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| [Accepted] Manus Muiredach Callahan | |
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| Topic Started: Mar 15 2015, 12:09 AM (609 Views) | |
| Zen | Mar 15 2015, 12:09 AM Post #1 |
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Account Name: Zen Profile Name: Manus Muiredach Callahan Nickname: N/A Age: 21 Gender: Male Height: 191 cm Weight: 78 kg Guild: N/A Class: D Affiliation: Neutral Appearance Physical Description: Manus is a man standing at a little over 191 centimeters or 6 feet and 3 inches tall. His raven-black hair hangs down to his jaw, framing his relatively pale face and partially concealing his ears. Sharp, almond-shaped, carmine eyes stare out from underneath of a pair of thin, black eyebrows to complement his relatively pointy nose. Underneath of his thick, often concealing clothes, Manus's body is well-trained and shows evidence of power hidden underneath of the robes that make him seem so slender. Manus has well-kept, often clean hands that tend to smell of soap or disinfectant due to the almost-irresistible urge he has to wash his hands whenever possible. Clothing: Manus tends to wear robes, often a dark grey, dark green, or dark red in color. Even if he wears other things, the clothes are never vivid, and often as far from fancy as possible. As a monk and a healer, Manus tries to live and thus dress humbly. He occasionally wears simple shirts underneath the robes, often white, and simple black pants, often loose, but sometimes akin to jeans or loose leather in case such weak material would be impractical. For footwear he usually wears sandals, but sometimes he wears more sturdy footwear. Accessories: A pipe. Manus is very fond of it. Extra: N/A Picture: Manus Muiredach Callahan Personality Though not religious, Manus is a very spiritual man like all of the other monks at the Verdant Heart Monastery. Holding the value of a well-lived life in high regard, Manus prefers to avoid violence if necessary, and doesn't take a life under most circumstances. However, the monks at the Monastery also teach that one is allowed to defend their own life, even if it comes at the cost of another. Thus, if necessary, Manus will freely use everything at his disposal to end an attacker's life to save his own. As a person, Manus is often considered as distant and apathetic. Indeed, he's not a man who cares about much, but this is because as a healer, he loses patients on occasion. Staying disconnected from his people is Manus's way to keep himself from falling into depression. Each of the Verdant Heart monks has their own way, but few choose the lonely road Manus follows. He keeps himself disconnected from not only his patients, but from everyone else as well. After all, every person might one day end in his clinic with a terminal illness. This does not mean Manus isn't passionate about certain things. First and foremost is, of course, helping the ill. During his longest surgical operation, Manus spent 16 hours straight without sleep, food, or water along with two other Verdant Heart monks to perform a heart transplant on a woman of his age. Using magic to keep her alive as much as they used technology and medicine, the experience left a deep impression on Manus - the beauty of life does not always come cheap. As such, Manus is thankful for the life that he has been given and attempts to live every day to the fullest. Another passion of Manus's is... well, the female body. Though he avoids emotional connections and never pervs over his patients, he definitely appreciates a well-sculpted woman. He is rather shameless about this, and occasionally goes so far as to read magazines or comics containing rather lewd imagery in public. History History Weaponry/Equipment Name: Protective Robes Class: D Description: See Clothing. Manus's standard robes are made from the silk of the steelworm, a particular type of larvae bred by the monks at the Blackstone Monastery. Though this silk is, by itself, not magical, the process of production is. The steelworm's name comes from the magic used during the creation of its silk, making it tough as steel but no less comfortable than silk. Effect/Function: They protect Manus from physical and magical damage. Stats - 119 Strength: 18 Accuracy: 17 Stamina: 18 Speed: 16 Magic: 40 (50) Earned Stat Points Earned: 0/74 Arc Points Earned: 0/3 Jewels Earned: 23,280,000/28,680,000 (23,100,000) Sources Sources Skills & Disciplines
