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[Deleted] Eula Sinclair; Into the Mind of Darkness
Topic Started: Feb 4 2012, 11:06 AM (1,654 Views)
Levvins
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*squishes fumloon*
Cloud
Feb 29 2012, 08:26 AM
- Minor thing, staff are idiots when they approve character. To be overwhelmingly blunt, please put (Dark) after Neutral Evil. (Otherwise 80% chance you'll be approved in Neutral characters.)
- I don't really like you having such a large skills and disciplines section, but, some of them quite narrow I suppose. Just a general reminder that everything you do is still going to be based on your stats. Also, one in particular;
Knowledge of Magic:
You can't use this to ever figure out another characters magic unless they give you permission to do so.
- I strongly dislike the usage of rules information in the magic description, instead of next to every technique (every technique should be able to stand on its own, without the help of any other technique or magic description, meaning I should know what it looks like and how it works without reading the magic descriptions), specifically, this, "or utilizing any magic-negating shield of higher magic rank (rank of technique + 1) than the caster of The Basis of Humanity." So...this means equal rank mages are powerless against you, even rank 10 mages once with is rank 10? That's...well, slightly problematic, when in general a shield will stop at least 1 equal rank attack.

Nightmare:
- Is the replay amount per post of the duration, or is that the total amount of time?

Spectre:
- You should probably mention these effects are too people of average stamina, before you explode a GM.
- Bruises are the result of internal injury.
- For rank 9, "think final-stage cancer" some cancers are painless or are so mild in pain they're not noticed until the person is about to drop dead.
- Same again, this has a duration, so, is the pain inflicted upon them over the duration then? Also...damage techniques are generally instantaneous, as, a duration implies the damage will ALSO disappear after the duration. In either case, clear this up.
1) Edited.
2) Edited, though edits might need further inspection.

Nightmare:
1) Total amount of times per the duration listed.

Spectre:
1) Edited.
2) Removed Bruises.
3) Changed to ">200 blood pressure and major nerve damage", though I might need help on the clarification if it's too... *cough*
4) Edited - Please refer to quote below for edit.
Quote:
 
Even though the damage cast is instantaneous, the damage cast will disappear after the duration listed.
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Aysia
A-Class
1/2
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talon
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Something very minor.
Quote:
 
Nightmare - 1
Type: Support (Disabling)
Range: 5m
Effect: Nightmare is able to invoke painful and torturous memories from other peoples' minds. It is able to elicit a feeling of regret from others and catches the victim off his/her guard. This technique is activated through contact with the casted projectile. The projectile can only be fired in a straight line, and it can be dodged or blocked by moving out of the way of the projectile, or utilizing any magic-negating shield of equal technique rank than the caster of this technique. The projectiles are normally round spheres of radius 4cm. The projectiles are firey red with a tinge of yellow. These projectiles are formed over the palm of her right unclenched hand and can be fired either on its own, or thrown like a baseball.

Spectre - 1
Type: Offensive
Range: 5m
Effect: Spectre is able to invade the target's mind and elicit pain sensations, which is then translated into physical pain. One must note that this technique inflicts physical damage, yet does not leave gashes or marks as this is an internal attack. This technique is activated through contact with the casted projectile, and are mostly effective on persons with average stamina. Even though the damage cast is instantaneous, the damage cast will disappear after the duration listed. The projectile can only be fired in a straight line, and it can be dodged or blocked by moving out of the way of the projectile, or utilizing any magic-negating shield of equal technique rank than the caster of this technique. The projectiles are normally round spheres of radius 4cm. The projectiles are blue, with a slight hint of black. These projectiles are formed over the palm of her right unclenched hand and can be fired either on its own, or thrown like a baseball.

I know this is a rather nitpick minor problem but reading that this can be blocked means that an unarmed fighter can block it with their hands without them getting the full effect/damage of these attacks? Kind of weird since I assume that upon contact with these projectile their effect would take effect.
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Levvins
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*squishes fumloon*
talon
Mar 3 2012, 05:08 PM
Nightmare - 1
Type: Support (Disabling)
Range: 5m
Effect: Nightmare is able to invoke painful and torturous memories from other peoples' minds. It is able to elicit a feeling of regret from others and catches the victim off his/her guard. This technique is activated through contact with the casted projectile. The projectile can only be fired in a straight line, and it can be dodged or blocked by moving out of the way of the projectile, or utilizing any magic-negating shield of equal technique rank than the caster of this technique. The projectiles are normally round spheres of radius 4cm. The projectiles are firey red with a tinge of yellow. These projectiles are formed over the palm of her right unclenched hand and can be fired either on its own, or thrown like a baseball.

Spectre - 1
Type: Offensive
Range: 5m
Effect: Spectre is able to invade the target's mind and elicit pain sensations, which is then translated into physical pain. One must note that this technique inflicts physical damage, yet does not leave gashes or marks as this is an internal attack. This technique is activated through contact with the casted projectile, and are mostly effective on persons with average stamina. Even though the damage cast is instantaneous, the damage cast will disappear after the duration listed. The projectile can only be fired in a straight line, and it can be dodged or blocked by moving out of the way of the projectile, or utilizing any magic-negating shield of equal technique rank than the caster of this technique. The projectiles are normally round spheres of radius 4cm. The projectiles are blue, with a slight hint of black. These projectiles are formed over the palm of her right unclenched hand and can be fired either on its own, or thrown like a baseball.
I call your attention to the bolded texts in the quote.

If it doesn't help with clarification please let me know.
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Levvins
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*squishes fumloon*
Note: Minor edit done - Added extra Pictures and added detail to Clothing as a result.
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Snow
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Dark Lorde of the Sith

Re 2/2 Approvals



Your character application is now accepted and will be placed in the archived forum. This topic has now been resolved, so therefore its closed.

This is an automatic message.
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Cloud
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Who you calling chocobo head...

This profile is deleted.
http://s1.zetaboards.com/Fairy_Tail_Guild/topic/4783989/1/
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