Hey everyone, it's me, your Lord and Savior, your Once and Future King, and your new Admin-for-Life Unlimit Sendo. I'm here to drop some turnbuckle-diving elbows and awesome news. There's been some relatively small updates to rulings regarding summon familiars and single summons. Additionally, there's also been a pretty big update in regards to the AP shop which reorganizes it and adds a ton of new stuff. You can find that in the AP Shop section under Item Creation. Check it out.
*Raven sits in a chair in front of a fireplace in a mansion*
Ohhi- I didn't see you there old sport.
You know, I've been thinking. You heathens seem to be rather uneducated about the important intricacies of history.
*drinks some coke and jack* allow me to enlighten you
RAVENDARK'S GUIDE TO THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD
Hitler Invades Russia
GenericGuard#1: GLORIOUS LEADER! GLORIOUS LEADER! HITLER IS INVADING RUSSIA!
Stalin: Eh?
GenericGuard#1: THEY BETRAYED US AND ARE HEADING TOWARDS MOSCOW!
Stalin: In ze winter?
GenericGuard#1: Erm, yes sir- why is that so important?
Staling: Huehuehuehuehue
That Nostalgia Tho
Stalin: Oh- no reason in particular *NOSTALGIA'ING INTENSIFIES*
Stalin: Ok, send out our MLG Red Army to pimp slap those midgets.
GenericGuard#2: Uhhhhhhh, we don't have an army sir.
GenericGuard#1: You killed off all our officers in the Great Purges.
Stalin:............................
Quote:
Stalin: wat.
GenericGuard#1: OMG WE'RE GUNNA DIE, THOSE NOOBS FED GERMANY AND HE ALREADY HAS A PENTAKILL OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
Stalin: Get yer shit together shitbucket, we've got the ultimate weapon. Winter.
GenericGuard#2: But sir, they have tanks and planes and shit- I don't see how the snow can help us.
Stalin:... You fuckin plebs
MEANWHILE
Hitler: DON'T COME BACK UNTIL YOU'VE TAKEN OVER MOSCOW AND RUSSIA
NaziArmy: K
*Nazi's plow through russian countryside*
Nazis: LOLOLOLOLOL- ITS LIKE FARMING MINIONS FOR DAYS
Nazis: BUNCHA SCRUBS
Nazis: wait...Oh my god- whatisthisidon'teven
Stalin: WELCOME TO RUSSIAN WINTER
Quote:
Stalin: WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?
Nazis: OH MAH GAAAAAAAAAAAWD
Stalin: YOUR BODY BOUT TO BECOME COMMUNAL PROPERTY WHEN WE FUCK YA UP BUDDY
Nazis: Stalin pls
Stalin: GET DUNKED SCRUB
and thats how Russia beat the Nazis.
The Dutch Revolt, and its Rise and Fall
Spain: Hey Netherlands
Netherlands: Wat
Spain: Fak U
Netherlands: Spain pls
*Spain declares war on Netherlands as they try to go independent*
Netherlands: Da Fuk man
Spain: RESPECT MY AUTHORITY
France: YEAH RESPECT HIS AUTHORITY
Prussia: No fuk u plebs
Sweden: Bitch I'll fuk u up
Spain: I AM THE GREATEST WORLD POWER. I HAVE COLONIES IN SOUTH AMERICA, THE PACIFIC, INDIA, AND EVEN THE PHILLIPINES- I AM THE HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR AND AM A GOD TO U. WHAT DO CAN YOU POSSIBLY HAVE THAT CAN STOP ME?
Netherlands: Oh nothing really...
Spain: mhm
Netherlands: -Except money4days
Spain: Oh yeah? And whammy gonna do with dat?
