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| [Accepted] Jordan Corazón | |||||||||
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| Topic Started: Mar 9 2015, 09:40 AM (619 Views) | |||||||||
| Pyriz | Mar 9 2015, 09:40 AM Post #1 | ||||||||
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D-Class
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Account Name: Pyriz Profile Name: Jordan Corazón Age: 19 Gender: Male Height: 5'6" Weight: 150 lbs Guild: N/A Class: D Affiliation: Neutral Appearance Physical Description: Jordan appears as a young man with a slender muscular build and below average height. He has long black hair with a long segmented pony-tail that stretches down to his ankles and mischievous, red, ringed eyes. He's got very smooth, hairless, pale white skin. He often stands with his shoulders postured up and his head held high in a way that suggests he's looking down on people and considers himself to be their superior. His mischievous eyes are normally accompanied by a conceited, seemingly insulting smirk. Despite walking around barefoot most of the time, his feet remain surprisingly clean and soft. Clothing: Jordan often sports a rather peculiar, seemingly traditional attire. His outfit normally consists of an Indian chunnari around his neck with a small, short sleeved black choli which reveals his midriff under it. He wears an Indian leg dress, that stops at his ankles, with no shoes. When he does wear shoes, they're normally a simple pair of black, Indian style slip-on flats that curl upwards in the front. All of his clothing tends to be both dark-colored and gold-colored, reflecting his sadistic, conceited, self-absorbed personality. Extra: He wears golden bangled bracelets that extend from his elbows to his wrists and a golden bangled necklace with a ruby in the center. Picture: Jordan Personality: Jordan is a very cruel and cunning individual. He craves power more than anything else and shows great ambition in achieving his goals. He's willing to lie, cheat, steal, and kill without hesitation in order to obtain the things he desires. He often sees other people as inferior to himself and usually demonstrates a complete lack of empathy for others. It is still possible to earn his respect, however. He greatly admires those who possess incredible power and aspires to obtain similar power himself. He also has a somewhat sadistically whimsical side as well. He likes to tease others about their misfortune and play cruel, sometimes dangerous pranks on unsuspecting people for his own personal amusement. Jordan also has a very strong belief in fate, and as a result tends to be highly amoral. He normally has no interest in friendship, but isn't against working together in order to achieve his goals. Though he occasionally partners up with others, he is only ever acting out of his own self interest. He is, however, genuinely compassionate, caring, and sympathetic of his true companions well-beings. He enjoys fighting and stealing and thoroughly enjoys the adrenaline rush that accompanies it. He loves to fight and thoroughly enjoys testing his abilities against worthy opponents. After learning any new combat-related ability whether it's magic or physical techniques, he always craves to test it out against any sort of opponents he can find. He does also tend to be too overconfident at times, however, and sometimes finds himself biting off more than he can chew or making the mistake of taunting opponents during battle. History Weaponry/Equipment Name: Whip Class: D Description: Jordan's whip consists of a golden-colored handle of 8 inches long, and a lash composed of a braided thong that's 10 feet long. It's got an intricately braided leather grip covering the wooden handle. At the end of the lash is the "fall" and popper. The fall is a single piece of leather 10 inches in length. The fall is usually the portion of the whip used to cut, strike, or tie the target. The popper is the portion of the whip that makes the loud "cracking" sound. Effect/Function: Cuts, strikes, and entangles targets. Stats - 45 Strength: 8 Accuracy: 5 Stamina: 11 Speed: 6 Magic: 15 Earned Stat Points Earned: 0/0 Arc Points Earned: 0/0 Jewels Earned: 100,000/100,000 Sources Sources
Magic Magic Name: Eternal Gloom Magic Type: Elemental Manipulation - Darkness Tier of Magic: Starter Rank: 2 Magic Description: This magic allows the user to utilize very basic manipulations of the element of darkness. The user is capable of manipulating darkness in a weak way, such as moving it or altering it into various forms for attack or defense. However the manipulations afforded by this magic are not very powerful. The goal of this magic is to wreak havoc and cause chaos. His darkness magic represents the misery and turmoil Jordan cherishes so dearly, and is supposed to be a tool to assist him in causing as much of it as possible. Techniques: 2/2 Tendril - 2 Type: Supportive Range: 5 meters Duration: 1 post Effect: The user creates a black, shadowy tendril that extends from his body in any direction. It's capable of entangling targets and wrapping around them. It's not strong enough to completely restrain people, but it's useful for entangling someone's legs and tripping them, wrapping around their arms mid-strike in an attempt to slightly redirect attacks, etc. Anyone with a strength stat of 15 or higher can easily resist and break free from the tendril. In the future, this ability will be able to restrict people's movement entirely and be able to violently constrict their bodies. Cooldown: 3 posts Edited by Pyriz, Mar 9 2015, 03:17 PM.
