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Responsibility/Adulthood/Maturity; Can all handle the responsibilitry
Topic Started: Aug 26 2012, 01:03 PM (313 Views)
reddgirl64

Cis,

My daughter and I were discussing some old case studies she had, and I commented that people just can't be that stupid. She replied, they are...and will continue to be.

She stated that most of her cases dealt with women staying with a mate/spouse, even if it meant losing their children. The children, having witness abuse (physical/verbal), alcoholism,drug use,....the mothers stayed, no matter what effect this would have on her children.

She had these women begging her, to keep their kids, not because they loved them, but because without them, they would lose many of their benefits, that came with having kids. Others stated that, they wanted their kids to have their father....

I decided to skype my friend, who's a professor at Clark U., and ask him some questions,

1) Why do some believe, you need a man/father in order to rear productive children?
2) What's missing in some women's brains, that they chose abusive relationships,with a man, over their own offspring?
3) Are we seeing, the results of the decision of these women in state of most AA's?

His reply to #1, was, women have been raising children since the dawn of time, alone! This is a propaganda set in place, to make some blacks (mainly men) feel that they have 'missed out on something'. The concept/idea alone, when accepted, works to perfection. Men have always left the rearing of children to women, they have never felt this was, part of their role in life. Since the indoctrination, most now feel, if they don't have both, then they are lacking....

2) This was due to the desire to be wanted, and needed. A child's dependency on a parent, is inherited. Most babies will bond with, those giving care. But, to have a man, need/want you, means their place is solidified. It gives them meaning, and worth, but the bigger question is, to whom?

3) Yes. Why do so many black men yell this statement, 'but I didn't have a father'? As this is the reason, for them accepting any responsibility for their actions.

Give me your accessments on the questions. I happen to agree with most of his replies, my daughter to some extent. She feels most just don't want to be held accountable.

A personal note regarding my child:

She has been in a relationship with a man, since she was 21. He has three children, by his ex-wife. When my daughter decided to adopt, he was 'angry'. He felt that if she wanted children, then why couldn't they have children together?

My daughter decided to leave the relationship, and is now a single women, raising two boys alone!

She got a lot of grief on her decision. Your thoughts on her decision..
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Snidely Whiplash
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Quote:
 
1) Why do some believe, you need a man/father in order to rear productive children?
2) What's missing in some women's brains, that they chose abusive relationships,with a man, over their own offspring?
3) Are we seeing, the results of the decision of these women in state of most AA's?


1 - A man/father is not a necessity but it is best. Either in the western sense of a marriage or in the older traditional communal senes, ie uncles, grandfathers, friends, etc.

2 - Far be it from me to know the complexities of a womn's mind B-) I will again say though that we are 2 halves of a whole, men and women. Men are just as guilty of doing crazy shit for the women they love and/or want.

3 - Well yes. For good or ill, these decisions will have some impact.
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