Netherlands: huehuehuehuehuehuehue
Quote:
Netherlands: We're gonna build sum boats
Netherlands: lots a boats
Netherlands: SO MANY FUCKING BOATS THAT YALL BOUT TO GET REKT
Spain: WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH- SO MAAANNNNYYYYY BOOOOOAAAATTTSSSSSSSSSSSS
The Netherlands have slain Spain
The Netherlands have slain Portugal
The Netherlands have pimp slapped the South American Colonies
The Netherlands have sunken the Spanish Armada
Spain: Pls stahp
Quote:
Netherlands: Nope.jpg
The Netherlands have entered a Golden Age
The Netherlands Have Scored a Pentakill!
The Netherlands Are Unstoppable!
Netherlands: Ahhhhhhhh yes, I am the ruler of the sea.
Great Britain: OHHI DER I HERD U WERE MAKIN SUM BOATS
Netherlands: Yeh
Great Britain: PIP PIP CHEERIO! WELL SONNY IM AFRAID THAT PAIR OF FISHNCHIPS ARE STALE
Netherlands: Great Britain-senpai, y u do dis? We were the buds
Great Britain: ITS NOT ME! ITS THE TEA! IT SPEAKS TO ME IN MY SLEEP!
Quote:
Netherlands: Nuuuuuu
Great Britain has Shut Down the Netherlands
And thats the rise and fall of the Netherlands
A Concise History of Native American Relations with the West
A Shortened Version of Australian/New Zealand History
Great Britain: Well bugger, we lost America- now what are gonna do with all these convicts?
Dngland: Lads! I've got a brilliant idea! Let's send them all to some godforsaken rock in the middle of nowhere!
Scotland and Wales: I don't know- I feel like we're forgetting something...
England: COMON- ITS NOT LIKE THERES ALREADY ANYONE LIVING THERE OR ANYTHING?
Scotland and Wales: Yeah- but i mean, won't sending all our big and mean convicts over to Australia and New Zealand mean we'd be weaker at home?
Quote:
England: Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
England: Whatre they gunna do- throw koalas and kiwis at us?
Scotland and Wales: Yeah, you're right hahahahaha
An Accurate Portrayal of WWII
The Accumulation of Knowledge and Age of Reason in the 20'th Century
The American Revolution
Quote:
Colonies: Sit down scrubs, I'm about to lay down some freedom on you, along with some Durritos and Mountain Dew
British: Taxes
Colonies: Pls no taxes
British: Yes taxes
Colonies: Y U Boss?
British: Cuz u r lil bitch lol
Colonies: fuck u
*American Colonies have changed their relationship status with Great Britain from friends to fak u*
British: U scrbulords can't stand up to us lol
Colonies: Guess what we have though
British: wut
Colonies: Puuuuuuusssssssssssssy
British: I don't get it
Colonies: Of course you dont-
Quote:
British: u fuckin wanker
*War breaks out between Colonies and Britain due to this*
Colonies: K we need l337 mlg quickscoping master to halp us
GenericVoice1: How about Snoop Dogggg?
Colonies: No no, he hasn't been born yet
GenericVoice2: Shrek?
Colonies: don't have the copyrights
*Door breaks down and man flies in riding on the back of an egal, his majestic white hair flwoing int he wind and causing worldwide orgasms at his manly voice*
Quote:
GeorgeW: Surprise Mothafucka
Colonies: who r u
GeorgeW: i am george leder of faz3 clan
Colonies: sweet, help us pls
GeorgeW: k
Quote:
*The first few battles against the British are absolutley brutal losses for washington, the British crush him in New York and force him to flee, surrendering both it and Boston*
Washington: fak man
British: ITS THE TEA I TELL YOU! WE KILLED THE NETHERLANDS AND WE'LL KILL YOU NEXT YA FUCKIN WANKER
Washington: lol, u sed wanker
*Washington and the Continentals were forced back away into the countryside, in what is now today known as Valley Forge, the Continentals wheathered through a brutal winter characterized by sub-zero temperatures, mass disease, abundant hunger, and an overall all-time low in the war*
Soldiers: Giev us food
Washington: No u scrubs can't fight, no mountian dew 4 u
Soldiers: pls no
Washington: K, Imma help y'all out- but imma need some pro af help to boost y'all up to Challenger level.
