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| [Accepted] [Edited]King gilgamesh XVI; 2nd approval | |
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| Topic Started: Jun 28 2011, 08:32 PM (4,742 Views) | |
| Kawaii | Jun 28 2011, 08:32 PM Post #1 |
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Account name: Ayano Name: King Skye Gilgamesh XVI Nickname: "The king of heroes", "Angel", "Gil", "Gilgamesh", "Auriel", "King", "Skye" Age:17 Gender: Male Height: 5'8” (173cm) Weight:150 lbs. (68.2kg) Guild: Grimoire Heart Class: D Affiliation:Dark Physical Description: Skye’s body is muscular and fit; a 6 pack visible on his abs. He has little to no hair on his face, legs, arms and chest. He is about 5'8 “(173cm) tall and weighs around 150 lbs. (68.2kg). His face is rather well constructed with a strong appearance, made up of a small nose, and his eye color is gold. His hair is short and a golden yellow which he styles in a ponytail at the back of his head to his hips and he has a unique kind of bang’s on the right side of his head the bangs is covering a little bit of his right eye and in the middle of his head has a long kind of unique long bang’s it measures from the top of his to his chest. As his body is rather well kept he has clean skin and good looking nails, his skin tone being a little whiter than the usual but in still very smooth and even. Clothing: Skye wears a long white flowing robe; it can be seen as similar to a priests robe with a golden design on its edges. And long jacket that’s very long it measure like, from the top of his shoulders to his knees it also has a golden design on its edges and a white slacks and white shinny shoes white a black belt that has a shinny buckle. Sometimes he wears a Cyan long sleeved sweater and a blue jean with a pair of sneakers. Accessories:N/A Extra: He has his grimoire heart membership tattoo is cutten to half the first part can be found on the upper right of his chest which is black in color and flipped upside down while the other one can be found on the upper right side of his back which is also flipped upside down. Pictures: pictures Personality Skye Skye loves sleeping everyday, he doesn't like boring activities but he is a gentleman. He has a habit of biting a toothpick in times when his bored. He doesn't like evil, but he keeps out of other man's business.He often trains Jeet kune do whenever his bored. He likes cute girls and pets he would pat it or hug it whenever he see's one. He loves putting his hands on his pocket and walks around normally. He loves resting his own kind of poetry even if their bad for him he doesn't really care. Skye has no interest on random or worthless subjects. Skye kinda like jokes so even sometimes t joke around his sometimes serious but his always and he kinda has little time for play. He eats any kind of food he has, or is given to him he'll just accept it with no regret. He love listening to his headphone whenever his bored he likes listening or orchestra's or peaceful music, and sometimes rock music,He knows whats right and what's not he doesn't like doing bad things he would rather plant a tree behind his house. He loves sleeping on a plain grass field and rest there, or lie down and look at the sky. He loves making poems about the sky he said he wanted to be free and fly around the sky, he really love the sky. Skye hates noisy people or people who talks too loud Theme The angel auriel Auriel act's as gilgamesh's mentor showing him whats right and whats not. When gilgamesh allows her to take over she's good on fighting and a very good stratygies. She about all the people on the world. Though and angels like her are sometimes ignored she is sometimes sad. She has a secrete crush on skye and The golden king's Nemesis.She loves offering help to people. She hates evil and hates every evil men. Theme The king of the golden capital He is the maker of the golden capital, the true creator of that magic his been stock there for a thousand of years. He became an official part of gilgamesh's mind because of gil and auriel's soul fusion his power was replaced by auriel's magic this angered the king and swears to take over of gilgamesh's body someday. he took over gilgamesh's emotion and mind before but he was sealed to take over gilgamesh, he was sealed by auriel but gilgamesh can hear The king its just gilgamesh ignores him a lot. He has the habit of conducting in a battle whenever he wants to. He loves the sound of chaos pointing at the people who might die or get hurt. He is a machochist and a self proclaimed king and god. He thinks he's better and greater than anyone and everyone else around him. His pride conquers all and he calls himself a king and everyone below him his servants. A very disrespectful guy but he only respects those who possess greater power than he has. He doesn't care about weaklings and he points at everyone and calls them weak. He told himself he is a golden standard.When he speaks he always rise and eyebrow and disrespects a person and he always praises himself as a king. When he talks he always says that he's the king and people should bow down to him. He gives respect to masters or higher ranks than himself because he is afraid to lose. But, when he fails he tries again and again to pass. He is a narcissistic man and he loves his