditional eastern-style clothing and typically wears hakama-style pants and matching tops, covering any open areas with bandages as she does tend to bind her chest as well as her forearms. Typically she does not change the types of clothes she wears through winter and summer surprisingly as temperature changes don't bother her excessively. Ontop of this she is very often found wearing a hooded cloak and any other type of concealing clothing as a means of hiding her abnormal features from others. Otherwise she does tend to wear hooded tops and will usually tuck her tail into her clothing in order to hide it. On rare occasions she will sometimes let them be seen, for example if there is a situation such as a costume party or the like where people will just assume the tail and ears are a part of her costume. As a result of this she often likes to collect costumes in her travels from the parties she attends. Picture: Crucia Personality A very quiet girl most of the time, Crucia has hardly been taught to trust others. Considering all that's happened to her she tends to be cautious of others even if she tries to be optimistic and more cheerful. When her adoptive mother first found her, she urged Crucia to try not to have the events of her past hold her down, words she came to hold to heart, but in practice she typically fails to overcome her apprehension. Prone to making mistakes and even judging people at face value at times if they are particularly intimidating, she does try her best to be social and pleasant with other individuals, but she has a hard time building trust. Additionally, subconsciously she is very much afflicted by the beliefs of her tormentor: the man who subjected her to the parasite that fused with her. As a result, she reveres her ears and tail as spiritual 'gifts', (though she is more prone to use the word curse) and as much as she dislikes them she takes very good care of her 'tail' and 'ears', brushing them and making sure they are kept clean. While they were originally foreign matter after the fusion she developed the ability to sense through them and as such she does tend to move them around from time to time, even sometimes forgetting that she has them and sometimes bringing unwanted attention through them as they do sometimes reflect her emotional state. While by no means frail, she does tend to avoid having them damaged simply because she not only receives sensory information from them, but pain as well. She is plagued with the irrational fear that a sufficient amount of pain will awaken the parasite and cause it to dig it's way back out of her spine and skull, killing her. As such she is typically easily bullied into situations if her ears or tail are threatened, or at least more prone than harm to the rest of her body. History History Weaponry/Equipment Name:Mösön Class:D Description:A kopis sword with an icy-blue blade. The handle measures 8 inches in length and has a guard 4 inches in width. The blade itself is 3.5 inches in width and is 26 inches in length. The sword itself weighs about five pounds. Effect/Function:It cuts things. The handle can also be used for blunt-force. The ladies seem to love it. Name:Ögzög Class:D Description: A ringmail undershirt. The metal itself is a smoky black and completely covers the torso and arms. The text "Elf ni khezee ch itgej" is embroidered into the collar, which translates to "Never trust an elf" The armor itself weighs about eight pounds. Effect/Function:Protects the user from run-of-the-mill pointy things. Name:Un Elfe Class:D Description: The name translates from french into "An elf". It appears, at first glance, to be a simple flintlock pistol. However it has no actual internal barrel as it is only hollowed out midway down the gun, the faux barrel actually housing a hidden segmented blade which collapses into the barrel and when fired, extends a full 8 inches from the tip of the gun. There is however a secondary trigger along the underside of the weapon which leads to a chamber inside of the shortened barrel which fires separately from the blade extension. This secondary chamber can fire two rounds before it must be reloaded. Effect/Function:General misdirection, blunt force weapon, and very nifty letter/neck opener. Name:L'oreille D'elfe Ammunition (24 rounds) Class:D Description:These rounds are Buckshot cartridges designed for the weapon "Un Elfe". Each round fires a narrow spread of 8 pellets. Effect/Function:They go into guns and shoot bullets. No special effects from the rounds themselves. Stats - 45 Strength:5 Accuracy:8 Stamina:5 Speed:7 Magic:20 Earned Stat Points Earned: 0/0 Arc Points Earned: 0/0 Jewels Earned: 100,000/100,000 Sources Sources Skills & Disciplines