Friedrich Wilhelm von Steuben: Sup scrubs
Washington: This gai from Prussia, he turn you into mlg quickscopers
Freidrich: fo shizzle mah grizzle
*Soldeirs train at Valley Forge, going from ragtag scrubs to ultra mlg military pros*
Washington: alright time to blaze and priase
Quote:
*Continentals strike a successful sneak attack on Trenton New Jersey, secretly crossing the Hudson river on Christmas Eve*
Washington: we gun fuk em up
Continentals: America fuk yeah
Washington: wazzat?
Continentals: America, fuck, yeah
Washington: huh.... I quite like the sound of that...
Quote:
*tide starts to turn in Washington's favor as he and other generals start taking back the stretched thin countryside and towns*
Washington: we do gud but we ned help
Congress: who we call
Washington: ghostbusters
Congress: fuk u
Washington: ayyyy lmao
Congress: well we got no navy, ned ships pl0x
Washington: k
Congress: who we gun get 4 help
Washington: hmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Quote:
Washington: FRance
Congress: dafuq, y, they weak af
Washington: but they got mimes
Congress: aaaaaaaaaaaaah- hard to argue with that one
*France joins the war ont he side of the Colonies, led by General Lafayette their Navy was crucial to winning the war since the rebels had none*
Lafayette: k, we got dis
Washington: k
Continentals: k
Colonies: k
Quote:
*The war ended shortly after*
Congress: k we free n shit nao wut
Washington: we gotta make some dope papers
Congress: ayyy
Washington: ayyyyy
Continentals: ayyy
America: LMAO
Quote:
*Washington was made presidnt because he was the ultimate mlg 420 holla holla blaze it bob snoop dogg sanic ogrelord crumpet-crunching pimp smacking guy in the colonies*
and thats the American War of Revolution
A Few Words Regarding the Periodization of History and Revolutions
Historical periods are second nature to most people. Terms like ‘The Renaissance’, ‘The Cold War’, or ‘The Middle Ages’ are commonplace. When inserting the idea of revolutions into periods, such as the French Revolution, it would be popular to say that the ancien regime ended on a definitive date once the revolution occurred . However, revolutions are more than just events, they are discrete periods which fill a temporal void separating one period from another. In the periodization of history, revolutions play an ambiguous role. Other times, they are useful in that they signal a transition from one era to another. I believe they are the caesuras of history, signaling transitions from one period to the next. To support this, I will call upon the French Revolution and interpret its implications and long-term effects on historiography as well as of revolutions in general.
Before we can properly address revolution’s usefulness in periodizing history, the preliminary steps of defining the key terms are required. The Collins English Dictionary defines periodization as ‘the act or process of dividing history into periods’ . However for the sake of this essay and my argument a further definition is required. Seeing as how revolutions are periods of transition, the word ‘caesura’ would best describe these breaks and pauses. By definition, a caesura is ‘any break, pause, or interruption’ . Walter Benjamin, a German philosopher and cultural critic, noted the role of revolutions as transitional periods by using the analogy that humanity was reaching for the emergency brake as it escalated forwards . Similar to Marxist thoughts on humanity’s imminent path towards Socialism, all periodization is founded on disciplined concepts of continuity and change. Historical periods must be distinguished by important long-term continuities . Furthermore, it must be understood that other historiographical camps outside of the Western mindset view periods and periodization differently, a caesura in time may seem like merely part of a larger narrative to others such as a postmodernist historian .
