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5 Misconceptions About White Guys With Asian Girls



It is no secret that there is a good amount of fornication between white guys and Asian women these days, and there are no signs of this trend slowing down. It’s hard to go out in a large American city nowadays and not see a white guy holding hands with an Asian girl. It’s even getting to the point where people aren’t surprised anymore if you tell them your girl is Asian, as if it’s almost slightly expected. But that doesn’t stop them from taking a second to look at you as if you’ve been infected with an incurable disease, otherwise known as yellow fever.

I am one those white guys whose immune system has been overrun by yellow fever. Yes, it is somewhat incurable. I also like to observe, listen, and attempt to understand the thought process of the mainstream. One thing I’ve learned over the years is that there is a lot of misinformation and myths associated with the white guy Asian woman saga. Here are 5 common misconceptions

1. Asian girls only hook up with white guys

If you are a white western feminist threatened by all the Asian girls taking your men, then you can relax. Most Asian girls are not interested in western men, and the ones that are also like non-white western men as well. If you are an angry white guy that thinks Asian women will love you because you are white, sorry to burst your bubble. Maybe in Korea or Japan during the 1990’s, but it’s 2014 dude. Get over yourself.

Global society has changed drastically. Everyone has high-speed internet, YouTube, and Facebook, and the world has been exposed ten times over. The truth is, guys of every color love Asian women and Asian chicks who adore western men are open to all backgrounds. Asian women often like western men because of the equal lifestyle it affords. Sure, it used to be only white guys and Asian women back in the day, but that was because they had only been exposed to white guys.

2. Asian girls hook up with creepy old white guys

Are there old guys in Thailand who have young girlfriends or old dudes in America married to some young, mail-order bride? Sure, of course there are. I’ve also seen young western women shacking up with old guys. The creepy old white guy and young Asian bride image has to stop. The reality is that there are tons of American guys in their twenties and thirties hooked up with a Japanese, Korean, or Chinese girl. Just take a stroll on a university campus and you will see a fair number of young, hot Asian women walking with their western boyfriends. The creepy old guy image is a stereotype mostly propagated by feminists.

3. Western men think Asian women are submissive and weak

This is another absurd misconception campaigned for by young, western feminists who have become bitter from a lack of attention. Personally, I don’t think most western men think Asian girls are weak. Western women, on the other hand, just assume that all Asian women are submissive and weak and that is the only logical explanation as to why they are sought after by western men.

Let’s just set the record straight. Sure, there are some submissive Asian girls in Asia, but these aren’t usually the ones that go with western men. The Asian women I’ve met and ones that go with western men are rather polite and less dramatic, though “submissive” is the wrong word to describe them. It is this drama-free demeanor that gets them pegged by their western counterparts as being “submissive.”

4. Asian women are just after a green card and money

Are there Asian women living in America with the hopes of securing a green card or financial security? Absolutely. Are there white, Black and Latina women shacked up with a guy right now because he has money or can help her get a job? Of course there are. So what is the difference if an Asian woman does it? At the end of the day, we live in a capitalistic system and a woman is a woman. In reality, most Asian girls are not after an American guy’s money or papers. Women from Korea, Japan, and China are some of the most sincere, selfless, non-materialistic and educated people on the planet.

5. Western men date Asian girls because they can’t get a REAL WOMAN

This one always makes me laugh. If by a “real women,” you mean having a girl put you down in front of your friends at the drop of a hat, then I don’t need a “real woman.” If you mean a chick that will stop caring about her body and looks after you settle down, then it’s not so appealing. If you mean a girl whose idea of cooking involves canned food, microwaves, and constant complaining, then I can live without a “real woman.”

Actually, western men for the most part love Asian women because they are actually women. Maybe western women should starting Asian men, since both groups love to be demanding, unappreciative, and expect too much.

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The Myth Of Yellow Fever
Why do Asian girls fetishize white men?



Recently, YouTube personality and aspiring actress Anna Akana posted a rant about white men who fetishize Asian women. In the video, Akana recounts her experiences with yellow fever-stricken white nerds with such bitterness that you can practically visualize stink lines wafting off the screen:



Beyond the fact that Akana is clearly making some of her stories up (getting approached by men speaking an Asian language? Yeah right, honey), her video itself is based on a lie. Yellow fever, as described by jealous white girls and Americanized Asian girls, does not exist. The idea that there’s a whole population of men who fetishize slanty eyes and hairless bodies is a myth.