Magic Magic Name:Hokkyoku no Sōseiji Magic Type: Elemental Magic - Ice Tier of Magic: 2 Rank: 3 Magic Description: Known as Arctic Twin magic, this form of magic is actually commonly mistaken as a combination of Exquip combined with Ice Magic due to the execution of it's techniques at low-to-mid levels. The Magic was developed as a means of assassinating individuals without physically getting close to them. Uses techniques that center around deception and the use of "doubles". For some spells this is simply a cloud of ice crystals that create the illusion of the user performing an action, whilst other spells may employ the use of ice clones, though in both cases, the user typically is hidden for the duration of the attack. Typically most of it's Techniques fall under the name Arctic Twin Assault, although when executed or mentioned to those who are not practitioners, they are instead referred to as Arctic Assault so as to maintain the illusion. Techniques: 2/2 Arctic Assault: Sweeping Tundra Buster - 2 Type: Offense Range: 15 meters Effect: This Technique produces a mist of ice crystals creating a 'double' from the very same mist. This Double dashes towards the target location and appears to summon a large buster-type blade (Typically referred to as Tundra Buster) along the way. Upon reaching the target, the illusion slashes at the target twice (The double lasts for a maximum of two posts and can execute the slashes at the discretion of the user, though by the end of the second post the double will vanish wether or not both slashes have been executed, though if both slashes are used in the first post then the double will immediately vanish after the second slash). As the sword is not real, it will appear to slice clean through the target regardless of obstruction whilst mist fills in the path of the 'blade' and then freezes in the path of it's arch, creating a crescent of ice that damages and locks the target in place. The double is not solid and as such is not particularly effected by attacks or damage. The on-hit Ice-lock lasts for 1 post and does not stack. Sweeping Tundra Buster Scaling
Edited by esdeath, May 3 2015, 12:32 AM.
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| LunarCataphract | May 1 2015, 09:16 AM Post #2 | ||||||
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Hmm..I like your profile's avatar :P Not your character's, but your own account's. I always did like a confident smirk :P Anyway..NOW LET'S DESTROY THIS CHARACTER WITH MEAN FEEDBACK! :'D! Kidding o3o First things first. With non-human characters they need a magic that is associated with them being non-human. Like a fox person would need a fox person magic, such as illusions or fire as that's what Kitsune/fox-people tend to be associated with magic wise. Of course as you got the centipede you'd probably need magic the centipede gives you. It's obvious but I wanted to point it out. I would like you to write a little more for the clothing section. Your sword and ring mail shirt will need a weight. You also need ammo for your gun. I would suggest...25 bullets. And yes ammo does refresh between threads so don't worry about having to buy it again constantly. I don't see how your magic comes from the parasite. You can easily have this ice magic you just need a bit of fluff to explain how it comes from the parasite/is associated with your character's inhuman traits. I would also make your magic type "element creature magic-ice" "Arctic Assault: Sweeping Tundra Buster" The mist that is formed. It will need an accuracy cap. Say.....people with twenty or more accuracy can see through it. Add that and there won't be any thing else. Not that I can see anyway. Edited by LunarCataphract, May 1 2015, 02:07 PM.
