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The Magical Revolution Comments; If you feel like answering or commenting lol
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Topic Started: Oct 26 2011, 02:52 PM (651 Views)
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brenden96
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Oct 26 2011, 02:52 PM
Post #1
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Council Prisoner
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Just wondering who actually read it and wished to comment on it ... Nuff said
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brenden96
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Oct 30 2011, 12:54 PM
Post #2
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Council Prisoner
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Added some more, finished Chapter Two
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brenden96
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Nov 2 2011, 04:10 PM
Post #3
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Council Prisoner
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Character Index: (Will have All profiles soon.)
Protagonists: Idoru Kairi Kazu Gray Sora
Order: Gray (Captain) John (Boxer) Garru (Buster Blader) Lando (Magician) Michelle (Captain) Hawk (General)
The Characters Protagonists / Main Characters Idoru  Idoru has a well-shaped body. He's quite muscular despite his age. He tends to look less though than his body shows with clothes on, making people think strangely of him. His face on the other hand contradicts his body. His eyes are tainted with a grey-blue colour and are quite large compared to others. He's got a rather rough pair of lips due to being beaten up a lot, they seem hardened. Ido's hair isn't all too fancy. It's all fuzzy and spread across the top of his head, or rather as they say 'bed-hair'. His hair's got a smooth crimson-red colour. His nose is balanced. It's not too wide, not too long or short, not too big. His neck isn't short yet not exactly long. It has a normal length for his age but you can see that it's a little muscled up and the veins being thicker around his neck. His shoulders are rather skinny but then again in a muscular way. They are in balance with his arms and look natural. Kairi  A slender, young girl with a youthfull face. She has long, oak-brown hair that's bound in a ponytail, reaching till her butt. Her eyes are large and have a bright yellow colour. She has smooth and slim legs, and small girly feet. Her hands are soft and her arms are in balance with the rest of her body. She is quite athletic. Kazu  Kazu is a young-looking man, with a hairy head. His hair waves to the back and has a soft brown colour to it, it looks like a lion's hair. His eyes are dark-brown-redish coloured, and are sized a little to the small side. His body is fairly average muscular, and he has firm feet, large hands, and a balanced set of arms and legs to do his work with. Gray  Gray is a young-looking man, with silky black hair. His hair covers the sides of his face, while the back of it is a little spikey in comparence to the rest. He's a slender and muscular guy, with an edge for magic. The best look you might see so far is a rather serious stare, or a grin. Sora  Sora is a young-looking fella with the age of roughly 21. He has a semi-muscular body and is very agile as well. Sora is fit and healthy, but he has many secrets. His blue hair is simply short and reaches just above his shoulders. Furthermore he's dressed in a normal manner most of the times, a typical shorts and T-shirt combo. The Order Michelle Michelle is a slender, curvey young looking woman with a fair bust of C 39 and shoulder-length bright orange hair. She's 5' 7" tall, and weights near 55 kilogrammes. Her eyes are light orange. Hawk Hawk is a wicked looking man. Although he appears to be over 40 years old, his actual age is in the early 30ies. He has a gray-ish skin tone, short black hair and dark hazle eyes. His overal body is quite muscular, as if he's a bodybuilder.
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brenden96
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Nov 19 2011, 12:31 PM
Post #4
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Council Prisoner
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The Order: Leader: (Unknown) Commander: (Unknown) Consultant: (Unknown) Ancient Generals: (Unknown) Generals: Hawk Grand Captain: (Unknown) Captain: Gray Lieutenant: Michelle Sergeant: Garru Magician: Lando Henchman: John Slave: (Unknown)
The Order is an organization of many members that strive to destroy everything other than themselves. They seek utter destruction, sorrow and despair from this world, or that is what was claimed to have been said in the start by the leader... The leader is Unknown to but 6 persons in total: The Commander, the Consultant, and the four Ancient Generals. Nobody else knows who the leader is, and thus lead by the Commander and Consultant.
Gray's pack includes a fierce buster-blade using sergeant, one magician and also a normal henchman. He has received orders given through from the leader himself, to the consultant to act as 'spy' for the main protagonists Idoru, Sora, Kairi and Kazu. He has the command to befriend and help them. Frankly, he actually does so instead of seeing it as order.
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brenden96
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Dec 20 2011, 12:54 PM
Post #5
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Council Prisoner
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New chapter in progress folks
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brenden96
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Dec 23 2011, 02:58 PM
Post #6
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Council Prisoner
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Although I'm taking a break, the writing lives onward
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brenden96
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Jan 22 2012, 03:56 PM
Post #7
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The Spoiler System: Since what plays in my head is seen as the manga ... The writing on here is the anime of it. Meaning that in my head the story is way beyond, so will post everything I can remember on here, in a spoiler tag . . .Since they're spoilers towards the current
ENTER AT OWN RISK -Arc 1: The Order. - Kairi gets dominated by Michelle and finds out she likes girls
- Kazu, Gray and Sora win from their opponents. Kazu was the most dominative victor.
- Gray spoils to his opponent that he has more strength than he showed.
- Idoru starts to battle with Hawk, but gets beaten around. His techniques do not have any effect on him.