Before the usual suspects start flapping their gums, yes, nerdy white guys tend to end up with Asian girls. But the reason this happens is not because of the man’s fetish, but the woman’s fetish. Asian girls have an obsession with whiteness and white men that borders on being creepy, an obsession that is almost entirely ignored by the legions of white girls and resentful halfies crying about “yellow fever.”



White Fever In The Far East

Until you’ve visited Asia, it’s impossible to understand just how fascinated Asians are with whiteness. My first taste of it was in the Singapore airport. While I was trudging towards the transit hotel, I walked past several kiosks advertising skin lightening cream for women, for the explicit purpose of making them look more Caucasian. SJWs don’t exist in the Far East, so nobody sees anything wrong with this.

The fetishization ramped way up when I entered the Philippines. Every single advertisement on the streets features white models, half-white models, or Filipino models who’ve clearly had their skin retouched to look whiter. In the transit lounge at the Davao airport, I sat behind a huge poster advertising a skin lightening clinic, featuring models who were whiter than me. While the effect is less pronounced in other Eastern countries, the message is clear: many Asian women want to be white.

Indeed, the near-universality of “white fever” among Asian women is what makes laying them so easy. When I opened up an account on FilipinoCupid and posted a picture of myself, I started getting dozens of messages from Filipinas a day. Getting them to show up on dates was as simple as telling them I was going to be in their city (or was in their city) and asking what their number was.

To give you an example of how eager some Filipinas are to date a white man, one girl I met off of FilipinoCupid went absolutely crazy when I first texted her. Five minutes after I contacted her, she tried calling me three times in a row, and when I didn’t pick up, she sent me another three texts. When we finally met for coffee, she was downright obsequious, profusely apologizing to me for being late, laughing at all of my bad jokes, and repeatedly reminding me that we should “spend as much time together” as we could before I returned to the states.

White fever is so strong in the Philippines that I suspect that some of the girls I banged were trying to get pregnant just so they could have a half-white baby. I asked a few girls what they’d do if I got them pregnant (abortion is illegal in the Philippines) and they all told me they’d raise the baby on their own without telling me. Keep in mind that these were all college-educated, middle-class girls I met via FilipinoCupid or day gaming in malls.



Marital Submission And Asian Women

Resentful, Americanized Asian girls like Anna Akana claim that the reason white men have “yellow fever” is because they want a “submissive” woman they can control and berate. When they’re not parading this strawman around, they like to burn it by claiming that Asian women aren’t the “doormats” and “geishas” that nerdy white men are looking for, that they’re strong and sometimes domineering.

This entire argument is based on the fallacious feminist view of wifely submission. To the average you-go-grrl, “submission” conjures up an image of a battered wife tearfully obeying her husband’s every command, no matter how repulsive or humiliating. In actuality, submission is putting the interests of someone or something else before your own, without even thinking about it.

By this definition, Asian women are submissive, because marital submission is the only way to make a marriage and family work. It’s not about being a “doormat,” it’s about working to ensure the health and happiness of your husband and children. If you’re not going to put the interests of the man you love first, why even get married? Why have relationships to begin with if all you care about is yourself?

Furthermore, the claim that yellow fever-afflicted men are closeted domestic tyrants is yet another example of how feminists libel geeks and nerds, some of the most powerless men in American society, as being the root of all evil. Most of these nerds are just looking for an attractive woman who will treat them with respect and won’t emasculate them. Asian women actually appreciate the men in their lives: you will never see one casually cutting down her husband or boyfriend in public the way white girls do.



“Exotification” Does Not Exist

When I wrote an article several months ago praising Filipino girls, feminists and SJWs accused me of “exotifying” them. But none of the traits I listed are ones that only Filipinas can have. There’s nothing about being appreciative, chaste or skinny that precludes white, black, or any race of women from embodying these qualities. It’s not like I was castigating white girls for having round eyes or being taller than 5 foot 1 on average.

