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Friendships.....; What makes them, what breaks them?
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Topic Started: Aug 1 2012, 04:09 PM (1,248 Views)
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VoiceofReason
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Aug 1 2012, 08:02 PM
Post #31
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- Sari
- Aug 1 2012, 07:18 PM
- cisslybee2012
- Aug 1 2012, 07:08 PM
It's simply - has my g/f overstepped a line, in spite of she thinking she was really doing the right thing? And she's unapologetic about it. It's YOUR line. Apparently she crossed it based on your reaction.
I am a little suspect when someone does something unethical, immoral, illegal or impolite, supposedly for my own good. I think good comes from good.
She said you are too nice to give the person the tongue-lashing they deserve, in her opinion. In my opinion, the manner one chooses as to how one might prefer to cultivate ones relationships, is no one else's business. I think she was disrespectful to you as well as the person she verbally assaulted.
Now, if she loves you, and you want to keep her around, hopefully she understands why your opinion is legitimate, and why it was improper for her to read personal information. Responding just makes it worse.
Are you sure she doesn't have a crush on you?
And you know what else? Her response sounds really over the top, unless she had additional information which made her form an opinion about the person. In that case, if you told her negative stuff which fed her impression of that person, you should cut her a break. Because you helped create that response.
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beserker
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Aug 1 2012, 08:24 PM
Post #32
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- truthisrespect
- Aug 1 2012, 08:02 PM
- Sari
- Aug 1 2012, 07:18 PM
- cisslybee2012
- Aug 1 2012, 07:08 PM
It's simply - has my g/f overstepped a line, in spite of she thinking she was really doing the right thing? And she's unapologetic about it.
It's YOUR line. Apparently she crossed it based on your reaction. I am a little suspect when someone does something unethical, immoral, illegal or impolite, supposedly for my own good. I think good comes from good. She said you are too nice to give the person the tongue-lashing they deserve, in her opinion. In my opinion, the manner one chooses as to how one might prefer to cultivate ones relationships, is no one else's business. I think she was disrespectful to you as well as the person she verbally assaulted. Now, if she loves you, and you want to keep her around, hopefully she understands why your opinion is legitimate, and why it was improper for her to read personal information. Responding just makes it worse. Are you sure she doesn't have a crush on you? And you know what else? Her response sounds really over the top, unless she had additional information which made her form an opinion about the person. In that case, if you told her negative stuff which fed her impression of that person, you've got to cut her a break. Because you helped create that response. true word .....
but u miss her tangential way of saying..`help i love my friend , i think she dosen`t respect me because she thinks i got jello-knees, how do i firmly disapprove her assumptions, make sure she dosen`t do it AND still retain my friend with things as BEFORE and WITHOUT dat disrespect thing"
good luck seems like a long list..
but here goes
#lay the BIG-guilt stuff on her crazy ass .....`` i love u as a friend but i can`t continue loving u because u don`t respect my approach of doing things blah blah... u women are good at that shit
#explain how she hurt your feeling..... u are not weak but u believe in doing things a CERTAIN way and u are shocked she didn`t UNDERSTAND your NATURE of approaching issues wouldn`t see the point of been friends ... if u can`t trust her
the above 2 counts are enough to coat her with enough guilt to sink her ass
if she is YOUR friend she will make AMENDS ....
amends like at least giving you a heads-up before she kicks it OVERDRIVE next time..... that is the best outcome
dat biyotch is CRAZY and she ain`t gonna change 100% for NOBODY
Edited by beserker, Aug 1 2012, 08:25 PM.
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VoiceofReason
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Aug 1 2012, 08:28 PM
Post #33
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- beserker
- Aug 1 2012, 08:24 PM
- truthisrespect
- Aug 1 2012, 08:02 PM
- Sari
- Aug 1 2012, 07:18 PM
- cisslybee2012
- Aug 1 2012, 07:08 PM
#lay the BIG-guilt stuff on her crazy ass .....`` i love u as a friend but i can`t continue loving u because u don`t respect my approach of doing things blah blah... u women are good at that shit #explain how she hurt your feeling..... u are not weak but u believe in doing things a CERTAIN way and u are shocked she didn`t UNDERSTAND your NATURE of approaching issues wouldn`t see the point of been friends ... if u can`t trust her the above 2 counts are enough to coat her with enough guilt to sink her ass
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G. A. W.
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Aug 1 2012, 09:19 PM
Post #34
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- beserker
- Aug 1 2012, 08:24 PM
- truthisrespect
- Aug 1 2012, 08:02 PM
- Sari
- Aug 1 2012, 07:18 PM
- cisslybee2012
- Aug 1 2012, 07:08 PM
It's simply - has my g/f overstepped a line, in spite of she thinking she was really doing the right thing? And she's unapologetic about it.