The definition of revolution is ‘the overthrowing of an existing system or set of ideas by the people governed and the organization of a new system’ . The French Revolution can be seen as the first true modern revolution. It is often seen as the defining moment that opened up the late modern era. Despite completely overhauling the political, cultural, and societal structure of France, what made the French Revolution so utterly transformative was not its abolition of the ancien regime but its changing of the legitimization of power. Rather than just simply exchanging one regime for another, the Declaration of the Rights of Man and Citizen secularized and derived the power of the French government from the people themselves instead of deriving it from God . This is a new and significant recurring theme. For example, when the Russian and Chinese revolutions occurred, the leadership reorganized the basis from which they derived their authority rather than simply proclaiming it as previous regimes had. The Chartist movement in England and the revolutions of 1848 took inspiration from the French revolution, and thus in this respect it does seem both useful and appropriate to place the French Revolution as the origin of these changing epochs and the ones following it as its offspring . The Revolution had sprouted from a rational spirit that recognized it could project its subjective senses of freedom into the external and objective world of society and politics . In these senses, The Revolution was a product of the Enlightenment; its ideals clashing against the traditional ancien regime. The French Revolution can thus be seen as the transitional period from not just one mode of politic into another, but from one mode of thought to another. The secularization of France as noted in the Declaration of Rights of Man and Citizen, is both a byproduct and symptom of this .
Functioning as a caesura, the French Revolution was a critical, important and distinctive transition, marking the end of the early modern period and the beginning of the late modern period. Even more striking is how a revolution, which functions as a period of transition, can have sub-periods within itself. For example, the French Revolution had sub-periods including the reigns of the Constitutional Assembly, Legislative Assembly, etc. Furthermore, the French Revolution can be defined as a caesura because there are no finite dates marking the beginning and end of the congruent periods. Instead, the French Revolution acted as an obstruction which was used more to separate two periods than a sealant to bind them together and perfectly connect them.
If there had been no French Revolution, there would have been no Marxism . The materialistic 19th and 20th centuries associated capitalism with the rise of modernity. This was a trend that was accepted by most historiographical thinkers of that time and thus played a part in the way periods were developed and popularized . In these respects, The French Revolution and subsequent movements, such as the Chartist movement or 1848 revolution can be seen as symptoms of an expanding middle class and growing acceptance of capitalism. Socio-economically speaking, the French Revolution was the foundation of the modern period; the ‘intermission’ which separated the ancien regime from the modern period. Marx interpreted this intermission differently. He concluded that history simply transitioned from epoch to epoch, based on purely economic concerns, making it a predictable and dialectical procedure with no room for accident or chance . Perhaps the most glaring difference in Marxist and other historical thinking is its manner of periodization: Marx is systematic while popular historical periodization is episodic . This highlights a dilemma faced by historiographers -- the different views and interpretations which a party or group can view periodization in itself. A revolution can seemingly be either the definitive mark at which one period ended and another begins, or simply as a symptom of an already tangible malaise.
As we dig deeper, we find Igor Diakanoff, a Marxist historian who lays out eight phases of historical process which serve as an alternative to the path set by Western historical thought and details the minutiae which Marx himself alludes to in the ‘Communist Manifesto’ . Marxist thought sees revolutions or violent upheavals as the crucial keys that signal the change from one epoch to the next. However, this is not truly the case. There was no violent upheaval which signaled the transition from prehistory into antiquity, nor medieval into early modern. With these respects, revolution and periodization very much seem to be products of the late modern period . Diaknoff argues:
"One Phase is divided from the next without distinctive threshold, certainly not by a revolutionary upheaval, but by a transitional period of different duration, which continues until all the necessary symptoms diagnostic of the next Phase are developed. This period between phases we shall call Phase transition. "
Any construct created by dividing time into finite periods is artificial, even in the midst of upheavals and utter destruction there is no true break with the past . In the sweeping changes brought about by the French Revolution, much of common and societal life remained the same; there was still debt and poverty as well as those who still fought against the revolution for the ancien regime inside France. With the above thoughts in mind, revolutions act more as periods of transition or caesuras than the sudden and instantaneous actions which they are made out to be. The process can be ignited quickly but is still a ‘break’ or ‘pause’ in the flow of history.
