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[Graded]Troll Trouble [D Rank]; Alexis and Rakir
Topic Started: Feb 16 2014, 07:48 AM (1,387 Views)
Fafnir Rakesh
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Sarcasm. Because beating the shit out of people is illegal.

The sun was high in the sky, birds chattered and swooped through the pristine skies and the happy hubbub of the crowds created the perfect atmosphere in the small settlement of Tully Village that lay left of center from the heart of Fiore. As he traversed the main street of the small town, he drew out a small piece of paper that had a few hastily scrawled words written on it: Sun Crest Avenue, Black Ilk, 2:00pm. Those five words and single time were the reason he was here in this backwater village, he was on assignment and for the first time in his life, he was going to be working not with a mage, but with a knight instead.

As he politely made way for merchants carrying heavy burdens and children playing ball games, he certainly wouldn't have been pegged as a mage on a mission. Checking the time with a passing towns person, he was informed that it was 1:45pm. Fifteen minutes until the designated meeting time... It had been made abundantly clear that if he was even a minute late, then he'd be shit out of luck so he quickened his step as he headed for Sun Crest Avenue. He found the juncture he needed 8 minutes later, at 1:53 pm and turned down the slightly narrower, less populated street. The further he went though, the more the crowds thinned and the more dilapidated the surrounding buildings and even the road beneath his feet became.

at 1:58pm he was indeed standing in front of an establishment known as the Black Ilk... but something was wrong. For below the heavy oak sign that bore the name was a nothing but the burnt out husk of a building. In his travels Rakir had learned many things and one of those things was how to differentiate between a shady place that wanted people to think it was abandoned and decrepit and those places that actually were abandoned and decrepit and to Rakir's disappointment, the building before him fell squarely into the latter category. Most of the front side of the building had crumbled away entirely whilst everything else was blackened and charred. From the light that filtered in through the wounded building, Rakir could see destroyed furniture and dust that was thick enough that someone could probably drown in it if they fell flat on their face and didn't get up.

Whoever had designated this as the meeting place for Rakir and his soon to be partner, they either wanted to make damn sure that they wouldn't be tempted to go in for a drink or bite to eat, or they hadn't been here in so long that they didn't know that the Black Ilk was no longer in use. Whatever the case may be, all Rakir could do now was stand out front and wait until someone knightly appeared. or at least, Rakir assumed that knights all strutted around in shining, well polished armor. In truth, his travels had all too rarely brought him in contact with them or their order.
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Levy-Chan
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You want Thingamabobs? I got 20.
Alexis walked into this new village that was evidently an over sized senior home. This whole place might as well have been made for the express purpose to herd up all the old people in Fiore and let them live off the rest of their rather smelly lives alone, separated from the rest of the world. It was a strange place indeed that she would be sent out on this assignment, but it wasn't like she had much of a choice in the matter. It was basically a coin toss between this and some problem going on in Glacial Flats to the far north. This place may have been a giant retirement village, but it was still a ways bit better than frozen wastelands that features whistling winds in the negatives and barren terrain as its only real points of mention. Alexis wasn't a fan of the cold, but could put up with it without much of a hassle, but icy tundras were something different all together. If she was going to go that far out there, Alexis would want to be layered in much thicker clothing than she had already.

In addition to the new village Alexis was walking through, another new bit for her was working with someone that wasn't Red. Her previous assignments also had the accompaniment of Ashton "Red" Carmine, a very sweet guy with a rather crazy good-looking alter ego that only came out when he was dressed up and glammed out. Alexis dubbed this Red "Fashin-o the Magnificent" as this persona, while very similar to his normal one, had the ability to make women swoon and surrender information at a whim. Alexis suspected that she was working with another mage, as it would have made more sense if for them to have just come here together, so the knight kept her eyes open for someone who wasn't a bazillion years old and was dressed in a mage-like fashion... whatever that meant. For all the mages that Alexis had meant, and really knights as well, neither of them dressed in your typical idea of what they would. Sure some knights would boast suits of shiny metal armor and swords, but it was far more common to see one of them run around in plainer clothing. The same went for mages who you would think would be dressed in flowing robes or the like, but in reality they can be as varying as you could imagine. Anything from plain clothing to armor to strange outfits were all that Alexis had seen in her travels and none of them were alike.

