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| Men problems | |
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| Topic Started: Jul 14 2012, 06:49 PM (872 Views) | |
| WonderWoman | Jul 14 2012, 06:49 PM Post #1 |
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Can some of you intelligent creatures explain how a woman without a man have men problems? Won't go into explanations will say that I've explained my stance, they have explained their stance and we agreed that we respect each other stances, but somehow things keep railroading into something else. My cousin told me that I should lie, ignore and play them off but I respect them too much for that but my way is not working (honesty) and I have a lot of history with them. What do I do because really and truly I am not bothered, been there done that and know what it's about? I'm more or less very happy with my current situation, not really looking for anyone but if the right person come along then I'm going to flow with it, other than that I'm enjoying being a parent and living my life. I'm trying to be and do right by people because I want everything good to happen in our lives. These guys are intelligent, sexy, pretty well off financially so they don't have problems getting women, I truly believe it's a situation of wanting someone who don't want you, it's a challenge. They are also really surprising me with such a long pursuit and I guess they just don't believe me even though I've stood by every word I've said. I don't get it and they are laying it on thick. |
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| Doctor Magnus Warlock | Jul 14 2012, 07:17 PM Post #2 |
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That is odd, indeed. For me, I have endless respect for a woman that splashes me with the cold liquid of reality. Yes, even when their honesty does not coincide with my own plans. Honest women are priceless time-savers for logical men. Honest women allow men to stay, and go with the flow, or leave. So, when these guys still bug you about wanting things from you that you have made clear that you are unwilling or incapable of giving, that may be a sign to create some space from those chumps. Some guys cannot enjoy a relationship unless it is on their own terms, unfortunately. Even based on outside appearances, the relationship as it stands looks more than feasible for both parties. Because it was not their idea, they have a problem with it, and look for ways to change things. Egos can get in the way. WW, you may have a infestation of clingy men in your stable. Some women go through a batch of lying men. Some women go through a batch of cheating men. Some women go through a batch of clingy men. WW...it really depends on your tolerance for those guys, and their fail attempts at the art of woo. I don't see them suddenly saying: baby, I was tripping, let's just enjoy what we have, and try not to change it into something it is not. Clingy men do become love-sick, whiny men eventually. They may start to see you as a cold ice queen that does not see a good thing (a clingy, whiny man) in front of them. You really don't want to deal with Sausage Therapy Session veterans. You may need to empty your stable, and start over. Edited by Doctor Magnus Warlock, Jul 14 2012, 08:59 PM.
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| VoiceofReason | Jul 14 2012, 07:35 PM Post #3 |
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Interesting. |
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| WonderWoman | Jul 14 2012, 11:32 PM Post #4 |
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Sam I think it is the history that we share, I've known them since I was a teen. They have lived their lives marriage/kids/divorces the whole nine and I have grown and lived mine too. I feel that I have changed a lot since the young girl and then a young woman, I will admit, that when things were good they were good and the break-ups were not bad break-ups. I've been honest in my feelings of love and in my feelings of not being in love anymore. I've been honest in my feelings of my belief system, where I am going and why and that I am pretty much o.k at this stage in my life without an every day man. I'm beginning to get frustrated because I care sincerely but I don't want to feel like I'm being harassed. I'm not trying to be mean but we've had the same conversations a few times and I haven't changed from my stance or perspective. You might be right, maybe we can't be just friends who care about each other and want the best for each other. I think it's the history we've shared over the years and the fact that I am single and celibate, which is not going to change any time soon. We tried, it didn't work and it's done, now we need to all move on from this and try to be happy in our lives as friends. I will say this, they make me not want to get involved with anyone, it's too much of a hassle and I seek after peace for me and my household first and foremost. |
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| WonderWoman | Jul 14 2012, 11:41 PM Post #5 |
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I can see egos being the cause of this whole fiasco that is going on right now. One of them was my first everything, the other one was my second boyfriend, both are older than me by 7 and 10 years. They both have grown kids, I don't and one even has two grands while I'm still the mother of a young son. Like I've stated it's the history that is getting in the way, I know this but I'm trying to figure out what triggered this situation this time around. |
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| cisslybee2012 | Jul 14 2012, 11:44 PM Post #6 |
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The REBEL
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You gotta do what you gotta do. It's your life you gotta live, and nobody else'. What your cousins are doing isn't what you're about. |
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| cisslybee2012 | Jul 14 2012, 11:56 PM Post #7 |
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The REBEL
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Typically when we start over, we start the same cycle over. |
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| WonderWoman | Jul 15 2012, 12:15 AM Post #8 |
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I know that I do CisslyB, it's just getting to me a little bit, is all. I put everything in it's box and I thought that this box was closed and stored but it's not. |
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| G. A. W. | Jul 15 2012, 08:06 AM Post #9 |
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Ahhhhhhhhhh, WW, the art of relationships........... ** sigh ** I don't have much advice that is more than cliche....... Respect, mutual connection, attraction, and a deep desire to give to the person........and receiving is as important as giving........ So I'm learning....... And Loving yourself is paramount.... Edited by G. A. W., Jul 15 2012, 08:06 AM.
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| VoiceofReason | Jul 15 2012, 09:59 AM Post #10 |
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If you've already told them/him honestly that you're not interested in what he's interested in, I don't see any further problem. If he tries to conversate about it, I'd go the "we've already discussed it" route, and "if you're trying to continue down this road, you obviously don't truly respect me". As far as what triggered it....maybe you didn't put your foot down hard enough in fear of damaging the friendship. A true friendship can handle the truth. Edited by VoiceofReason, Jul 15 2012, 10:02 AM.
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4:50 AM Jul 11