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| 座 Fumus | Mar 9 2015, 12:56 PM Post #2 | ||||||||
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・。゜. ヘ(゜Д、゜)ノ
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MiT here. ・ While your Physical Description is acceptable as it is, note that detailing more than the minimum is always appreciated. ・ At the time of creation, you are allowed to have up to four free D-Class starting items, usually two, depending on what the items are. Though, if you don't want to start with any, then please replace the entire item template with a "N/A" until you acquire some. ・ For your magic description: It is short, but it's starter magic so it's okay. Still, your magic description won't be able to be changed later on once accepted (unless gaining dragon slayer, revamping, or harvesting). As such, it is highly suggested that you add more to your magic description, as it will determine what potential and kind of techniques you can make later on while you have it (even if the techs can only be simple in design). ・ Anything that a normal human can not accomplish will be considered needing a technique, and usually they are single actions (especially since you have starter magic). Your Tendril currently deals damage and restrains (even if just a bit). If you wish to keep the damage, then please follow this post for the severity of the damage (the damage can still be described while roleplaying, but the categories are there for the sake of uniformity across the board OOC). Rank 2 would cause Minor wounds, for example. However, if you wish instead to keep the restraining part, then you will need to include a minimum number of either strength or stamina (your choice) to semi-resist being restrained. At later ranks, you may then include a minimum number to fully resist as well as a number for semi-resist. At rank 2, I would suggest needing either a 15 strength or stamina (your choice) to semi-resist being restrained in any way. You may have damage or the restrain, not both. Your technique also needs a duration and cooldown. Techniques, as mentioned, are specific actions. Nearly all techniques are not passive, meaning they need a duration and a cooldown. This includes your Tendril technique as well.
Techniques that are meant to deal damage when cast usually have an Instant duration (since they're cast once on one post). Whatever the case, depending on what you want your Tendril to do will determine its duration and cooldown. At rank 2 however, note that the duration should be relatively low (perhaps instant or 1) while the cooldown would be relatively high (perhaps 3 or 4). Post in here once edits have been made or if you have queries. |
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| 栄 LibertyGear | Mar 9 2015, 01:15 PM Post #3 | ||||||||
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Providing Fire Support
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I was wondering how long it would take for someone to make a char with Judar from Magi as face-claim XD I would like to add a few things to what Fumus said 1 - You actually need add a little more detail to the Physical Description and Clothing, as they need to hit the minimum to reach approval (5 full lines to Physical Description, and 4 full lines to Clothing) 2 - Your history doesn't really fit Jordan's personality. Jordan was rescued and taken in by a kind poor old man, had barely anything to eat and what he did eat was usually half-eaten and rotten, yet he was still content and grew to love chaos? This sounds too much of a stretch, at least make it more clear as to why he turned out like this. As it is he pretty much sounds like someone who is most likely sick, just skin and bones, covered in mud, running around like a trained thief and an attitude. As to not change the core idea, I suggest that you say that he started stealing food, got stronger, and the fact that he never got caught began to develop his superiority complex. 3 - Like for the Physical Description and Clothing, magic description also needs a 5 full lines minimum to be approved. Edited by LibertyGear, Mar 9 2015, 01:16 PM.
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| Pyriz | Mar 9 2015, 03:20 PM Post #4 | ||||||||
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D-Class
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Edited.
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| 梟 Inara Serra | Mar 9 2015, 04:00 PM Post #5 | ||||||||
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Honesty without tact is cruelty.
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![]() Well done for a first character. ^.^ Good Luck. |
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| Levy-Chan | Mar 10 2015, 09:34 PM Post #6 | ||||||||
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You want Thingamabobs? I got 20.
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2/2 Please enjoy causing havoc and other Judar-like things. Your character application is now accepted and will be placed in the archived forum. This topic has now been resolved, so therefore its closed. This is an automatic message. |
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