My big head may be accepting of all races and peoples, but my little head has its own hood and robes. I’m not particularly attracted to Asian facial features, but I’m also smart enough to recognize a good thing when I see it. Asian girls are a far better deal for the enterprising man looking for a girlfriend or wife who will support him, put his needs first and treat him the way he deserves to be treated.

To jealous white girls and honorary white girls like Anna Akana, Asian women are a threat. A class of girls who are feminine, agreeable and attractive are dangerous to women who get off on being self-absorbed, self-mutilating bores. Accusing men who want feminine, agreeable women of having “yellow fever” is a way of vilifying normal male desires. The slur obscures the fact that white male-Asian female pairings are driven by the fetishes of the latter, not the former.

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9 Wack Things White Guys Say to Deny their Asian Fetish
When I ask, "What’s up with your long history of dating so many Asian women?" these are the nine stupid answers I get.
KRISTINA WONG JUL 22, 2013


I launched www.bigbadchinesemama.com, a mock mail order bride website that targeted Asiaphiles with images like the above. Now, 13 years later, I find myself dating the descendants of the same men I once loathed.

If my vagina had a guest book, it would look like the roster of the United Nations (if the United Nations consisted of a small group of broke-ass ambassadors of different ethnic backgrounds). Lately, though, with white guys I’ve dated, I’m consistently finding out that I’m one in a long line of Asian women they’ve dated. It’s awkward.

White guys with Asian fetishes used to be easy to spot -- pathetic social pariahs planning their sex tour vacations to Thailand, creeping around Japanese language classes. Now, Asiaphiles are attractive tattooed hipsters that possess fantastic social skills, and we meet them through friends of friends.

When I ask these guys: “What’s up with your long history of dating so many Asian women?” It’s like I’ve triggered the shaming meltdown of a lifetime -- dudes get nervous, defensive, and very rarely, are willing to engage in an inevitably uncomfortable conversation about race.

9 Wack Things I’ve ACTUALLY been told by Asian Fetish Guys in Denial


1. “I can’t be accused of having an Asian fetish because my Russian Great-Grandfather looked Asian.”

I think Latoya Jackson looks Thai on the “We Are the World” album cover, shall I ask for her pad thai recipe? First lesson in Race 101: There’s a difference between having a distant relative “look” like a member of an ethnic group and having lived the experience enough to claim it.

2. “If I really had an Asian Fetish, I’d be buying sex slaves off the Internet.”

According to Wikipedia: “An Asian fetish is usually understood to be an interest, attraction, or preference for Asian culture, things or people.” Just like “racists” are not just people who scream the N-word and wear KKK robes, not all guys with Asian fetishists do drastically evil things. Your fetish may be an admiration of Asian people and culture, not an all out need for colonial conquest. STOP DEFLECTING.

3. “How is being into Asian women any different than a woman being only into guys who wear glasses or have a certain color hair?”

Because moron -- my history, my culture and my racial identity is not the same as a pair of glasses or a hair color. Race is not something we choose to be born with or can add or remove to create sexual attraction. I am not “amping up” my race so you find me more sexually attractive.

4. “I lived in China/Japan/Thailand/Mongolia/Studied Buddhism for a year. I know more about your culture than you!”

Just like I don’t assume to know what it’s like for you to be a presumptuous white man, you don’t know “my culture” until you’ve spent 18 years raised by my Chinese mother and another lifetime fighting off the guilt that I’ll have from publishing the opening sentence of this essay. And who are you to define what my culture is? “Culture” is an ever-evolving diasporic phenomenon; it’s not just about language and ancient customs.

5. “I don’t see race.”

Then how is it that your dating habits have me feeling like I’m on an assembly line of Asian blow-up dolls?!

6. “I don’t date only Asian women. I once dated a Puerto Rican girl in college.”

If your bar tab has one daiquiri and 17 Singapore Slings, I'm thinking rum isn't your drink.

7. If you only date white men, does that mean you have a white fetish?

No, it means I live on the East coast or Midwest or the South or a work in an environment teeming with white men. Or it means you creeps keep making a beeline toward me.

And can people stop making analogies of race where white people and people of color are interchangeable?! White people and People of Color have different histories of power, so it is problematic to interchange them in an analogy as if they are equal.

8. “I don’t know why you keep insinuating I have 'white privilege.’ I grew up working class and was bullied as a kid for my big nose. I never had white privilege.”

