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Friendships.....; What makes them, what breaks them?
Topic Started: Aug 1 2012, 04:09 PM (1,247 Views)
G. A. W.
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Question of the day for me is:

Is your best girl / boy friend (Friend....not lover or love interest here) unforgivable if she / he reads your text messages off of your cell phone? Oh wait, not only does she / he read them, but decides the content is not to her / his liking so decides to RESPOND!!!! All of this, without your knowledge?

Now - background info first: the text sent to me "were" rude and selfish. But does that give said best friend the "right" to read / respond without my permission? I'm thinking it's a matter of breach of trust vs. she was only trying to protect or take up for my character and integrity...

But where does one draw the lines?

Positive issue: my friend admitted what she did, she was honest with me about it upfront....... and she did it with my best interest at heart...

Negative issue: She's actually caused more drama / hardship than she thought would happen........

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cisslybee2012
The REBEL
Gee Sari...

You don't appreciate your friend having your back.

But if you don't want anybody to read your messages, then don't make it available to them to read.
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G. A. W.
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cisslybee2012
Aug 1 2012, 04:14 PM
Gee Sari...

You don't appreciate your friend having your back.

But if you don't want anybody to read your messages, then don't make it available to them to read.
Cissly - OMG if you only KNEW. If you only....... KNEW.

But you're right! I shouldn't keep information out for someone to have access to if I didn't want it read, yes, indeed........

But it was a rush of events... packing.... traveling.... making arrangements... it was all rush rush...........

No excuses...

BUT - yes, she does have my back. She's a very aggressive woman.... and so different than I am....... and handles things differently than I do......

She emailed me.... saying she was sorry she angered me, but she was NOT sorry for what she text back to the original sender!! LOL She's like that....

In other words, if she had it to do over again, she wouldn't have changed anything!
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cisslybee2012
The REBEL
Sari
Aug 1 2012, 04:25 PM
cisslybee2012
Aug 1 2012, 04:14 PM
Gee Sari...

You don't appreciate your friend having your back.

But if you don't want anybody to read your messages, then don't make it available to them to read.
Cissly - OMG if you only KNEW. If you only....... KNEW.

But you're right! I shouldn't keep information out for someone to have access to if I didn't want it read, yes, indeed........

But it was a rush of events... packing.... traveling.... making arrangements... it was all rush rush...........

No excuses...

BUT - yes, she does have my back. She's a very aggressive woman.... and so different than I am....... and handles things differently than I do......

She emailed me.... saying she was sorry she angered me, but she was NOT sorry for what she text back to the original sender!! LOL She's like that....

In other words, if she had it to do over again, she wouldn't have changed anything!
You friend sounds like somebody I could really kick it with. :D
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G. A. W.
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cisslybee2012
Aug 1 2012, 04:32 PM
Sari
Aug 1 2012, 04:25 PM
cisslybee2012
Aug 1 2012, 04:14 PM
Gee Sari...

You don't appreciate your friend having your back.

But if you don't want anybody to read your messages, then don't make it available to them to read.
Cissly - OMG if you only KNEW. If you only....... KNEW.

But you're right! I shouldn't keep information out for someone to have access to if I didn't want it read, yes, indeed........

But it was a rush of events... packing.... traveling.... making arrangements... it was all rush rush...........

No excuses...

BUT - yes, she does have my back. She's a very aggressive woman.... and so different than I am....... and handles things differently than I do......

She emailed me.... saying she was sorry she angered me, but she was NOT sorry for what she text back to the original sender!! LOL She's like that....

In other words, if she had it to do over again, she wouldn't have changed anything!
You friend sounds like somebody I could really kick it with. :D
You know, I think I like you so much because you remind me of her in some ways....... (not all ways..!) but in some ways you two are the same....

And I love her to death. She's my polar opposite.... you know how you and I don't agree on so many things? She and I are like that..... but damn we love each other dearly....

She's got a temper from hell and I'm usually calm and diplomatic (that's what she says I am....) and she's always right! LOL

You two would either really get along or hate each other! LOL



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cisslybee2012
The REBEL
Sari
Aug 1 2012, 04:39 PM
cisslybee2012
Aug 1 2012, 04:32 PM
Sari
Aug 1 2012, 04:25 PM
cisslybee2012
Aug 1 2012, 04:14 PM
Gee Sari...

You don't appreciate your friend having your back.

But if you don't want anybody to read your messages, then don't make it available to them to read.
Cissly - OMG if you only KNEW. If you only....... KNEW.

But you're right! I shouldn't keep information out for someone to have access to if I didn't want it read, yes, indeed........

But it was a rush of events... packing.... traveling.... making arrangements... it was all rush rush...........

No excuses...

BUT - yes, she does have my back. She's a very aggressive woman.... and so different than I am....... and handles things differently than I do......

She emailed me.... saying she was sorry she angered me, but she was NOT sorry for what she text back to the original sender!! LOL She's like that....

In other words, if she had it to do over again, she wouldn't have changed anything!
You friend sounds like somebody I could really kick it with. :D
You know, I think I like you so much because you remind me of her in some ways....... (not all ways..!) but in some ways you two are the same....

