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FTG's Rulebook of Lulz
Topic Started: Sep 14 2011, 12:33 AM (781 Views)
Jossle
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Swordsman & Swordsmith as One!

Click here for the suggestion thread, leave your own rules there and comments!



1. Players may not point out that any of this rules are unfair, stupid, or anything on that vein. All rule breakers will be shot; several times and in the crotch.


2. No player is allowed to cheer "boom chaka laka!" when witnessing a powerful explosion of any kind. This goes double in troll wars and internet backdraft.


3. No FTG member is allowed to make the suggestion that FTG Owner Tennken should make another board. Zetaboards is not designed to handle awesomeness of that magnitude.


4. FTG Member Noel is allowed to pet/hug/tackle/lick anything within his range without it/her/his explicit permission. Stun batons are being sold by FTG Member Braver.


5. It is strictly forbidden for FTG members to argue about science of any kind in the chatbox or use it on their profiles.

-Don't ask why, just don't do it!- Cloud.


6. The song "Take no prisoners" by Megadeath, should not be played every time FTG admin linkrulesx10 violently shoots down a magic concept regardless of how much fitting the song is and if you are found doing this again, FTG member Braver...there will be consequence!

-totally worth it- Braver.


7.FTG Librarian Lightning is no longer allowed to make use of custom fonts on any post for this board. She only allowed to use them on her GFX works.


8. FTG Member Braver is hereby ordered to stop telling new, aspiring members that he will chop their arms off with a butcher's knife, dipped their bodies in 12 secret spices and then roast them slowly as they die while cackling madly.

-He is only allowed to make fried chicken now, as regardless of the cruelty involved, his is some seriously good fried chicken.- Cryo


9. FTG Member Kawaii is to be considered a 'Class A Pathogen Agent' and a posting hazard: prolonged exposure to her texts can cause spontaneous eye melting and violent headesking.


10. No FTG Member may use the phrase "by the power of Tennken, in the name of the glorious machine!" for the activation of the power-up item.


11. All FTG members are legally required to meet a weekly quota of 'Make fun of Squall Leonhart from FF8", those who fail to comply will thrown to the pits. FTG' Members Braver pits that is...


12. No rules can be added to the list ever again, so says FTG Member Dave, which takes us to..

13.-FTG member Dave is not permitted to make any rules for the list whatsoever. If he breaks this rule, he shall be left in a padded room with FTG member Noel for six months with no outside contact and no escape whatsoever. So sayeth the Noelle.

First addendum- -If aforementioned rule is broken more than 3 times, all the members of Team Hanyou (and any other anthropomorphic characters on FTG) will be added into the room.

Second addendum- -If FTG member Dave breakes said rule five or more times, he is to be placed in an indestructable 8x8x8 room with FTG members Kawaii and Noel, dressed in bunny suits based on the one worn in Donnie Darko, along with six rabid furries.

Third addendum- - If all other methods to control FTG members Dave fail, he shall then be declared a Class S Pathogen and Risk to Site Security and as per dictated in the Omega Sanction from the Braver Protocols; Said member will be attached to a missile and launched towards to Opex...Dave will no longer be our problem. Let the sex deprived pirates have their fun with him


14. FTG member Braver is hereby forbidden to use the phrase 'no shit, there i was and it was this big, i shit you not' when starting a story/post/blatant lie for obvious reasons


15. Although we are indeed curious as to what would happen if FTG member Noel and Barney find themselves in the same room, no member maybe try this out...and just to see what happpens is not a valid excuse damn it!


16. FTG admin linkrulesx10 would like to inform you all that he has no relationship whatsoever with Aizen Sosuke and this baseless rumors should cease and desist


17. FTG member Snow must act out the movie "A Beautiful Mind" word for word on a daily basis for FTG member Noelle Fontaine. If he fails to do so, or fumbles with his lines, he must be subject to relentless trolling by FTG members Dave and Braver. Thus sayeth the Noelle.