EVERYONE has felt left out. EVERYONE got picked on. Do women clutch their purses tighter to themselves when you pass them on the street? Do people constantly assume you can’t speak English? Are you part of a race that systematically receives the worst health care, education, and environmental policy? Would you ever want to play the DNA lottery and come back to this life as a black man? This is the white privilege I speak of.

9. “When I approach a group of women, I tend to be better at picking up the Asian ones. So that’s why I tend to go for them.”

Thanks for using an obvious metaphor that dating is an act of colonial conquest where Asian women are the injured gazelles and you the stupid insecure hunter with one bullet. Keep digging yourself that hole you are standing in.

Guys! Here’s the better response to give me next time I ask you why you only date Asian women: “I acknowledge that I’ve been gravitating towards dating Asian women, and it probably has to do with a subconscious racial preference. I want to explore my racial biases, my racism, and my privilege as a white male. I vow to actively unlearn my racism and white privilege, build cultural competency and sensitivity, so that the women I’m dating feel less creeped out.”


I know. It’s a long, wordy, unrealistic statement to follow through on that you will have to read to me off a notecard. But openly talking about race is sexy to me. Admitting your privilege and wanting unlearn racism is sexy to me. If you say it and mean it, you’ll improve your chances of signing my vagina’s guestbook.

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Because People Still Don't Get It, Here's What's Wrong With Having A "Preference" for Asian Women
What is so wrong about being attracted to multiple Asian girls, anyways?
AUDREY ZAO AUG 5, 2013

After reading the comment section of Kristina Wong's article, “9 Wack Things White Guys Say to Deny their Asian Fetish,” I realized most people still don't get it. Even a lot of Asian women can't quite put their finger on what gives them goosebumps when a guy hits on them suspiciously just because they're Asian.

What is so wrong about being attracted to multiple Asian girls, anyways?

I remember when I was in junior high, my friend, let's call her Jessie, and I were watching “Road Trip.” Seann William-Scott's character goes to a sperm bank and the nurse gives him a selection of porn.

“Excuse me, do you have anything with Asian women? I have this thing with Asian chicks and there doesn't seem to be any in this binder.”

As two girls who never had boyfriends, only crushes, Jessie nudged me: “See? He likes Asians,” as if, “Hey, there's a market for you! Don't worry. You won't be alone forever!” I didn't understand at the time why this made me uncomfortable. Perhaps it's because it said nothing about me except that there would be men with Asian fetishes preying on me in my future.

The definition of sexual fetishes tend to relate to situations or objects causing a person arousal. When an entire race of women have become fetishes, it's an extreme case of objectification.



Try running a Google search for Asian dating sites. It's no surprise that there would be Asian male customers interested in dating Asian females, I mean, isn't that the point of the specificity of the site? Yet, instead, most of them have a surprising amount of interracial couples in their featured success stories and ads.

Apparently, the specific interest in Asian women by non-Asian male customers is so great that they're actually the target audience. Supply and demand, right? The above website, formally Asianchats.com, has even changed its direction, advertising that they're the “#1 dating site for Asian women and Non-Asian men.” Asian women are commodities.

While there are stereotypes that follow a white woman who is either blonde or would decide to dye her hair blonde, assumptions are placed over an entire race of Asian women. The decision to have a more girlie, hippie, business, vintage, or rock n' roll style, for example, are voluntary choices. Being Asian is not.

Common stereotypes and presumptions about women of Asian descent are that they're subservient, nurturing, eager to please, child-like, weird, a little crazy, potentially kinky, have sideways vaginas, love Americans, and aren't picky about the physical appearance of their men.

When a guy reeking of yellow fever goes over to an Asian woman, he isn't thinking, “I bet she's an artist. I bet she's academically intelligent and can teach me a thing or two about science and math. She probably can't drive.” Even though these are equally annoying and offensive, they have to do with interests, talents, and skills. That would be too much credit to give a young woman.

Instead, the assumed focus is on how a girl can please him. Now, don't get me wrong. Perhaps these are not the assumptions yellow fever patients have, but when they make themselves known, this is what comes off anyways. It's an assumed glorification of a girl, just because of her genes. The belief that a guy would approach me because of these presumptions is pretty gross. This is misogyny and objectification.