And I love her to death. She's my polar opposite.... you know how you and I don't agree on so many things? She and I are like that..... but damn we love each other dearly....

She's got a temper from hell and I'm usually calm and diplomatic (that's what she says I am....) and she's always right! LOL

You two would either really get along or hate each other! LOL



Possibly.

But I just adore women who stand up to men, and protect themselves, their children, their family, and their friends.

Women like that are true warriors, and they're sacred. :)
Edited by cisslybee2012, Aug 1 2012, 04:51 PM.
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VoiceofReason

Sari
Aug 1 2012, 04:09 PM
Question of the day for me is:

Is your best girl / boy friend (Friend....not lover or love interest here) unforgivable if she / he reads your text messages off of your cell phone? Oh wait, not only does she / he read them, but decides the content is not to her / his liking so decides to RESPOND!!!! All of this, without your knowledge?

Now - background info first: the text sent to me "were" rude and selfish. But does that give said best friend the "right" to read / respond without my permission? I'm thinking it's a matter of breach of trust vs. she was only trying to protect or take up for my character and integrity...

But where does one draw the lines?

Positive issue: my friend admitted what she did, she was honest with me about it upfront....... and she did it with my best interest at heart...

Negative issue: She's actually caused more drama / hardship than she thought would happen........

For me, it would've been crossing the line.

As far as her having my back......
no, not like that.

There's no reason you should have to lock your phone or put personal things aside because your friend is visiting.....unless, Unless you know she's a nosy rosy and you've accepted this about her.

If you were fully aware she might do something like that and you left your stuff out, then you volunteered for it. You can't complain, IMO.

If this was out of the blue, in my world, she violated my trust. Would 'fessing up make it better? Not for me. I don't like folks messing with my stuff.

I have a good friend, who is very aggressive, who would have my back and curse out (and more) anyone who treated me badly, or said something inappropriate. She'd never look at private stuff. But if I were to have told her, she might ask me if it's ok she get involved.
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VoiceofReason

Sari
Aug 1 2012, 04:25 PM
cisslybee2012
Aug 1 2012, 04:14 PM
Gee Sari...

You don't appreciate your friend having your back.

But if you don't want anybody to read your messages, then don't make it available to them to read.
Cissly - OMG if you only KNEW. If you only....... KNEW.

But you're right! I shouldn't keep information out for someone to have access to if I didn't want it read, yes, indeed........

But it was a rush of events... packing.... traveling.... making arrangements... it was all rush rush...........

No excuses...

BUT - yes, she does have my back. She's a very aggressive woman.... and so different than I am....... and handles things differently than I do......

She emailed me.... saying she was sorry she angered me, but she was NOT sorry for what she text back to the original sender!! LOL She's like that....

In other words, if she had it to do over again, she wouldn't have changed anything!
I probably would have told my friend....

"Listen, I'm a grown ass woman. I don't need you to fight any battles for me. Now, if shits going down and I tell you about it, that means I want your opinion, your input, maybe your help. But short of that, you overstepping. And I'd appreciate it, in the future, leave my crap to me, ok? Don't get it twisted, I love you.".

Yeah, I'd forgive her.
Edited by VoiceofReason, Aug 1 2012, 05:07 PM.
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cisslybee2012
The REBEL
truthisrespect
Aug 1 2012, 04:59 PM
Sari
Aug 1 2012, 04:25 PM
cisslybee2012
Aug 1 2012, 04:14 PM
Gee Sari...

You don't appreciate your friend having your back.

But if you don't want anybody to read your messages, then don't make it available to them to read.
Cissly - OMG if you only KNEW. If you only....... KNEW.

But you're right! I shouldn't keep information out for someone to have access to if I didn't want it read, yes, indeed........

But it was a rush of events... packing.... traveling.... making arrangements... it was all rush rush...........

No excuses...

BUT - yes, she does have my back. She's a very aggressive woman.... and so different than I am....... and handles things differently than I do......

She emailed me.... saying she was sorry she angered me, but she was NOT sorry for what she text back to the original sender!! LOL She's like that....

In other words, if she had it to do over again, she wouldn't have changed anything!
I probably would have told my friend....

"Listen, I'm a grown ass woman. I don't need you to fight any battles for me. Now, if shits going down and I tell you about it, that means I want your opinion, your input, maybe your help. But short of that, you overstepping. And I'd appreciate it, in the future, leave my crap to me, ok? Don't get it twisted, I love you.".

Yeah, I'd forgive her.
You'd be doing what Sari did.

Attacking your friend for having your back to protect the ass who disrespected you.

Women do that all the time.

Many just don't feel right unless a man is abusing them. And they will have no one interfering with that need. A man's bullshit is more valuable to them than friends or family in their corner.
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cisslybee2012
The REBEL
A friend of mine a while back told me the same thing. She don't need no one to fight her battles, but when her man got tired of her and just up and dumped her and moved to another state to better himself without even inviting her to come with him, she quit her job and enrolled in a sleep away college in the town he relocated to just to follow his heels.

She's quick to let her friends know they don't mean shit to her, but a man using her means the world to her. And there's nothing she won't do for a man to turn her out.
Edited by cisslybee2012, Aug 1 2012, 05:32 PM.
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