It's YOUR line. Apparently she crossed it based on your reaction. I am a little suspect when someone does something unethical, immoral, illegal or impolite, supposedly for my own good. I think good comes from good. She said you are too nice to give the person the tongue-lashing they deserve, in her opinion. In my opinion, the manner one chooses as to how one might prefer to cultivate ones relationships, is no one else's business. I think she was disrespectful to you as well as the person she verbally assaulted. Now, if she loves you, and you want to keep her around, hopefully she understands why your opinion is legitimate, and why it was improper for her to read personal information. Responding just makes it worse. Are you sure she doesn't have a crush on you? And you know what else? Her response sounds really over the top, unless she had additional information which made her form an opinion about the person. In that case, if you told her negative stuff which fed her impression of that person, you've got to cut her a break. Because you helped create that response.
true word ..... but u miss her tangential way of saying..`help i love my friend , i think she dosen`t respect me because she thinks i got jello-knees, how do i firmly disapprove her assumptions, make sure she dosen`t do it AND still retain my friend with things as BEFORE and WITHOUT dat disrespect thing" good luck seems like a long list.. but here goes #lay the BIG-guilt stuff on her crazy ass .....`` i love u as a friend but i can`t continue loving u because u don`t respect my approach of doing things blah blah... u women are good at that shit #explain how she hurt your feeling..... u are not weak but u believe in doing things a CERTAIN way and u are shocked she didn`t UNDERSTAND your NATURE of approaching issues wouldn`t see the point of been friends ... if u can`t trust her the above 2 counts are enough to coat her with enough guilt to sink her ass if she is YOUR friend she will make AMENDS .... amends like at least giving you a heads-up before she kicks it OVERDRIVE next time..... that is the best outcome dat biyotch is CRAZY and she ain`t gonna change 100% for NOBODY
Ok, good point, indeed!
LOL
@ Truth - I never spoke ill of the original text person to my g/f, not EVER.......so that's not the issue.
In reality - Bezerker has it : she disrespected me... she disrespected the person who text me, and she over stepped a line.
And ... she knows there is going to be a conversation taking place when I get home!
Just where that conversation goes, I'm not sure..........
And I was curious what others on here.. how you all would handle the situation....
So thank you, all, for your candid answers.. I always appreciate and love true dialog and points of view.....
You're all great, indeed.
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Doctor Magnus Warlock
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Aug 1 2012, 09:32 PM
Post #35
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Believe it or not, I am a very private person.
I will blow up in a minute if someone violated my privacy.
In my case, it is people being nosy.
People have always wondered: why is Sam so mysterious?
The friend should be forgiven, if she expresses some type of remorse.
She should regret invading your privacy. I understand if she does not regret giving the other person "the business".
She did have the best of intentions.
Sari never mentioned the other person being actually abusive toward her.
This person seemed to be a "phone-freak".
People who have emo-powered meltdowns over text & voice mail are endless sources of laughter.
If anything, the two of should just laugh at the pathetic slob.
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VoiceofReason
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Aug 1 2012, 10:24 PM
Post #36
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- sam_wilson
- Aug 1 2012, 09:32 PM
This person seemed to be a "phone-freak".
People who have emo-powered meltdowns over text & voice mail are endless sources of laughter.
If anything, the two of should just laugh at the pathetic slob.
I agree. Angry texts or angry voicemail messages make me recall the angry snarling message "I will not be ignored!" from the movie where the other woman boiled the family rabbit.
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WonderWoman
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Aug 2 2012, 01:02 AM
Post #37
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- Sari
- Aug 1 2012, 04:09 PM
Question of the day for me is:
Is your best girl / boy friend (Friend....not lover or love interest here) unforgivable if she / he reads your text messages off of your cell phone? Oh wait, not only does she / he read them, but decides the content is not to her / his liking so decides to RESPOND!!!! All of this, without your knowledge?
Now - background info first: the text sent to me "were" rude and selfish. But does that give said best friend the "right" to read / respond without my permission? I'm thinking it's a matter of breach of trust vs. she was only trying to protect or take up for my character and integrity...
But where does one draw the lines?
Positive issue: my friend admitted what she did, she was honest with me about it upfront....... and she did it with my best interest at heart...
Negative issue: She's actually caused more drama / hardship than she thought would happen........
She should not have done that without your permission. Us mean people are very protective of our loved ones, especially the ones who are really nice and sweet but she was still out of line and there is no excuse. I've spoken for my cousin but it's with her permission.
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WonderWoman
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Aug 2 2012, 01:03 AM
Post #38
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- Sari
- Aug 1 2012, 04:25 PM
- cisslybee2012
- Aug 1 2012, 04:14 PM
Gee Sari...
You don't appreciate your friend having your back.
But if you don't want anybody to read your messages, then don't make it available to them to read.