An older man, probably in his 50s or 60s, sits next to me on a subway platform bench. We're far apart. He strikes up conversation with me. I'm a young, friendly person, so I intend to keep it that way. Far too soon the nationality question comes up. To which of course my response is “I'm American.”

Although he's surprised to find my perfectly well-spoken self (along with slang) was born in this country, that's not what he's “really” asking. “Oh, you mean my ethnicity!” I say in an educating tongue-and-cheek tone. When I finally give him the answer he's looking for, he proceeds to list other Chinese people he knows. Wonderful. The waiter at a Chinese restaurant gives you much cred.

He asks, “What grade are you in?” He thinks I'm in high school. I'm not. I'm in my mid-twenties, thanks.

Finally, he asks, “So can I get your number?” as if he expects me to say yes. I'm sorry, didn't you just think I was prepubescent?

This has happened to me multiple times. I'm short and I look like I'm 14 or 15, even though I'm in my mid twenties. (I don't want to hear the b.s. that I'll love it when I'm older. Right now, because seniority rules in my industry, I don't want to look like I'm in 9th grade.) To these men, that's an obvious plus (fake jail bait!).

At no point do they try to impress me. They're not trying to show how great of a boyfriend or husband, for that matter, they would be, but the very fact that they're interested should be reason enough “for me.” The media has not only fetishized Asian women into sex objects, but they've also infantalized them.

The combo is borderline pedophilia.

There I said it. This is why it's so creepy! American media constantly portrays Asian women as young, cutesy, quirky girls in school uniforms who barely speak English...that's sexualization and infantilization. To be honest, some Asian women are young at heart, myself included. Whether it's playing throwback games like hide and go seek, drawing with crayons, putting glitter on everything, or playing dress up with beautiful clothes or wearing costumes, we shouldn't feel ashamed or sexualized for that.



Here is what's wrong with the approach the older man had:

- Don't make the fact that you've assumed things about my life because of my physical ethnicity obvious. There's nothing more unattractive than prejudice.

- Don't shed light to the fact that the only thing you notice about me is my ethnicity. That doesn't make me special. Go prey on some other Asian chick.

- Don't assume I want to be a mail-order (or rather pick-up-at-the-store) bride.

- Recognize that the age difference will likely make a youngin' like me uninterested.

- Don't assume I'd be interested, simply because you're interested.

- Don't confuse my polite, “and how are you?” as flirting. That is not a signal. Neither is laughing at your joke. People are funny. I'm not attracted to all of them.

- Get to know me.

When you approach an Asian woman and do the don't's, it becomes very obvious that your interest is in her ethnicity and what she represents, not her as an individual. She feels like you're assuming the misogynistic fetishized and or infantilized stereotypes, whether or not that's your intention. When you see an attractive woman (Asian or not) think of her as a blank slate.

All you can know about her is the way she dresses herself or her demeanor, but even then you can't assume you know everything about her. If you'd actually like to get to know her better, start a conversation. And let's get this straight: knowing what part of Asia her parents are from isn't going to tell you everything you need to know (for a positive relationship) about her.

Here are some dirty little secrets:

- No one cares if you can decipher whether a person is Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, or Filipino. If a person looks Asian that's all you really need to know. No one is entitled to the knowledge of a stranger's ancestral heritage. What I do care about is the obviousness that this is the first and only thing you want to know about me.

- When a guy says he's just loves the culture, we can smell b.s. from a mile away. There's a difference between a person who was fascinated by the culture first (loving Asia) and a person who became interested in it second. (Pick up artistry?)

- It's okay to think Asian women are hot. (We are!) But when you're flirting with an Asian woman, the same way you don't talk about your ex or other ladies, avoid saying things like, “I love Asian women.” It is not a compliment. Don't make the girl you're hitting on feel like a byline. If I told a guy, “Men are all so handsome,” does it even sound like I'm talking about him? Well, he's a man, right? Ergo, I think he's handsome...but so is that guy over there!

- These are triggers. Yes, we're generalizing too. Why? Because we don't want to get involved with someone who sees us only for our race, our sexuality, our youth, or our potential servitude to a penis.

To clarify, I am not saying, “Never approach Asian women.” Just be selective by personality about who you date and try not to give Asian women creep stares. I hope this was helpful. Now go forth and spread awareness of the cure to yellow fever.