- Idoru is held by Hawk and is delivered terrible pain from the path of Hawk.
- Idoru is considered dead, but gets saved due to Gray giving his life-force.
- They return home and rest for a good time. Michelle is one of the group now and they get along.
- Kairi's magic erupts and causes them to be teleported, each split up.
-Arc 2: Strength, to Protect - Kairi is together with Michelle in an unknown land.
- Gray is alone in this land
- Sora and Kazu are together in a group.
- Idoru is even further away, near a large tree-like object.
- Idoru becomes determined and has heard from the beings that they have a way to enhance their magic.
- Idoru is presented to find out the 'secret of magic'.
- After thinking, he finds out and starts his training.
- Sora reveals his true identity, the path he wields, and that he wields the secret of magic.
- Kazu secretly found out the magic's secret.
- Everyone other than Idoru returned home after a good pair of weeks.
- Idoru developes a new technique meanwhile and returns after a month with it.
- He and Hawk clash once more.
- Idoru shows ultimate power compared to his last fight, and dominates Hawk.
- Hawk dies, and Idoru marks his grave with his blade.
- The day after Gray tells him the next General wants to fight him and that they all have 2 weeks time to prepare.
-Arc 3: General's Domination - Doomsday is here.
- Idoru claims he's going alone, and if everyone's coming they need to stay away at least 2 miles from him.
- The crew arrives, and magical force is felt from a distance
- Idoru walks off and tells them to stay where they are, if not back even further
- Idoru greets the General with a smirk on his face as does the General
- The fight starts swiftly with a barrage of hand-to-hand combat
- In the start of the battle Idoru gets pummeled around by the General's fists.
- Idoru throws his basic Hitsu Spear and the General reveals his path's power.
- The man absorbs and nullifies the Hitsu Spear and smirks, spreading his hands to charge up a spell
- Idoru smirks as he knows his opponent's power now. He sends out a flame to the sky, as soon after a lightning-branch-shaped set of flames rushes down from the clouds, then throwing an immense fireball at the same time.
- Yuu crosses his arms and sends out a blast of pure magical force to repel them, absorbing the remaining power sent at him.
- Another fist-to-fist brawl spreads as Ido's blood is spilled across the battle field.
- Idoru starts charging up a Kourensou, yet strangely enough he Throws it. When the general tries to absorb and nullify it, it explodes widely.
- Idoru charges with a Kourensou in each hand, then pushes them together to form a giant one.
- Yuu absorbs it
- After another beat-down against Ido, he distances himself as he charges up something different. A kourensou with three blade-like branches from it, Kourensou Tri
- He throws it at Yuu, and he only gets cut slightly, being able to nullify the big part of it.
- Ido gets beaten up and drops on the ground on his back. He lost lots of blood.
- Yuu stares at him and says: "You've potential ... It was a good fight, but you weren't strong enough for me."
- Ido shows a bright smirk, as he replies: "You're the one that's getting caught though..."
- Ido holds a flame in his hand as he smacks it into the ground, a wide-area circle lighting up. The markings were all made during the battle and from his blood spilled.
- "Kami no ... Shinseina Gekido" (God's Sacred Wrath)
- The heavens darken up, as the circle lights up and Yuu is unable to exit the area.
- Ido's signature techniques drop down from the heaven, multiple Hitsu Storms, comets and kourensous crashing down.
- Yuu gets struck by a too high amount of power and can't nullify it. Yuu dies.
- The circle deluminates, as Ido is on the verge of life, lucky to be living still.
- Everyone arrives and help him back to home.
- After a week, Ido declares war on the Order throughout Gray, and asks to give them a month of training.
- Gray smirks and says: "I'll be waiting for you, for a grand rematch!"
- Idoru simply nods, getting fired up to beat Gray again by then.
-Arc 4: Order's End - Idoru arrives again from a month of training with the long-eared mages.
- Everyone grew slightly, and Michelle forged a deep bond with Kairi throughout all the time. They're lovers.
- Kazu taps his foot on the ground, impatiently, awaiting Ido.
- Ido arrives and they head to the pointed out location of the Order's base.
- Ido speaks: "Stay alive, that's all I'm asking. Let's do this..."
- Ido blasts the gate open as they head inside.
- Kairi offers herself to perform the first fight against a Captain.
- Everyone runs further through a long hall, as Michelle encounters a former Captain friend, claiming she will fight here.
- Sora marches into the next battle with one of the remaining generals.
- Gray already senses Ido's presence and commands the last General to head over to fight him. The General denies as he claims Gray doesn't have the authority.
- Gray tells the general how he's been promoted to a Grand General.
- The general heads over to the enemy.
- Kazu notices a woman ahead and let's out a sigh, telling Ido to just move on. This was the general Gray sent.
- Idoru runs ahead, as he feels someone familiar.
- As he went through the hall, he saw the face of Gray, standing with his arms crossed.
- The battle started between Kairi and her opponent.
- They performed a brawl of basic magic spells, then Kairi revealed her second asset.
- She explained how Aether had the capacability to form Every element.
- She swarms her opponent with Aether, and then it turns into ice, freezing the opponent on the spot.
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