Cissly - OMG if you only KNEW. If you only....... KNEW. But you're right! I shouldn't keep information out for someone to have access to if I didn't want it read, yes, indeed........ But it was a rush of events... packing.... traveling.... making arrangements... it was all rush rush........... No excuses... BUT - yes, she does have my back. She's a very aggressive woman.... and so different than I am....... and handles things differently than I do...... She emailed me.... saying she was sorry she angered me, but she was NOT sorry for what she text back to the original sender!! LOL She's like that.... In other words, if she had it to do over again, she wouldn't have changed anything! Sari, she was completely out of line.
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WonderWoman
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Aug 2 2012, 01:12 AM
Post #39
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- Sari
- Aug 1 2012, 07:01 PM
Cissly is right, I'm obviously not telling the whole story. However, Cissly - you have an uncanny way of making issues out to be about how evil and wicked men are... this is NOT the time to do that. I'm just saying.
And my situation is and has been from the beginning: if your best mate was at your house checking on your house / animals / etc.. while you were on a traveling escapade... and heard the phone ring... she answers it......then after explaining to the caller I'm not home, I don't have my cell phone, I'm out of the country, why I'm gone, etc...... then she sees I have X amount of number of texts..and reads them.
Not only did she read them, she text the individual BACK and was horrible to this person; apparently for being horrible to me first.
So the issue is: She read my texts then she replied and told this person he / she was an idiot, they didn't deserve my friendship, she called him / her a delusional arrogant selfish defensive dumbass. She called this person a liar! And she said this person was "infantile" because he / she refused to discuss (me) in an adult manner... And she called herself a "gatekeeper" to access to ME and if the OT didn't like it - that was their problem and they could go F themselves..... (yea, she has a mouth on her.)
So she's stepped in between two friends... who obviously were having a private beef with each other...for the OT to be texting the selfish things to me in the 1st place....
So - was she wrong to defend me? No. Was she wrong to try and protect my integrity? No. Was she wrong in "how" she handled it? Possibly.........that's my question.
And she wouldn't have discussed this with me 1st.... because she claims I'm "too nice."
You don't have to explain none of that, your friend was out of line, she went behind your back and started something that maybe you were not ready to deal with or you would deal with it in your own way. I get offended for my friends but I would never go behind their backs to cause them difficulty but I will let them know that they need to do something about their situation and they would do the same for me. I would be totally and completely upset if they did something like respond to someone in a text, email, telephone message without my permission and it would have nothing to do with the person on the other end of the situation. It would be about respecting my privacy, it could have been something I didn't want anyone else to ever see or know, something personal to me.
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WonderWoman
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Aug 2 2012, 01:14 AM
Post #40
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- beserker
- Aug 1 2012, 08:24 PM
- truthisrespect
- Aug 1 2012, 08:02 PM
- Sari
- Aug 1 2012, 07:18 PM
- cisslybee2012
- Aug 1 2012, 07:08 PM
It's simply - has my g/f overstepped a line, in spite of she thinking she was really doing the right thing? And she's unapologetic about it.
It's YOUR line. Apparently she crossed it based on your reaction. I am a little suspect when someone does something unethical, immoral, illegal or impolite, supposedly for my own good. I think good comes from good. She said you are too nice to give the person the tongue-lashing they deserve, in her opinion. In my opinion, the manner one chooses as to how one might prefer to cultivate ones relationships, is no one else's business. I think she was disrespectful to you as well as the person she verbally assaulted. Now, if she loves you, and you want to keep her around, hopefully she understands why your opinion is legitimate, and why it was improper for her to read personal information. Responding just makes it worse. Are you sure she doesn't have a crush on you? And you know what else? Her response sounds really over the top, unless she had additional information which made her form an opinion about the person. In that case, if you told her negative stuff which fed her impression of that person, you've got to cut her a break. Because you helped create that response.
true word ..... but u miss her tangential way of saying..`help i love my friend , i think she dosen`t respect me because she thinks i got jello-knees, how do i firmly disapprove her assumptions, make sure she dosen`t do it AND still retain my friend with things as BEFORE and WITHOUT dat disrespect thing" good luck seems like a long list.. but here goes #lay the BIG-guilt stuff on her crazy ass .....`` i love u as a friend but i can`t continue loving u because u don`t respect my approach of doing things blah blah... u women are good at that shit #explain how she hurt your feeling..... u are not weak but u believe in doing things a CERTAIN way and u are shocked she didn`t UNDERSTAND your NATURE of approaching issues wouldn`t see the point of been friends ... if u can`t trust her the above 2 counts are enough to coat her with enough guilt to sink her ass if she is YOUR friend she will make AMENDS .... amends like at least giving you a heads-up before she kicks it OVERDRIVE next time..... that is the best outcome dat biyotch is CRAZY and she ain`t gonna change 100% for NOBODY I like your way with words concerning this matter, Beserker.
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