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Yellow Fever: The Exotification of Asian Women
Seeking Asian Female? Post published by Ravi Chandra M.D. on Apr 02, 2013 in The Pacific Heart



April 2, 2013

Asian woman!

Did your head turn? Are you like Dug, the dog in “Up”, who can’t keep his focus after spotting a squirrel? Hmmm. You might be a fetishist. You might have Yellow Fever.

Filmmaker Debbie Lum describes a long history of being approached by white men with “yellow fever”. What, you might ask, is wrong with being attracted to certain ‘looks’? After all, some men are attracted to blondes, redheads or Swedes. And women have their preferences as well. But this particular brand of attraction leaves many Asian and Asian American women uncomfortable – and angry. The syndrome of Yellow Fever can range from mild preference to outright vulgarity, and is worthy of examination. (There is a related syndrome among gays and lesbians also known as “Rice Picking”.)

Most men with Yellow Fever – know they have Yellow Fever. They know they are more attracted to women of Asian ethnicity, but they are often unclear why. They might casually attribute it to looks, but when you probe more deeply, many can admit fascinations with Asian culture, or that they harbor stereotypes about Asian women, stereotypes which are blatantly racist, misogynist, and devaluing. As this article by Goal Auzeen Saedi, Ph.D. points out, women of Asian ancestry are frequently exotified and stereotyped. They are “submissive, man-pleasing ‘sex kittens’”, or in a more palatable phrase I’ve heard “have great personalities.” What does that mean, exactly? Usually, it means that Asian women are perceived to be less aggressive, more docile and self-sacrificing – more obedient, in other words. They are perceived as less likely to challenge their partners and be compliant. (Saedi has another nice article on how exotification is a microaggression.)

Stereotypes are projections made in an attempt to organize the mind, exert power, and cope with and control a world that feels threatening or is not fully understood. They distort reality and create an environment of misunderstanding and even oppression. As Anais Nin wrote, “we see the world not as it is, but as we are.” Any person projecting the stereotypes of submissiveness, etc. onto an Asian female is likely to get a sound rebuke. Racist and polarizing assumptions limit possibilities and invite backlash. Why would the person with Yellow Fever need to project limiting stereotypes onto their partner? First, the stereotype becomes the object of desire. Why is that? Everyone’s different, but suspects include a consuming need for control, an inability to integrate one’s own feminine capacity, an immature or wounded masculinity, and outright racist attitudes and even a thirst for exploitation of “the other”. Stereotypes are held steadfastly in ignorance of reality, and the worst culprits manifest in creepishness, perversion and sociopathy.

Debbie Lum’s award-winning film “Seeking Asian Female” will air on PBS’s Independent Lens on May 6th. She is ramping up to that debut with a series of webisodes exploring the issues involved in interracial relationship and attraction at http://www.theyreallsobeautiful.com (link is external). I sat down with Debbie during the recent 2013 CAAMFest (formerly known as the San Francisco International Asian American Film Festival), where she won the Jury Prize for Best Documentary Feature. That interview is here (link is external):



Lum interviewed many white men who professed a preference for Asian women. She ended up following a man with a relatively extreme case of Asiaphilia for five years. He used international dating sites to meet and finally get engaged to a much younger Chinese woman from Anhui province in China. This raises issues of race, class, power differences across two very different cultures, and might at worse be seen as lying on the spectrum of sex trafficking. (Steve says jocularly and without inhibition “I’m losing weight from all the sex and the vegetables (she’s making).”

The director, trying to maintain distance and neutrality behind the camera, is drawn into the relationship as a translator (Steve doesn’t speak Chinese, and Sandy doesn’t speak English). It is a very personal movie, for all parties involved; Lum ends up having a journey during the film as well, as she moves from her preconceived notions based on years of being targeted by “Yellow Fever”, to an acceptance of this particular relationship, with all its nuances. “I ended up with a much more human story of two people relating to each other,” rather than a portrayal of right or wrong. “All of the ways I had thought about the issue had to be thought about differently after having filmed their story.”

Still, “We don’t like it when there are men out there objectifying us. (But) when you get older, you realize people make a lot of mistakes in making a relationship,” including making projections that don’t match with reality or don’t allow the person to be who they really are.