-Rule 17 is an abuse of female power, considered repelled it! -Braver


18. All critiques and modifications must be requested to the nearest available staff member, especially those with emotes in their usernames
- in the case where one of those aren't available, one must spam them with chatango PMs just to make sure
- If still unavailable, simply spam the link in the chatbox every 30 seconds


19. FTG Member Hyphen may not continue his attempts to make 'the mega summon baby of doom!" or any and all attempts to break or loophole his way trough the site's summon rules.

-If you continue with this, your punishment will be decide by FTG member braver who has being giving carte blanche to beat your arrogance out of you with cruel and unusual punishments! - Link & Cloud


20. All Opex members must not be reference as 'xenos' when found in the Cbox and our members are not legally required to 'righteously smite' them in the name of the Tennken.

-The phrase 'The Tennkenn Protects!" is also banned for obvious reasons

-FTG Member Braver is no longer allowed to play W40k anymore.


21. League of Legends is not and will never be the endorsed as the official MMO of FTG, regardless of how awesome game it is.


22. FTG is not the secret gathering spot of the Illuminati to plot the downfall of the church and we do not have the holy grail. Stop pestering us already Dan Brown or will sick FTG Member Braver at you!

-The fact that FTG Member Scarlet has returned to our board is not a sign she is the heir of christ!.

-Nor the fact that FTG Admin Linkrulex10 has fancy way of saying he worships the Glorious Machine proof he is the head of the Illuminati


23. FTG Member Braver, as the official control board of this rule-book cannot be vetoed from fixing, rejecting or adding any rule.


24. FTG Member Hyphen cannot attempt to loophole the rules listed here either unless he is working in cahoots with FTG Member Braver.


25. Whenever FTG Moderator Cloud has slept less that 8 hours a day, Any good member of this site will and should preform their patriotic duty to right this situation by whatever method they consider necessary to get him to sleep. Chemicals and blunt weapons are encouraged to be used but using this as excuse to hurt him for not posting is not a valid excuse! Do this again FTG Member Braver and we will force you to spell check every page of text your apprentice writes, for live instead of just for an hour!

-This has to be illegal under the Geneva Convention! No, mercy! please...oh god, the typos! argh!! *eyes melt*- Braver


26. FTG Member Noelle is not the Queen of the Silver Millennium or the Reborn Queen Blades, regardless of her tendency for having male servant at her beck and call, willingly...oh so very willingly...

-Here is your smoothie, my queen, shall i bring the entertainment for the night? *shows a chained snow*- Braver

-Yes, now leave and bring me sailor moon's essence, virginal this time, damn it!- Noelle

-Is not my fault i am so hot!- Braver


27. You must never acknowledge FTG Member Kawaii or her many, many aliases as a troll as doing this could bring about the end of all of life as we know it according to FTG Member Braver.



28. No FTG member is allowed to use the name of Chuck Norris in vain. -Rest of the message has been erased for being overly idiotic and definitely not manly-

-This board has no need to know what you do in your spare time Raven- Braver


29. All FTG members must ignore the annoying ravings of FTG member Kawaii due to the fact that they irritate all who lay eyes upon such sad, emo writings. Thus Sayeth the Noelle.

-Isn't it sad, kawaii-chan? - Dave


30. FTG is not a future version of billy vs snakeman, regardless of the insane amounts of awesomeness and hijicks that occur in both sites. FTG owner Tennkenn and Game Administrator Mc-Master are also forbidden from ever meeting in person.


31. The Terminator has been added to 'The List of Movies FTG Member Braver' is not allowed to watch. Ever. At all.


32. FTG Moderator Mazozyst does not smoke illicit substances, even if his avatar looks high like a kite. He is simply in an constant state of apathy that stops from him from ever blinking thus the red eyes. All is well! Carry on!


33. the phrase "the beatings will continue until work efficiency improves" must never again be use by a staff member. Braver's reign of terror must never again be repeated


34. Lu Bu is NOT the God of War and if you continue to get new members to worship him, there will be punishment FTG Member Braver.