Further into town Alexis came upon the meeting place that was, somehow, agreed upon in advance. What was left of the large oak sign, not that there was a lot of it left, told Alexis that this place was the Black Ilk. It looked to almost be some kind of victim of a natural disaster. Some rampaging fire took hold of this place and burnt it to be nothing more than a husk. Light that came in through open windows and doors danced against the dust hovering in the air inside. This was probably some kind of restaurant that could have been something of a popular place to eat and hangout, but it was now desolate. Alexis had to wonder if meeting was arranged here with this in mind. More often than not two partners would grab a bite to eat before heading out if only for the purpose of getting to know one another, on an entry level. Maybe this was done on purpose so that they would get right to the mission itself, but that just seemed to be a pretty loose theory. After examining this building for a bit, Alexis noticed that someone was also there in front of it! This man seemed to be one of those dark-and-edgy types that probably grew their hair out long in middle school and worse platform black boots with matching trench coat. Regardless, Alexis would try to put that aside so that they could get along, hopefully, better during this assignment. "Hi there! I'm supposed to be meeting someone here for an assignment. Would you be that person?" Speaking with a friendly tone, Alexis made sure to keep her smile sweet and her posture perfect.
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Fafnir Rakesh
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Sarcasm. Because beating the shit out of people is illegal.

Rakir hadn't been standing around for every long when someone addressed him- or at least he thought they were addressing him as he turned to find himself face to face- or close enough to it once he tilted his head down slightly to look the speaker in the eye- with a scarlet haired woman, or perhaps girl was the more appropriate term as she looked to be on a little on the lower side of twenty one- which was all the more pronounced when you considered that literally everyone else in the town was three times his age- at the very least. "Ah, yes I believe it would", Ranth replied as he turned his body to face her rather than just his head now that he was certain that a) the woman had been talking to him and b) she was obviously his partner for this particular mission.

In the brief interlude between his last words and his next ones, Rakir took a moment to take in his partners appearance. She was slim with unblemished skin- at least in the places he could see- with a lightly toned look to it that could have been one of the many lotions girls used to achieve that outdoorsy look, or because she really was the outdoorsy type. After spending so much time with Mihairi, one of the things he was quietly ashamed of noticing was that her 'chest' was rather a lot smaller- or perhaps 'normal' was the more appropriate term when comparing Mihairi's melons to that of just about any other female. Breasts aside, it was plain to see that she was fit- not that he expected a knight to be anything otherwise- and wore far more plain clothes than he'd expected.

Although first impressions were often fraught with perils, Rakir got the vibe that this woman was quite friendly, which was a relief because even though he'd improved a little in the woman department after his adventures with Mihairi, he was still terribly lacking when all was said and done, so if they could get along well from the very beginning then his life would be made so much easier. "My name is Rakir Ryute and I'm from Lamia Scale", he said by way of introduction and- unsure of what the proper protocol was for greeting a knight, much less a female one- let his hand hover uncertainly between a handshake and a salute.
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Levy-Chan
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You want Thingamabobs? I got 20.
Alexis was thrilled to meet this man who would be her partner on this mission. From his outward appearance he seemed to be rather dark and so the knight hadn't really expected any kind of response from the boy, but his politeness did not go unnoticed that was for sure. "Ah, my name is Alexis Day and I am currently a Private in the Knights of Fiore." she spoke as she always did when introducing herself, by giving out a full title of her position. Alexis held so much respect for it that it would be a shame, to her, if she did not properly say every part, which for her consisted of her whole name, ranking, and what part of the military she was in. While normally this would have been the part the knight would have gone out for her own handshake, the woman could notice that Rakir had his hand kind of half way out. Seizing the opportunity, Alexis grabbed it with both her hands and eagerly shook it. Enthusiasm was in abundance with this woman as her smile was still going and her attempt to practically ooze friendliness was working full throttle.