body and himself, also he loves acting like a king. When a person i much tougher than him he gets so nervous and give up. He smiles because of the joy of evilness, blood and violence make this man happy.he has an unique laughter style saying ´´Uheeheehee´´ or ´´Uhahahah´´. He also has a weird way of walking (he does big steps with his legs wide spread or sometimes he walks straight when feels he wants to).He has a violent nature, as he gets excited over seeing people dying. theme History History Weaponry/Equipment Equipment's Stats - 75 Strength:10 Accuracy:10 Stamina:15 Speed:10 Magic:30 Stat Points Earned:0/31 Arc Points Earned: 2/2 Jewels Earned:9,690,000/9,750,000 Sources Normal Arcs Events Missions Skills & Disciplines: "Jeet kune do (Kung Fu) : A martial arts that his father taught him" The best thing that his father thought him : A freestyle swordstyle, holding different styles of swords and having a freestyle attack of it that his father thought him. Archery/shooting guns :He was also taught by his father about shooting with guns and using a bow and arrow "Semi-Knight trained: : He was taught by his father to use different kinds of weapons (including lances) because his father was a knight." ~Magic section~ Magic Name: Golden Capital Magic Type: Requip Tier of Magic: 3 Rank: Rank 4 Magic Description: There Is a dark red portal that that connects to the "Golden Capital", the treasury of Gilgamesh. Which he stores his most valueble treassuries such as vechiles, weapons and objects. allowing the user to easily access its contents. It connects the space of reality to the vault, opening an "invisible door" that allows for the contents to pass through upon the user's command. The items that pass through the gate form ripples in the empty air as they appear. They can be summoned anywhere, either directly to the users hands or anywhere in the direct vicinity. The pocket dimension becomes more powerful as the wealth of the owner increases, but if the treasury does not contain a wealth of valuables, then it will not be Useful. Techniques: 3/5 G-quip - 2 Type: Requip Range: self Effect: He can summon forth different weapons in his arsenal, from his pocket dimension or grab the weapon itself from the pocket dimension. Ranks Arsenal levitation - 1 Type: Support Range: (Power level * 5) meters Effect: Allows the mage to move around and summon their arsenal using their magic. This allows them to float their arsenal around them and throws them towards their target attacking them.The number of arsenal can be controlled = (power level), a mage may control more weapons than this but with twice as many weapons it is twice the strain and half as accurate and gets exponentially harder with more weapons from there. Cool down: 2 post arsenal levatation
Edited by zeldarulesx10, Nov 5 2011, 01:54 AM.
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| 御 Cloud | Jul 3 2011, 11:15 AM Post #2 |
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Who you calling chocobo head...
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- Formatting could be better, there are excessive gaps and it interupts the flow of the profile. - Run the entire thing through a grammer checker, try; http://www.spellchecker.net/grammar/ - Longer Physical Description. - 110 lbs. is very thin for a 6' male, particularly one that is a warrior and is meant to be healthy. - You need a magic description. Golden-Xplotion: - How big is the wave? - How does it hurt? - Is it just energy, or does it have a type (like fire)? - A greater description of rank 1 damage is required, pain =/= damage. |
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| Kawaii | Jul 3 2011, 09:18 PM Post #3 |
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made all on a grammar checker adjusted some physical description changed weight to 200+ Gave the measurements of the wave Described how it hurts Made Rank 1 description greater |
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| 御 Cloud | Jul 5 2011, 02:39 PM Post #4 |
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Who you calling chocobo head...
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- The formatting is still...distracting. - Not that I care too much about what you choose the weight to be...but no need to jump from 110 lbs. to 226 lbs. Just 110 lbs. was extremely underweight on a scale that generally puts athletes as overweight. Going off the source you linked me, 150 lbs. would be fine but, whatever you want (though by your description and picture 226 lbs. is massively excessive). - I don't normally mind but meaning is being lost...please fix up the spelling and grammar. Obvious things like hom instead of him and no spaces after punctuation are still present so if you did run this through a checker...please find a better one. - For your magic description, please tell me what other techniques in general terms you'll have other than just requip. Golden-Xplotion - ...I...still have no idea how this works. |
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| Kawaii | Jul 5 2011, 07:54 PM Post #5 |
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done...? |
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| 御 Cloud | Jul 6 2011, 11:18 PM Post #6 |
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Who you calling chocobo head...
