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Loyality and Fidelity
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Topic Started: Nov 30 2010, 07:42 PM (3,062 Views)
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LastMan
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Dec 7 2010, 12:02 PM
Post #41
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- kennyinbmore
- Dec 7 2010, 12:00 PM
- LastMan
- Dec 7 2010, 11:56 AM
You don't have to remain single. All you have to do is be discriminating in your choice of woman.
I like variety, hence the staying single thing. Having only one woman would bore me to tears LOL...on that note I hear you.
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negroplease
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Dec 7 2010, 12:30 PM
Post #42
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- tayter80
- Dec 7 2010, 12:16 AM
It's not about letting your spouse do whatever or whomever they like Black Repub., It's about if you can forgive your spouse if he/she makes such a huge mistake and they are truly remorseful about it. I agree with SUA and Kenny about how marriages a couple generations ago weren't as successful as we like to think they were(I've seen many bitter older couples growing up)but my grandparents situation was not about "as long as he is taking care of me and my kids, it's OK". This affair happened when both my father and uncle were grown and out of the house, so there were no young kids to think of. My grandmother could've easily just left, but she chose not to. Instead she wanted to work on her marriage as did my grandfather. They did what they needed to do to fix whatever was broken, something most couples don't do today.
I can definitely respect that if he had the affair and never did it again and they moved on, worked on the marriage and the cheating did not continue. Sometimes we walk out and don't reflect on what could have been done to fix things.
And if he later showed that he was loyal and wanted to work on his fidelity.
I can understand that. I suppose I was looking at it from the view point of those who claim to be loyal and take care of support their family, but then remain unfaithful to their partners.
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cisslybee2012
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Dec 9 2010, 06:50 PM
Post #43
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The REBEL
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- tayter80
- Nov 30 2010, 07:42 PM
I was having a conversation with my grandmother over the past holiday weekend about faithfulness. Some years ago my grandfather had an affair with a woman who had his child. I always wondered how my grandmother could have stayed with him after such a betrayal. I finally ask her about it and she basically said this, yes it hurt her, but never once during that time did she feel that she had lost my grandfathers love or loyality to her. She told me that faithfulness may come and go in a relationship, but once you no longer have loyality to one another the relationship is over. This got me to thinking, is loyality more important than fidelity in a relationship? Can you even seperate loyality from fidelity?? What do you guys think...
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This got me to thinking, is loyality more important than fidelity in a relationship? That's an excellent question Ms. Tayter.
And yes, loyalty is by far more important than fidelity. And your grandmother was right to hold onto your grandfather.
In fact, fidelity means nothing at all because all it truly means is that somebody is having sexual relations with only one person. That has nothing to do with loyalty in a relationship.
Say for instance you're with a man whose sleeping with only you, but the man is abusive to you. Would his fidelity be a reason for you to stay in the abusive relationship?
If he wasn't sleeping with anybody to begin with and you come along, he's not going to start running around because you're there. If he had his pants on when you met him, then he'll continue keeping his pants on after you get involved with him, he's not going to morph into something he's not, but that doesn't mean that he intends to be loyal to you. If he's not treating you with respect and appreciation, then he won't hesitate to sell you down river whenever the chips go down. Basically, every minute of your time around this man will be spent kissing his butt, up until the point where you can't take another second of it.
So what would him sleeping only with you mean when under no circumstances could you ever depend on him to have your back? Be in your corner? Remember what I mentioned before about type 3 guys? The scumbags? Most of the type 3's don't sleep around, and that's a fact.
Understand?
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June bug
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Dec 9 2010, 07:09 PM
Post #44
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Cisslybee where have you been?
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cisslybee2012
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Dec 9 2010, 07:17 PM
Post #45
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The REBEL
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- June bug
- Dec 9 2010, 07:09 PM
Cisslybee where have you been? Aw shucks!
You miss me!