"Alright, now that we've met, I think that we should review why we're here." Alexis spoke to Rakir as she retracted her hands, taking out a small piece of paper to read. "According to this there is some kind of troll on the edge of this village terrorizing people. Nothing too severe like violent beatings or murders or anything like that, but he is certainly causing an inconvenience to the elderly here. His riddles are quote 'too darn infuriating' and 'so stupid because no one thinks like that' with even more comments of 'where is my cat' though the last comment is under question." After reading it aloud and to herself once more just to make sure she wasn't missing anything, Alexis shrugged to herself and was figuring this to be a pretty easy assignment. From the report it didn't seem like the troll had any further intentions aside from being a minor annoyance. Maybe he was just pretty weak and so beating people with a tree stump or something was just too hard for him, so he decided to work the old shtick of hiding under bridges and what not.

"Ah, well this doesn't seem to be too hard. Evidently we just need to find this troll and get him to get out. I assume that means we can use force, but I'd hate to do that unless I have to." Alexis spoke as she put the paper away, trying to explain to Rakir that she'd like to get this over with as little force as possible. The troll may be annoying and harassing the people, but it hadn't really hurt them, it was simply trying to play "fun" thinking games if you really looked at it. At worse if the people couldn't get the riddle right a small fee was collected and they could go through. Well they would probably have to recollect the money and return it back to the proper owners since the troll did basically get it through illegal tolls, something that wasn't permitted. "Besides, it can't be too hard or anything, we both have young and healthy minds to solve whatever riddles he could throw at them." Alexis spoke with confidence to Rakir, but even she knew that puzzles weren't her forte. She could solve simple ones and even rather unique difficult ones, but for the most part riddles and the like would stump her.
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Fafnir Rakesh
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Sarcasm. Because beating the shit out of people is illegal.

Rakir was rather both surprised and a little embarrassed when Alexis' seized his hand with two of her own and shook it vigorously. he couldn't help but notice that although her grip was firm- as befitted a knight of any rank- her skin was also incredibly soft and it was this realisation that caused his ears to suddenly begin to feel warm. In the past he would likely have recoiled from the woman's touch, but instead he did his best to smile back at the incredibly enthusiastic woman and it was possibly one of the top ten biggest reliefs the year so far when she released his hand- not because he didn't like her, how could anybody dislike someone who was so outwardly friendly and smiled so brightly?- It was just that he was... well... bad with woman.

With conversation turning to the reason they'd been brought together here in the first place, Rakir finally got hold of himself as Alexis summarised the briefing he'd read prior to coming here. That in itself as actually a minor miracle for him- the last two missions he'd been tasked with had turned out to be nothing at all like he'd expected, so even if they had to face down a troll, at least he'd be prepared for it ahead of time. "There are plenty of stories of Trolls taking up residence under bridges and other similar crossroads, but there hasn't been a troll sighting within Fiore in my lifetime as far as I'm aware. I'm actually quite curious to know what brought this one down from the mountains where they usually reside. of course, Rakir was concerned about the safety of the people the Troll was inconveniencing- especially when justs eeing the ugly face of a troll could be enough to send one of the village's occupants into cardiac arrest.