Magic Magic Name: Blessing of Sirona Magic Type: Biomancy - Body Control Tier of Magic: 1 Rank: 5 Magic Description: As a biomancer, Manus controls the power of life and has a body that generates additional life force as it absorbs ethernano from the atmosphere. More precisely, Manus can control biological energy and processes, allowing him to perform miraculous acts such as draining his opponents' vigor to weaken them, changing his own body to deal devastating blows, leap hundreds of meters into the sky and come back with great force, and even ramp up his body's generation of bio-electricity enough to send bolts of magical bio-energy towards his enemies. Other examples of techniques are accelerated healing, stealing energy from his enemies, and even internally damage their bodies with a single touch. However, these life energies have a chance of running wild. Every time Manus uses this magic, its innate defects create the possibility of it causing a strange effect on the environment. This is complete random chance, and Manus has no control over this. Techniques: 9/9 (+9/9 Bought) Endurance - 5 Type: Healing Range: Self Effect: Manus's passively-increased life energy means that his body regenerates at enhanced speed, along with granting him resistance to temperature and disease. These passive parts of the technique never protect the caster from magic, though they do allow for faster healing of wounds dealt by magic as easily as wounds dealt by physical damage. Manus can also consciously activate his magic, allowing for rapid healing of a limited amount of damage. However, this infers a generally-long cooldown. Death can never be healed. Manus must be conscious to activate this part of the technique, but does not need to remain conscious during its effects. This active healing follows all of the healing rules described in the healing guidelines. Passive: Comfortably live in temperatures from -10°C (14 °F) to 50 °C (122 °F) without any protective equipment. Gains high resistance to non-magical disease. Heals at 25x normal rate (heals a paper cut in 2 hours, a minor scratch in 30 hours, or a broken bone in 4 days). Has the ability to regenerate. Active: Heals one serious injury every post active. Duration: 1 post. Cool Down: 5 posts. Smite - 5 Type: Offensive Range: 80m (Single)/50m (Multiple) Effect: Manus uses his magic to ramp his body's generation of electricity up to crazy levels, allowing him to send an arc of bio-lightning at his enemies. Upon impact, the sudden increase in bio-energy causes internal damage as the target's body struggles to keep up. He can also split the energy up, so he fires five bolts of lightning. Each of these bolts deals damage one rank below the damage dealt by the single bolt. He can split these bolts up among different targets, but multiple of the lesser bolts always add up to the same damage as the single bolt. A target can never take more damage from this technique than the single bolt damage, regardless of how many lesser bolts strike them. Single: Launches a single bolt of lightning. It causes a quiet thunder-esque sound and deals serious internal damage. Multiple: Launches five bolts of lightning. Each causes average thunder-esque sounds and deals moderate internal damage. Cooldown: 3 post Iron Arm - 5 Type: Defensive Range: Self Effect: Strengthening muscle and solidifying flesh, Manus enhances his defenses greatly. His entire body is empowered and hardens in response to physical trauma, allowing him to temporarily tank through damage that would severely wound him if undefended. The crunch comes down to that Manus's entire body turns into armor of an item class corresponding to the technique rank. Armor Rank: B Duration: 2 posts Cooldown: 2 posts Warp Strength - 3 Type: Offensive/Supportive Range: Self Effect: Manus greatly increases the muscle strength of his legs for just an instant, allowing him to add height to how high he would jump normally. When falling down, Manus greatly increases the strength of his body, causing him to deal a devastating blow upon landing. At later ranks, Manus also increases the density of his body, causing him to plummet at an increased pace, thus increasing the power of his impact. Possessing this technique at rank 1 or higher also allows Manus to, at any time, jump as high from a standstill as he normally would with a running start. No damage is sustained upon descent. Jump Height: Manus can add up to 2 m to the height of any jump he makes. Descent: If Manus decides to follow up with an attack as he descends, he falls at a normal pace and does additional damage that on its own would cause minor injuries to an average human. Cooldown: 2 posts. Edited by Zen, Mar 26 2015, 10:07 PM.
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| 栄 AuraLex | Mar 22 2015, 08:02 PM Post #2 |
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Ask away; I have all the answers.
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Weapon/Equipment -I don't see how a robe can act like a D-Class armor. Stat Points Earned: should be 0/74 Random Mechanics -This will be it's own technqiue Endurance -Passive will go on CD if the active is used, that said you should probably state this. Smite -CD increase to 3 Warp Strength -Does he sustain damage when he descends? |
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| Zen | Mar 22 2015, 08:06 PM Post #3 |
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1) Edited. 2) Edited. 3) Random Mechanics cannot affect plot, cannot affect other people badly, and the only negative effects are always and invariably targeted towards Manus himself. Asking me to spend TP on that is ridiculous. 4) Edited. 5) Clarified. Edited by Zen, Mar 23 2015, 10:27 PM.