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tayter80
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Dec 9 2010, 07:31 PM
Post #46
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- cisslybee2012
- Dec 9 2010, 06:50 PM
- tayter80
- Nov 30 2010, 07:42 PM
I was having a conversation with my grandmother over the past holiday weekend about faithfulness. Some years ago my grandfather had an affair with a woman who had his child. I always wondered how my grandmother could have stayed with him after such a betrayal. I finally ask her about it and she basically said this, yes it hurt her, but never once during that time did she feel that she had lost my grandfathers love or loyality to her. She told me that faithfulness may come and go in a relationship, but once you no longer have loyality to one another the relationship is over. This got me to thinking, is loyality more important than fidelity in a relationship? Can you even seperate loyality from fidelity?? What do you guys think...
- Quote:
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This got me to thinking, is loyality more important than fidelity in a relationship?
That's an excellent question Ms. Tayter. And yes, loyalty is by far more important than fidelity. And your grandmother was right to hold onto your grandfather. In fact, fidelity means nothing at all because all it truly means is that somebody is having sexual relations with only one person. That has nothing to do with loyalty in a relationship. Say for instance you're with a man whose sleeping with only you, but the man is abusive to you. Would his fidelity be a reason for you to stay in the abusive relationship? If he wasn't sleeping with anybody to begin with and you come along, he's not going to start running around because you're there. If he had his pants on when you met him, then he'll continue keeping his pants on after you get involved with him, he's not going to morph into something he's not, but that doesn't mean that he intends to be loyal to you. If he's not treating you with respect and appreciation, then he won't hesitate to sell you down river whenever the chips go down. Basically, every minute of your time around this man will be spent kissing his butt, up until the point where you can't take another second of it. So what would him sleeping only with you mean when under no circumstances could you ever depend on him to have your back? Be in your corner? Remember what I mentioned before about type 3 guys? The scumbags? Most of the type 3's don't sleep around, and that's a fact. Understand? Say for instance you're with a man whose sleeping with only you, but the man is abusive to you. Would his fidelity be a reason for you to stay in the abusive relationship?
^^I never thought about it in that kind of way, but it make a whole lot of sense, thanks for you input Ms.Cissly...
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Damn Right
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Dec 9 2010, 07:37 PM
Post #47
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Tayter if your man cheated on you and got another man pregnant, could you still trust him to be honest to you?
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tayter80
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Dec 9 2010, 07:44 PM
Post #48
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- Damn Right
- Dec 9 2010, 07:37 PM
Tayter if your man cheated on you and got another man pregnant, could you still trust him to be honest to you? It depends on the entire situation. If my husband was sorry for what he did and I felt that my marriage was worth staying in, then I would try to work things out. If I felt that I no longer could trust him then I would leave.
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Damn Right
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Dec 9 2010, 07:54 PM
Post #49
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- tayter80
- Dec 9 2010, 07:44 PM
- Damn Right
- Dec 9 2010, 07:37 PM
Tayter if your man cheated on you and got another man pregnant, could you still trust him to be honest to you?
It depends on the entire situation. If my husband was sorry for what he did and I felt that my marriage was worth staying in, then I would try to work things out. If I felt that I no longer could trust him then I would leave. People can open their mouth and say they are sorry for what they did, that doesn't mean that they are truly sorry. If a woman cheated on me I could never ever trust her again, I don't believe that people cheat one time and stop.
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tayter80
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Dec 9 2010, 08:04 PM
Post #50
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- Damn Right
- Dec 9 2010, 07:54 PM
- tayter80
- Dec 9 2010, 07:44 PM
- Damn Right
- Dec 9 2010, 07:37 PM
Tayter if your man cheated on you and got another man pregnant, could you still trust him to be honest to you?
It depends on the entire situation. If my husband was sorry for what he did and I felt that my marriage was worth staying in, then I would try to work things out. If I felt that I no longer could trust him then I would leave.
People can open their mouth and say they are sorry for what they did, that doesn't mean that they are truly sorry. If a woman cheated on me I could never ever trust her again, I don't believe that people cheat one time and stop. Well you and I are different. I know that we are all human and we make mistakes, somethimes we f*ck up royally. Have you never make a mistake in your life that you regretted and never did again?
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