Rakir's scholarly nature shining through for a moment with that thoughtful remark, he put tapped his chin with his left hand thoughtfully as he considered Alexis's opinions and the best course of action available to them. "If it's just answering riddles then I'm sure we'll be fine", Rakir nodded with certainty confidence that matched Alexis's. "But I'm not sure if it'll be so straight forward..." he trailed off ponderously before looking back to Alexis. "But first things first, lets go meet this troll before we decide anything for certain". His interest well and truly piqued, Rakir led the way out of the village and towards the area where this troll was said to reside.
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Levy-Chan
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You want Thingamabobs? I got 20.
Alexis followed Rakir a ways towards the edge of the village. She was a bit concerned about his apparent concern towards why the troll was here instead of simply removing it for the sake of the villagers. At the very least it was nice to see that he wasn't so bloodthirsty to insist on fighting the troll off the land. Besides if they could beat it at it's own game then that would more likely keep it away. If they simply used their big stick tactics to get it away from the village then as soon as they left the troll would surely return with a much more violent temper in response. It was actually rather nice to have to solve this utilizing some ingenuity and creative thinking. The last couple of missions Alexis had been on were similar to this surprisingly enough, all of them involving some kind of mystery that needed to be solved. True Red's detective personality helped quite a bit, but Alexis was rather observant as well and through their combined efforts were able to meddle in enough cases to solve them.

As the two of them walked further along, Alexis saw one of the bridges connecting the village to a more major path. Alexis hadn't crossed this one when she entered as she was coming from a different direction, but she could see that it was very similar to the one she had crossed. It was a simple wooden bridge, not even very decorative, but still kept in good condition. The wood was sturdy and stained a dark brown color. It was designed in a simple arch shape, crossing over a large, but dry, riverbed at the bottom. Equally spaced bars held up the hand rail that was no doubt used to escort the elderly residents across. Other than the dip down where the bridge crossed over, the landscape was fairly flat so it was easy to see off in any direction. Hopefully that would mean that they weren't going to be set up for some massive troll plot where they're ambushed by a battalion of trolls and have to beat them down with their bare hands.

Approaching the bridge now, they were at the very beginning of it. Alexis had taken a peak around the side of the bridge, checking out under it for any signs of the troll, but nothing seemed to be there. "Huh, I wonder if the troll is actually here. Aren't they supposed to be hidden under the bridge?" Alexis asked Rakir a bit confused, but was unsure if anyone really knew the answer. She continued to walk forward on the bridge, on edge in case some magical troll was going to drop down from the sky for his appearance. Instead what happened was a bit different. As they crossed the duo would get to about the peak of the arched bridge before they would see a large green hand grip the right side. Pulling itself over the edge, they would see a troll appear. Green skinned and rather large in all aspects of its body, the creature wore simple leathers for clothing. It was at least two feet taller than Rakir, though it was possible that he could be even three or four! Quite a massive creature to just appear, and just after Alexis had cleared the area beneath the bridge as well. "Stop before me you humans. If you wish to cross you must answer my riddles! Be warned though, each is said to be so unsolvable the sphinxes themselves surrendered to me." The giant spoke it a low, but loud voice that echoed well. Alexis managed to follow him up until the last bit, confused about what a sphinx even was? Perhaps it was some kind of plant?
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Fafnir Rakesh
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Sarcasm. Because beating the shit out of people is illegal.

The journey from the village to the area where the troll was said to reside was as quick as it was uneventful, but what else could you expect from a village populated by the elderly of Fiore? There were no delinquents to run amok, no drunken shenanigans and Rakir would have wagered that the only time anyone rose their voice was during the most heated moments of the weekly bingo tournament. Rakir had often wondered if trolls really did live under bridges like the tales said and as they approached the simple stone bridge that arched over a shallow stream that could once have been a coursing river in its heyday, but those days- much like the ruined building where he'd met Alexis- were long since past and now the need for the bridge was a subject of serious debate.

But sure enough, as they began to cross the bridge, a faint growl could be heard followed by the sight of a large hairy green hand reaching up over the edge of the bridge. This hand was soon followed by another and then the fingers with their filthy nails flexed and a face appeared followed by a rather hideous creature. A creature known to any who would lay eyes on it as a troll. yet despite its rather unfortunate appearance and obvious disdain for any sort of personal hygiene, it soon demonstrated a rather keen proficiency with the common tongue as it challenged them to answer its riddle whilst simultaneously boasting at the same time.