-The fact that those that listen to his theme song seem to have an easier time RPing does not mean his unfathomable power is leaking down to his priests . - Linkrulex10


35. FTG is NOT the buffer board between all other affiliates and KHF. You will not tell gullible new members this so that you can record the looks on their faces


36. No, we -won't- adapt the "Seven Habits of Highly Effective Pirates" for official use. Stop asking.


37. Attempts to create character with magic/abilities/ personalities from the world of Shabranigdo and Ciphreed is henceforth banned.

Addendum- Effectively immediately, this will include magics based from the world designated Bastard.


38. Flan, Cream and other pastry-related food are dessert. And to be used ONLY as a dessert.

-Addendum: using desert dishes SHAPED as a ammunition such as high caliber bullets, knifes or any combat implement is also forbidden by Braver Law, and yes, that IS higher than Federal Law


39. Thou shalt not RP in the same thread as FTG Librarian Cryo and FTG Member Alfeo simultaneously. Breaking of this law will result in departure from the forums and eventual death. This has been proven, with hyper-active RPers.


40. The phrase 'Here comes the Nuclear Hollow!' should not be uttered in presence of FTG Member Braver, regardless of how hilarious it is to see him panic while holding his junk.


41. The song 'Like a Boss' by the lonely island shall be played regularly on the c-box along with the song 'on a boat'

- Addendum: Failure to do so shall result in the releasing of unlimit sendou upon all who oppose this rule. Because those people are not bosses or definitely on boats. - FTG Mission Mod. Sunset.

- Second Addendum: Is unlimit sendo like dead or something, i mean boardwise, not otherwise, so why the threat with him. You should threathen people with me! - FTG Member Braver


42. Thou shalt not refer to Tenken, your god... as 'Tekken, son of man', ever, and if you do this then FTG Member Braver, his archangel has been given permission to slowly and brutally remove all of your internal organs with discarded fingernail clippings and then replace them with C4.


43. Lady Celestius/Rixy/Solano may never make another item in the history of time, if she does then she shall be shunned from the FTG community and have pomegranates thrown at her.

-Addendum: Failure to comply with this rule will be met with the same punishment as in rule #42 and #13...AT THE SAME TIME! WITH SHARKS! - FTG Member Braver


44. Henceforth, all FTG memebers must visit 'know your memes' and read TV tropes as much as their job/posting time allows in order to stop the alarming rate of trolling that happens on site.

-Addendum: Pony memes are also to be studied in length and with diligence - FTG Member Dave


45. Violence is the answer, provided that you use enough of it. - FTG Member Braver


46. Despite the flattering rumor, Tenken does not bang a dozen of female FTG virgins. He has no preference from beginners or expert hands ladies. :wink:

16b.) Dammit, Braver, shut up! - FTG Owner Tenken

16c.) The women of the board need to be warned! Behind that asian good looks is a beast! a sex be*gurk*- FTG Member Braver

16d.) Spreading false rumors about Tenken, your god! that get in the way of his getting la--noo- er, that is, undermine his authority, will be severely punished. - FTG Owner Tenken
Edited by Jossle, Nov 9 2011, 03:44 PM.
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Marceline
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Pretty Un-Grump
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Cryool
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ᕙ( ̎ᑒ ̎ )ᕗ 9th Level Ex-Moderator ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

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Snow
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Dark Lorde of the Sith

I don't know what to say but ...

I APPROVE!

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JtDollabills
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D-Class
.-.

*Claps and cries*
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Jossle
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Swordsman & Swordsmith as One!

I approve the sentiment but don't post here guys. Post here if you want to comment or add new rules

http://s1.zetaboards.com/Fairy_Tail_Guild/topic/4507607/1/
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jedibrainwash
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D-Class
BOOM Chaka Laka!
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Kawaii
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9. FTG Member Kawaii is to be considered a 'Class A Pathogen Agent' and a posting hazard: prolonged exposure to her texts can cause spontaneous eye melting and violent headesking.

D: what...the

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Edited by Tenken, Dec 10 2011, 09:04 AM.
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