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| LunarCataphract | Mar 26 2015, 09:23 PM Post #4 |
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Regardless of your counter points Zen, which are good ones to make, I have to agree with Aura on this. Regardless of what effects a technique has it has to use TP. Even more so with how powerful some of the random effects actually are. Endurance - 5 This is more of a general suggestion than something I'm going to enforce but for people who don't know how hot/cold certain temperatures are it may be a good idea to include some examples. I myself have no idea how hot/cold the temperatures you've lined out are. This is just a suggestion more than something I'll force so do with it what you will. Smite-5 I'm assuming where it says "moderate internal damage/serious internal damage" refers to the damage Manus himself suffers correct? If yes then is that also the amount of damage other people suffer if hit by this technique? Also I am assuming the whole business with two ranges refers to the range of a single projectile compared to multiple ones? Other than that...everything seems okay to me o.o |
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| Zen | Mar 26 2015, 09:43 PM Post #5 |
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Do I need to add it in freaking bolded letters? Nobody except for Manus himself is negatively affected by these effects. I refuse to spend TP on something that has an small, random chance of happening and has no sort of benefit for my character, stat-wise while also being incapable of affecting the plot of any thread in a serious way. I'm pretty sure most people will understand that -10 is "very snowy day" temperature and 50 is "sweltering desert" temperatures. Besides, this would require me to write more examples every time I upgrade the technique, which I can't be bothered with. ...Of course it means the damage other people take. Spending TP on making random useless effects is one thing, but spending it on a technique that exclusively hits myself with a cooldown and everything is stupid. Manus himself takes no damage from this technique, and why would he? Edited by Zen, Mar 26 2015, 09:44 PM.
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| LunarCataphract | Mar 26 2015, 09:48 PM Post #6 |
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We know what you're saying. We know what you're arguments are but that is FAR too powerful to do without TP. You will NEED to spend TP if you want it. Well I didn't but alright. He takes no damage from smite? Oh I see now..my apology. I misread that. |
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| Zen | Mar 26 2015, 09:58 PM Post #7 |
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What about it is so powerful that it warrants the spending of TP? |
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| LunarCataphract | Mar 26 2015, 10:00 PM Post #8 |
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Pretty much these ones. Edited by LunarCataphract, Mar 26 2015, 10:00 PM.
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| 栄 LibertyGear | Mar 26 2015, 10:01 PM Post #9 |
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Providing Fire Support
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I think i need to take a step here. Zen the problem with what you want to do is that it basically affects the posts of whoever you rp with. Yes you can argue that no one else is being affected, but that's not the point in the end. People would have to be douches to simply ignore some of the effects :P. Trust me i know what you wanted to do, and I did try to do the same, but in the end I resigned myself to make a passive just for it. Hell all the passive really does around Nolan is make things darker, doesn't even affect acc. But i digress. Point is, you need a tech for effect, your magic cannot have effects outside techs, it would be like having a lighting mage sparkle 24/7. Its cool and all, but not really what you should be looking to achieve in magic description. My advice, is forsake a few TP to make a passive, add something else to that passive that actually affects combat if you want, but make a passive non the less. On another note. Dice rolls can be a real pain to deal with since there are ways to go around it, are you sure you want to depend on those for your effects? Mind you im not saying you shouldnt, in fact i think its an awesome idea. I just feel that depending on them for stuff that affects your char in some major negative ways might not be as fun as you think. Then again, there would be some hilarious situations too. Its your call I just want you to be sure... but make it a tech. Edited by LibertyGear, Mar 26 2015, 10:07 PM.
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| Zen | Mar 26 2015, 10:07 PM Post #10 |
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Cantrips are a thing. If a lightning mage wanted to sparkle 24/7 he can totally do so. Anyway, asking me to spend TP on this is fucking stupid, and making it an actual tech with useful stuff will spawn a balancing shitstorm that I really can't be arsed to deal with. But it's FTG! Even if I were to make a tech that has my character literally incinerate himself there'll be screeches about it being overpowered and needing a nerf. Creativity is the capital sin of FTG, and these critiques prove it. I'll just remove it so we can all be happy with our samey, cookie-cutter magic that pleases the glorious mods in their quest for making all characters fucking boring. |
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