"I'd love to hear your riddle, but we'd like to ask you a question first...", Rakir began to say, but the troll quickly interrupted him with a rumbling laugh. "I will answer your question IF you can solve my riddle!" it boomed and without waiting for either Rakir or Alexis to respond, it launched straight into the first of many riddles to come. "What can run but never walks, has a mouth but never talks, has a head but never weeps, has a bed but never sleeps?" upon finishing the riddle, the troll folded its great big hairy arms across its chest and waited smugly for one of them to have a guess.
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Levy-Chan
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You want Thingamabobs? I got 20.
Alexis could see that this troll could cause some pretty serious terrors for the elderly living within the village. Alexis had seen more than her fair share of uggo creatures on her travels, so something like this ogre wasn't much to her but to typical civilians this monster could be quite intimidating with his appearance. Not to mention that he had quite the case of gingivitis, or some awful dental disease that would cause the essence of death itself to leak out of its open mouth. Alexis had to cover her nose in order to remain any kind of conscious during this conversation. Not so surprisingly the troll wouldn't listen to anyone or anything until his own riddle was solved first. Since they were more or less guests, Alexis could have argued that they should get preferential treatment, but she doubted a troll would know much about hosting manners anyway.

Thankfully his riddle which "could stump sphinxes" was surprisingly simple to Alexis. It was one of the wordy ones that her friends would pull on her to annoy her. Alexis thought it had something to do with a car the first time she had heard it, but upon explanation it became oh so obvious that it instead had everything to do with bodies of water! More specifically the kind of water that they were basically standing over at this very moment! "Ha, you think you're so clever with your tricky word play, but your riddles aren't so fresh and have been told to death." Alexis spoke to the troll with much confidence, perhaps tones of arrogance and pride since she was actually more than a little surprised that she could answer some of these on her own. "The answer to 'what runs, but never walks, has a mouth but never talks, has a head but never weeps, has a bed but never sleeps' is quite funny when you think about it." It was here that the knight paused for moment to let the dramatic pause sink in before unveiling the answer all along! "The answer is a river! A river 'runs' but does not walk, it goes into the mouth, but doesn't actually talk. The river has a head where it starts and then the bed at its bottom. A clever use of words on your part, I suppose, but anyone older than seven, no five, could easily answer this." Alexis answered with her arms crossed, full sass directed towards the troll and his over confidence.

Standing there a bit stupefied, the troll wasn't sure how to respond it seemed. A confused expression on his face in reaction to Alexis' overwhelming confidence towards his riddle. Once he recovered from the onslaught of sassafras the young knight wielded at her disposal, his trademark smile came back as ugly as ever. "Very well. This young lass has been rather crass, but the riddle is answered and rather fast. The question you want answered, the answer you seek, I shall give it to thee. Only one question though, for my riddles are plentiful and you'd need to do more before you can speak to me." The troll spoke, giving out some very clear (?) guidelines on how communication was going to happen between the three of them. No one would get their answers unless his riddles were answered. It must be rather painful to be so unwanted anywhere else, that no one wanted to talk to you. So sad an existence where this troll had to plague old people at this bridge with riddles just to get a conversation going. How pitiful. "Anyway, what were you going to ask Rakir?" Alexis prompted Rakir to ask his question, it wasn't as if she could simply read his mind and ask it instead.
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Fafnir Rakesh
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Sarcasm. Because beating the shit out of people is illegal.