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| esdeath | May 1 2015, 06:09 PM Post #3 | ||||||
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Las Tres Feas
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The parasite itself doesn't change her species, she is still human as for OOC purposes the Parasite only serves three purposes: A) appearance of Ears and tail B) Cool story C) Justification for her starting out with super high magic and pissy physical stats. Which I know aren't necessary, but I felt it would make story more interesting. As such, I changed the wording and added specification in the parts regarding the parasite. It did not give her her powers, it was simply used when she was young to bring out and amplify her existing magical power (which at the time was miniscule). Clothing section has been buffed up. Weight added for armor and blade. and well...Un Elfe didn't actually shoot bullets XP It was just a cleverly-disguised switchblade. Although you pointing it out did make me realize it was a missed opportunity, I added in a firing function and added ammunition. Gracias. Accuracy req has been added to the technique. |
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| LunarCataphract | May 1 2015, 06:27 PM Post #4 | ||||||
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Hmm..well. If it is just cosmetic..and she's still human...then...yeah I suppose I can roll with that. It is, after all, a parasite. So..yeah...without further adieu
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| 座 Fumus | May 2 2015, 08:47 AM Post #5 | ||||||
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・。゜. ヘ(゜Д、゜)ノ
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Your Arctic Assault: Sweeping Tundra Buster currently conceals, deals damage, and immobilizes(?) as far as I can read. I am okay with Concealing & Damaging or Concealing & Partial Immobilize/Restraint, but not all three in one. You'll have to choose which to do (or change it entirely if you want). Depending on which you choose will affect the range of your tech, which will be looked at after your decision. |
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| esdeath | May 2 2015, 09:26 AM Post #6 | ||||||
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Las Tres Feas
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Conceal portion removed | ||||||
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| 座 Fumus | May 2 2015, 07:23 PM Post #7 | ||||||
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・。゜. ヘ(゜Д、゜)ノ
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Alright, just a few more things for Sweeping Tundra Buster: ・When it says "locking", does this mean full immobilization (unable to perform any action)? If so, that won't work since it could render another person/thing completely useless and helpless. However, making them be unable to move from where they're standing and/or unable to reorient their body (like twisting their body around) while still allowing them to move their arms or the like would be okay as long as it's mentioned as such. ・The range will need to be lowered. Perhaps: 5/10/15/20/30/40/50/65/80/100m (from rank 1 to 10) ・You'll need to increase the cooldown. Perhaps: 3/3/3/3/3/2/2/2/2/2 posts (from rank 1 to 10) ・What is the duration? The attacking portion seems to be instant duration (fires off when you cast it), but what about the locking ice? I'm thinking it can last 1 post duration. If you'd like to make the locking ice last for 2 post duration starting from rank 6, then the tech will need to have a 3 post cooldown throughout all its ranks. Just as a note, duration works like so: Ex.: Icebolt. Dur 2 post, CD 2 post. Turn1: Use Icebolt. Their1: Affected by Icebolt if hit. Turn2: Icebolt still in use. Their2: Still affected by Icebolt if hit. Turn3: Icebolt CD 1/2. Their3: No longer affected. Turn4: Icebolt CD 2/2. Their4: Not affected. Turn5: Able to use Icebolt. Edited by Fumus, May 2 2015, 07:32 PM.
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| esdeath | May 2 2015, 09:14 PM Post #8 | ||||||
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Las Tres Feas
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The Ice lock is the crescent remaining in place. If the 'slash' goes through the torso diagonally, then the crescent would form in it's path, lockin the shoulder, torso, and probably forearm on the other side. Whereas a vertical formation would lock straight up through the middle and leave the arms free. it's a false slash that leaves ice in it's path that stays in place locking the person inside it, as described. also why would it have such a horrible range? it's a normal ranged attack as the user themselves is not actually dashing and even rank 1 projects get a 10 meter range. And the standard cooldown is two in the rules, o is that higher now? Is it because of the effects and complexity? I'm alright hightening it, just being new I just wanna know what about the spell makes it need a higher one. And just so I understand, is the duration of the spell itself treated differently from the duration of the effect? As in: If the duration is instant, then not only does the attack only last the post it's executed but the effect as well? And so if the duration was two posts instead it would entail the attack lasting as long as well as the effects of being struck? Or are they treated separate? I'm simply curious because the example you posted has instances of "Icebolt still being in use" alongside "effects of icebolt" is this attack a continuous stream of ice being fired? or is it a single bolt of ice that shoots and if it hits has an effect and so long as the effect persists it's considered "still in use"? |
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| LunarCataphract | May 2 2015, 09:34 PM Post #9 | ||||||
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The range guide is only guide lines for single offensive projectiles. As in ranged techs that simply just cause damage. It doesn't factor in additional effects such as debuffs, locking people in place and anything else you could imagine. And yes the increase in cool down is, most likely, due to the complexity. The standard cool down is two posts but the key word is standard, as in for standard non-complex techniques. |
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| esdeath | May 2 2015, 09:44 PM Post #10 | ||||||
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Las Tres Feas
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Very well, lastly to my question regarding duration and the effects of a hit? is duration exclusive to the action or is the spell itself's duration matched to the duration of the effects? aka If duration is 2, does this apply to both on-hit effects as well as how long the spell itself persists? Or is the duration in this case attributed to just the duration of the on-hit effect? |
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