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- Remove the extra line gap after theme songs. Then remove the other excessive gaps in the profile. - Please after all colons, semicolons, periods and commas have a space. - "gilgamesh" is a name and needs a capital G. - "226 lbs on weight" yet 150 lbs. at the top of the profile. - Golden Standard and Golden Glory need more description, remembering some people won't be able to see the picture. A length for Golden Glory too. - More description on the Claws. - More description on the Bow. Black inside white - Bullet Proof vests wouldn't be D Class; D Class Armour needs to be actual armour at that class. - More information on the guns, including clip size. - 7 inches is quite thick for a shield... - G-quip needs a longer magic description; otherwise the only technique you'll be able to take is requip. Golden-Xplotion - What do you mean by strokes? Edited by Cloud, Jul 6 2011, 11:20 PM.
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| Kawaii | Jul 10 2011, 05:09 AM Post #7 |
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changed grammaring of personality and all, made amno's and made a magic disc. |
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| 御 Cloud | Jul 15 2011, 09:37 AM Post #8 |
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Who you calling chocobo head...
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- For Golden Glory, what do you mean by 2 2' 8" ft? Also, is this the total length including the hilt? - For Claws, length of the claws, and is the underside sharp so they can be used to slash, or, is the end pointed so they can be used to stab, or is it both? - Can you please make the second picture under sharpeye a little bit smaller? It's causing the forum to be stretched. - For the bow, height of the bow, and, remember it is a Class D, it shouldn't give a refined speed and strength to an arrow. You also need to mention something about the arrows, and how many you have. - Guns on FTG are nowhere near as lethal as their real life counter parts just to let you know, even a shot to the face from D Class gun would fail to be lethal. D Class guns at best if they are pistols should be semi-automatic single action, with a magazine size of 10 bullets, the bullets themselves standard 9mm bullets. - For magic description, could we get some examples/a general idea of those special moves? "If the lance strikes and hits something during performance of this move, it can also pierce through a technique of the same rank, things such as magical shields" - This isn't really needed, a shield technique will describe what is can or can't resist. - With the new description for the technique, is; "Rank 1 :not very painful its like an average punch to the shoulder and will not knock out an opponent but only hurt the enemy the damage doesn't get burn at all." still needed? I bring it up also because that information goes against the information above it. |
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| Kawaii | Jul 16 2011, 05:48 AM Post #9 |
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-golden glory yes including the hilt -claws he uses it for both stabbing and slashing -Made a smaller version of sharpeye pic -so you mean i should replace the bullets,or not? -magic desc done -removing the part you wanted is done -rank 1 description of effect is done Edited by Kawaii, Jul 16 2011, 03:09 PM.
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| 御 Cloud | Jul 18 2011, 04:32 AM Post #10 |
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Who you calling chocobo head...
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"I made a game i played you, you died..Game over" - Doesn't make sense. "Such immature class human like you doesn't deserve to exist" - Doesn't make sense. ''Cause I am the game and I want you play! " -Doesn't make sense. - The information at the beginning or your profile, and the information in your physical description don't match up, namely, the height and weight. From history chapter 2; "Whenever his father gives him new pets he murders them with a dagger kill" - Doesn't make sense. - The "none yet" at the end of the chapter seems out of place. - The length for Golden Glory still doesn't state if it's total length or not in the actual description, and the number as written makes no sense. - You should make it clear that the claws may be used to stab as well as slash, and the length should be mentioned. - You completely ignored me on the bow. - You need to mention how many arrows you have, and do you carry them in a quiver of some sorts? - You completely missed my point on the guns. Your guns are too good for Class D weapons. - The last bit of your magic description, "he buys if its not a magical weapon then a special move cannot be done." What do you mean by this? All your D Class equipment is non-magical too... - The effect and rank information for golden retribution...need to be fixed. |
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