Rakir had to disguise his wince at Alexis's rather... enthusiastic rhyme as she triumphantly solved the riddle and wanted the whole world to know it. With her bubble nature and high spirits it was almost adorable to witness if only it wasn't quite so cringe-worthy. nevertheless, Rakir didn't have the heart to say anything to his new friend and so elected to suffer in silence as she explained her reasoning behind the answer to the riddle to the troll, who Rakir expected to look shocked or perhaps disappointed that hsi riddle had been solved so easily, but quite to the contrary, the troll instead gave them a big -partially toothless- grin and let out another rumbling laugh.

"Excellent, excellent! Finally, someone who might I might be able to match wits with! The wrinkly folk from the village yonder are no sport to the likes of me!" it declared and it cracked its knuckles as though this was a contest of brawn rather than brains, but Rakir supposed he could appreciate the sentiment under the circumstances. But now Rakir realised that for every question they asked, they'd be required to solve another of the trolls riddles. A tedious task to be sure, but hopefully they'd all be as easy as that last one.

"Why aren't you letting people cross this bridge?" Rakir asked as Alexis bade him to give voice to his earlier question. However, the trolls response served as a lesson that his questions would need to be far more specific if he wanted the kind sof answers that would help them get to the bottom of this problem. "Because they can't answer my riddles of course! Now if you wish to ask another question, then here is the next riddle you must solve!" The troll declared gleefully before going on to recite his next riddle. "This thing belongs to you, but others sue it more than you do. What is it?" There was a devious twinkle in the trolls eyes, as it seemed to think that this riddle would be more likely to stump his challengers than the one before it.
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Levy-Chan
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You want Thingamabobs? I got 20.
The troll was rather pleased to have had his riddle answered so quickly, not that it was very difficult. If these were the kinds of puzzles that stumped the elderly Alexis had to wonder how they functioned on a day to day basis or even do anything worth mentioning. Most likely that was the reason for them to be shipped off here in this reclusive village that hardly had a disturbance except perhaps this one time. Actually if you considered it there were several ways into this village, and since they could come and go from various points, it was a bit strange that none of the other elderly people left from the other points, or perhaps they had and even then the troll was still causing incredibly significant problems. Well that was all mostly irrelevant as the elderly were none for their lack of traveling and more sedentary life style, not to mention the fact this assignment most likely came out from rampant complaints coming from the elderly. Rather than the troll really causing problems, it was more likely to Alexis that the elderly just openly complained, very loudly and consistently, to some Fiorean official which got this put on the assignment listings. Either way they were here now and they might as well get rid of the guy.

Alexis wasn't quite sure what she expected the Troll's response to be, but she- and certainly Rakir- had been hoping for something a bit more than what they got. His response was incredibly literal and to the point, annoying but not surprising. Alexis had been taught that Trolls were remarkably unintelligent creatures that took much pride and delight in their own 'intelligence' by simply remembering things that we would consider common knowledge. Additionally, due to the lack of brain power it was very difficult- nay impossible- for them to understand facetious tones and irony. Alexis wanted to interject after his answer and represent the question with a proper explanation to get the point across to the Troll, but it was too late for that. Evidently when he said one question per riddle answer he was very serious about it. Alexis sighed and supposed that their question had been answered, if only a bit too simply, and so they would have to answer correctly again before they could ask another question. If the rest of his riddles were actually as simple as the first then it would be no problem, just rather time consuming.

Somehow the knight managed to not immediately blurt out the answer to his next riddle. This was only accomplish-able by her own stunned expression. The riddle was so confusingly simple that Alexis was shocked that it was even asked. It was the kind of thing you would expect one kid in primary school to say to another as a crude attempt at humor or the like. It was certainly not the kind of thing that would really warrant being considered a riddle, but nonetheless the Troll had used it and he only got to ask one at a time. "This is pretty obvious, frankly. The one thing that is and will always be yours is your own name. However no matter how much of yours it is, those around you will use it far more than you yourself will." Alexis' answer held a lot less enthusiasm than before, most likely because the illusion that this Troll would be using difficult riddles was broken and in its place was this ugly abomination of kiddy jokes instead.
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