Ideas such as these can be found in the writings of past Carolingian writers and early Christian historians, yet even then the notion of periodization was a subject, which varied in the eye of the beholder . Johann Christoph Gatterer, a German historian and early contributor to the theory of ‘universal history’, laid out his own historiography as early as the mid 1700’s, analyzing and addressing four great epochs in the history of the world which led up to the discovery of America . Before the onset of major revolutions, there were still chronologies being made of past events and periods. The example above alludes to the notion of revolutions being caesuras in time, accentuating transition from one period to another rather than fully dominating it:
"Individual landmark events acquire their significance, establish their quasi-biblical status as portents, because they are seen in retrospect to conform with the underlying historical geology: thus the concept of significance is related to the conundrum of a long time in history."
Retrospectively, as an audience looking back from the twenty-first century, The French Revolution or any revolution may seem as critical or pivotal in the formation of history and the periods that encompass it. This can sometimes serve more as a hindrance than an aid. Periodization may forgo the intricacies lying within them in favor of generalizations and long-term analysis . Revolutions thus, can serve as a double-edged sword. While they function as caesuras and breaks in history, they can be easily mistaken in the Western world as all-encompassing and as finite dates for the beginning and ends of periods. Rather, perhaps we should view the data and events within revolutions to better understand their role as caesura periods and not instantaneous shifts from one epoch to the next. Revolutions and periodization in general create somewhat of a paradox. They function as ways of dividing and categorizing history, yet are still regarded with trepidation and disdain. David Perkins explains this paradox: We require the concept of a unified period in order to deny it, and thus make apparent the particularity, local difference, heterogeneity, fluctuation, discontinuity, and strife that are now our preferred categories for understanding any moment of the past
In the periodization of history, revolutions are the caesuras that fill the temporal gap between one period and the next. They do not function so much as finite dates, but act more as periods in themselves, recording how the previous regime and order was transformed into the next. In these respects, revolutions play a role in Western perceptions of periodization. Yet it is critical to look past artificial constructs of historical thought like periods and delve deeper into the data to bring new theories and ideas to light, ‘[letting] periodization emerge from the data rather than be imposed on it’ . History is constructed from facts and events, but the way in which it is organized is constantly in flux. It is first necessary to realize that constructs such as periods are artificial. Once acknowledging this, a new way of viewing a previously accepted topic can be opened up and looked at with a different perspective and angle .
Italian and French Military History
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A Short Discussion on Early Cinema in the late 1800's
Knights in the Middle Ages
The Hundred Years War
France: omg England is invading n shit wut do we do?
England: comin' for da booty
France: omg
Quote:
England: we r professionul
*France promptly gets its shit kicked in for roughly the next 50 years*
England: Haha
France: fak u
Black Death: sup bitches
England: dafuq?
Black Death: y'all are motha fuckas
France: pshhh yer shit scrub
Quote:
Black Death: u wut m8?
*Black Death leaves, England starts invading France again*
France: omg wut do
Joan of Arc: Ayy lmao, god told me to fuk dem english bishes up
England: but u r girl
Quote:
Joan: fak u bish
*Joan knocks England da fuk out*
England: fak
Joan: yer tears are delicious
Quote:
*The french rally behind Joan and finally use their numbers to kick the english out of France for good*
Joan and France: lolooloolol
*English capture joan*
England: ayyy lmao
Quote:
Joan: rip *dies*
France: Joan we shul nevur ferget yer sacrafice
Quote:
England: lololololo
Da End
NOW PRESENTING, 'OUR AMAZING PLANET' hosted by RAVE.N.DARK and sponsored by the BBC
An in-depth view at the animal kingdom across the globe
The Wild Plains of Africa
The Azure Planet
The Platypus, Nature's Enigma (feat. Inara, the Mystical Owl of Wisdom
The Nazi invasion of the Russia was the best out of all of these. Thank you for sharing this bundle of laughs with me Sally. It was more fun than a barrel of monkeys and those things are pretty damn fun.
For some reason, I like the idea of America hitting Japan so hard as to have cause some sort of... damage.
Like, as far as the sentient nations are concerned, that was a concussion resulting in brain damage. Although... that being said, I don't like the idea of anime being the result of someone with brain damage... and this person is KINDA implying it... meaning they might have strong anti-anime views... This is suddenly quite saddening to me, if true, but...