The problem is that these relationship “choices” are being made in a context that usually places White men at the top and Asian men at the bottom of a scale of manhood. Some scholars speak of a ‘hiergamy’ or hierarchy of manhood that is tied to race and power in society. Thus white men generally have more choice and say in asserting their desires, and are often seen as more desirable by potential partners by virtue of their status in society. And women have power to choose as well, and are essentially the gatekeepers to relationship. When either men or women choose to marry into the dominant culture, this can naturally raise questions of connection with versus devaluing of their own ethnicity, questions that must be dealt with actively. Underscoring this point is the fact that Japanese Americans have the highest outmarriage rate of any Asian ethnicity – this is attributed to factors including that they have a long history in the United States, and the effects of Internment during World War II, leading to internalized shame and a wish to assimilate and not stand out. This is not to say that interracial relationships are “wrong” in any way – it’s just that they occur in a context. But ultimately, making any relationship work – is work. My hat is off to any couple, straight or gay of any race, that can make theirs work.

Most Asian and Asian American men and women do choose to marry each other – but the Asian-White pairing tends to be an area of scrutiny, because of the underlying issues of racism and power differential. Asian American men often feel like they have been emasculated by popular culture, while Asian American women are portrayed as desirable, exotic beauties who will cater to their man’s every whim.

Some may feel that “love” is above politics – but sexual politics that involve race, sexism, class, religion, and so on are powerful forces. We become ourselves through relatedness. Relationship can be a lens and mirror to explore those forces, and desire itself. Sometimes it is a refuge against all those forces. We become better people in relatedness. When we allow other people to be who they are, and not who we want them to be, we take a step towards true freedom, and the highest form of love.

(See my related article, Asian American Women Artists Exploding Stereotypes. Lum’s work is featured on This American Life here (link is external).)

© 2013 Ravi Chandra, M.D. All rights reserved.

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10 Ridiculously Offensive Things People Tell Asian Women On OkCupid
The Tumblr Creepy White Guys collects messages from “creepy white guys with Asian fetishes.”

posted on Apr. 8, 2013, at 2:01 p.m.
Heben Nigatu
BuzzFeed Staff

From the Tumblr’s description:
Every Asian girl who has ever tried online dating, whether on POF, OKCupid, or Match has experienced it: messages from Creepy White Guys with Asian fetishes. I just got back into the dating scene and am already being bombarded with some absolutely horrifying messages. I’ve collected some of the best ones here, and I welcome any additions to my collection.

1. There’s this guy who lost his job.



2. There’s this wealthy and distinguished man who only wants the best.



3. There’s this guy who knows how to treat a woman right.



4. There’s this guy whose “friend” probably does not exist.



5. There’s this guy who wants to know why you’re so scared.



6. There’s this guy who just wants Asian women to know what Asian women prefer.



7. There’s this big strong dude.



8. There’s this guy who is working on his whatever-Asian-language-this-is-supposed-to-be.



9. There’s this guy who just wants to be like all the other successful white men.



10. And this lovely three part exchange. What do I even highlight?!?

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How To Spot A Man With Yellow Fever



I’m not referring to the disease carried by mosquitoes in tropical regions – I’m talking about the sexual obsession felt by a non-Asian male towards Asians of the opposite gender. Yellow Fever is more of a social disease.

Carriers of Yellow Fever are obsessed with Asian women to the point where they rarely, if ever, date or enter into a sexual relationship with any other women. They actively seek out Asian women to satisfy their romantic and sexual desires.

You may know them as Asiaphile, Asian Fetish, Rice Kings, Rice Lovers or Rice Chasers. Regardless of what you call them, they all have one thing in common – love for Asian pussy.

You may know one, you might even have the fever – but for some ladies, these gentlemen are a little difficult to weed out. Here are a few sure fire ways on how to spot a man with yellow fever – and how do I know? Hell, I married one.

He is the Token White Guy in a group of Asians

This is one of the most obvious signals of yellow fever – you spot a big group of Asian guys, and he is the token white guy in the mix. Before you think: wow, he is so multicultural – he’s not. Rice Chasers surround themselves with Asian dudes because there is a high possibility that these guys have Asian girlfriends. Also – being the only white guy in the group gives him an additional advantage because he has no competition.

He Initiates Conversations in an Asian Language

When a white dude tries to pick you up with “Konnichiwa!” or “Ne hen piao liang” (you are very beautiful) – you know he’s got the fever. These dudes have invested the time to learn the language in order to impress the Asian ladies, but frankly, it’s a little insulting. Opening with that line assumes that the girl cannot speak English. It’s kind of the equivalent of an Asian girl rolling up to white guy and saying “Top of the morning to you, sir!” Creepy, right?

You also run the risk of humiliating yourself by speaking the wrong language to a girl of a different nationality, unless you of course have a very well trained eye. Even I cannot often tell the difference between a Chinese and Japanese girl. And don’t even get me started if you mistakenly refer to a Taiwanese girl as Chinese! If you really are invested in the fever, do some fucking research.

His Dream is to Live in Asia

Living in Asia for a man with yellow fever is much like letting an alcoholic loose at an open bar. It doesn’t matter if you’re an unemployed, broke, living in your parent’s basement virgin who couldn’t hit it in your home town. Once this man hits Asia, he is immediately transformed into some sort of Adonis with gorgeous Asian women at his beck and call. White guys in Asia are often treated like gods – they don’t wait in lines to get into a club, women throw themselves at their feet and they even get photographed like they’re celebrities.

Men who are considered losers in their home country move to Asia in order to feel ‘re-masculated’ because they can experience the feelings of power and dominance which they lack in their homeland. Asian women cater to these fantasies because being seen with a Western man is considered a status symbol. It’s a win-win situation!

He Watches Asian Porn

Don’t get me started on the amount of times my husband has left ‘hardcore Asian porn’ in the Google search toolbar. I say if he is fantasizing about it, or he has suggested that you introduce an Asian lady into your sex life, he has the fever.

He Suffers from Masculinity Issues

The stereotype of the Asian girl is like the ideal woman – she’s soft and submissive and she cooks and she cleans and all that shit. She feeds into a man’s desire to keep a woman in her place.

The appeal of an Asian woman for western males lies largely in the fantasy-indulging experience that engenders a feeling of dominance and masculinity which may be lacking in their own culture and lifestyle. Because Asian women historically come from a background where their job is to traditionally serve men, the stereotype of the docile and submissive Asian woman feeds into this fucked up fantasy.

He Dated Other Asians

Lastly – take a look at the list of his previous girlfriends: if more than 2 of them are Asian, then he has the fever. But don’t worry – I’m sure he loves you for your personality, not because of your resemblance to Lucy Liu.

@_Trophy_Wife | Elite.

www.LifeofaTrophyWife.com

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Anna Akana's "Yellow Fever" Video Explains The Exact Problem with Racial Fetishization



EMMA CUETO
July 30, 2014 LIFESTYLE

Everyone knows that sexual attraction is weird and unpredictable and not really within conscious control most of the time, but when it comes to white dudes who only want to date Asian women, let's be real: it's creepy. And to break down why, actress, filmmaker, and vlogger Anna Akana has a great new video that explains why so called "Yellow Fever" is not a good thing. And unfortunately, the world really needs this tutorial.

As Akana explains in the video, when a guy can decide whether or not he wants to date you based solely on your skin color, that's shallow at best. At worst, it's offensive, especially when it's a guy who's interested in Asian girls because of the stereotype that Asian women are submissive. Way to be racist and sexist at the same time, guys.

Now, like I said, sexual attraction is largely uncontrollable. But how you respond to your sexual preferences isn't. Men who find Asian women attractive are still capable of treating Asian women as individuals, rather than lumping them all into one category and labeling it "sexy." But unfortunately, a lot of guys who are really into Asian women are also really into the stereotypes about Asian women. And that's when "yellow fever" comes in.

When men have yellow fever, Akana explains, "they don't give a fuck about who you really are. The idea of you is enough." Which is never a good basis for a relationship — or any type of human interaction, really — and is especially bad when "the idea of you" happens to involve racist, sexist stereotypes. Really, if we could stop exoticising Asian women, that would be great.

As frustrating as it surely is to be on the receiving end of this sort of treatment, however, Akana manages to keep a sense of humor while breaking the whole thing down. So check it out.